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America…the land of the free, unless you are a baby trying to sleep!!

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Dear Lord, when did everyone and their brother get access to illegal fireworks???? It seems everyone in our neighborhood (but us) must have signed that affidavit swearing that even though they are buying illegal fireworks, they will only set them off in designated areas! Of course, no one knows where those areas are, or if they even really exist, but from the sound of it, most people consider it not just in our neighborhood, but on our street.

Unfortunately, for a one year old, that can be terrifying. After a couple of hours rocking with his mom, Ben was finally able to go to sleep. We do not expect him however, to last long. He will most likely finish the night off kicking the tar out of me in a room with tons of background noise to hide the explosions! Poor little guy. (it is 10:30 pm here right now and still going strong!)

We did however, want him to celebrate the fourth of July. Steph and Scott set off about 20 very legal fountains for him, which Steph labeled “lame.” But they were both good sports, and Scott even did a sparkler-laden rendition of Swan Lake in the backyard which Ben watched quite reluctantly from the porch. Steph refuses to be that much of a moron for her baby brother, or anyone, but Scott will do it all. In the end Ben enjoyed the show, and Amanda and I are mostly thankful that he will never have to remember such poor interpretive dancing. The therapy he’d need alone might cost millions.

For now however we will just pray that he can stay asleep, or if not asleep, that the militia will run out of their ammo! We all LOVE the 4th, don’t get me wrong, but Ben’s just a little guy, and he’s scared…..but more than that, he’s ours! With all our hearts, we just hope he can stay asleep through the rest of it!

So stay tuned, and please point your bottle rockets away from our house!!

God bless, and God bless this great country of ours as well!! Nite….or at least we hope!

Tom+

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Of overcoming the challenges of life with (the help of) the Lord…….

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The scripture passage on our website today (which changes everyday) is from Philippians chapter 4, verse 13, which says “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” And this passage has a lot of meaning for me.

You know, I have had plenty of struggles in my life, and at times my life has been downright hard, if not miserable. But always, each and every time, I have been able to dig deep to my faith and know that despite life’s challenges, my feet were always on solid ground. In my own life I have had quite a few challenges too. I have had two pretty hard orthopedic surgeries with long rehabs and one with permanent impairment, and I have had a few personal challenges as well. But you know, in all of them, at least I had my mind.

But suddenly life has become a challenge like no other I have ever experienced, for in the midst of it the problem is now often my mind itself, for my injury, this time, is there. And now, when I get worried or afraid, or even down about my rehab, or have setbacks, I cannot even tell if my feet are on the ground or not. My mind reels now a lot of the time (which I understand is normal for stroke victims) but the surety I often could rationalize before, now often evades me.

But here’s my secret……..I really CAN DO everything through Him who gives me strength! And I am thankful for that because I know that without Him I would be severely lost! Because when my mind reels, if He were not there, there would seem to be no hope. But in truth, in our hardest times, and even in our darkest times, the Lord is ALWAYS with us giving us what we need to move ahead, even when we cannot see. I cannot tell you how very lost or even scared I feel at times, I really do, but it’s ALWAYS my faith that sees me through. I may be loopy, but I know I am never alone! And I know in the end I will be restored!

You know, I have spent my life listening to clergy talk about their faith….and often in lofty disconnected ways to the reality of my life. But I know all to well that sometimes life can be challenging, hard, and sometimes seemingly unfair. But I don’t ever want you to doubt that that the Lord walks with you in all of it and that He can give you strength! For I not only believe it, I live it EVERYDAY, and I hope that means something to you in your life.

If it sounds as if I am rambling today or disconnected, it may be because I am. Today has been a challenging day, particularly this afternoon and evening. But tomorrow is a new day and I know that the Lord will bring me to it. For in the times that I have not the strength, He ALWAYS will provide! And that’s not just for me, but for you too, and any who call upon His Name!

Give it a shot….if it works for me and my crippled mind, there’s no telling what He can do with your good one!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tom+

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Of fireworks, my porch, and God’s many blessings…….

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Well my back porch is getting more spectacular with each passing night, because now as I look off to the southeast, in the distance, I am seeing the fireworks being set off at Conner Prairie’s “Symphony on the Prairie.” I have been to it many times, but unfortunately not this year. And despite my attempts, I cannot remember any year watching it from my porch. But it is a great site from any direction I am sure.

