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Reflections on friendships and call………

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WOW, this is about the earliest I have been ready for bed without being sick in years! It is just about 9pm, and though Puddy and I have sat down to write, everything else is done, and we are well on our way to calling it a day.

Before we go however I wanted to share a little about my day. We had two services today, one at St. Patrick’s Noblesville,and the other at St. Anne’s in Anderson. Deacon Tony Bender delivered the sermon in both places, and he did a fantastic job (you can listen to it online at http://www.indianaanglican.com/) But what made it even more special was my longtime friendship with Tony. Back in the early 1980’s we were both active lay people in our Church, St. John’s Episcopal Church in Speedway, Indiana. And though I have heard Tony talk on a variety of occasions, as he spoke today I thought about that time many years ago. I believe that both Tony and I would tell you that even though we knew I was going to seminary, neither of us would have ever imagined being in the place we are now, let alone together in it. God’s Vision for our lives and ministries is often different from our own, and for Tony and I that has certainly been the case.

But as is the responsibility of every person, we are called by the Lord to follow His Vision and not our own, and I am thankful we did. We have lots to do and it is always a blessing to be able to do it with your friends. Tony, Chuck, Sean, PT, and even Dan, are all pretty good guys (most of the time) and loyal and dedicated friends. But more importantly, they all have good hearts and those hearts are dedicated to following the Lord. We, as a Church, are all blessed to have them, but I truly feel the most blessed of all, because I also can call them my friends!

Okay……..here is a delay update! Amanda needed to use my computer and accidentally erased this once, so in truth, though is may be the earliest I have been READY for bed, it certainly will not be the earliest I have gone! But tonight I am not upset by that, I just have a thankful heart. The Lord has blessed me by allowing me to do something I love….but even more than that, He has allowed me to do it with my friends!

Goodnight and God bless!

Fr. Tom+

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The ramblings of a mind quite thankful for its own pillow…….

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Well we are finally back from Akron, and I have to tell you, it is great to be home! Sadly however, both Ben and Steph have colds, which is unusual I suppose for August, but they seem to be getting along okay. AND TONIGHT I am not sitting in some hotel room, but am back out on my back porch listening to K-Love and hanging with Puddy the cat!!!! The only not so peaceful part is that my neighbors stereo is up so loud that you can hear it from space, let alone from 100 feet, but after I put on these headphones…..well then, everything was and is quite peaceful!! I really don’t want to give the impression that my neighbors and my neighborhood is a bad one. I know the stereo is loud tonight, but it is never really that loud normally, and all the fireworks I have complained about seem to have stopped. The Bible tells us to “love our neighbor” and I intend to! They are as they say where I grew up, “good people.”

Tomorrow we only have two services….one in Noblesville and the other in Anderson. It will be good to be there. It’s not that I don’t enjoy gathering with other Christians in our denomination, particularly at national events, it’s just that I am always more comfortable at home…..I suppose we all are. Dorothy was right, there’s no place like home, and I am quite thankful to be back at mine!

Amanda and her mom are talking in the living room, and I am certain they will outlast me. Amanda is a great co-pilot for long trips if you like a co-pilot who sleeps all the way. So she is well rested and they are catching up, and particularly talking about the genetic superiority of “Ben the Wonderful” I’d bet. I will join Ben in sleeping through that conversation, because I too am going to bed! I do have a bit I want to share, but am far to cloudy to write about it tonight. Please however keep Deacon Dan, his wife Merry Ann, and Father Sean in your prayers as they will be returning home from Akron tomorrow.

Once again, it is great to be home!! Keep the faith….it’s the most important thing you can do!! And may your day be filled with the most wonderful blessings! Nite!

Fr. Tom+

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Of Akron, of Councils and lack of brain cells…….

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This trip has been a surprisingly difficult one for me. The stress of too much going on, the lack or rest, and the need to have my brain sharp without the capability to do so has made this exhausting! Fortunately this is our last night here. Though it is great to be around such wonderful and committed people, many of who have been longtime friends, the need to sleep in my own bed and get back to my own life is clearly my heart’s desire.

