This certainly wasn’t the post that I wanted to post for Easter, and my Easter was far from the one I wanted to live, but as we say it is what it is.

Yesterday, mid-sermon I experienced a lot of confusion, and when I say a lot, I mean A LOT.  Post stroke (it was 5 years ago this month) I no longer use manuscripts as I have trouble going back and forth and keeping on track.  So now I generally use some notes and talk…..and “generally” it goes well.  Sure occasionally I get stuck in what I call “stroke loops,” but if I just keep talking or relax a bit I am able to move on.  This has worked for just about 5 years, but it suddenly did not work yesterday.

Somewhere in my sermon I got lost.  I suddenly did not know whether I was in the middle, at the beginning, or close to the end.  I had no idea as to that point as to what I said, although I knew what I was going to say.  People who have had strokes sometimes struggle for the right words, and I was struggling with a ton of them.  I even stopped twice for longer periods of time….it didn’t work.  People looked in what they I sure would describe as concerned, I felt they were horrified…..at least I was.  So I confessed exactly what was happening and handed over the service to Father Tony who finished it.

The thought that was running through my mind, as everyone else’s, was he is having another stroke.  It is the same thought that runs through your mind every time you get confused, or have a headache, or have trouble seeing.  It’s really just paranoia though as I had none of those problems pre-stroke and no recollection of the event at all.  It is just what you think.

But a neurological exam and a CT scan later (and probably about a million dollars too) saw me released on my own recognizance to home.  I confess that I am horrified and embarrassed and although tons of people will tell me not to be, in fact I do.  I have it all still recorded, which I shall erase in a few minutes.  AND, I will be doing very little today (MONDAY) other than hiding in my hole and feeling stupid.

Sure, it has never happened to that extent before or in that particular setting, and it may not ever happen again.  But as for now I am just happy to not be in the hospital.  After all, if you are going to be crazy, there is really no place like home.

God bless!

Tommy+

Well it is Holy Saturday, and like always, the anticipation is killing me.  Easter Sunday is tomorrow and it is also the big “reveal” for the newly remodeled St. Patrick’s in Noblesville.  And no, I will not post a picture and ruin the surprise!  I have instead posted a picture of “There is a cat on my bed.” An artistic rendition of real life that is hanging on my bedroom door, and which I am certain will become a classic.  It has a current value of about $10,000, but in all honesty is not for sale.

But regardless, it has been a busy busy busy day.  Father Jon Back came up from Cincinnati to help, and the small Holy Saturday service we did took far less time than all the other work.  It was reflective of the season….everything builds toward Easter.

So I hope you are prepared for what is to come.  I know I am thanks to a lot of work by a lot of different people.  But now I need to get some sleep, of course after getting that dang cat off my bed.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

This is perhaps the most bizarre Holy Week I have ever endured, and yes I am using the word endured as I thought a lot about it and it is sadly appropriated.  Our basement is a mess, the washer and dryer are no longer connected (not that I need to wear any clothes during Holy Week), and I logged about 300 miles yesterday during which I tried to clear my head the entire time……it is not working.

Oddly enough, in times like these I always turn to my sisters Stephanie and Sarah, God rest their souls.  Steph fought cancer for over 15 years before leaving this earth in 2001.  Sarah fought a much shorter battle but sadly with the same outcome,  She died in 2004.

I wasn’t with Sarah too much in her illness as she lived 10 hours away and we were older, but Sarah and I got to spend a lot of time with Steph, and I think we would both agree that she was the bravest person we had ever known.  Steph didn’t complain, she didn’t show fear, yet she was beaten up by cancer more than anyone I have ever seen.  But when you would visit with her, she was always concerned about you and your problems.

So she helps me a lot.  Every time things get rough, or even on fire, I think of her example.  SHE had problems, I just have stuff to sort through…..and really I shouldn’t complain.  Thanks Steph for helping me endure this, and a lot of other things too.

I miss both of them very much, and yet I will confess YES they are my sisters…….and it needs to be said, yes, I do wonder if they are paying someone off up there to give me a hard time even more!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Well, this is a picture of the one thing that is currently right in my life, my repaired bridge.  It was a big job and it is finished, but as I feared yesterday, YES….the waterproofing contractors begin work in the morning.  And in addition to that, we (my staff and I) had to pull off a bit of maneuvering in terms of the schedule to make Holy Week appear seamless.

