Like many people, I struggle remembering what day it is, let alone what time.   I would like to blame it on all the changes Covid-19 has brought, but really even without the excuses I do poorly with my memory.

Case in point, my family met on Saturday to inter  my dad in a niche at Trinity Episcopal Church on N. Meridian in Indianapolis.  It was the one year anniversary of his death, and I really didn’t even have a clue.  I knew it was around the time, but I was there to support my family.  And support them I did.

 You see, we were there and we were together, and ultimately we were all doing something for us.  My dad wanted his ashes spread in three places, in the Gulf of Mexico where his mom, my grandma’s ashes were spread, on his father’s, my grandfather’s grave in New York, and then somewhere in Liverpool, but he was not specific.

I suppose you could say that my dad did not want to be in a graveyard or columbarium like he is now.  I think you should understand that this is what he implied quite a few times.  But he had heard from me many times how ridiculous I felt going out to Hudson beach with people in bikinis and swim shorts having a blast while I was there remembering my grandma.  She used to take me to that beach as a kid, so it is the only place on the Gulf that has meaning to me.  I was not taken to her funeral, so it really left things unresolved for me. I am now just resolved to look ridiculous.

Before you think I am complaining, please know I am not.  We intend to spread his ashes in the manner he requested.  In usual Rich Tirman style however, he gave us our instructions, but he did not give us a plan to carry it out.  We all live here in Indiana, and now WE have three big trips to plan.   There is no doubt we will get that done.

But what we now have is a place to go, and it is a place familiar to us all.  It is a place in which we all have decades of experience praying ,  and it was the church in which his funeral was held.  Mike and Anna also went to school there and our dad also taught there after one of his many retirements!

I was taught to visit graves by my grandfather on my mom’s side.  He said to come to the grave, and remember the good things, remember who they were to you in life.

I am a big fan.  I am on record as saying there needed to be a place even before he died, and in all honesty, we all wanted a place to go.  We have that now, and it is beautiful.

I am certain I will forget the dates, just like I always do.  I will leave that to Debby, or Anna, or Mike, you know, someone with a working memory.  But I will stop by, likely often, to just sit, remember, meditate, and pray.

If I wear my clericals there I would not be out of place, but since it is my dad, just in case, I will have my swimsuit in the truck.

Blessings to you my friends!

Tommy+