I suppose that one of the blessings of a 2 month disappearance is the availability of 2 months worth of gratuitous pictures of my children that I can share.  Tonight’s is of last week’s MRI to see if having a headache for two months was significant……it wasn’t, I am fine (although I still have a headache).

But despite the headache and blurred vision, I still have taken the time to read quite a bit of my favorite theologian, Archbishop Fulton Sheen.  He and I have some things in common……we both serve the Church, we both draw poorly, and we both are from the Midwest.  But over these past few months as I have read him, I am feeling quite certain that I can blame him for much of this unsettledness.

I do have to say that I was telling my dad about reading him, and my dad asked, “Bishop Sheen?” Apparently he and my Great Grandfather “Pop” Tirman were good friends and frequently had lunch together on Tuesdays.  I knew Pop, but not the good Bishop, however as my dad talked I could see them being drawn together.  It just made sense.

But I am no name-dropper. I don’t even know anyone famous, and if I did, I would probably not be too impressed.  People are people, the rich and the poor, the famous and not famous, the young and the old……all created by the same God in His own image.  That’s why we cover every casket with a white pall.  It doesn’t matter who you are, we are all the same in God’s eyes.  It is a lesson we would do well to learn.

Anyway, no tumor, evidence of my stroke, but no mention of my marvelous brain.  The tech may have told me about it, but I was all Valiumed up as I am HIGHLY CLAUSTROPHOBIC.  But the good news is no one kept me and I can still get out of bed by myself, which was a restriction the last time.

But keep me in your prayers………..I am heading towards something better….I can feel it.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

No, this picture is NOT related to my post but it is of Ben’s cast as he broke his are and wrist as his strength “just gave out” on the monkey bars at school.  Surgery and 2 pins will have him back to as normal as he ever is by mid-October.

But in case you have been paying attention, yes, after close to 1700 CONSECUTIVE POSTS since my stroke, I dropped off the face of the earth, at least in terms of this blog.  And yes, there was good reason to do so, as parts of my life had gotten a bit too tumultuous and seemed to demand my attention.  It has been a hard year for me, parts of it devastating, yet despite all that it has been, I know there are much better days to come.

They (and when I say “they” I have no idea what I mean) say you cannot keep a good man down, but I really do not consider myself all that good, and I think “they” also fail to take into account Bobby Darin’s observations about Louie Miller (ask someone over 60).  But nonetheless, the reports of my demise have been severely exaggerated, and I have ever intention to continue on.  I DO INTEND to blog for a few more days and then take about a month off to re-center myself, before striking back out (please note the work BACK is in there) at life and my blog.

Part of what I want you to understand is that NO, I have not had some sort of breakdown or midlife crisis (especially not the later as I am just 52 and intend to live to at least 150 to be a burden on my children), but my faith and mind have led me to consider just how it is I am called to finish the race. (ask someone who reads St. Paul)

When we formed into an Order a few years back and I was elected Superior, my life and ministry had already changed quite dramatically.  At the start of planting churches after retiring from ministry in the Episcopal Church, I would preach and celebrate everywhere and every weekend, traveling an amazing amount of miles each week.  Now some 7 years and many churches later, I still travel, but generally to one per week.  There are Vicars (priests in charge) in all of the churches, and I am less integral to the congregations and more integral to the clergy and the members of the Order.  I still am in charge of the congregations we keep under the Order, but am seen more as a visitor than the pastor.  (like when your grandparents would come and visit….still family, but different).  It makes me often feel as if I don’t have a real home, yet I am always reminded of the words of our Lord who said “What should I do with Tom Tirman.”

In truth, I see all this as part of God’s plan for me.  I was born into the Episcopal Church and ordained in it over 25 years ago, but I never thought I would leave it.  And I didn’t, what I discovered  however was that it left me and the faith delivered to the Saints.  I was still called and followed.  God has blessed this and brought me and many people to this new place, but I can see His Hand moving and changing it still, particularly in me.

