Oh those dwarfs……Stephy, Scotty, Mandy, the little monster, and Sleepy Doc……..

Today I had a follow-up MRI. MRI’s are not that difficult for me anymore, particularly since I am extremely claustrophobic and they Xanax me up to take them. I seem to always be awake for the test. I suppose even the power of the pill can’t take away the underlying reality of what you are going through. But afterwards everything catches up and sleep ends up getting the best of you. Not that I mind……I enjoy sleep. But I spent the first hour of that time trying to convince Ben that he did too when he apparently did not. The old, “Come on Ben, daddy is tired. Just lay down and take a nap with me,” fell on deaf ears. I am not his sleeping buddy, I am his jungle gym. So Ben had to head to his room alone!

The good news is that they are not expecting to see anything unusual on this MRI other than to compare it to my first one. I have had problems and struggles that really should not be there, and this test will give a baseline of right now. I will go back to a different neurologist tomorrow to talk about some of these other struggles, and hopefully we can get them all worked out sometime soon.

But tonight, though quite tired, I am finishing this up on the back porch with “Jenny” our oldest female Golden. This explains why the cat is not out here with me…..she is not too fond of the dog invading her space. Right now however, we are not too fond of the dog invading ours. You see, last night Jenny got out into the corn field behind our house and found some “fertilizer” that the farmers put on their field and rolled all over it. And though I know she feels quite attractive, all polls indicate that she is dead wrong. She is still kenneled out here on the porch until her bath in the yard in the morning. Typing out here, though quiet, is a lot harder. She is a cutie, but only if you do not breathe.

So with that, I am off to “cleaner pastures.” I will keep everyone up to date with the results and progress like always, but I do appreciate your prayers.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless…….

Tom+

The looming sound of a steak knife…..but the question is who’s?????

It has been a busy week so far, and sadly it is just Tuesday. Our weekly clergy meeting is moving to tomorrow to accommodate an MRI and a doctor’s appointment for me to hopefully put this long drawn out mess behind me. So tonight Puddy and I will write and then I will head to the Kroger to pick up lunch for tomorrow. Our clergy team does not have a “team-mom,” so they just have to deal with what I get.

I will say we are coming up on not just the anniversary of Deacon Dan and Deacon Morgan’s ordinations, but also the finish line of a bet we made last year…..who would lose the most weight by September 29, 2009. The prize is pretty twisted considering the bet….it’s a fattening steak dinner! But surprisingly we all seem to be leaning toward continuing it for another year. All three of us have been down and up, and though we are better than we were, we all would like to be better than we are.

I guess the point is that though clergy are often put up on that pedestal, even we have real life struggles and problems just like everyone else. Our jobs are long and hard, and they often are sown deeply with the seeds of stress. And when you travel and cannot always be around a healthy meal, convenience is not always your friend.

In a couple of weeks, Deacon Morgan and I will be walking and then officiating at a service for the American Diabetes Walk in Indianapolis. We are taking pledges for our walk, and do it because it is a good cause. My mom is in a nursing home (initially) because of it, and my grandfather had it as well. Being better with our personal struggles will help us avoid it ourselves! Your prayers would be appreciated, as well as your support for the walk. And of course, if Dan or PT decided to not put off the bet, your prayers for me to win it are welcome as well!

Seriously, and in truth, the Lord wants us to be healthy in body, mind, AND spirit. The Bible tells us that the body is actually the temple of the Spirit, so we should all do our best to take care of it.

Tonight I am doing my part. Though the cat is eating bugs, I am drinking a diet soda. Hopefully I can continue to move down a healthy path.

Anyway, off to the Kroger I go! Pray for a healthy mind and choices at the store!

Goodnight my friends and God bless.

Fr. Tom+

No proof needed…..God exists….

I am a classically trained priest, and even my undergrad degree is in Religion. And as I have studied, I have found there to be many different arguments for the existence of God….arguments from design, moral arguments, arguments from miracles, and even arguments from the religious experience of rational people.

