Tag Archives: Ben

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A good read from varied prospectives……..

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Scotty, Ben and I went down to Half Priced Books tonight because Scotty is required to get a book, “Science Fair Projects for Dummies” for an Honors Chemistry course he is taking in the fall. “Science Fair Projects for Dummies” really seems like an oxymoron to me, but regardless of what I think, he is required to own a copy of that book.

It was funny to me to be up at the register paying though. Ben and Scott were both in the car waiting for me, and I had picked Ben up two books (he is more of a reader than Scott). So in addition to “Science Fair Projects for Dummies” we also got “Hello Spot!” and “Best Friends,” a timeless classic of kitten/puppy relationships. It reminded me of not so long ago buying Scotty the ever popular “Moo Baa La La La,” “The Barnyard Dance,” and “But Not the Hippopotamus!” Children’s books are fun, and I must be good at buying them, after all I never took Honors Chemistry!

We did have a little conflict in the car on the way home though. I caught Scott reading a little of “Best Friends!” But after I reminded him of how much work he had to do he soon put it down and began reading about science fairs. Ben seemed to be enjoying “Hello Spot!” too. It had been chewed quite thoroughly by the time we arrived at home. Overall I would say, it was a successful trip and a good day!

Sometimes my wife says I don’t use enough theology or religion when I write these, and I suppose that is true. But I am a priest who often talks about family values, and I try to live by them too. I have seen so many clergy who are great priests but lousy parents and I don’t want to, or ever intend to be one of them. So perhaps I am postulating that my examples are just merely good theology in action! But it really doesn’t matter, I enjoy writing about my kids and it’s good for me!” There is already plenty of dull stuff to read out here on the Internet, and I know because I read a lot of it! But as for me, I will choose the good portion (yes, a misuse of a Bible verse) and hold up my two wonderful boys today that I love!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless…..

Tom+

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A day I would rather not relive………..

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Though I thought today would be pretty relaxing, it was anything but. Deacon Conley was doing the sermon at all our missions this weekend, and it looked to be a welcome break for me. Things went well yesterday, but this morning as I was leaving for St. Patrick’s, Amanda shared that her head was killing her, and that she felt she was possibly getting another migraine. She told me she had already taken her migraine medicine, but that was also a clear indicator that she would not be heading to church. All through that first service I thought about how I wish I had taken Ben with me, but I couldn’t really assume there would be someone there to care for him during the service. I did however know that Father Chuck would be at St. Anne’s in Anderson for our 11:30 service. And no, I was not intending to ask Chuck to watch Ben, but I figured I would sit in the congregation with Ben at St. Anne’s while Chuck celebrated for me……after all, I did so well with Ben yesterday!

But all three of our deacons were a St. Patrick’s with me, and after the service they suggested a more intelligent solution…..that I go home and take care of both of them. And though I did want to go to Anderson, it was a good suggestion. I took their advice and went how to a very appreciative wife and a very excited boy! Amanda went right to bed, and Ben and I went right back to the wrestling match we started yesterday! It was the right thing to do all around.

But clearly by the late afternoon, the lingering effects of my stroke were evident. I just don’t have it some days and today was one of them. I was wiped out by 5. Fortunately Amanda was up and feeling better which allowed me to get some rest.

Of course I always remember the line that there is no rest for the wicked, and I am not sure why that always comes to my mind when things begin to go wrong, but it always seems to! For just as I was thinking about finishing this blog up at about 9pm and heading to bed, I got a call from the nursing home telling me that my mom had had a seizure. So I was off to the nursing home to see her, and thankfully she was fine.

My mom is a sad story. She is young, just in her late 60’s and has been in a nursing home from diabetic and smoking related strokes and TIA’s for about 10 years. She had three children, but my two sisters, Stephanie and Sarah, died from cancer in 2001 and 2004 respectively. I am her only living child, and I feel very sorry for her. She was extremely close to my sisters, and though we always laugh that she got stuck with the worst of us, I can’t help but thinking at times as if she is thinking, “no kidding.” She just reads, still smokes, and now is wheelchair bound. She sometimes is incredibly confused (dementia) but tonight was pretty sharp, and concerned.

She is one of the reasons I have worked so hard to avoid diabetes. My grandfather had a similar story, but I will be where it stops. I will confess however that the stroke scared and scares me to death in terms of my family history. I have a lot of life and living to do…..I do not intend to do it with a demented mind or from a home if I can avoid it!

Anyway, the day (I hope) is done, and I am thankful for it. I will still be receiving a call from the nursing home tonight, but I will pray it is just for a report. My wife had told me to make sure I pick up the kitchen, so I know she is okay. (I read this to her and she has now threatened to write her own blog to refute my clear and truthful persecution) But I am exhausted and hope to hit the bed.

But tonight I am thankful for the great guys I work with, for they are not just good souls (most of the time) they are my friends, and I know they care for me. I love what I do, and I love the people I do it with. I am truly blessed……even on the most exhausting days! Thanks be to God!

Nite my friends, and God bless.

