One of the things I have come to grips with is my ability to do things I used to do when I was younger, and how I do them as a bit older, and especially post stroke.

As an example, when my Monday meeting was scheduled for a hotel conference room by O’Hare in Chicago, I made the decision to fly. Driving back and forth in the same day would make the day close to 20+ hours of concentration, which I can certainly do if I am not doing anything like DRIVING in heavy traffic during the latter part. But the reality is that I would have not been my best after the long drive, nor would I have done well on the way home. Trips like that usually end up seeing me sleep for about 24 hours straight after I get home. So all this is to say that flying was the best choice.

But even with that I was home just before midnight and exhausted. I made myself get up and get things done all day. I then packed, and drove to a JV game in Indianapolis that we won handily (24-7) and then headed to first Champaign, and then Bloomington, Illinois to scout locations to plant churches. I meet the Bishop in the morning at 11 in Peoria to meet with some people helping to plant there. He and I will then drive back to Indiana where he will stay the night at our house before leaving Thursday.

But in all the confusion and busy-ness, I left without my apnea machine. It is the first night I have ever been without it post-stroke, and I have it quite simply so I will not have another. AND it unnerves me to be thinking about sleeping without it. My prescription is quite high, and though it seems odd to say that I sleep with a pretty strong stream of air being pumped into me, in reality it is true….and I worry about not having it. I cause myself to wake up about every minute (I am considered severe) so the morning will be the judge. If I have a rough night, I will not dream and will be exhausted. But if I am not dead, I suppose I will consider it a victory!

So off to bed I go! Actually I am already there. I need the air, but will not miss the mask. I usually wear it every night and tell Amanda that I look like an astronaut, though she is not buying it. I just hope and pray I do okay. Keep me in your prayers…..it really does make me nervous.

Goodnight from the Comfort Suites in Bloomington, Illinois and God Bless!

Tommy+