My disappearance from this blog these last few days has been intentional, as we went to visit Stephanie in Missouri for her home opener.  Lindenwood is rated #14 in the NCAA II Coaches’ Poll, and as it is her Senior year, we wanted to be there.  With Viper having arthritis and narcotics simultaneously however, we decided to take him with us rather than boarding him in a kennel at our vets.  Sleeping on the floor at a hotel is far more comfortable for him, plus he got to see Steph and a few of his other friends out there.  With that however, we left the house only “cat-ed” and alarmed, rather than having people stay there, so I didn’t want to advertise that or post pictures away as I didn’t want to invite trouble.  After all, my copy of Dr. Phil’s “Life Strategies” is worth probably about 4 bucks on the black market.  My wife always quotes her grandma who said, “you don’t borrow trouble,” and I say “you don’t invite it either.’  And doing this on a whim just made these decisions prudent.

But we had a great time!  It was as cold (not as hell as hell is hot), but to the extent that I was quite uncomfortable out by the field.  Yes, they did provide indoor seating which Ben and Amanda took advantage of, but I am a purest.  (Plus I cannot see from the athletic center’s room as I have the eyes of a mole).  But I do not regret one dang second of my choice to stay outside.  It’s important to me as her dad, and if regular readers remember I left my position as head coach of the Noblesville High School Lady Millers Lacrosse team in order to be able to support Steph and her team.  So had I not been there, I would have been out on some sub-zero field anyhow everyday for practice and games.  Watching the Lions I only do so at games.

And this is it too.  They won 16-10 and with a strong season can qualify to play for the National Title in May.  As a coach, even just while watching, I always go play by play, minute by minute.  Execute in the now, recover and adapt to mistakes, and to not lose sight of what it right in front of you.  Not every moment will be spectacular……..refs with make bad calls, players will get frustrated, teammates can lose focus.  But good players see that and work to rise above that.  Great players set it aside for the play in front of them.  This is a great team, with a great staff, and a lot of vision.

As a coach on a almost completed hiatus, and a former player (although it was ice hockey) I will say confidence and belief in oneself change the dynamic.  To me, every puck was mine to take from an opponent, every shot a goal I expected to make, and every pass one that I expected a teammate could take if my options seemed shut out.  A team in not one in individuality, it is one by it’s collective commitment to team…..no selfishness, no egos, and a common vision and mission to win each game.

No one likes a coach, particularly a good one, and even more particularly one who coached quite a few players now playing at these levels, to chime in on The Lindenwood Staff.  I will do so to say they are FANTASTIC, and with  record speaks for itself.  They teach me too.  And I have complete confidence that they are not only contenders for a title here, but will be often in many year to come.

It was a pretty awesome weekend and we were glad to be a apart!  Go Lions!

So goodnight my friends and God Bless.  And please enough tonight’s picture of Ben and Steph celebrating there genetic goofiness together.  After all, you’ve gotta be able to also cut loose off the field and recharge with that which gives you life!

Keep it up Lions!  You are a very strong and balanced team, and you will go far, and hopefully this year too!!!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!


Tommy+

Since our day is packed tomorrow and since he worked so hard, he asked me if he could give his mom her Valentine’s gifts that he made tonight rather than in the morning.  The schedule is very tight in the morning and knowing that we have something for him then made this a good idea.  PLUS, if you ever had to deal with a 6 year old that is excited about something you know that you can be in bed and here him knock on your door every 5 minutes for 6 hours about how he cannot sleep, or you can just deal with the issue directly, which is what we did.

All and all it worked out quite well, as they were able to spend the time looking at her gifts and keeping all the attention, particularly his.  There is nothing so distracted as a child who is anticipating a gift, and it was a real blessing to see his pride in all that he had done (and yes, I only helped and gave a little direction).  And in addition to all that, she was deeply moved by it as well, and had he not been such a nitnort, I am guessing the tears I could see welling up would have just came.  So they sat and looked at it all together.