It is suppose to rain tonight, so I am glad the fireworks went off before the storm. I love both fireworks and storms, but I cannot help but think of those hundreds of people on blankets out there in the field listening to the symphony and watching the fireworks, and what a mud pit it would be if it started to pour! It’s such a wonderful place and such a wonderful event. I am glad the rain will arrive post-show, and not ruin the night for anyone.

As for me, I have enjoyed tonight’s unexpected gift. It was a nice addition to a great day, and the perfect way to end the night. Tomorrow Father Chuck, Deacon PT and Deacon Dan and I are meeting in Nashville. We may have a big announcement about that meeting very soon! But even more than that, I am looking forward to getting together with them. We get together weekly, and I love it so much because they are among the finest people I know. (and no, I haven’t been drinking!) It is just a blessing to work with friends, and to love to do what you do! It is no wonder we are seeing such marvelous things happen in our ministry as a Church!

Say a prayer for us tomorrow for safe travel, and please enjoy your day. No, there is not much substance to this tonight, but quite frankly I believe the fireworks were a gift from God for my over-reeling mind. Sometimes you just need to sit back and relax. I am thankful for that opportunity tonight!

Say your prayers and enjoy a good night’s sleep! May tomorrow be a blessed day for us all!

Tom+

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Of polliwalks and sippy cups……..

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Oh my, times are a changing. Just like after Amanda and I married, I needed to learn a few new things, Ben now, on the occasion of his first birthday is suddenly “transitioning” (as she calls it) away from the bottle (yep, it’s been formula) to a sippy cup and from bare feet all the time to wearing shoes.

First of all, Ben has no clue. He loves his bottle, but he also likes sippy cups. Sippy cups to him are the things you can hold upside down and let liquid spill all over. Last night however we bought those “no drip” sippy cups. But the truth is he will probably still make a mess. He has been smarter than all those sippy cups we have given him with thus far. It will be interesting to see how he figures out how to dump everything out of these!

As for his feet, he just doesn’t like to wear shoes, despite how many we try to put on his feet. He will wear socks (as long as we are looking) but loves to pull them off more than anything and laugh at us. At the Babies-r-Us we found lots of shoes, but hardly any that will fit over his fat little feet. He is extremely ticklish, so it was a challenge. Trying to put anything on his feet is an adventure, and one that we were not winning there in the store.

But at my prompting, we did get Ben a pair of “Polliwalks.” Polliwalks look like some sort of amphibian, and are, I suppose, a knock off of those ever-popular “crocs.” The were pretty wide too, they looked great, AND he kept them on. They have little amphibian eyes on them too to scare away danger, but since he is not yet walking we will have plenty of time to find out how they work!

Anyway, he is enjoying his new things, and he is wearing the shoes……an amazing victory I must confess. Tomorrow however is a new day. If history is any teacher, I expect to pick up a couple of sticky polliwalks and empty sippy cups off the floor.

Nite and God bless!

Tom+

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Of flying cakes and birthday blessings…….

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I was hoping to resist doing another birthday post, but it was too funny to pass up. I started the day at 6am with a rousing version of Happy Birthday before getting Ben back to bed, and then went to speech therapy. It was a productive, but difficult session in that my headache is still pretty severe and it makes it hard to concentrate. But I got through it, and worked on a few other things throughout the day….particularly on a funeral I will be officiating at tomorrow.

Needless to say by late afternoon I was totally spent. We were going to some friends later, but I just did not have it in me, so we decided to just eat dinner, give Ben his real birthday cake, and call it a day, which in the end is what we did.

The birthday story comes from the cake. It was an eighth of a sheet, the smallest the store had, and we set it on Ben’s high chair for another round of Happy Birthday. After we cut ourselves a small piece, we let him have it. He laughed and put his hands in it, tasted it, and then suddenly kicked hard in a fit of joy which caused the entire tray and the cake to go flying…..that’s right, BOTH all over the floor! As quickly as that cake came into our lives it went, but it was probably of the Lord…..after all, none of us really needed any more sugar anyhow!

