Today has been a difficult day. I did way too much over the weekend, and experienced a lot of problems, particularly today. BUT, as I came into the house finally this afternoon at three and sat down to watch a little TV, my body took over……it was suddenly 7, and though I had no intention of having that happen, it was a welcome break!
I think Amanda can tell I have been struggling. She has written a few blogs for me, and I know she still would, but I want to not just dive into the safety net every time I struggle. Even without a stroke, life isn’t always easy, and I believe it really can destroy your sense of direction, and even your self-worth, if you too often take the escape routes every time something gets hard. Clearly my life is very challenging now, but if I don’t engage it, I know I will regret it later. And though it is often harder to take the path I am on, in the end I believe it is all worth it….just like the Robert Frost poem!
I know I often talk about my stroke and my struggles with it, but that’s because it is constantly in front of me. If you spend time with me, you may not see it at all, but I see it all the time. I really don’t mean to have it dominate anything I write about or talk about, but my dealing with it is part of how they say I get better. My expectations for myself are very high, yet my progress with it is way too slow (for me at least). Hopefully in time I will not think about it, or see it before me at all.
Until then, I suppose you will have to deal with me……part of your hard and uneasy path I am sure. But for now me and my struggles are going to head to bed, for intentional naps are far better than the non-intentional ones. And I am looking forward to a restful night and a peaceful end to this exhausting weekend!
Keep the faith my friends!
Tom+