Tag Archives: my sisters

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A busy, but finished day………

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The house is sure quiet without Stephanie and Scott. They did call, and they are at my Uncle Mickey’s house on Long Island. It was apparently already dark as they passed New York City to see anything other than the lights, but they seemed excited to be there. I was happy to know they made it as well.

As for Amanda, Ben, and I, we spent the day running errands and then going to visit my mom in the nursing home. My mom, though still young (just 69), has Alzheimer’s and you really never know what you will get when you visit her…..you can just be certain it is going to be nothing like you remember.

Tonight was no exception. She always knows me, and can talk pretty sharp, but often doesn’t know what day it is (like Christmas or her birthday). Tonight she asked if I was taking her to her sister’s for Christmas when we haven’t done that for years. And she cried as she does through many visits about things not connected to the topic we are on. She looks like my mom, but she is far from the woman I grew up with. My mom, though often funny, was a pretty tough bird most days….far from the woman I now see in the wheelchair in front of me.

The truly ironic part in all of this is that through most of my life my mom and I locked horns…..and a LOT. My sisters Steph and Sarah got along with her better, particularly Sarah, but both Steph and Sarah died of cancer. I always remember the Lord’s Command to honor your parents, and believe me I do. But I marvel at how sometimes the biggest lessons I learn in life often come in the hardest ways. I certainly spent a lot of time on my mom’s “list” in life, but now I have set that aside. She has a tough road to travel and I am her son, her only surviving child, and I do, and will do, what is right for her.

Anyway, tonight she enjoyed the candy and cashews as well as Ben, her youngest grandson. We saw her new room, and I promised to bring her some books in a couple of days. I know I have mentioned this before, but I am certain my sisters are getting a big kick out of me in this role as they watch from heaven.

But now the day has ended and I am ready for bed. I hope to have a good dream tonight too…….perhaps me in heaven chasing my sisters around with those books and sticking candy in their halos. Oh for such a wonderful dream!!

I hope you have had a great day! Goodnight and God Bless!

Tom+

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Remembering and missing my sister……..

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This time of year is always difficult for me. Seven years ago we buried my sister Stephanie who finally lost a valiant 15 year battle with cancer. Steph (who my daughter is named for) was an amazing young woman, who I miss very much.

One of the other things that makes it hard is that Steph was truly the Queen of Christmas. No one I have ever known was more about other people than Steph. She never missed sending a card, and I have to say I kind of expected a Christmas gift to arrive even after she died, because if anyone could figure out how to do it from beyond the grave it was Steph.

Every time I get a bit down about missing her, or even my other sister Sarah who also died from cancer in 2004, I just remember who she was. Steph wouldn’t want anyone down….particularly at this time of year. She lived her life, and I mean lived it. And she would want me, okay she would expect me, to do the same.

I just miss my sister Steph, but I am certain she knows that. And on this day, and every day I am thankful that one day I will see her and Sarah again! God is good!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tom+

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In memory, but doing something now…….

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Tonight, after a very busy and brutal day for me, Amanda, Scotty, Ben and I met my dad, his wife Debby, and my sister Anna at Victory Field for the Lymphoma and Leukemia Society’s Walk. It was a big crowd, which is hard for me from the start, but it was a great cause. We walked in memory of my sisters Steph and Sarah.

It made for a great night. Though my sisters lost their battles with cancer, there were many survivors there carrying white balloons. I rejoiced for them! Congratulations! They are indeed blessed. And there were many there like us, people who have walked with those who have fought the good fight. I promise you, it is not a fraternity you would want to be in, yet there is a real bond and understanding between those who have lost loved ones to such horrific disease. And of course there were also the brave souls there within the battle, and their families and friends too. They need our prayers and our support. Cancer is such a terrible thing. I know we wish a cure could be found.

For now however, that is not the case, so we are called to join hands and support one another. I am glad we do too. As a priest I am so used to helping others, yet I will never forget those who stepped forward for our family, and with all that we can, we intend to return that blessing.

Pray for those dealing with cancer and pray for their healing. They all appreciate and deserve our prayers!

Good night and God Bless.

Tom+

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Happy Birthday Sarah, I miss you…….

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Today I have been remembering my sister Sarah, who would have been 43 today. She died in 2004 from cancer caused by a rare genetic disease that she and my sister Stephanie both had, Bloom’s Syndrome. It is a disease that causes cancer. Stephanie died in 2001.

