Considering I wanted to “do her in” for the great majority of my youth as she is my sister, the “original Stephanie Tirman” and I cannot think of a finer specimen of human being to teach me about life.  I have lived 52 years on God’s good earth, yet her time was far shorter.  She lived almost all of it suffering and the last part of it suffering intensely with cancer before it took her in 2001.  Yet they way she lived, it seems someone should have told her, as she never seemed to let it get in her way, at least as far as I knew.  And as I deal with stuff in this life I always seem to find myself back to Steph as my mentor.

Now please don’t get me wrong, as both Steph and Sarah died of cancer (Sarah in 2004) but Sarah I am certain would say the same.  She too was amazed by Steph and we were able to spend a lot of time with her.  I won’t go into it all, as it really sucks that they both died far too soon, but I will say Steph did so quite publicly, living almost as if she wouldn’t give her cancer any attention.  It was not delusional at any time, just merely her choice.  She was not going to let it control the life she wanted to live as she understood life far differently from the rest of us.  In all reality, not to be dark, but none of us get out of this life alive, but Steph lived in a way that reflected she appreciated it, whereas most of us take that for granted.

I know I often write of these two closer to their birthdays but I ran across this picture and it amazed me. It is pre-cancer by just a year or so.  It is Steph competing for Ball State University on the parallel bars as she was one of their “all around” gymnasts.  Yet she is in pain here too.  The tape on her ankles was not for show and it is on her wrists as well.  Hell, I hurt getting out of bed sometimes, she had destroyed her joints with “sticking” landing and launching herself over the years, and yet here she is seconds away from somersaulting a few times in the air and sticking another and smiling her brains out.  She never complained, didn’t cry, and had passion for what she was doing and kept her life centered there. And even in the midst of the battles (yes many more than 1 over 15 years) with cancer, she held the same philosophy.  She lived her passion…..her family.

I have had my shares of challenges over the years and some of them pretty serious, yet, they have been far easier to deal with when I remember.  I think we all tend to be a bit self-focused in life as things happen “to us,” yet regardless our turning our attention inward often robs us of the value of living in what is happening around us.  And if there is any lesson I could impart to you from my sister it is this, pay attention to and live the life that is with you now and live it fully, as it will not be there forever. Pain may come and go, or it may ever stay, but your life is happening NOW!  Appreciate it for what it is, live it, and affect it.

I really do miss them both, and my dad would tell you that that is a big 180 from when I used to plot their demise.  But today I will not complain.  Today I will do my best to live the life the God has put before me and enjoy it.

I have many blessings, more than I could count.  But counting really wastes that precious living time.  I will just live in them instead.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+