The frame is pretty self-explanatory, but he has those pictures in order.  And every picture is of them both, including in the book…..just him and her.  He picked out all of them and decided which ones went where, and of course designed his own cover.  He almost didn’t make it to the real Valentine’s Day though as in “our office” together, (past his bedtime) he decided on a more elaborate design.  His “editor” urged him to not, and “warned” him that this would not be a good idea.  In fact, the editor told him to “just draw a heart,” which after a bit of “discussion” he did.  After it was all done however, that little snake took a pencil and drew arms and legs on the heart and then just looked at his editor and laughed.  It reminded me of my mom once telling me that she hoped I would have the kids I deserved, yet tonight I thought God would think I had already paid…..and twice.  Of course I did think He might be saying (God) you will do this until you get it right, but I am always heading in the wrong direction!

Anyway, I suppose it doesn’t matter as it was not about me, but about him and his mom.  He did a great job too and I enjoyed working with him.  Mind you I don’t want to do it again, but it was fun while it lasted.

And speaking of things that last, I have lasted to the end of the day and quite honestly considering it all, it is a miracle.  But while he worked I finished my stuff for her too.  We are all on a schedule……and with Valentine’s Day tomorrow, I do not want to be behind in mine!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

There were a lot of neat things that happened today, but the best was the end of acute depression for our dog Viper.  On Monday, my truck went in for a recall which took three days.  Toyota provided me a rental car, and it was nice (BRAND NEW), but it also was a car that prohibited pets.  But every morning Viper and one of his toys, usually his squirrel meet Ben and I downstairs by the door.  He loves to ride, and he is a celebrity everywhere he goes, but especially at the school.  So being cut off was very difficult for him to understand and he clearly hated it.  But I was able to return the car and pick up my truck today at about 2, and even though it was out of the way, ran by the house to pick him up.  He was so happy he could hardly stand it.  And it really did make my day.

I also learned that my youngest son is a great big pig!!  When I dropped off my truck I had taken all the stuff out of it in the dark.  But today when I picked it up it was light.  I almost felt like I would get in trouble for putting his booster seat back over the tons of crap that moving it must of uncovered.  He never eats anything in the truck that can spoil, but some of these artifacts were unidentifiable.  And for a kid who is really not all that big, his swath of destruction is mighty wide.  I didn’t know whether to be appalled or amazed.

And then finally, although there is certainly more, Ben and I cooked dinner again tonight and he made himself what started as a cheese pizza.  He made it out of pasta sauce, crescent roll, and mozzarella cheese.  But when I mentioned if we fold it over we could make a calzone, he acted like he had morphed into some Italian culinary aficionado.  We folded over the crescent rolls, but it was as if we discovered the Holy Grail.  He thought he was pretty cool.

And it was pretty good, and he enjoyed making it.  My wife and I are both good cooks, but we have different styles, each of which he thrives in.  Amanda is a scientist by training.  She follows recipes, everything is measured out and timed.  Ben likes to measure stuff and follow those directions, especially as Amanda makes the goodies whereas I am more a dinner guy.

I however grew up in a place where recipes were in the head of the cook, and they were passed by example, and finished by taste.  It’s never exactly the same, and sometimes a little chaotic, but you cook to produce what you want, and what you want THEN.  It is I suppose a variation of “seasoned to taste,” perhaps “cooked to taste,” but it really is all I want to do.  And I am glad he likes both styles.

But his calzone has been devoured and Ben is now in bed.  My truck is still a biohazard, but the dog will not mind.  I will just pray it is not -50 tomorrow as we begin the day.  But regardless, I got my truck back and what guy wouldn’t be pleased with that?

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!


Tommy+

Sometimes you just don’t have it, and today is such a day.  I am exhausted, and as I cannot take a picture of myself passed out from doing too much, please enjoy an older picture of Ben doing that for me.  I am hoping to get to this state soon.

What I can say though is that my life is always “interesting” and providing me with many joys as well as challenges.  Of course like anyone, I would rather have a bit more joy and far less challenge, but as they say where I come from, (and I do not know who “they” really are) “You play the hand you are dealt.”  And that I do.