And sometimes the most important changes are the scariest.  They certainly cause the most tension and anxiety, and that has been evident in me.  I of course could say “Lord, I am not going to Nineveh,” and perhaps He would provide me a shady plant for a season to rest.  (see Jonah 4) But in all reality I am convinced that He is calling me to where he wants me…..into something deeper.

No, I am not retiring, and no I am not walking away from the Order, my position, or my parishes……but what I am doing is taking some time to be open to let the answers come to me rather than trying to control it all myself.  It’s hard to do for me, but I think God is sending something to take down my shady plant.

So I will be posting today through Tuesday and then taking a sabbatical.  Blogging was never about a record or consecutive posts, but about me and my own prescribed post-stroke therapy.  It has been helpful and has worked, but the intention was never to build it into an empire.  I have had A LOT of followers, and very dedicated ones at that….thank you, but as a “former” athlete and long time coach, I need to remain “coachable,” and I believe that this is part of that process.

So I would ask that you would pray for me as I move ahead as I pray for all who read this.  Good fruit doesn’t always show immediately, and my hope and prayer is that with a bit of pruning and a faithful walk, the best fruits of my life and ministry are yet to come!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Well, although we have accomplished plenty over the last few weeks here at the house, waterproofing is not yet one of them.  You CAN SEE the floor that the dog is sacked out on, which is what was UNDER all the carpet upstairs that Steph, Amanda, and I ripped out.  Before Steph leaves we will sand and finish it, but even before that I need to make sure the other projects (especially waterproofing) are done.  I am beyond tired.

But truthfully, I am beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel.  A short time ago I used to believe it was a train, now however I believe it is my RETIREMENT.  I am watching my mother-in-law play with grand kids and many of my high school and college classmates doing the same as well.  And I have decided, without any regret, that I personally would be ideally suited for such work.

Ideally of course, it would be the best to be Viper.  He sleeps all day, and when he is not he is eating or having someone scratch his back.  He DOES work as a stud dog, which also seems to be a job he does not seem to mind.  But my point is that his life is pretty sweet.

But for now I will take his advice and call it a day and relax….I deserve it.  Of course in the morning right after being let out and getting a “cookie” he will look at me and call it a day for himself then.  Yes, I both admire and respect him.  He is pretty comfortable with himself!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

I had time to mow my lawn tonight, but more than that, I had the distinct pleasure of mowing my lawn with the Lone Ranger at the wheel.  Of course everyone in our neighborhood recognized him and in my dreams I was praying for them to all say something like “And hi Tonto” to me, yet all I heard was “Good driving Curly Joe.”  So this is to say I must have looked out of character…….and whenever someone mistakes me for Curly, I take that as a compliment as I am a big fan of him….he is a comedic genius!!

But the cool part of my time was mowing with the real Lone Ranger.  And although I have not seen the movie, nor as a purist will I, I am betting that the Lone Ranger who was mowing with me was probably Clayton Moore approved, and quite honestly I can more than live with that.

And the yard looks great, even though it took twice the time to mow.  And hopefully, someday in the not so distant future it will be the Lone Ranger’s job alone (as soon as he can reach the pedals) but for now I will share these duties or do it alone.

Tonight however has been one of the days it has been great to be a dad.  I will not tell you why as to protect someones secret identity.  But I will say the extra time was well worth it.  Our Silver was orange and mowing far less exciting than fighting evildoers…….but it was fulfilling all the same.

I love being a dad, and I am sure if I live long enough I will love being a grandparent too.  The latter I am sure is what I was made for as I have spent a lifetime of living with my delusional children, and believe I was designed by God Himself to be the one to hang out and spoil the children He gives to torture them!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Well, well, well……no, not in a wishing well kind of thing, as I already have thrown away enough money in my life to understand that tossing it into a hole with water that I do not believe in has never gotten anyone anywhere, but I do mean well in terms of with my soul.  And that might surprise you as Everdry is still not finished with my house and is now digging up multiple well sized holes around my foundation.  (Fortunately I had already thrown that money away).

But I have a great sense of peace in that this too will pass.  I will have my basement finished (hopefully before I die) and we are trying to file charges (criminal – fraud) against this company as well as we will be suing them for damages to our home.  I however can get worked up about all that and be miserable, or just take a deep breath and hook my washer and dryer back up for the umpteenth (but final) time and pour me a nightcap.  And I will choose the latter.