But how about the most compelling argument to date……the Chicago Cubs have clinched their division and will be heading to the playoffs, which they will win on their way to winning a World Series in October. As a life-long Cubs fan, and therefore a perpetual loser and perennially depressed during baseball season, this has clearly caught my attention. Could it be that after 47 years and 48 if you count my time in the womb, that the Lord has indeed finally decided to answer my prayers? That’s what I am thinking (no, not that I am nuts, but that the Lord is finally taking the Cubs out of the wilderness!)

My friends, I grew up a Cubs and Bears fan…..it was part of my heritage and though I wrote about the wedding I did yesterday, I knew I would write on this as soon as I could. Pray for me and my beloved Cubs (and Scotty’s Cubs too….and Ben’s though he does not yet know it). We have a few games to win before popping the cork on the old champagne (and sparkling apple juice for the kids) BUT at least we are finally there!

The following are the words to a hymn where I come from….I hope you find them as moving as I do.

Baseball season’s underway
Well you better get ready for a brand new day.
Hey, Chicago, what do you say
The Cubs are gonna win today.
They’re singing …
Go, Cubs, go Go, Cubs, go
Hey, Chicago, what do you say
The Cubs are gonna win today.
Go, Cubs, go Go, Cubs, go
Hey, Chicago, what do you say
The Cubs are gonna win today.
They got the power, they got the speed
To be the best in the National League
Well this is the year and Cubs are real
So come on down to Wrigley Field
We’re singing now …
Go, Cubs, go Go, Cubs, go
Hey, Chicago, what do you say
The Cubs are gonna win today.
Go, Cubs, go Go, Cubs, go
Hey, Chicago, what do you say
The Cubs are gonna win today.
Baseball time is here again
You can catch it all on WGN
So stamp you feet and clap your hands
Chicago Cubs got the greatest fans.
You’re singing now …
Go, Cubs, go Go, Cubs, go
Hey, Chicago, what do you say
The Cubs are gonna win today.
Go, Cubs, go Go, Cubs, go
Hey, Chicago, what do you say
The Cubs are gonna win today

AMEN!!!

Fr. Tom+

Of weddings, of friends, and of marriage…….

What a glorious day! I had the opportunity to marry two of my friends this afternoon at a ceremony at their home on the lake. It was a great blessing to see them so happy, and a real privilege for us all to be able to be a part. Shelly and Eric are a wonderful couple and clearly a couple the Lord has brought together. I am certain He has great plans for them both in the future as well.

Weddings are always such a blessing. It is a time to gather with family and friends before God and ask His blessing upon the couple. Their relationship at that point changes…..as the Bible says, the two become one flesh. The enter two people, and leave husband and wife.

What we know in this day and age however is that too many people make the wedding the big thing rather than the marriage itself. The wedding is just the event…..the marriage is to last a lifetime! Even right now, though they may look the same and feel the same about each other as they did at 4:30, in fact things have changed and are changing! People in marriage become something new, and when they realize that and take the very One who brought them together along in that new relationship, what they find is that blessings abound even more!

Congratulations this day to my good friends Shelly and Eric Wetzel! Thanks for letting me be a part of your lives and your special day! May your marriage be a blessing to you and to your family. And may all marriages grow and be strengthened by the Lord Himself, who calls men and women together to be one in His Name!

God bless you my friends!

Fr. Tom+

Of the struggles of diet and recovery…..

It seems as if some days I do quite well, only to spoil it at the end! Tonight for instance, I stayed with my diet till about 9pm and then blew it with a vengeance! Why? I do not know.

But today has been an odd day all around. I slept until noon, though I was up at 6 like normal, intending to start the day. This stupid recovery irritates me at times! I really missed out on six hours that I could have used, yet all the work I have gets to be moved elsewhere and that just adds to stress! It is probably a contributing factor to the blowing of my diet, yet my prayer each day is for the Lord to just help me get through each day sensibly! Perhaps tomorrow He and I can do a better job!