But no big post for today, nor anything remarkably insightful, witty, or informational, but as regular readers know, these postings rarely ever are.  But the day is done, and so I am.  I hope and pray for you it was a good one too!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless.

Tommy+

These are pictures I had to scan from an old photo album of mine, and the young woman in them is perhaps the funniest woman I have ever known…….my sister Sarah.  And since I appear to be in somewhat of a remembering phase in my blogs, and since I posted mainly about Steph last night, I thought I would talk a bit about Sarah tonight.  Sarah passed in 2004.

And yes, that is a raccoon with her on the right, we need to just put that out there, and yes it is hers, although she did not bear him herself.  But that raccoon was my first nephew…….Biff.  My second nephew, her oldest human child is Griff, and her daughter is of course named Katie giving up the pattern.  Her husband Steve (as well as husband Gary) were both told by me that they were insane BEFORE they were married, but Gary got to live a more serious existence, whereas Steve did not.  I always thought that Biff may have been her payback for the time she, Steve, and I were driving back to Mishawaka from my Aunt Susie and Uncle Phil’s house and Sarah was in the back.  I was driving and at a good clip when this raccoon appeared out of nowhere and BAM!  I hit it without even having the opportunity to slow down, and since we knew it could not have even survived we kept going.  Steve leaned over and mentioned that I suppose we were lucky that Sarah was asleep in the back, and it was then that I saw her face.  She was not pleased, as if I could do anything, but Biff may have been Steve’s compensation and Biff’s visit to my house after graduating from seminary where he got into my pool and single paw-edly popped $6000 worth of inflatable pool toys may have been mine. Katie and Griff have been a blast (as is Amelia, Steph’s daughter) and none of them feel like payback at all.
Steph’s

But Sarah we used to call “Fish,” as she was always swimming at the pool.  She always had a joke, and often wrote her own, and even if no one would laugh she would.  Her speech classes in high school and college both included instruction on how to “bunny hop” of which she was not just a big fan, but owned her own personal set of ears.

Sarah made people laugh, and did so with ease.  She didn’t seem to take herself very seriously and just always seemed to be wearing a smile.  Oddly enough, I was the one who taught both my sisters to drive and I had a stick shift.  Neither one picked it up quickly, but Sarah nearly killed us.  She just laughed it off though, and kept at it.  She lived on her own terms and it was pretty fun to see.  She and Steve even got married when he was home on leave and she told our mom and dad months later!  (I would have LOVED to see that!) But she was just that way, very comfortable with herself….at least that is the way I saw and experienced her.

And I with both of them was the big brother.  No, they couldn’t give a dang what I thought back then, but where we grew up being that protective big brother was just what you do.  But I never got to do my job.  My best friend Randy and I were one day hanging out front when some kid said some boys had Sarah pinned down about a block away and they were trying to kiss her.  Randy and I took off to get them, and when I say get, I mean beat them to a pulp….this was my sister.  Sure enough, we turned the corner and there was a guy, a neighborhood kid, trying to kiss her.  We never made it there in time, but in retrospect I bet that kid wished we would have……Sarah got a leg free and kicked him in the groin so hard that I am sure he needed surgery to stop singing soprano years later.  She said she was fine and I laughed pretty hard.  Both my sisters could take care of themselves.

Later in life we all connected differently.  We all shared in the care of our mom in her early stages of Alzheimer’s, but Sarah took on the lion’s share.  She was a good daughter, a good mom, and good wife, and a great sister.  (I put good in all the others as I am not qualified by role to define!)  And quite honestly I miss her a lot.

You know, God blessed me deeply to allow me to grow up with these two goofballs, (the one I write about tonight is their QUEEN).   I am the oldest of my dad’s five children (that he knows of) and each one of us brings something unique to our family.  Steph and Sarah have left a big hole in our hearts, too big to fill in fact, but really we shouldn’t even try as neither of them would probably want us to.  They were just great people, and my only regret is that I would have taken the time to spend more time with them, or write down some of Sarah’s stupid jokes.  Here are the two I will leave you with (they are riddles)

Q: What is green, wears a cape, flies around and fights crime?   A: Super Pickle (from a book)
Q: What kind of pickle can you just not cut?  A: A sweet pickle (yes, a Sarah nee Tirman Kentner original)

I miss you Fish and I love you!  See you (hopefully not too) soon!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless.  I am off to play some bunny hop music!

