Tag Archives: challenges

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The work of recovery across the miles……

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I am writing this blog from my hotel room in Overland Park, Kansas where I am attending a meeting that will end on Saturday. It has been a long day and one full of many challenges. In the controlled world of my everyday life I am not presented with this much stimuli. And since I am traveling alone, all the decisions are mine to make. I have been in two airports, found my bag, got my rental car, drove the 40 miles to the hotel, and felt it was a MAJOR victory in terms of what I thought I could do! I was so happy I did so well.

Of course on the flip side, I forgot LOTS of stuff (since I packed myself) and I had to make two trips to the Wal-Mart. And even with a list the second time, the stress of my forgetfulness made me forget to read the list!!! Yikes! I am sure all the people gathered from all over the country for this meeting may wonder why in the world I was ever asked to come!!! But at least I now have a toothbrush and socks, so everything will be okay. And if they do wonder, the blessing of my brain is that I may just forget it anyway!

I know my recovery often inches its way into these blogs, but it is partially because Amanda and I agreed that the blog itself would be helpful to me, as my honesty about my struggles may be helpful to you. What I can say through all of it though is that one of its biggest blessings has been my lack of forgetfulness about my faith. My faith has not wavered in all of this, but rather, it’s been strengthened. And if I were ever given the choice between having trouble with numbers or stuttering verses struggling or forgetting parts of my faith, the choice would be so easy. I have been blessed, for the Lord has never left me. He has sustained me and inspired me, and though I may not be all that I was, the truth is I can always find someone to do the math for me! (Thank God…..!!)

Keep my family in your prayers while I am gone. I am sure they suffer and cry and are miserable without me around (Steph actually told me that they went out to eat and were having a blast….but she lies!) But truthfully, please keep me in them. Today is the first day of a big test for me, and so far so good. I have my sermon done for Sunday morning in Nashville, and will hopefully finish the one I am working on for the launching of St. Paul’s Greenfield by tomorrow night. I just don’t want to get too tired, especially when I am in Kansas and alone!

And to make sure I have the best opportunity to do well tomorrow it is off to bed for me! Thanks though for checking in! Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Fr. Tom+

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Of the unintentional path to snoozyland…….

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Today has been a difficult day. I did way too much over the weekend, and experienced a lot of problems, particularly today. BUT, as I came into the house finally this afternoon at three and sat down to watch a little TV, my body took over……it was suddenly 7, and though I had no intention of having that happen, it was a welcome break!

I think Amanda can tell I have been struggling. She has written a few blogs for me, and I know she still would, but I want to not just dive into the safety net every time I struggle. Even without a stroke, life isn’t always easy, and I believe it really can destroy your sense of direction, and even your self-worth, if you too often take the escape routes every time something gets hard. Clearly my life is very challenging now, but if I don’t engage it, I know I will regret it later. And though it is often harder to take the path I am on, in the end I believe it is all worth it….just like the Robert Frost poem!

I know I often talk about my stroke and my struggles with it, but that’s because it is constantly in front of me. If you spend time with me, you may not see it at all, but I see it all the time. I really don’t mean to have it dominate anything I write about or talk about, but my dealing with it is part of how they say I get better. My expectations for myself are very high, yet my progress with it is way too slow (for me at least). Hopefully in time I will not think about it, or see it before me at all.

Until then, I suppose you will have to deal with me……part of your hard and uneasy path I am sure. But for now me and my struggles are going to head to bed, for intentional naps are far better than the non-intentional ones. And I am looking forward to a restful night and a peaceful end to this exhausting weekend!

Keep the faith my friends!

Tom+

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Of overcoming the challenges of life with (the help of) the Lord…….

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The scripture passage on our website today (which changes everyday) is from Philippians chapter 4, verse 13, which says “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” And this passage has a lot of meaning for me.

You know, I have had plenty of struggles in my life, and at times my life has been downright hard, if not miserable. But always, each and every time, I have been able to dig deep to my faith and know that despite life’s challenges, my feet were always on solid ground. In my own life I have had quite a few challenges too. I have had two pretty hard orthopedic surgeries with long rehabs and one with permanent impairment, and I have had a few personal challenges as well. But you know, in all of them, at least I had my mind.

But suddenly life has become a challenge like no other I have ever experienced, for in the midst of it the problem is now often my mind itself, for my injury, this time, is there. And now, when I get worried or afraid, or even down about my rehab, or have setbacks, I cannot even tell if my feet are on the ground or not. My mind reels now a lot of the time (which I understand is normal for stroke victims) but the surety I often could rationalize before, now often evades me.

But here’s my secret……..I really CAN DO everything through Him who gives me strength! And I am thankful for that because I know that without Him I would be severely lost! Because when my mind reels, if He were not there, there would seem to be no hope. But in truth, in our hardest times, and even in our darkest times, the Lord is ALWAYS with us giving us what we need to move ahead, even when we cannot see. I cannot tell you how very lost or even scared I feel at times, I really do, but it’s ALWAYS my faith that sees me through. I may be loopy, but I know I am never alone! And I know in the end I will be restored!

You know, I have spent my life listening to clergy talk about their faith….and often in lofty disconnected ways to the reality of my life. But I know all to well that sometimes life can be challenging, hard, and sometimes seemingly unfair. But I don’t ever want you to doubt that that the Lord walks with you in all of it and that He can give you strength! For I not only believe it, I live it EVERYDAY, and I hope that means something to you in your life.

If it sounds as if I am rambling today or disconnected, it may be because I am. Today has been a challenging day, particularly this afternoon and evening. But tomorrow is a new day and I know that the Lord will bring me to it. For in the times that I have not the strength, He ALWAYS will provide! And that’s not just for me, but for you too, and any who call upon His Name!

Give it a shot….if it works for me and my crippled mind, there’s no telling what He can do with your good one!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tom+