I always like to think that I am okay, but today I have been haunted by my Sunday’s post.  Ben and I went to Brown County and had an adventure and I posted not only a picture from the day of Ben, but also a picture of Steph and Scotty at the same place around 2000 or 2001.

What I didn’t share was my picture from that day with Steph and Scott.  It was me with them at my” pre-stroke” weight.  Oddly enough I look nothing like this anymore, but if I want to see grandchildren and be a burden to my family for many years, I need to get back to it.  Yes, when I HAD my stroke in 2004 this is pretty much what I looked like.  With meds that help my mind, but not my weight, I am way off that look now.

To say “it is killing me” would be an honest description of my mental state, but even more so, it is quite literally a description of my physical state as well.  It needs to change.

I have mentioned this before, albeit with intention and not desperation.  This time it is different.

Sure, I can still be very active, and still shovel mulch like a monster 30 years younger than I am.  Yet I do believe that sooner or later this catches up with me, when without the weight I may gain an additional 15-20 years.  I want that, believe me.

Please keep me in you prayers as I continue to struggle with this, but more than that, as I begin to make progress.  I need it I swear, and with God’s help, maybe, just maybe this summer will be one to remember for the right reasons!

Thanks so much!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+