Tommy+

Yes, we are engaged and still married each and every day.  Amanda and I decided to replace her old wedding/engagement ring set and the size of the new ring was not quite right.  So we needed to have it re-sized.  The rings I had bought her were nice, but the engagement ring in particular, stuck up pretty high (almost all 8 carat diamonds do).  But being pretty “old-school,” neither of us like to take off our rings.  But a few years ago, after snagging that ring on our covers many times, we bought a $7.00 wedding band at Kohls for her to wear as her “nighttime wedding ring,” and it has worked well so far.

AN IMPORTANT NOTE – There are videos come out sideways on the blog but correctly on Facebook.  The one with Ben is the one to watch first.  His mom is elsewhere in the store and we were plotting.

But we have talked about this a lot, as she also takes Taekwondo and would have to switch to this nighttime ring so as to not injure other people or equipment.  We decided to have her go to just one ring, that looks like her current wedding band, which is soldered to engagement ring, and that would solve it all.  But both her wedding band, as well as that pricey $7.00 ring, were meant to be in a set, and apart from being soldered to an engagement ring, you can hardly even see them, even close up.

So we made arrangements to get this new ring, which kind of looks like both of the ones she has in terms of bands, but much wider.  She will no longer wear the engagement ring or a set, but as I said, it needed to be re sized.  That takes just a little time.

But being purists, I wanted her to have something to wear, so as she and Ben were checking out at the Walmart, I ran over to the jewelry counter and dropped close to 10 full dollars for a SET, big diamond (which I am just sure is real) and all.  I then met them at the front of the store where I enlisted Ben to help me in what I refer to as my “RE-proposal” by serving as my cameraman.  The video of him is my interview of him prior to filming the “main-event.” But the videos are only up on Facebook as they do not post here right side up.

(Spoiler alert) I won’t try to spoil the ending here, but I asked her in the Barnes and Noble (on video…..although they both come out sideways on the blogger, but right side up on Facebook) to “stay married to me.”  It is probably not all that hard to guess what happens as we both still live in the same house.  Enjoy!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Considering I wanted to “do her in” for the great majority of my youth as she is my sister, the “original Stephanie Tirman” and I cannot think of a finer specimen of human being to teach me about life.  I have lived 52 years on God’s good earth, yet her time was far shorter.  She lived almost all of it suffering and the last part of it suffering intensely with cancer before it took her in 2001.  Yet they way she lived, it seems someone should have told her, as she never seemed to let it get in her way, at least as far as I knew.  And as I deal with stuff in this life I always seem to find myself back to Steph as my mentor.

Now please don’t get me wrong, as both Steph and Sarah died of cancer (Sarah in 2004) but Sarah I am certain would say the same.  She too was amazed by Steph and we were able to spend a lot of time with her.  I won’t go into it all, as it really sucks that they both died far too soon, but I will say Steph did so quite publicly, living almost as if she wouldn’t give her cancer any attention.  It was not delusional at any time, just merely her choice.  She was not going to let it control the life she wanted to live as she understood life far differently from the rest of us.  In all reality, not to be dark, but none of us get out of this life alive, but Steph lived in a way that reflected she appreciated it, whereas most of us take that for granted.

I know I often write of these two closer to their birthdays but I ran across this picture and it amazed me. It is pre-cancer by just a year or so.  It is Steph competing for Ball State University on the parallel bars as she was one of their “all around” gymnasts.  Yet she is in pain here too.  The tape on her ankles was not for show and it is on her wrists as well.  Hell, I hurt getting out of bed sometimes, she had destroyed her joints with “sticking” landing and launching herself over the years, and yet here she is seconds away from somersaulting a few times in the air and sticking another and smiling her brains out.  She never complained, didn’t cry, and had passion for what she was doing and kept her life centered there. And even in the midst of the battles (yes many more than 1 over 15 years) with cancer, she held the same philosophy.  She lived her passion…..her family.

