Tonight at 5:20 pm, my mom, Kay Tirman took her last breath and entered into her eternal reward. (The picture is of her and Ben on her birthday in 2007) It has been a long battle for her, as she has been an Alzheimer’s patient for many years. She made these last days easy for us as she got worse…..she suddenly seemed to wake out of that dazed mind and give some direction……”do not send me to the hospital, and discontinue treatment.”
Of course I could not trust what I was hearing or listen to it, after all, sick or not she is my mom and I am her son. But she probably knew that and told the Nurse Practitioner the same thing the next morning…..and then she just sort of faded away. It was a great gift to me, and one I will always remember.
When I saw her last, today at around noon, she was suffering. Her breathing was labored and she was not sedated enough. I was not too pleased and even less polite about it for sure. But the Hospice people really stepped in and up, which is why they are the best at what they do. I was already dealing with all sorts of work stuff, trying to keep my blood pressure down, and stressed to the gills. I will regret till the day I die thinking that a call I was on for work was too important to answer a call from a number I did not know. It was pretty poor judgement on my part for sure.
The call was from Carrie Fisher, not of Star Wars fame, but of Hospice…..my mom’s nurse. Carrie saw my mom crashing and did her best to get ahold of me, finally making the decision to sit with her, hold her hand, and say a prayer for her as she died. What I couldn’t do, she did, and although we had only met once before and I was a bit of a butt head to her then, I will say she will be someone I will always remember…..and I mean always. Dealing with patients and families at this point of life can be icky, and I just thank God for people who can walk there despite the messiness. She did more for me and my family than many people I have known all my life. And for her I am eternally thankful and have been blessed.
Of course the big blessing is that my mom is now free of that broken body and mind and is probably in heaven with my two sisters trash talking me right now. I am always conflicted about the blessing of spending eternity with my two sisters, but I know it was something my mom wanted very much. None of this has been the life that she envisioned…..the loss of two daughters, the steady descent into a lost mind, and struggles with diabetes and cancer. It was a mess.
But now life is different for her, and I am happy for her. Her death does not hurt, but gives me hope.
If there are margaritas in heaven, they are drinking them tonight! Rest in Peace mom. I am glad you are free from the torment you were living in.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+