All and all however the Council Meeting has been a success. Though I have been pushed a lot further than I felt comfortable with, I am surviving. The hard part is missing the kids, which we both do. I worry about them with grandma….after all, who needs all that smiling and being told how wonderful you are?? They are all having a great time, and whenever we do get back, though they will not admit it, I am sure they will feel deep down it was a little too soon!

It really doesn’t matter because we are coming home anyhow! I have to work Sunday, and really we all do! We are leaving Deacon Dan and his wife Merry Ann, along with Father Sean in Akron for Sunday services there so they can talk to people about our work in Indiana.

Anyway, it has been a long day and I am calling it quits! Sorry for the lack of substance or depth here tonight, but my mind is absent at this point.

Nite and God bless!

Fr. Tom+

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From Amanda in Akron……

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In Ephesians 6 lies a popular scripture verse regarding “putting on the full armor of God…”. I have heard this verse many times, and Tom has even preached sermons on the topic. Tonight I came across another reference to this same verse, but a different part of the verse stood out to me. In Ephesians 6:16, it follows with “In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one”. I was amused by the vision in my head of actual flaming arrows sailing around us constantly from Satan. If only it were that obvious! I’m certain that if the serpent in the Garden of Eden was firing flaming arrows at Eve as he was enticing her to eat the forbidden fruit, she would have made a different choice! If you are staring Right and Wrong in the face trying to make a choice in your life, and Wrong starts aiming straight for you with arrows ablaze, the choice for Right is pretty clear!

Sadly, though, life is not like this. The devil takes on many forms that seem so right in our critical moment of choice. Temptation, greed, dishonesty, adultery (the list goes on and on!) sound so awful to the ear. Anyone who speaks of them would adamantly state they obviously know these choices are wrong and sinful. The very words have a negative, foreboding tone. So why then is sin such a problem in our lives? Because sin is always laced with something that feels good or seems easier in the moment of choice. If you have made a mistake, it is easier to lie about it to another person because you don’t have to face shame and humiliation. We feel better about ourselves in that moment. But the crazy thing about sin is that it always comes with a nasty aftertaste!

I tried to re-think my day and look at it as though fiery arrows were around when the devil was at work near me. If they really existed, they would be everywhere! In the car with me as I become a frustrated driver, on the phone when I am curt with others, and at 116th and SR37 at the Dairy Queen when I hear a hot fudge sundae calling my name. Whatever forms Satan takes on in your life, allow yourself to see it as the flaming arrow intended to harm you, and recognize the right choices to make. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of changing your perspective and it will be easier to see what God wants us to see! God bless!

Amanda

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Of a trip in two separate wagons……..

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Tonight I am in Akron, Ohio awaiting the arrival of Amanda from Indiana. We are attending the CANA Convocation here in Ohio tomorrow through Saturday. Don’t worry….the kids are in great hands. My Mother-in-law flew in this afternoon, and is enjoying all three of them! They ate pizza tonight and were having a great time. Amanda is driving with Deacon Morgan’s wife Jewel, because Jewel had to work, and Amanda’s mom had to be picked up from the airport. Since I needed to be here earlier and we were driving tow cars anyhow, it just made sense to do it this way. Sadly, our wives never protested or complained! Go figure!

UPDATE: Amanda has arrived, and it is late! We start very early in the morning so it is off to bed! Please keep me in your prayers tomorrow as all the activity with hundreds of people will be hard for me to process….but day by day and with God’s help, I intend to do fine!

Nite my friends, and God bless!

Tom+

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Of good news and bad news………

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My mom’s doctors were worried that her seizure a few weeks ago was possibly a tumor, but we received word today that it is not the case. Though a relatively young woman, just 68, she has been in failing health for many years. She had to retire early and went into assisted living maybe about 10 years ago, and has been in a nursing home for about the last five. I am her last living child since my sisters Stephanie and Sarah died in 2001 and 2004 respectively. But clearly, and my mom would tell you this, I am the least suited to take care of her. We have had a rocky relationship all our lives, yet we are stuck with each other! Fortunately we can laugh at it, and do our best.

My mom is either sharp or confused, and never in between. She is pretty funny when she is sharp, but hard to deal with otherwise. She is diabetic, yet never watches her sugar, and has smoked, as she will confess, since she was 12. She frustrates me by her lack of concern for her health, yet I continue to make sure she is taken care of. The Bible says to honor your parents…….and though she often makes it hard, I will comply.