SO tomorrow morning, instead of hitting bootcamp before I head into a day of two different services, I instead will miss it and bring a ton of workers and equipment into my house…..again.  Believe me, this is far better than years that we have had a crisis in the church such as a serious illness or a death, but it is stressful nonetheless.  And I want to thank my wife at this point for convincing us to not have more children, AND for not killing me.

But all in all, things are going pretty smooth.  We are our OWN contractors at St. Patrick’s and thanks to Dave and Marsha Dragoo who met Amanda and I there tonight, the work there is almost finished.  And we have just eight more services to move through before being able to celebrate Easter. (They are ALL IMPORTANT ONES…attend one near YOU!)

But for now it is off to bed.  I am tired, but always am during this week.  Yet I thank God for these added stressors as they are just things, and not painful or traumatic to any people.  They too will pass.  And on a week upon which we contemplate what Jesus has done, all of it pales in comparison.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

In a prior post I marveled at how Fathers PT, Dan and I started a project at St. Patrick’s, a project that I will help complete tomorrow in Holy Week.  But as if that was not bad enough, we have been having some work done around our house that we budgeted and saved for and one of those larger projects is the repair of the bridge that goes over a ravine in our front lawn.  AND, it was a project that was to be finished last Friday, but it was not…….yes, the guys doing it are still here today.  They are doing a great job, mind you, but it has still spilled over into Holy Week.  This picture is PRE-repair.

But we have ONE LAST project that was budgeted to be done on our house this year and that was to do some waterproofing around the foundation.  The company doing it is from Fort Wayne, and we got ourselves on their “on call” list as it is much cheaper, but it means that if they are doing another job in the area and finish early they will call us to start on ours within 48 hours.

No, I was not surprised seeing a call from Fort Wayne on my cell phone tonight, not surprised at all in fact.  There was no message left, but I have family there and anyone else’s number would have come up with their name.  I will expect the call in the morning.

After all, it’s still Holy Week, and what else could possibly happen?

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

(This picture is not related)

Our son Scotty is a US Marine, and the final part of bootcamp is what they call “The Crucible.”  It is a brutal test of everything that the recruits have trained for, and their final test before earning the title of US Marine.

Scotty of course passed that test, and has also completed combat training and is now at his MOS school in North Carolina.  I on the other hand am in the midst of my 1000th Crucible, as I am a priest and it is Holy Week.

I do not want you to get the wrong impression, as if I think it is some type of burden, because it is not.  Like Scotty’s Crucible, it is something you face and enter quite willingly and with a sense of anticipation.  As a priest the reliving of the Triumphal Entry into Jerusalem and the Crucifixion and Resurrection are very vital to just who it is that I am.

But I try to walk it with a sense of seriousness and certainly focus, but as I sat here in my office tonight typing this, I was interrupted by an email letting me know that PFC Scott T (for Thomas, he is named after me, and Ben is Benjamin Scott, named after him) Tirman has joined PINTEREST.  I wanted to die!

Now do not get me wrong, for I AM ON PINTEREST, but I do it to find recipes to make my fat butt thinner.  My son however, is a US Marine, and to be very honest this whole I have joined Pinterest thing has been a bit of a distraction to my focus.

Oh SURE, I know it can all be BLAMED on my WIFE AMANDA MAY (named after the month) TIRMAN, who is the reigning QUEEN of PINTEREST.   And I know this because we eat Pinterest, our house is decorated in Pinterest, and Amanda even performed an appendectomy on me this afternoon via Pinterest (using a butter knife and some yarn).

So in all honesty I do not blame Scotty.  He may just be sucking up.  But regardless, it is a distraction.  I will see my neurologist in the morning and I will share this.  I am sure focus meds are on their way.

Keep me in your prayers and Scotty too.  Only Amanda is rejoicing in this!!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Well it is Palm Sunday, and I would love to post for you some interesting picture of Ben or another person in my family, but in truth Palm Sunday begins HOLY WEEK and I see my family few and far in between this week.  I travel around and they don’t.  They go to St. Patrick’s in Noblesville where Fathers Morgan, Conley, and me decided it was a good time for a makeover there.

So the white wall that you now see cover what was paneling, perhaps from as early as 1920.  This face lift has made it plenty brighter in St. Patrick’s and banners are also on their way as well as a fresh coat of paint.  (Yes, the paint will come this week too)  But in the end, it will look great (it already looks better) and Father Tony called me this morning before I headed to St. George’s in Muncie excited about what he was seeing.