And then on anther front, since I was stuck here yet again today, I spent 2 hours on the phone with Linksys about my “wireless bridge.”  No, this is not like Mackinaw, it is an electronic thing that connects EVERYTHING together in my office.  And after two hours what we discovered is that it was BAD!!!!  Go figure.  So this is to say that in the middle of all the dang nonsense with my house, my frustrations with restoring my computer and office after the mechanical failure of my hard drive were all being undermined by a bad bridge!

But I have a great sense of peace in that this too will pass.  I will have my office and computer restored (hopefully before I die) and we are trying to find a psychiatrist to make a diagnosis (stupidity on my part) for me as well as we will be mocking me for impersonating someone competent about computers.  I however can get worked up about all that and be miserable, or just take a deep breath and restart my blog posting for the umpteenth (but final, I promise) time and pour me a nightcap.  And I will choose the latter.

All I can say is that my life is interesting to say the very least.  Some people complain about the boredom and monotony, I however have nothing but pure and unfiltered drama.  And I suppose like Job (he is in the Bible, I swear) I could dress in sackcloth and ashes and lament my life, or I could pour me a nightcap and admire all the cool new wells they are digging in my yard…….

I will choose the latter.  Please enjoy this unrelated picture of Ben Tirman eating a sandwich tonight in our hallway.  He is our wishing well and we have tossed more into him that you could ever know!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Yeah, at 52 I do not look like Vin Diesel, but I did ask my wife (who cuts my hair) to just shave it all off to at least SE

E what it looks like, and she did.  And you can enjoy the pictures of it as I waited for Ben to get up before posting them (he will be a welcome distraction I am sure).

But right now all I can say is that I am not too fond of it.  Yes my regular haircut is just about a quarter inch longer than this, but honestly I already feel like it is going to take forever to get there.  I do however have pictures, and I have done it…….so now I will know.

Ben thinks it is pretty cool and my mother-in-law and daughter seem to kind of like it.  Of course Steph is a 21 year old college student and probably prone to drinking and my mother-in-law likes me as a son-in-law which probably indicates poor judgment, but in all honesty I will take it.

So I will now look to get a bit of sun so as to make my head blend in a little better than it currently does.  I now at least know what it looks like, and if my scale were just working I would probably be excited to see the three or so ounces I lost in the cut.  Oh the life!!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Well with all the happenings, or non-happenings at our house if we are talking about Everdry of Northern Indiana, Steph and I decided to cut down a “mostly dead” tree today and burn it.  It was a far more extensive project than we had planned, but in all honesty, one that I am thankful to be done with.  And tonight’s picture is of Steph attending to
part of the fire (with a Blue Moon beer and her homework).  Yes, she is also taking a class online this summer, so in between all the “projects” she fits in 4-5 hours of homework a day as well.  She is a pretty hard worker.

But it is also fun for me to get to do stuff with her here at home.  Yes, I have an office here at home, and yes, I am working as much as I possibly can, but if I were not trapped here with supervising the waterproofing work, I woud not see Steph near as much.  So although I am frantically trying to catch up, I am at least getting some family/dad benefit from it.  It is the silver lining of a great big bowl of spoiled fruit I have to say…..but at least I get something from it.

So my picture is pretty sweet.  Behind Steph is my wife’s garden, so Amanda is pretty pleased, Steph has taken a shower and is out there now not lifting or hauling anything, and she is pretty pleased as well.  And I, at 52, am done with the cutting, hauling, and burning myself.  I too have showered off the smoke smell and took this from the balcony off my office that I can now stand on without falling through!  So I am, I suppose, as pleased as I can be.

I just have this burning desire to see it all done.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!


Tommy+

Well I need to confess that Ben at 6 (his birthday was June 30th) is no less weird than he was at 5, but I suppose if he were I would be disappointed.  And tonight’s picture is a cropped one of him at his birthday party with his friends at “Monsters University.”  His expression says it all.

