Sometimes, and I mean only sometimes, another’s misery becomes your joy (as will be the case this year when my Cubs beat the Cleveland Indians in the World Series in October…..in 4 straight games I might add.)  But I have to confess that as a guy, and particularly as a husband, I was overjoyed that our dog Viper distracted all the negative attention that could possibly enter a home tonight by stealing the last few slices of Christmas ham from the plate my wife was preparing for herself for dinner.  Was he shamed and ashamed?  You bet.  But I am just guessing I thought it was worth it….he is a pretty smart boy.

And although there is really no guy equivalent of “you go girl,” I have to confess that I am impressed. This was no small feat, especially when you are 10 and just a few weeks out from major surgery.  His narcotics have been discontinued, so he was not “under the influence,” he was just a 10 in the effective department and 0 in the stealth department.  And, the Squirrel of Pain was not involved.

If she were just dieting or had high cholesterol he could be seen as helping, but neither was the case. Or if the dishes just needed to be cleared he would be declared a wonderdog!  That was also not the case. He was instead a thief, and not even one in the night but in broad daylight.  Plus, his breath smells like Christmas!  He was not seen mind you, but he was tried and convicted without a jury.  And I thought he might try and blame the cat, but ever since the last few times he has done the same thing, the cat puts on this little yarmulke to throw us off the trail.  She’s a liar and it could be her, but it was a lot of ham.

But the good news is that we are all well on our way to healing here.  Ham can be replaced but there is an important lesson to be learned here……..do not leave the kitchen with it on the counter.  He may be old but he loves ham.  And when it is involved he is faster than lightening.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+