I began today not feeling quite right. The withdrawal from the meds I swore was literally killing me, and at around noon, I was pretty sure that it was not just something I was saying. But let me just get to noon.

My day started with dizziness and the need to get Ben over to Cindy’s for the day. Of course he wanted to take the truck, which has no air, is loud, and although fun to drive was not my first choice this morning. And we were about half way there when he “accidentally” shot the key for my padlock that he was playing with out the window on a country road.

I was not too pleased, but fortunately (I thought) it was on one of those rubbery wristband thingys. I figured it would not be too hard to find, but it was. The good news was tat we finally found it, and made our way to Cindy’s.

But after dropping him off and before leaving my phone rang and it was Amanda who had a migraine and needed to be picked up…..in Greenfield…..not close. I already was dizzy and needed to lay down. The quickest thing would have been to take the truck, but with no air the windows would need to be down and she would not survive it I was sure……so I headed toward the house to pick up my car.

I only wish I could have made it without running out of gas. Now I was REALLY stressed, my head was pounding, and she was calling all the time asking where I was. So Scotty came with our gas can (we will FIX that stupid gas gauge this week) and we went home and got my car. And he went with me to Greenfield behind perhaps every slow driver in Indiana so that he could drive the extra car home.

The good news was that we got her home and put to bed. The bad news is that I started to get worse.

It was about noon and I was extremely dizzy now and was very frustrated by the withdrawal of meds, but it was more than that, I had just too much pressure in my head. So I decided to take my blood pressure just to see what it was.

Okay, it was then I was worried. As a stroke survivor I am technically in a different risk category, but even if I wasn’t it was too high. 176/96 So I called my doc and said I was coming in. And I tried to pretend I was just the victim of a faulty cuff at home.

In retrospect, it was stupid to drive myself, and I do understand that….but I am a guy. The good news is that it was still high but down to 138/91 when I saw him, but it is still WAY TOO HIGH.

In all honesty, I am just tired of all this and need it to go away. The doctor said, though it is very hard, I should tough out this withdrawal because he believes it will get me to where I need to be. I intend to too…..I mean if I do not have an additional stroke prior to making it!

But the day is now done and I am in bed. I brought Ben in here with me because he is really the only thing making me laugh today and I need it. Mom is under full Hospice care now, and is on pain meds as needed around the clock. She had a fever yesterday, but not today. She is no longer eating or drinking by mouth. I shouldn’t whine about my day….her days are clearly worse.

But for now I am going to sleep. I have not had too many days in this life worse than today. I consider myself a man’s man, and I am not prone to being frightened. I got a full dose of it today though. I am hoping and praying that tomorrow will be a better day.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!