But now it is 9:30, and Ben is in bed, the kids are at the ballgame and nine and one half hours appears to be enough! Keep me in your prayers though. I have a meeting at 8:30 tomorrow and then a wedding at 4:30 (plus a few sermons to complete). I feel like I have a handle on it now, but of course my body may have other ideas! Let’s hope not though! God willing, I will end tomorrow accomplishing a lot and accomplishing it all successfully! The meeting is not as vital, but I would hope to not goof up a wedding!!! Who wants to end up on America’s Funniest Videos anyhow?

So off to bed I go! My 75% success rate today body and I hope to get some sleep! Maybe tomorrow I can keep my hand on the wheel the entire day. It would be nice……everyone deserves a victory when they can get one!

Goodnight my friends, and God Bless!

Tom+

Not children of the corn, but corn of the children……..

I really was expecting Amanda to be writing this blog tonight, but as I went up and picked up the laptop next to her sleeping, I noticed it was not there. So I guess I am on my own! I do not fault her one bit either. She said she would, but I also knew she was not feeling well. She has a pretty good excuse!

So it is now quite late, and I am once again typing. I am certain if it were earlier I might be able to conjure up something quite spectacular or even profound. But tonight we will just need to go with what we get.

I was out for a bit tonight and did a lot of driving on my way through the country. Driving through tall fields of corn on both sides of the road is something that really reminds me of home. I know that people often define home as where they live, but I also define it as where I grew up. My hometown, though it still exists, has clearly disappeared from how I knew it. Mishawaka, Indiana was a small town when I grew up, but now it must be ten times as large. And Goshen, where I spent many a weekend and summers with my grandparents has changed a lot too. Progress and development doesn’t always mean what people sometimes think it means. I valued where I grew up, and I still do……but progress and development have made those two great places disappear from how I knew them. To me, it is a sad tale.

But when I get out on a country road and drive through the corn I feel pretty good. I roll my windows down and don’t just take in the sights, but also the sounds and the smells. It takes me back to a very important time. And though I have no regrets about where I am at now, the feelings that well up in me as I reminisce on these drives, do my present day self a whole lot of good. They not only give me a glimpse of my past, but they give me a real shot in the arm too. They are truly a gift from God.

I am pretty tired and will go to bed, but I am hoping for a dream about running out in the corn like we did as kids! Those were such great times. And dreaming may be the only way I get to do that again.

My wife has made it clear…….she doesn’t like it when I act like a lunatic!

Night my friends and God Bless!

Tom+

Of Eagle Eyes and Crow Realities……..

I have only been wearing glasses a couple of years. I remember complaining to Amanda about vision problems and headaches, and she was the one who prompted me (despite my protests) to go see if I needed glasses. I did.

Even at the optometrist however, I was in denial. I remember the “age talk” and how insulting it was to be categorized into this age group that was struggling with vision. I also remember him talking about needing bifocals “in a few years.” That totally irritated me! After all, I had “eagle-eye” vision.

Well of course me and my eagle-eye vision came how with glasses that week (two years ago from this week in fact) and those glasses only lasted a little over a year. Yep, sure enough my eyes got worse, and sure enough I needed those bifocals sooner than later, and yep, sure enough I have not handled it well either.

I am wearing them now as I type, and it does make a difference. Stupid doctors! I hate it that they were right, but I thank God that I can see better.

Things in life are always better in focus, and I suppose that can be a sermon for another day. But for today, I will just sign off and say goodnight! My hope and prayer is that God brings you many blessings in the coming days!

Peace and God bless!

Fr. Tom+

Trying to get things right………

It’s a little before 8 pm and Puddy and I are out on the porch preparing to write. It has been a day of ups and downs. Part of the day I was doing well, another part I was out (like needing sleep), and another I was in a bit of a haze. I shared a story about yesterday with Deacon Dan Conley tonight. Apparently last night I was going to retire (to bed) early. I was just finishing up something when I read that Cindy McCain, who is just a few years older than I am, also suffered a stroke (hers in 1994) for which she still has some trouble. I remember telling Amanda I was going to look it up downstairs and then the next thing I know it is 3:45 am and I am sitting in a chair watching C-Span! I must of had another stroke! What a loon I am sometimes! The sad part is that I have no recollection of much other than the conversation with Amanda and then waking up in the chair! Go figure. I guess I better change that doctor appointment with my neurologist next Monday to the entire afternoon!