All and all, as I sit here typing I can see so many blessings in my life. Sure, I have some struggles and challenges, but really we all do in our own ways. The Lord does not promise us paradise, only His presence. And even though I deal with issues surrounding my stroke recovery they are nothing compared to the blessings I enjoy!

Three kids, sixteen, fifteen, and now one……..that’s a lot of blessing! I cannot imagine it being any better. Today, though exhausting, has been a great day.

I hope you, like me, have had a blessed day! Let’s make tomorrow one too!

God bless!

Tom+

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Of overloading circuts and blessed sleep……..

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I am sitting out on that back porch again with the cat. Amanda’s mom and grandpa have headed back to their hotel and will be leaving to return to Kansas in the morning. Everyone else is in bed. It’s dark and it’s quiet, a great way to end the day.

It’s been a very busy and very taxing weekend for me…….clearly way over the top of what I am capable of doing right now. I tried to not let it all overwhelm me, but occasionally I know it showed. At the third service today Father Chuck offered to step in (thanks God) and all I had to do was the sermon. It was a great relief……I was pretty frazzled! It was nice to then just get home where I collapsed into my bed for a 4 hour nap while Amanda, Ben, her mom, and grandpa hit a few stores. Sleep is what really cures stroke problems….and it was just the thing I needed too.

Tomorrow however, will be the start of another busy week. Monday is of course Ben’s real birthday, but since we celebrated it on Saturday we do not have a lot planned. We will do a small family thing, but beyond that not too much. I do have a funeral on Tuesday,a clergy meeting in Nashville Thursday, and a wedding Saturday, all connected with other meetings throughout the week in order to prepare for them. Hopefully with a slow and steady, but forward-moving pace it will all go well. I always feel I can do it, it’s just when my body and mind act up (particularly my mind) doing things becomes difficult. It is frustrating too, because in my mind I still feel like me! I should be able to do what I always have! (My wife would tell you that my brain never really did work quite right, so I shouldn’t be worried about it….but little did she know the level of genius that existed pre-stroke. After all, you don’t look like I do and get a wife like her!!)

Anyway, my body and mind are calling me back to sleep…..so that’s where I will head. Another day is behind me, and I will toss its struggles away. Tomorrow is a big day…..our little guy turns one! Problems can wait! It’s time to play and sing….and of course get my last bit of cake for the summer!

Night and God bless!

Tom+

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A party to remember…….

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Today we celebrated Ben’s birthday with family and friends, though his birthday is really on Monday. It was a great time too. Ben had no clue as to why everyone was there. He was really quite puzzled as to why all the people were staring at him and singing, and he was even more confused as to why everyone would want to watch him eat cake. When he put his mouth down to his own personal birthday cake (it was pretty cute) everyone gasped with anticipation at the same time! It scared him to death, and he ended up crying before rediscovering the cake before him. Clearly he is my wife’s son…..she cries on her birthdays too!!

We also went down to Nashville for Church, and were traveling with Amanda’s mom and grandpa. It was a long day for everyone, and especially for Ben. He didn’t nap well because he didn’t want to miss anything, but it made for a cranky bedtime. He woke up pretty quickly and is now spending the night in our bed doing his usual routine…….loving up to his mom, and engaging with me in a territorial battle for the small space I occupy on the bed. I don’t mind, I will get him back later!

Anyway tomorrow is another big day! Thanks for checking in.

God bless.

Tom+

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The return of the 10………

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Today the ten players we dropped off at Northwestern for the Best of the Best Lacrosse Camp returned, and it was easy to see their transformation. Last year the two who went, my Assistant Coach’s daughter Maddi and my daughter Stephanie, came back much better players, yet they said they felt like fish out of water there because everyone was so much better. What a difference a year makes! This year, the ten shared that they were “deeply disappointed” that they lost by one goal in the championship game of the camp session (how did they develop that much???) and our goalie who also went to the camp, Jessica (we call her a Rock Star in goal) was named the top goalie of the whole camp! We are seeing some amazing transformation right before our eyes and now they want to get out and practice SOON even though our regular season begins in March of 2009!

It’s so cool! In a day and age that we see so much confusion and angst among teens, it is refreshing to see such positive focus. I am relatively new to the sport of lacrosse only having been an Assistant Coach one year and a Head Coach this past year. But in all my years of coaching (which there have been many in other sports) I have not seen such quality athletes or such enthusiasm. If I could just get them to stop singing loudly in the van when we travel I would say they would be just about perfect. But if they keep playing well and getting better, I may just wear earplugs and count my blessings.

