It is pretty ironic that I have gone on leave, especially since I spent all of last night and most of the day with chills and a fever…..I clearly would be out this weekend anyhow. I ache (probably from the fever) and have a big headache, yet I am amazed at my ability to not get things right. Here’s the truth, I picked up a bug someplace and it is having its way with me. But since the stroke, every headache I get fills me with fear that something surrounding that is wrong! What strikes me as odd is that I never ever had a headache when I had the stroke, nor do I even remember it. Yet anything different makes you worry……an ache in one place, blurry vision even when I know I wear glasses, stumbling on a word (though I have done that for my entire life), anything!
One of the things I had to do today is take my son Scotty to the high school for a band performance. Both Steph and Scott play instruments and both had to play, Steph just has a car and insisted her performance was going to “suck” and she begged us, almost in tears, not to go! It was one of the few things I have missed in her life, but more of a pastoral issue. She said half of their small ensemble didn’t show and she was so thankful I too was numbered among the missing…
Scotty I was able to watch, fever and all. He plays trumpet with the band, and they did quite a few numbers and sounded wonderful. I totally scared him however on the way home. My sister-in-law Rhonda is an Occupational Therapist and was in Indianapolis the last few days with another OT, her friend Wanda, for a conference. As I talked about them both I guess I didn’t separate things or more than likely he wasn’t listening well (we call him Captain ADD, but I clearly am the ADD King). So when I kept interchanging Wanda and Rhonda, Scotty thought I might be having another stroke!! He finally stopped me from talking and asked if I was okay. We ended up laughing, which of course I do a lot with Scott.
The hardest part of my day has been needing to stay away from Ben and my 4 year-old niece Kayla who has been here since Wednesday. I think I probably have a sinus infection, but you can never be too careful. Neither of them understand it, but for those of us with the experience of staying up all night with a sick baby or 4 year-old, we know the importance of good healthy distance!
Right now Amanda and Rhonda are downstairs being typical Kansas women….when they start to cook I have to get out of the way. (they tell me to too) They make enough food for every farm in the county, yet neither of them lives on a farm anymore…nor anywhere near one. I think it just makes them feel better, like remembering growing up. And I believe that there is nothing ever wrong with that!
I took some Advil and hopefully it will help. I am sure I have a lot of burgers and farm food to eat in just a few minutes, so I hope to end my first full day of leave headache-free and full!
God bless all of you. I appreciate your prayers and your reading this blog. It helps me a lot. Writing is the one thing I have almost fully recovered, and being able to communicate without worrying about stuttering or losing a thought is a real blessing to me!
I will see you all very soon!
Fr. Tom+