Tom+

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Of my incredible wrestling abilities………

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Tonight all of our clergy, with the exception of Father Sean who starts next week, snuck down to St. Matthew’s in Nashville to sit in the congregation as Deacon Tony Bender (our newest deacon) held his first Deacon’s Mass. No pressure on Tony that’s for sure (ha ha)…..just Deacon Dan helping him and the other three of us sitting out there smiling at him! But despite all of us staring at him, he did a great job. (He’s a pretty steady, good natured guy!) I actually had never been present for a Deacon’s Mass before, because when a priest is present he usually just celebrates the Eucharist himself. But Father Chuck had seen a Deacon’s Mass, and I wanted to see one…..and who better to see for my first than my good friend of 25 years Tony Bender?

But actually, that is not my story tonight. My story is Ben, and more than that, it’s Amanda too. You see, I NEVER sit in a congregation except on rare occasions, and those rare occasions are never in any of my own churches. So tonight as a rookie out there in the seats, I made a real rookie mistake. I decided it would be a good idea for me to hang with Ben through the service. Little did I know it would not be all worship and observation for me…..no, it was often a wrestling match instead, and I lost a lot of its rounds.

Ben first wanted the collar tab that makes the white square in the uniform of a priest. (He has NO concept of personal space) It’s funny how he is always stealing that collar tab from me, but this time after he stole it, he was adamant about not giving it back! Then he decided he wanted to throw stuff on the floor, then he wanted to jump, and then he wanted to yell just to hear his voice! So I got up and took him with me to the last row, but about half way through the service Amanda felt that he and I were just being too much and he was taken away from me faster than the Cubs lose in September every year. And to this very moment I am not sure whether it was punishment or a gift, but needless to say I needed it either way. And he was whisked off and returned a short time later as delightful as ever.

How she does that, I will never know, but I have to say, I admire her work. I know he doesn’t understand words too well, but he certainly seemed to understand her. She has a real handle on how to handle him, and for that I am thankful.

In truth, I am just happy she didn’t whisk me away…….I do not think I would have fared as well!

So now we are home and Ben is asleep and the day is at its end! Thank the Lord! I am not watching tomorrow, but will be back up in my usual spot. I know the congregation, and especially Amanda, will be thankful for that!

Nite and God Bless!

Tom+

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A tribute to our very own Neil Armstrong………

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There he stood at the edge of his Playskool walker. It was a moment he had been preparing for his entire life. I swear I heard the words, “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind,” though all Amanda heard was “ba ba ba.” And then it happened, history was made……Ben took his first step all alone.

Of course my attempts to alert the media fell on deaf ears! You’d think they would be covering such a big event. But these days if it doesn’t involve Brittany, Lindsay, or some dysfunctional sports figure, then they consider it a “non-event.” To us however, it was and is a pretty big thing.

It comes however despite my warnings to my wife and even to Ben himself. Knowing what I know as a parent of over 16 years, I have asked him (Ben), and pleaded with him to not to begin walking. And it’s with good reason too. Steph and Scott started walking many years ago I have been chasing them ever since. I am older now, and it may kill me to chase another! But alas, no one but me seems to care, so I guess, despite the risk, I’ll be chasing him too, but I will do so with a smile on my face. He’s a pretty cute little baby, and he seems to enjoy the thrill of the steps. Who would want to deprive him of that?

Big steps, big day, big celebration! God is always full of surprises and blessings. I will count this one in the win column as a wonderful and special day! I hope yours has been just as wonderful!

God bless.

Tom+

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America…the land of the free, unless you are a baby trying to sleep!!

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Dear Lord, when did everyone and their brother get access to illegal fireworks???? It seems everyone in our neighborhood (but us) must have signed that affidavit swearing that even though they are buying illegal fireworks, they will only set them off in designated areas! Of course, no one knows where those areas are, or if they even really exist, but from the sound of it, most people consider it not just in our neighborhood, but on our street.

Unfortunately, for a one year old, that can be terrifying. After a couple of hours rocking with his mom, Ben was finally able to go to sleep. We do not expect him however, to last long. He will most likely finish the night off kicking the tar out of me in a room with tons of background noise to hide the explosions! Poor little guy. (it is 10:30 pm here right now and still going strong!)

We did however, want him to celebrate the fourth of July. Steph and Scott set off about 20 very legal fountains for him, which Steph labeled “lame.” But they were both good sports, and Scott even did a sparkler-laden rendition of Swan Lake in the backyard which Ben watched quite reluctantly from the porch. Steph refuses to be that much of a moron for her baby brother, or anyone, but Scott will do it all. In the end Ben enjoyed the show, and Amanda and I are mostly thankful that he will never have to remember such poor interpretive dancing. The therapy he’d need alone might cost millions.

For now however we will just pray that he can stay asleep, or if not asleep, that the militia will run out of their ammo! We all LOVE the 4th, don’t get me wrong, but Ben’s just a little guy, and he’s scared…..but more than that, he’s ours! With all our hearts, we just hope he can stay asleep through the rest of it!

So stay tuned, and please point your bottle rockets away from our house!!

God bless, and God bless this great country of ours as well!! Nite….or at least we hope!

Tom+

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A party to remember…….