But, as I am happy to share, this is not the first time I have been stupid in my life….it’s just the first time I have been able to blame it on something other than poor judgement! The good news is that I am still in the game, and still have every intention and desire to improve my condition. I know the doctors said that at 6 months I would probably be where I will be at permanently, so with just a little less than a month to go, I can say without reservation that I am glad I cannot do math!! Life is looking to be a bot confused!

BUT, life needs to be put in perspective too. I have had a stroke. Many others have had them too who are far worse than me. I am surrounded by wonderful competent clergy who have stepped forward in faith and made what we are doing far better than had I just continued on and never had a stroke. Their stepping forward has opened up remarkable blessings to us all. (Sure, when I was in my right mind I was probably going to fire them all, but thank God for this brain damage!)

But more than that, I have sat at the feet of two of my sisters who entered eternal life far too soon. (Steph in 2001 and Sarah in 2004…both of cancer) Not everyone can give you this perspective, but I am confident that my brother Mike and my sister Anna would tell you the same as I will now. Our sisters Steph and Sarah had it bad, yet even with cancer, they focused on other people. They were always concerned for you and others, and though they knew what was happening, they also were confident about where they were heading.

You know, I cannot see them any longer, but in truth, in my condition I am just forgetful and confused….they had major problems to deal with. Cancer took them both, yet I still have time here left. They were in pain, I am just a pain. They suffered every day, I don’t know what I do half the time, but I am not suffering.

If there is one thing that Steph and Sarah both taught me it was to live every day. I am not depressed about my condition, though it often frustrates me. I am just going to live with what I have. Even in something like this, we are not called to look inward, we are called to look outward and serve other people.

I am sorry I write so often about what I deal with, but the reason I started to blog was because it was therapeutic for me. That part indeed works, but what I do not want to appear is whiny! It really is not about me! My sisters would kill me if I really got like that! And I have this great confience that I will see them again!!!

Do me a favor and send me some comments on this blog! Let me know that you read it and how you are doing! Life is too short to not care for each other, and as for me…..I want to keep it in the proper perspective.

Goodnight and God Bless!

Tommy+

An early post while conscious………

I am out on the back porch early tonight because I am on the edge of needing to sleep again. It concerns me, in that I want to be doing better, yet it seems each time I turn around I am taking steps backward. My daughter shared with some friends the other day that she thought I was not doing all that well (and yes, I am worried that I may have already shared that in an earlier blog), but it is on my mind.

I go the the neurologist a week from today, and Amanda is sending a note of all that she is seeing in terms of my recovery. I am willing to be more than honest with him, but I know that what you get from me really depends on the kind of day I am having. I want to make sure he has all the right information. I would hate to be put out to pasture so soon!

On the upside, I am really excited about the prospect of heading to bed early!! It amazes me how Ben throws a fit every time we make him take a nap, but I beg for the opportunity! Little does he know how very wonderful they are! He just spends most of his time playing and chasing the cat. It’s good work if you can get it.

As for me, I am just trying to make my way. Though my sermon was hard to write last week, I am already working on the next one. I am trying to read a lot to push my mind and I hope that the Lord can decipher my fragmented and confused prayers. I am thankful for my faith, and for the things I am able to do…..I just keep praying to do them better!!

Anyway, farewell from the back porch for tonight. I am out here alone, because it’s early. The cat normally sleeps 23 hours a day and saves the one hour to be out here with me for a little later in the night apparently. But I am sure she will join me tomorrow.

Keep the faith my friends, it’s worth it…..and God Bless.

Tom+