Anyway, that’s about it for my post today……I just wanted to give a plug as a proud father and coach. Tomorrow is the day we are celebrating Ben’s first birthday, so I have a bit of work to do. (His actual birthday is Monday) But I wanted to post before my wife put me to work as pre-party labor.

Goodnight….and God Bless.

Tom+

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Ode to St. Matthew’s in Nashville……well worth the trip!!

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Tonight Amanda, Scott, Ben and I drove down to Nashville for a meeting. It started out sunny and warm, but by the time we were south of Indianapolis, there were thunderstorm warnings, and two of them were crossing ahead of us on the highway we were on! It was one of those “grip the steering wheel tight” trips as I struggled at times to see the road. If everyone would have just cooperates, slowed down, and TURNED ON THEIR LIGHTS, the whole thing would have been a lot less stressful. Fortunately we, and everyone else we saw on the road, made it through the storm(s). And it was good for Scott to see such adverse conditions on just his 9th day of driving…..I was just thankful he was not behind the wheel (and so was he!)

Nashville is one of our favorite places in the world. We love going there! It is perhaps the most beautiful part of the state, and it is filled with some of the most hospitable people. Amanda and I got engaged there (perhaps it was the high altitude that made her say yes) and the kids love that little fudge shop in town.

Of course we planted a church there, not because we love it there, but because of its faithful people. St. Matthew’s may be the smallest of all our missions, but it always has the best attendance in terms of percentage of its membership. The people there are just highly committed, and they have a true appreciation for their Church and their faith. They are a blast to be around too!

Our meeting went well, as did our trip home. The trip home was much less eventful than the trip down. But all our trips to Nashville are well worth it! I hope you can get down there and see why. And, if you get the chance after a Saturday of shopping (and maybe even eating fudge) stop by and see the good people of St. Matthew’s. They are some of the finest people I know……….and after you meet them I am sure you will feel the same way!

I’m going back down to be with them this Saturday! Come join us!

God bless!

Fr. Tom+

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GAFcon and other theological ramblings…..

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For the last few days in Jerusalem, leaders of the orthodox-wing of the Anglican Church have been gathering at GAFcon (the Global Anglican Futures Conference) to discuss the crisis in our Communion. It is significant, in that it is a gathering of Godly people who are setting politics aside, in order to look at what it means to be faithful witnesses to Jesus in the midst of an Anglican expression.

Over the course of my entire life there has always been this draw to all things Anglican. People seemed to have such an unusual desire to be connected to the “Mother Church,” and things like the Royal Wedding, and the Archbishop of Canterbury. I of course was among them…..it was always a cool thing to be a part of a church with such a rich and wonderful heritage, and there seemed to be no downside to that connection.

But after I became a priest I saw the picture quite differently. The quaint history was still there, but the Church was far from faithful. It was inundated with politics and positioning, and infected with secularism to such an extent that I wondered if it was terminal.

The answer to that was not far off, for as I worked to reform the Church from within, as was both my right and responsibility as a priest, I found deep resistance mainly from my bishop and others who professed faithfulness. When my conscience led me to retire from active ministry within the Episcopal Church and seek out Godly bishops and ministry, I was charged and labeled (by the Church I retired from – the Episcopal Church) as unfit for ministry and as departing from the faith. It’s appalling! People are being led toward hell by the Church itself and by its so-called leaders, and many who profess to agree with me are too weak or too afraid to stand. I like so many others just must wipe the dust from my feet and in faith move on as called by Christ.

The leaders at GAFcon are discussing the very same thing. Archbishop Akinola knows the difference between following Jesus and following something else, and so do I. Sadly, too many people I know who profess the importance of an orthodox faith seem more focused on following tradition instead. The risks for me however, are too high.

Faith is serious business. We cannot just talk the talk, we also must walk the walk. The Bible tells us that you cannot serve two masters, yet too many people try.

In the words of Joshua, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” I can do no less, and I hope you do the same. Too much is counting on it.

Your choices in this life count. Make sure you make the good ones!

God Bless and keep the faith…….a real and meaningful one!!

Fr. Tom+