Yes, this is a picture of Ben and his sister Steph, and three of his additional girlfriends attending “happy hour” last night at our hotel in Missouri. Yes, we went to another game, as this one was against the #1 team in the country, but unlike many morons, we do not post when and where we travel, even when we have people at our house in our absence, which we really always do.  (And an additional yes for burglars, sometimes these people who stay are MARINES…..so go ahead if you really want to be humiliated in the news by that sort of thing.)

But anyway, all our kids are close, and Ben and Steph in particular enjoy these visits with her team. The girls all treat him like a king, and even the head coach gave him some cigars yesterday, but appropriately bubble gum ones.  And like last year, he attended the autograph session after the game where all the players signed this year’s poster over their pictures.  Steph is finally a senior and the seniors are featured every year on it too.  But Ben ALSO has them sign his arms.  So yes, (to use another one) Ben will attend Lapel Elementary tomorrow all tatted up as this is done with indelible marker.  But they love him and he loves them as well.  They are all very top notch athletes with even bigger hearts.  And I will miss them when this experience is over, but probably not as much as Ben. He was a just a little goober when Steph started college, but now these are very real relationships to him.  I am just hoping that like the girls Steph grew up with, they keep connected and come to see us.  A lot of them are like family to us all.

But we are home and left and drove straight through a lot of treacherous weather.  Yes, there were vehicles off the roads everywhere, but the roads were really typical of what I grew up in in winter, and the display of abandoned accidents and slide offs, indicated the lack of understanding of driving on ice, and snow complicated by speed and wind.  I really don’t care if you have a heavy vehicle and 4 wheel drive, even a Zamboni would loose control at those speed.  And time is also unimportant here and showing up to wherever you are going is far more difficult if you are seriously injured or die.  Plenty of people were risking both.

I however and exhausted yet it was a great trip.  Being there to get to watch her play college is why I “retired” (temporarily) from coaching women’s lacrosse.  He time as a player is coming to an end, as is my hiatus from head coaching.  I am not looking forword to the first, but I am the latter.  I just want to see Lindenwood make a run at the National title, and in all honesty, they are still in the hunt.

You see, happy hour, is all about perspective.  And I was certainly happy about the entire day.  I am on a break from coaching and a long period since being a player (although ice hockey) BUT there is a hell of a big difference between skill and heart.  And heart is what I witnessed yesterday, and it almost defeated the #1 team in the country.

It’s still there, and I hope they can see and feel it.  Skill issues are always correctable on the surface with coaching, while heart, with motivation, comes from deep within each individual.  It transforms players into what they never imagined they could be.  And as a player and a coach, it is the Holy Grail of what happens when a team gets it.  I saw it coming and I see it in many of them, the challenge will be those who focus on a 2 point loss, one of an open goal shot (no goalie in the next) and the other by a pretty poorly called yellow card in a crucial and tight game.

I told Steph today however before we left that it was a blessing they got beat.  Being #1 early can lead to cockiness, and cockiness can lead to carelessness.  Good coaches, and I am one, will tell you EVERY game is important, and in every game you play it like it is the MOST important one.  They all start 0-0 and the team and attitude you bring to each game needs to be the one you want to take all the way.  Nothing is insignificant.

I played (ice hockey) and I have coached for close to 25-30 years.  I have never had any team go undefeated.  But I have been a part of ruining that experience, and sometimes quite handily, of undefeated teams.  Heart is the most important.  It trumps skill as it always reflects drive and character.

I am excited to see where this all leads.  But it blessed me very much, as I am there for both my daughter and her team…..but just likes the girls, but that too is heart and skill.

And hopefully by the end of May we will all be happier than we all have ever been before.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+