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Today we celebrated Ben’s birthday with family and friends, though his birthday is really on Monday. It was a great time too. Ben had no clue as to why everyone was there. He was really quite puzzled as to why all the people were staring at him and singing, and he was even more confused as to why everyone would want to watch him eat cake. When he put his mouth down to his own personal birthday cake (it was pretty cute) everyone gasped with anticipation at the same time! It scared him to death, and he ended up crying before rediscovering the cake before him. Clearly he is my wife’s son…..she cries on her birthdays too!!

We also went down to Nashville for Church, and were traveling with Amanda’s mom and grandpa. It was a long day for everyone, and especially for Ben. He didn’t nap well because he didn’t want to miss anything, but it made for a cranky bedtime. He woke up pretty quickly and is now spending the night in our bed doing his usual routine…….loving up to his mom, and engaging with me in a territorial battle for the small space I occupy on the bed. I don’t mind, I will get him back later!

Anyway tomorrow is another big day! Thanks for checking in.

God bless.

Tom+

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Of hay, shots, and headaches……..

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As I sit here typing, I am reminded of the story about a traveling evangelist who went about place to place preaching and teaching. He went to one particular place to preach, a ranch, and instead of finding a whole bunch of cowboys, he instead found just one way out by a campfire on the plain. Even though the evangelist was disappointed there was only one cowboy there to preach to, he decided to share his entire sermon which it went over 45 minutes. After he was done, the cowboy looked completely overwhelmed. When he asked him why the cowboy said, “No offense sir, but sometimes I come out here with some hay to feed the cattle, but if I find only one cow I don’t make it eat an entire bale.”

I didn’t post at all this weekend because I indeed fed myself an entire bale, although that may huge UNDER-estimation on my part. This weekend our Bishop came to ordain a deacon (way to go Tony!) (the service was on Sunday) and he and a priest stayed at our house. It was great having them both here, but with so much going on, I just wondered how I did with everyone. It was more than I had done in months, and I really had to struggle hard to maintain concentration on all I was needing to concentrate on. I just don’t have a good sense of self-awareness right now! I just don’t want to insult anyone. Thank God they are both friends too, have a deep sense of concern for me and understanding.

We (our family) also had three open houses to stop in at for graduations this weekend. So there was even more going on than the church-stuff! But despite all the busyness, I knew I would make it, and I did! Yee ha!

Sure enough however, my long run is not quite over……this morning Amanda got very sick with a migraine and this afternoon I had to take her to get a shot. She of course has it A LOT worse than anyone else here in terms of condition. I know that for sure. It’s just that I am well past when I thought I would get some rest. And to make things worse, sadly, Mr. Ben is not being very helpful either. It amazes me that at almost 1 year old you never want to take a nap, while at 46 you want one all the time. And he and I just cannot seem to reach a happy medium. The important part though, and the blessing is, is that Amanda is unconscious and probably will remain that way until tomorrow due to the shot. It will take her a few days, but the shots do work, and she will get better….and we all thank God for that!

But the reality is that there will be no shot for me!! And I will be awake for quite some time. The bale this weekend and today already seemed pretty big, but clearly Ben thinks we need a little more hay.

No worries though, I intend to get through it and live a long and productive life………long enough for sure to make certain he gets what I know he needs…..a dad he can take care of! After all, what goes around comes around. And if I can’t give him that kind of hay, I am sure one day he will have a boy of his own!

Update: It looks like the graham cracker and bottle is working! Praise God!

Tom+

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Blessings are sometimes what they make of them!!!!

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Last night “Pizza and Movie Night” looked to be a blast. Everyone was ready, there was really nothing in our way……but unfortunately, two of us only partook of the pizza part. Ben decided rather quickly that he was not getting enough attention, which is something he is lately making a career of. So he decided to do what he does best…..he worked hard to entertain everyone. Unfortunately however for Ben, we all were really hoping to be entertained by the movie instead.

So after about 20 minutes of his giggling and attempting to get everyone’s attention, Ben and I departed the basement and went upstairs. He got a bottle, a new diaper, and a ride up to my bed with me where he could talk and giggle all he wanted. Actually, we had a blast. Amanda, Steph, and Scott may have seen a great movie, but I had a personal performance from a comedian who could actually make me laugh! It was a blessing in itself (and it was all mine!!)

And, as we lounged around laughing and playing between his bottle swigs, I wondered just how long he might go on. I soon got my answer. After a few more minutes Ben took one last drink, pitched his bottle to my side, then flipped over towards Amanda’s side of the bed where he promptly conked out! Another one of God’s blessing…perhaps even a MIRACLE! So I finished my night in quasi-solitude, reading and writing with his back toward me and an occasional baby snore….which is hilarious in itself.

As I said yesterday, I have great kids. And all and all it was a fun day. I thank God for the time I get to spend with each of them, though it sometimes, okay it often, doesn’t turn out exactly as I envisioned. They are still all blessings to me. And I would not want them to be any different! Yesterday was fun, and as for today, we intend to have a wonderful Saturday together.

I hope your Saturday is just as wonderful, and full of the marvelous blessings the Lord indeed provides!

God Bless!

Tom+