I actually came and took over St. Patrick’s after Father Robert, the former Vicar there, went on medical leave.  It is a great congregation but one that had been suffering with a lot of transition (mainly this location was its 4th in 5 years, and now a priest)  But as I came and worked there, Father Tony left St. Paul’s in Greenfield (another church that we planted) and I asked him to serve there with me.  It has made all the difference.  And I told Tony this morning to share how we had to do this as we were afraid he would leave if we kept the paneling.  He just laughed.  Tony is a great guy and we have been good friends since we were both young men……close to 30 years if not more.

But anyway, the work in progress was apparently a hit.  People liked it (so far) and we are thankful for that.  Holy Week has just started ad still here, but in 8 days and 10,000 services (and a bit of painting) we will be done.

But I want to encourage you to take the time over these few days to consider working on yourself.  Going to church is something you do, but who you are in the sight of God and how you live is all about your identity.  It is a First Order issue, and I commend it to you, especially during Holy Week.

AND, if God is calling you to PAINT, which I am certain He is, give me a text or a call at 317-603-0012 (YES, that is my actual cell number!)  I would love to help you out.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Yes, I know I have been a bit less than faithful about daily blogging, but it (my short absence) really indicates what I feel is a healthy pattern for myself in my life.  You see, I do not blog to get “hits” or a lot of viewers, I blog out of my need for structure and therapy “post-stroke.”  Oh sure, ORIGINALLY (before the stroke when I started this blog) I intended to be God’s gift to the unenlightened.  But fortunately for YOU…..I had a stroke and just blog about my super screwed up and boring life.

So to fill you in, TOMORROW begins HOLY WEEK and I have discover that this is very important as I am a PRIEST.  But I have been working day and night for over a week, with an ordination, Confirmations, traveling to Michigan to take the vows of the first WOMAN in our Order, and doing a very special project at St. Patrick’s Church (the Church that Amanda and Ben are members of (and technically Steph and Scott) that is not quite yet finished, but well on its way!

And as it always seems to happen, something ALWAYS happens about now.  Usually, in my many years of ministry, it is something like a funeral or tragedy of some other kind.  But THANK GOD that all that seems to be happening right now is a HUGE BLIZZARD coming our way.  Now of course when I say “huge blizzard” I mean anywhere from 6 to 10 inches of snow, but I ONLY say that to make the people here in the “deep south” (central Indiana) feel as if it is a major thing.  You want to help people along.  But as a kid in Mishawaka, Indiana (home of the Cavemen) the superintendent of our schools would go out in the morning with his cup of coffee and any snow less that 116 inches would require us to go to school.  School has only been cancelled once there in 1500 years.

But Holy Week is tomorrow and I am ready.  I will be in MUNCIE tomorrow for the 10:30 service and am looking forward to it.  It is Palm Sunday and the beginning of Holy Week.  It is the first of many services I will be a part of over the next 8 days, but I am ready, and taking a shot at making them all. (Thanks Ben for the apropos picture tonight too)

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

It is just after midnight on a day I took a work trip up to Michigan and back, and now I am faced with moving that little monster (pictured incognito here) because he THOUGHT with me gone that he would sleep in my bed with his mom…..BUT I CAME HOME.  The last I talked to him though he told me that I was not coming home and that he had mommy all to himself.  He is in for a bit of a surprise.

But such is the life of a dad dealing with his 5 year old son, his 5 year old son who would throw him under the bus to get his mom to himself.  Oh sure, he does love me, but the second we compete for anything (like for his mom’s attention) the gloves come off and he goes for the jugular.  He is a pro, but tonight a sleepy unconscious pro.  He will wake up wondering how he got there.

And of course I will be me on the way to school and tell him I never left and how he and I went to dinner and played canasta or something like that.  He will engage me for a little while but soon move on to his next evil plan.  He keeps me on my toes, which is an amazing feat for a guy my size.  And all I can say is good for him, I am up for the challenge.  Or as the young people now say, “Challenge accepted!”

But in all honesty, THAT is for the morning which technically it already is, but I mean the morning AFTER I sleep.  You never mess with a cobra when you are sleepy, and this mongoose is tired.  I will fill you in tomorrow, that is if I win.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

In preparation for the complete waterproofing of our house, we had glass block windows installed in two of our basement windows.  I generally do most of that kind of work myself, but as I have not ever done glass block, I decided to have a pro do it.  They look spectacular.

But in truth, it has been a day in which I have struggled anyway, so this is more of a report than a post. I am really having a tough time, and could use your prayers.  Glass block aside, my life is not all basement security.

SO OFF TO BED I GO.  I am so sorry for the short post, but at 5’8″ I am a short guy, and sometimes you just have to take care of yourself.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!


Tommy+