No, I am no Star Wars geek, and I say that meaning no guile as all my friends who love Star Wars consider themselves geeks.  But I truly am standing by, and wanted to make sure I just checked in.  I have been dealing with quite a few personal crisises, all of which connect to the company Everdry of Northern Indiana, who is now ripping my house apart for yet a third time, causing lots of damage, and insisting they will not pay for any of it at all.  All the new carpet has been ripped up and all the new concrete where they replaced my system that “was not even connected and installed WRONG” is now being ripped up again and guess what??????  They have discovered that even the second time, I was being hosed.  So needless to say, I am watching this all very closely and in between reporting the guy who owns this company and is unbelievably dishonest, to every agency and place I can, including those who investigate crime.  I just want our house back, at this point I am not too sure what he wants.

But regardless, it has been difficult for me not to post as I not only feel bad about it, but I also have missed it.  I suppose I could have done something about it at anytime, but I justified my lack of posting by convincing myself that I was too angry to write.  And yes, I was and AM still very angry, but I remembered the great and wise teachings of “Skipper” the leader of the Penguins of Madagascar who always tells Rico, Kowolski, and Private to “wait for it, wait for it.”  And so I will.  Getting mad or blowing up, though I feel like it, doesn’t accomplish much.  Slow, steady, and methodical however will lead to making sure this guy doesn’t do this stuff to people in the future.  Yes, I want our basement fixed and restored……but more than that I want to do the right thing.

On the upside, I am enjoying having Steph and Ben around all the time, and Steph is doing work for us as she is home for the summer.  She is pretty strong and that has been helpful as she helped tear out all the upstairs carpet today and carry it down to the rented dumpster sitting in our drive.  Tomorrow in the afternoon she will help me take down two dead trees.  And she does all this without complaining or having to wear a superhero suit.

But I am back on the horse as they say, and when I say that I mean the people who apparently have horses and fall off them.  I am a tough old dog, and I do not tire or give up easily.  And yes, I am doing fine and moving ahead, so please do not worry.

I am just laying the foundation for the rest of my year and I am intending and expecting for it to be spectacular.  And as a gesture of good faith in all of it I present you with this fine picture of my two indentured servants, I mean kids, who are working with me this summer, and enjoying an ice cream together.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

I have to say that it has been a rough day.  Yes, the waterproofing company was back again today and will be here again tomorrow as it has been determined that the system they installed (the second one) was not just far from finished, but that most of it, if not all of it on the INSIDE of the house, needs to be replaced.  It will (hopefully) be done tomorrow.

So I am not in a good mood, and more than that, neither is my wife.  We had a lot of the finish work done and it will need to be undone in some places.  I cannot tell you how stressful all this has been or how much time I have had to be here so they can work.  But hopefully today will be the end of it.  It will need to be though as I have told them that this is their last chance.

So I needed a win and I was reminded of my wife’s refusal of my proposition (no, get your minds in the right places) to start sharing my office with me.  Where my stroke-induced OCD makes me very controlling about space in my office, her OCD (which she comes by naturally) is the organization kind……she can’t come in here without moving things she feels are out of place and I can’t stand her moving them.  So rather than a domestic call to the police, as she is a yellow belt and I am ju
st a white belt, she graciously declined.

But Ben, who has a space to do all his “stuff” downstairs, didn’t want to be downstairs for most of the day.  He instead was in my office….yes, the one I occupy alone, but I am not bitter.  And he not only made a mess and got into about everything, but he also kept standing between me and my desk asking me to draw or print “just one more Ironman 3 picture.”  

So I decided I needed a win.  And I had what I am convinced was a God-given idea to make my day, and my life better.  So since he is in here all the time, I asked him if he wanted to share an office with me.

Needless to say, he was pretty excited.   I bought him a desk, brought a chair in from his room, and he started work as a very surprised, but very happy boy.  The picture is, of course, related.  And the second picture is of him staking his/our territory.  I now apparently work in a “lab,” which I think makes the dog uneasy as he is a retriever.  But I am enjoying it to say the very least.

And I just can’t wait until he has the security scanners installed.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+