I suppose I could write this on a card and give it to Ben, but at 11 you only think you will save things. It is important for me to say to him, so my guess is at some point in his life someone may bring this up to him, and perhaps even provide him a copy.  At 11, I am still his dad, bordering on the edge of somewhere between Superman and that guy who does not know much.  What I want him to know is that even at 11, he is more of a man than I can ever remember being.

These past three years have been full of change, and challenging.  Three years ago, on the day before Thanksgiving we had to put down our beloved Viper, who was not only the best Golden Retriever ever, but among all the dogs who have ever lived, one of the greatest.  Scotty has named him, and he was technically Scotty’s dog.  

He never became a Champion but was a popular dog in the show rings, as he was one of the few dogs that fans were allowed to pet and make a fuss over.  For us, it was never about getting something from a dog, they were instead family. Ben was 8 when we had to put Viper down. Steph stayed home with Ben, and Scotty called Viper in an emotional goodbye that I can still hardly even think about.  Viper is still on my nightstand in his urn, and I have never been of the mind to inter him. 

What has never been in question is how Ben has felt the entire time.  Viper had been in Ben’s entire life, and he has always been upset that he was not with him at the end.  In truth, I believe him, although I would have made the same decision.  I love all of the kids and losing a dog is not something even adults handle all that well.

But over 17 years ago, Steph and Scott got me to visit the Humane Society.  They wanted to look at cats.  I said we could go an look but we could not buy as we could not afford the adoption fee of $60.  

There were a lot of cute kittens there, and they were very attracted to this little grey and white kitten that could not stop meowing.  It was cracking them up, and they wanted her.  She was a kitten of a litter of two feral cats found on the east side of town, and I said we could not get her because we did not have $60. I had apparently been set up. They produced $60 that their Uncle Al, my dad’s brother had sent them, and that kitten, Puddy, continued meowing all the way until this past Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, three years after Viper had to be put down.

Puddy had been sick years earlier, and we thought it was the end

then, but it was clear that it was coming suddenly now.  Her kidneys were failing, and the soonest appointment was at 3:20 the day before Thanksgiving.  

Ben did not remind me, he told me he was going to go.  He said that Viper was his dog and he was not there for him, and that he would not do the same to Puddy.  

So Amanda and I took the day off and prepared for the worst.

Ben helped us the night before and all day with Puddy.  He was loving and caring and intentional.  When the time came for us to leave, he helped put her in the crate, and he carried her to the truck and sat with her in the back.  

He carried her into the vet, and even back into the medical room.  As she was put down, he moved towards her, hand on her head, and he comforted her. He loved her, and he made sure she knew that till the last beat of her heart.   He cried, and he isolated much of the rest of the day.  But I am convinced even at 8 he would have done the same for Viper.  I want to protect him, but in truth, I have learned from him.

My son Ben is far braver than I have ever been.  Yeah sure, I can show up and do the right things, but Ben shows up with heart.  He feels it and then he lives it.  What that produces is a man who will never regret it.

I was there for him and my wife and for Puddy.  He was there for Puddy alone.  I believe she knew that.  She never closed her eyes, she kept them on him.  She crossed the Rainbow Bridge and in doing so allowed us to discover something amazing about our youngest son……sometimes doing the right thing doesn’t involve anything complicated.  Sometimes it just involves showing up and being there as who you have always been to comfort your friend, or your life-long pet in need.  

I have three amazing kids, and with Ben I am only sorry I did not let him come three years ago. Both Viper and Puddy were there through his whole life.  He knew he would be in pain, but he chose the good portion.  As I said, it has been a hard week, but the lessons have been learned by me more than anyone.

Today Ben and I picked  up Puddy’s urn together, and Ben at this point wants to keep it in his room.  And that is where she is.  He is concerned about the dogs, particularly mine who were all very close to her, and will decide what to do when he brings her home. But I am proud of him.  He is mature beyond his years, and mostly likely mature beyond mine.  

Blessings to you and yours……

Fr. Tom+