A few weeks ago my mom began telling everyone she had a brain tumor, which when they ordered the MRI seemed as if it were a possible episode of the Twilight Zone. She still tells everyone she does, and describes a visit with a doctor who told her about it in great detail, yet it never really happened. I have told her that, and told her there is no tumor, and will do so again tomorrow. What I will not tell her is what the doctor told me……..my mom has Alzheimer’s Disease, and this may just be par for the course.

My mom will not notice the difference in her care, or in her world at all. There is however, a difference in me. My frustrations with her for years have clearly been unwarranted, and for them I am sorry. She frustrated my sisters too, yet I am sure they have known all this for years and if they could tell me I am certain they decided not to, knowing I could suffer later instead! Sisters can be cruel! (of course not my sister Anna, she is saint…as long as you don’t ask my brother Mike!)

But I ask that you keep my mom in your prayers…..her name is Kay Tirman. Her road, though it has been difficult, will get better, and I will do my best, as I have been, to make sure she is cared for.

Okay, this day has come to an end! Goodnite my friends and keep the faith!

Tom+

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Of Church and Organized Religion…………

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If there is one thing I have always hated about the Church it is the politics. When I was a kid I was quite sheltered from it, but as an adult, and particularly as a priest, I see it all the time! I often ask unchurched people I meet why they don’t go to Church, and am often given the response “because I hate organized religion.” My response to them, without variation or reservation is, “well so do I!”

I think that is part of why we have been pretty successful in the planting of Churches over these last 19 months…..because we have worked hard to not be like other Churches and we have changed our DNA. As a Church are not meant to be an “organization,” we are meant to be a CHURCH. We are the people of God gathered together to build up the Body of Christ in our world. We are to pray, heal, teach, preach, show compassion and mercy, and quite a few other things I would be able to remember if I had a whole mind. But too often churches become “who’s who’s,” and more concerned about monies, budgets, and buildings over Jesus and the people He came to save.

I believe with my whole heart we do not have to follow the bad road (though churches have done it for centuries). Where I have to have a Masters degree to be a priest (and I even have a Doctoral degree) the original disciples were uneducated fishermen and tax collectors among other things. They didn’t form task forces, long range financial plans, nor did they lock their progress up in committees or slow it down in politics. They loved the Lord, they cared for people, and they faithfully walked forward trying to fulfill mission over structure. They never intended to form “organized religion.” They only intended to serve the Lord.

Perhaps this world would be a better place if we hadn’t lost sight of that…..but more than that, perhaps it still can be if we regain that sight. We’re trying here, and I invite you to come join us.

Okay, off of my soapbox and off to bed! Goodnight my friends, and remember, your relationship with God is not about a Church, but about you……and your heart.

Fr. Tom+

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Of the unintentional path to snoozyland…….

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Today has been a difficult day. I did way too much over the weekend, and experienced a lot of problems, particularly today. BUT, as I came into the house finally this afternoon at three and sat down to watch a little TV, my body took over……it was suddenly 7, and though I had no intention of having that happen, it was a welcome break!

I think Amanda can tell I have been struggling. She has written a few blogs for me, and I know she still would, but I want to not just dive into the safety net every time I struggle. Even without a stroke, life isn’t always easy, and I believe it really can destroy your sense of direction, and even your self-worth, if you too often take the escape routes every time something gets hard. Clearly my life is very challenging now, but if I don’t engage it, I know I will regret it later. And though it is often harder to take the path I am on, in the end I believe it is all worth it….just like the Robert Frost poem!

I know I often talk about my stroke and my struggles with it, but that’s because it is constantly in front of me. If you spend time with me, you may not see it at all, but I see it all the time. I really don’t mean to have it dominate anything I write about or talk about, but my dealing with it is part of how they say I get better. My expectations for myself are very high, yet my progress with it is way too slow (for me at least). Hopefully in time I will not think about it, or see it before me at all.

Until then, I suppose you will have to deal with me……part of your hard and uneasy path I am sure. But for now me and my struggles are going to head to bed, for intentional naps are far better than the non-intentional ones. And I am looking forward to a restful night and a peaceful end to this exhausting weekend!

