doctors | Father Tom Tirman OSM

Though I have lived a life where I have not been a stranger to struggle, often the struggles I have dealt with have been physical, or they have been things that I can at least see or understand the path for dealing with. So much of what I have been dealing with in terms of stroke recovery however has been difficult, primarily because the issues I deal with now surround my brain! And of course when what you need to deal with is the very thing not working like you want it to, it’s often hard to see the forest through the trees.

So I left the world of specialists today, and went in to see my own doctor. It wasn’t that I was dissatisfied with anything, nor was I expecting anything either…..I just wanted to talk to about all of the things I was dealing with and how I was feeling about them with him. I not only trust him completely, but even in my professional career, I consider him one of the finest doctors I have even known. And with my racing mind, it was great to sit down with him (and my list of questions – Amanda sent a list too) and get some answers.

I have to say, he made me feel a lot better. I know I have a lot to deal with as I move ahead, but his calm demeanor, and his assurance I was going to be fine (back to normal again, though it will take time) really was helpful to me.

I think some of the comfort I found was in the fact that my visit reminded me of when I was a kid. As a kid my doctor was, among so many other things, a pediatrician, an orthopedic, a surgeon, and even a counselor…..it was before all the specialization, but in reality, they were the best specialists of all….they KNEW YOU, and they knew all about you. You trusted them, because they were like family, they always fixed you up and got you better, and they looked after all your care. My doctor today didn’t listen to my heart, he listened to me…..and he made all the difference.

So here’s to my doctor and others like them………they’re the greatest!

God Bless..

Fr. Tom+

There was a great deal of security for me to hear what he had to say, plus it gave me a great deal of confidence. I trust him

Though I am out of the hospital and doing (in my mind) just fine, as I have been thinking about my experience. And one of the things that remember is the graciousness and care of the many people who took care of me and performed all those tests. It must be a difficult job, after all, I am pretty certain I am one of the world’s worst patients….okay I know I am.

Many of my tests of course were on my brain and my heart. And in each room, in my anxiety-ridden state I would say (to help me get through it), “My wife just wants to see to see if I have a heart/brain.” Or after the test I would ask, “Doc, (with stuttering….we have to stay in the scene) can you please tell her you found a heart/brain?” Each time they smiled and they laughed, and they acted like it was the first time they had ever heard those jokes, when in fact they probably hear them at least 10 times each day! (DOCTOR’S REPORT: Incidentally I did show the existience of BOTH a heart and a brain, and though that puzzled Amanda very much, (as it would many wives) apparently the docs told her you cannot have strokes without both)

What I can say from all of this it that it is has provided me with a helpful perspective to have as a priest…..a look from the other side of the hospital bed. Not that all this is behind me by any means, but because hospitals and patients within them are such a constant part of my life. Fear, anxiety, pain, illness, family-issues, tons of things come into play when something goes haywire with a loved one’s health. And the dynamic of all of these scenarios is often as varied as the people and the experiences they are going through. I understand, I had a stroke, but after a few days they let me walk by myself, and when they did I was up doing laps in the hall. I had the drive, but I also had the ability, albiet with some struggle. But some of my cellmates there will never walk again, and some are still there fighting. The truth is, how we all deal with issues such as these are important, and how we deal with the people struggling through them is important too. Only the jokes to get us by and the sexy hospital gowns appeared to be the same…everything else seems patient-specific.

I want you to know that I’ll be back, and I intend to be back to that very floor within weeks. I’m going to dress a little different when I go, so people don’t have to ask anymore, “Are you REALLY a priest?” But I know what it is to feel the things I did last week, and there were many troubling and fearful thoughts. But they cared for me, during a time I was really struggling, with anxiety-laden jokes and all.

The good news however, is that within me they found both a heart and a brain.

I have every intention of using them.

God Bless…

Fr. Tom+

Father Tom Tirman OSM

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