I have had my shares of challenges over the years and some of them pretty serious, yet, they have been far easier to deal with when I remember.  I think we all tend to be a bit self-focused in life as things happen “to us,” yet regardless our turning our attention inward often robs us of the value of living in what is happening around us.  And if there is any lesson I could impart to you from my sister it is this, pay attention to and live the life that is with you now and live it fully, as it will not be there forever. Pain may come and go, or it may ever stay, but your life is happening NOW!  Appreciate it for what it is, live it, and affect it.

I really do miss them both, and my dad would tell you that that is a big 180 from when I used to plot their demise.  But today I will not complain.  Today I will do my best to live the life the God has put before me and enjoy it.

I have many blessings, more than I could count.  But counting really wastes that precious living time.  I will just live in them instead.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

I concocted this blog post on Christmas morning when I saw that Santa had brought Captain Nerdburger a telescope.  Of course it took me back to the former Captain Nerdburger, who was sitting only a few feet from me opening more college-aged gifts.  Of course both of them together creates some sort of nerdy covalent bond, but it took me awhile to remember to take a similar picture of Ben like I had of Steph many years ago.

It’s really kind of cool I think.  Scotty is more like me, smart but not “academically competitive,” unlike the girls and Ben who all are pretty intense about the science stuff (That’s why Amanda IS a scientist by training, as is her mom, and Steph will be upon her graduation).  It will be interesting to see if Ben’s love of their world is fleeting or it sticks.  Some boys like paleontology and astronomy as

youngsters but it gives way to thinks like sports, girls, and general slacking off.  Oh I know we are just as smart as they are, they just apply it differently.  I think that’s what makes school to them “business” and to us a time to have fun with some classes in between.  Ironically, I hated school and learning, yet between Kindergarten and my doctoral degree I went 28 years.  And as soon as I could tell time I was staring at the clock painfully awaiting the end of class.  I did that all the way through too.  So I see myself paying for every moment, someone like my wife uses that haughty language about “earning” it.

But all and all I hope that he goes the path of his sister and mom.  Scotty and I’s road is clearly a lot harder.  We both would tell you that.  Sure it may “seem” that we had more fun, and we probably did, but life becomes a twisted version of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf.”  You’ve presented yourself to not take things seriously, and then you DO have to earn back a better picture of how people view you.   You sometimes have to convince people you are serious or have a brain that functions.  It all however is a life of our own creation, and I have no regrets.

After all, I would much rather talk about something stupid I did that makes me laugh than the finer points of cell division or genetic mutation.  (Well the genetic mutation thing would be pretty cool if were something like Spiderman’s, but you catch my drift)  In our family however it works and is a good balance.  Ben however is the lynch pin, the extra weight that will tip the scales to decide the dominant make-up of our family.  But Scott and I are not too worried.  Ben is ultimately a Tirman male and although we are all smart, we have not lost one yet.  And we are going all in on the boy, who is like having a hand of a pair of 2’s a 6, a 10, and a “go fish” card from another deck.  How could we ever lose?  We are confident he will do just fine.

At least that’s our best and current plan.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

In a way, I suppose it was good for me.  I was out for a couple of hours today just clearing our drive to be able to get out, and I have a BIG snowblower too.  It just took a long time and with Ben off school, I was working hard to supervise him as well.  In the end the drive is clear, Ben did not injure himself or anyone else, and at 7:00pm EST I was able to take a shower for the first time today.  I am exhausted and just ready for the day to end.  I have plenty more to do, but as one of my friends and colleagues in ministry Father Bill Knapp (RIP Bill, now working from the “home office”) told me close to 21 years ago (I was in the ER with chest pains!) “Dead priests get very little done.”  It was life-changing advice that I have followed since.  I no longer push myself way past the edge.

I always hear people talk about living in moderation, but that concept doesn’t interest me either. Balance, I have found at least, is what it important, as well as both knowing your limits and challenging yourself.  Committing to mediocrity isn’t much of a commitment in my mind, and I do better when I don’t just settle.

