I spent much of the day in meetings today, and as it turned out, so did Ben. He is very used to hanging out with me, yet the stroke, the heat, and the fact that he is getting a lot heavier and can’t walk on his own all are contributing factors to the upcoming heart attack I appear to be heading for! Hopefully in a few more weeks I will be in better shape and my energy will be back. (or he will be able to run at a brisk pace….I will not hold out for that miracle) But in truth, I do not handle the tired-thing too well.

One of my wife’s coworkers bought me a book to read that ironically I almost bought for myself last week. It is called “My Stroke of Insight” (my apologies to my librarian mother-in-law but you cannot underline in this blogging program) by Jill Bolte Tayor who is a brain scientist who had a stroke herself and wrote about it. Finally someone as fascinated as me with all that is going on inside my brain! I will begin reading it tomorrow in between writing a sermon for the weekend. I will let you know if I glean anything spectacular from reading it. But just from what I read as I looked at it, I was very drawn in.

I am excited about it, because I still need some help and to put my feet firmly on the ground. I will admit that I still struggle a lot. I know that I am blessed in that I have no real physical impairments from all of this, but I really am trying to get a grip on my mind. People talk to me and they see me. I look fine, I act fine, but I do act. On Sunday, though it went well, I was scared to death. And tonight when Amanda came home I just could not get a normal conversation out of my mouth. I had to just head to the other room and keep my mouth shut. I was not capable of anything helpful! I know what I want and what I should be doing, it just sometimes doesn’t come….I am told however to add the word “yet.” I need to be more patient, and though it is hard, I need the world to be more patient with me. I will get there….when however, is the question of every hour.

Keep praying for me and my family. We are still working hard, and I know it will all turn out fine in the end.

God bless…

Tom+