Sarah and Steph were both pretty good people, I mean as much as sisters can be. Because of the Bloom’s they were both exceptionally short at 4’6″ and weighed maybe 70 pounds as adults soaking wet. Though through the majority of both their lives I was better known as their chief antagonist, I really do miss them. Steph had a heart of gold and Sarah was one of the funniest people to ever walk this earth. When we were younger she often wore bunny ears, and she once even gave an instructional speech for school on how to do the “Bunny Hop.” I understand she got an “A.”

One of my favorite memories of Sarah was one night very late when she and I were watching TV. It was about 1 in the morning. I was a senior in high school, and she was, I think, in 8th or 9th grade. A commercial came on for this scary movie with this killer-type guy staring right out at us. In a great panic she covered her eyes and started shaking and said “tell me when it’s over, tell me when it’s over!” So I did, but before I said it was okay, I opened my eyes just like the guy on the screen, and moved right in front of her face! It was too good to pass up, and I thought it was a riot.

Needless to say, there was A LOT of screaming at that point! Sarah went berserk and screamed her brains out and then leaped at me and tried to take my eyes right out of my head with her own hands. By the time my mom came out of her room, both of us were screaming! She had scared me probably more than I her….after all, I was just kidding around, she however was really going to kill me I am sure. But live and learn….I never messed with her again!

Sisters can sometimes irritate you beyond belief, and most days I really wish they were still around to do it too because I miss them. I usually have a Margarita on Sarah’s birthday (her favorite) but tonight I just forgot that part so writing will have to do. If heaven is a perfect place, which I believe it is, she is probably having one right now for me! And I hope to have one with both of them, many many years from now, when I get there myself!

Here’s to ya Sarah. Happy birthday……I miss you.

Tom+

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Trying to get things right………

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It’s a little before 8 pm and Puddy and I are out on the porch preparing to write. It has been a day of ups and downs. Part of the day I was doing well, another part I was out (like needing sleep), and another I was in a bit of a haze. I shared a story about yesterday with Deacon Dan Conley tonight. Apparently last night I was going to retire (to bed) early. I was just finishing up something when I read that Cindy McCain, who is just a few years older than I am, also suffered a stroke (hers in 1994) for which she still has some trouble. I remember telling Amanda I was going to look it up downstairs and then the next thing I know it is 3:45 am and I am sitting in a chair watching C-Span! I must of had another stroke! What a loon I am sometimes! The sad part is that I have no recollection of much other than the conversation with Amanda and then waking up in the chair! Go figure. I guess I better change that doctor appointment with my neurologist next Monday to the entire afternoon!

But, as I am happy to share, this is not the first time I have been stupid in my life….it’s just the first time I have been able to blame it on something other than poor judgement! The good news is that I am still in the game, and still have every intention and desire to improve my condition. I know the doctors said that at 6 months I would probably be where I will be at permanently, so with just a little less than a month to go, I can say without reservation that I am glad I cannot do math!! Life is looking to be a bot confused!

BUT, life needs to be put in perspective too. I have had a stroke. Many others have had them too who are far worse than me. I am surrounded by wonderful competent clergy who have stepped forward in faith and made what we are doing far better than had I just continued on and never had a stroke. Their stepping forward has opened up remarkable blessings to us all. (Sure, when I was in my right mind I was probably going to fire them all, but thank God for this brain damage!)

But more than that, I have sat at the feet of two of my sisters who entered eternal life far too soon. (Steph in 2001 and Sarah in 2004…both of cancer) Not everyone can give you this perspective, but I am confident that my brother Mike and my sister Anna would tell you the same as I will now. Our sisters Steph and Sarah had it bad, yet even with cancer, they focused on other people. They were always concerned for you and others, and though they knew what was happening, they also were confident about where they were heading.

You know, I cannot see them any longer, but in truth, in my condition I am just forgetful and confused….they had major problems to deal with. Cancer took them both, yet I still have time here left. They were in pain, I am just a pain. They suffered every day, I don’t know what I do half the time, but I am not suffering.

If there is one thing that Steph and Sarah both taught me it was to live every day. I am not depressed about my condition, though it often frustrates me. I am just going to live with what I have. Even in something like this, we are not called to look inward, we are called to look outward and serve other people.

I am sorry I write so often about what I deal with, but the reason I started to blog was because it was therapeutic for me. That part indeed works, but what I do not want to appear is whiny! It really is not about me! My sisters would kill me if I really got like that! And I have this great confience that I will see them again!!!

Do me a favor and send me some comments on this blog! Let me know that you read it and how you are doing! Life is too short to not care for each other, and as for me…..I want to keep it in the proper perspective.

Goodnight and God Bless!

Tommy+