Of course this is not to say that I live my life in balance all the time, because I certainly do not.  I am not suggesting I be a prototype for anyone.  I am to life what the Chicago Cubs are to baseball, long suffering and constantly trying to get it right.  Yet it is that evasive goal that always keeps me adjusting, and I pray the Cubs analogy would break down here, but like the Cubs I can get close to my goal and blow it all……frequently.

But all and all, I believe I would rather live in an honesty reality verses a delusional one.  (Tonight’s picture is of my wife just a short time before Ben was born….if only life had an epidural)
We were never promised paradise and in all honesty there are often more challenges in this life than we would like to have.  But it is in this life that we can find that balance and live it well.

And for me, that means bed.  Amanda has worked all day and is exhausted and sick.  Ben is already down probably headed for his 7000th consecutive 2 hour delay or snow day, and I know where my edge is.  I am just past it and feel the need to call it a day, heeding the advice of my good friend Bill.  I sure do miss him.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless.

Tommy+

I am watching it snow tonight and it is apparently something the “weather people” (a mainstream tribe of voodoo practitioners with similar accuracy rates in terms of weather prediction…poor) say will be something I can do for many hours in a row, perhaps even into late tomorrow.  But for as good as they are, tomorrow may be sunny and 85.  We will see.

But I notice as I watch how my perspective has changed.  At 52 snow is still beautiful, but in a very different way than when I was, let’s say 12.  At 52 snow is peaceful and serene.  It covers all the imperfections of yards, roof lines and trees, and creates especially when things are still, the same sort of mystical world you imagine that Lucy discovers as she enters Narnia for the first time.  It is very beautiful.

Of course at 52 you also have the ability to wake yourself up and think how that super long driveway that you love seems a heck of a lot longer covered in snow.  And now that you you received that long expectant call from the school calling off, and you have rechecked the entire house many times for your able bodied 22 year old daughter and 20 year old son, you finally come to acceptance.  Yes, they no longer live here so they cannot plow the drive.  Then you frantically look to find the manual for the snowblower to answer your next question, and you find that yes, as you assumed, a 6 year old cannot drive a snowblower that is twice the size of him.  And even if there are child labor laws in Indiana kids when I grew up learned the old fashioned way……you worked for family for free.  And that’s why my perspective was different when I was 12.

You see at 12, snow meant money.  Since no one had snowblowers (I looked up that they were invented in the 1920’s) a shovel was a good gig.  AND, it was fun too.  I know the term “Lake Effect Snow” means something to many and when you grow up in that kind of area you get a lot of snow. Tonight’s snow seems devastating for everyone in this area and there is a lot of drama surrounding it, yet for me, tomorrow will find a very Narnia type picture that will surely produce a lot of nostalgic feelings for me as 7-8 inches on the ground was pretty normal for home.  The difference will be the sounds.  Snowblowers stifle the sweet sounds of winter, such as the sound of a sturdy shovel scraping under a hearty pile of snow as a drive gets cleared.  And I hear that sound and it means winter and gives me feelings I really only deeply understand.

But of course I am not 12 anymore, I am 52.  And the drive will not only not shovel itself (apologies to my HS English Teacher Thelma Martin…RIP for the double negative) but if we cannot get out there is a strange side-effect that takes place.  You see after you have your first child, snow physical properties of snow change as well as the dimensions of both time and space.  Snow will now cure, and harden, and trap you in your home.  With that, your house can also get smaller to where even the largest home can seem like a small room….especially when you hang with a six year old who wants to tell you every detail about Spongebob, Minecraft, or some other vital piece of national security information (he never talks about all those books he reads).

But the good thing is I have a plan and that plan is a SHOVEL, which tomorrow he will learn to use. He won’t make any cash as I don’t want to go to jail, but I don’t want to be in one either.  He DOES have a snowblower as the parents in my neighborhood would say, it’s in his hands.  And he can work now to have the privilege then or taking the mechanical one out to make some when he gets older.  But for now this will have to do.  It is going to be an adventure!
moola

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+