Keep the faith my friends!

Tom+

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Of long days and the priests who do them…….

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Today was a day WAY BEYOND what I was capable of doing, and though I have made it to the end, I do have to say I am exhausted!

We began the day in Greenfield where we collected food for the Hancock County Food Pantry. It was hot, though not unbearable. But being out in the Wal-Mart parking lot in black pants, black shoes, and a black shirt can make it a lot hotter than it really is! The good news is that we collected a lot of food, people were very friendly, and we had a pretty good time. You know you can go places all over the state and see sports teams, or Red Hat ladies, or even motorcycle clubs, and not think a thing of it…..but seeing 5 clergy out in a Wal-Mart lot collecting food was truly a eye-catcher!

From Greenfield I drove back to Noblesville to get my family, and we then headed down to Nashville. We did some work on the new facility there before heading to our final service at the Brown County Vineyard Church. It was bittersweet to leave. Sure, we are excited about moving to a new facility, but the Vineyard Church has been very good to us and they are very dedicated and gracious Christians. We appreciate all they have done for us and for supporting us as we were growing our Church. We will certainly keep them in our prayers, and we hope you do too…..they are fine people, who do the Lord’s Work!

Father Sean was at everything today too! I hope we do not send him to an early grave, because he looked exhausted! We were following each other on the Interstate heading home from Nashville, and as we were passing Franklin, Amanda and I thought it would be helpful to see if Sean wanted to just stay at our home tonight rather than heading up to Muncie. He has to be back here in Noblesville at 8am anyway! He was happy for the invitation, and it will buy him a couple extra hours sleep! Since he is doing the sermon at all our missions this weekend, the extra rest will be very helpful!

We have been letting Fr. Sean do all the services with me assisting him as he learns our model these past few weeks, but tonight I celebrated the Eucharist in Nashville. It surprised me, in that I clearly can’t just hop into it like before. To me it seemed very awkward. I got through it, but could tell I have lost a lot, in terms of my ability. Things like that frustrate me too, and they even scare me a bit, but I rationalized that if I would do the service every week, I might not struggle. It is like what they teach in speech therapy….practice, practice, practice. You relearn and get around a stroke. But if you stop learning or practicing, it can bite you in the rear……at least it does (and did) with me! I hope to not forget that learning…..but I probably will! I forget everything!

Anyway, things seem to have settled down tonight and it is now just about 11pm! (I think these things post on Pacific Time) So I will call it a night and God Willing wake up to a new day full of new opportunities! As I said, I am exhausted, but I am thankful to make it through such a busy day. I do feel I am getting more stamina……..now if I can just muster up some brain cells and some memory!

Nite….and God bless.

Fr. Tom+

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Of telephone, gossip, and faith…..by Amanda

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Have you ever played the game “Telephone” or “Gossip”? I have heard it referred to as both names, but it is essentially the same game. I remember learning it in elementary school where it was used to teach our class a lesson on spreading rumors. It is also used in some team building workshops to understand about the power of ineffective communication. Regardless the reason for playing the game, the message is the same….the more people you put between the person giving and receiving the message, the more chances there are to mix up the message. Sometimes so many of the words are changed by the end of the communication line that the entire intent of the message has changed drastically.

I find the lesson of the Telephone game to have a lot of application in my life of faith as well. The only way to never misunderstand what God is telling us is to receive it directly from Him. Too often, we have put other people or things in the way of that message and allow it to be distorted. Dave Ramsey makes a great reference to this when he says in his Financial Peace University lesson “If you find a pre-approved credit card offer in your mailbox, it does not mean that God has answered your prayers and you can go buy the new boat you have your eye on!” With a much better sense of humor that I have, he is saying the same thing…our guidance on what to do, how to live, who to be and where to go in life only come from one place…the word of God. And that message has to come directly from Him in accordance with His word.

So if the message you believe you are receiving from God does not come directly from Him, or is in conflict with His word, then it is a good idea to ask again. Keep your relationship with the Lord personal and deep so that you are able to hear what he is saying to you. Don’t allow others to filter the message for you….hear it from His heart to your ears. God bless!

Amanda