I sent both my wife and daughter into a rant…..as I picked Ben up from school today I could see him walking, and walking with a GIRL.  They were HOLDING HANDS, and I will not confess to anything more.  But Ben has been given clear direction from both Amanda and Steph that he is in KINDERGARTEN and that he is NOT to have any girlfriends.

But of course regular readers know that Ben has TONS of girlfriends. He considers most of the girls that grew up with Steph his girlfriends, and ALL the girls at college as well.  he clearly is showing a propensity for dating the “older women,” yet in all reality, he doesn’t have any money, no car, nor a driver’s license.  AND, he lives with his parents…..but at least not in our basement.  He is not really what you would consider dating material, but he is cute and I suppose that must count for something.

So Steph gave the first lecture from Missouri (I had given the first) and Amanda gave the third.  They are apparently “just friends,” and their smiles seemed mutual, but I do understand that we really need to nip this in the bud.

But some guys just have it, and he is one of them.  So many girls and really so much time…..really he has A LOT of time….after all, he is just 5!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Oh sure, I expect that when regular readers read this title they will figure that Ben is still struggling with his tonsil surgery and that this is about him being miserable.  And although it is true that he is still struggling, this post is actually not about him at all.  This post is about my meeting today with Father PT and our time together at the Golden Corral.

And no, our meal was not bad, nor was the company.  But I was there in a Chicago Bears’ jersey and PT was wearing a Notre Dame hat.  We are like twins in that regard….life long fans of Notre Dame, the Chicago Bears, AND the Chicago Cubs.

But there was an old man at the Golden Corral and when I say old, I mean he was in his 90’s.  And he was wearing a Notre Dame hat AND he kept looking at my Bears’ jersey.  And as we were leaving, we finally talked…..first about my jersey, then about PT and his hats, and then about the teams.  He too was a big fan and I realized that PT and I were not twins at all…..we were triplets!

But the big surprise came in his sharing that he had been a Cubs fan for OVER 90 YEARS, and I was suddenly filled with remorse.  I have struggled just a little over half that and I act like a big martyr about it.  But my brother, we will call him Moses or Abraham or something, now HE HAS REALLY SUFFERED.

When I am in my 90’s and he is long gone, I wonder if I too will be as disappointed as he was….perhaps so.  But in the end, it was pretty cool to get to meet him and I hope we run into him again.  Misery does love company, and our misery is of the best kind.  I was blessed to meet him, and I hope he is at home tonight feeling the very same way!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

If life were only easier.  We were hoping that Ben would be able to return to school tomorrow, but he is still struggling with his throat.  It is hard on him, and it is also in my mind completely unnecessary.  Healthcare has changed so much and the sad part is that there are often innocent victims of these changes…..and currently one of them is our son.

In the “old days” he would have staying in the hospital getting hydration and pain meds.  In these modern times, they just send you home.  Little kid’s throats HURT.  They struggle to take the meds, they struggle to drink, and in the end they suffer.  And in my mind there is no more logic in taking out tonsils and adenoids and sending a kid home who can’t really understand it all in just a few hours, than to send a newborn and its mother home just around 24 hours after giving birth.  Sure, it saves SOMEONE some money, but when in the world are we going to start to care about people before money?  It is more than just putting the cart before the horse….it in all honesty is just plain nonsense.

And no, I am not asking for someone else to pay for our child.  What I am saying is that care decisions need to be made by doctors and their concern for patients……not bureaucrats.  What’s going to be next? Are we heading to “code rooms” where if you code we wheel you there as moving all that equipment to the person who is coding is not as efficient?  I know, it seems ridiculous, but then again so does making people suffer unnecessarily 

So 5 days in and he is now miserable again…..and what is worse is that he doesn’t understand.  It’s not our doctor’s fault, or the surgery center’s fault…..they have all been great.  But the system is a mess.  And the sad part is that these are just tonsils and a little kid.  What about the big things?  God help us!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Finally…..the one thing that our son Scotty wanted to have at home, a flagpole.  And this afternoon, after months of hard work and planning, his little brother Ben, dressed in his REAL USMC cammies, (with the name TIRMAN on it just like his brother’s) raised both the US Flag and the USMC Flag in honor of the brave men and women who stand in harm’s way for our great country everyday!

It was a humbling request from our son Scott as he left for boot camp.  He is still there and we rarely get to hear from him, but the flags will be the first thing he sees when he returns home for leave in December.  It has been a BIG project and it is a BIG flagpole (30 ft) and had BIG flags (US- 8×5 and USMC 3×5)  AND, it looks spectacular, although nothing will compare to being on base and seeing all those young Marines graduate!  It will be a high honor for sure.

I want to encourage ALL OF YOU to SHARE this blog post with anyone you can.  These flags fly for all Americans, and especially for our US Marines…..the ones who have served, for those serving, and for those to come…like our son Scott……and someday perhaps his brother Ben.  We are proud to have them wave in our yard, and they will fly 24/7 and 365, as they have been designed.  It doesn’t matter who is political control, or anything else….we are proud to support the brave men and women who serve and who have served.

On this Thanksgiving week, we have A LOT to be thankful for.  As for us, we will witness to that by flying our flags proudly.  We will see our son Scott in just 26 days….and he will be a US Marine.  We will be thankful for that…..just as we will be thankful for all who put on the uniform of our country and serve.  Thank God for them all!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Yes this is the pre-surgery Ben, in the Mini Cooper that he (and all kids) drive to surgery at the Surgery Center.  And in all honesty, he totally stunk at driving it.  He never kept his foot on the gas long enough to get anywhere, which made even getting the OR quite a feat, and he has no concept of corners.

And post operation, he still is having trouble with corners.  He refuses to swallow ANYTHING….including his own spit.  And yes, this has delayed his recovery and made him a candidate for dehydration, but this afternoon he DID make a lot of progress.  It seems he will not need to go back to the doctor over the weekend.  But I will say that he still is not a big fan of drinking a thing!!

The good news in all of this however, is that I WENT to my doctor today about the fever I have been running since the night of Ben’s surgery.  I am NOT contagious to him and am now on meds.  This means I can now take night duty, regardless of how I feel.  And it may not seem rational, but I am really quite thankful for that.  Amanda is exhausted and I want her to get some sleep.  Tonight she finally will.

So that is my report.  It’s progress, but I am hoping tomorrow to give even a better one!!  We have a lot to be thankful for here…..and the best is this……Ben’s recovery is far better than he drives!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Although neither Ben or I are feeling well….he has lost his tonsils and adenoids and is running a fever, while I am just running a fever as well, we DID manage to get out into the yard today and slide the flagpole into it’s base.  It took ALL OF US (Amanda, Steph, Kara, and myself) to lift it into the hole, but it looks great and it made a Thanksgiving I wasn’t able to participate in as I wanted, all the better.

And…….as this was something that Scotty had requested, it was fitting to put it in the ground on Thanksgiving.  We hope to raise the flags over the weekend, and we will leave them up so that the US and USMC flags are the first things he sees as we pull into the drive.  He serves one and he earned the other.  And it was a very honorable request for him to make.  I didn’t want to disappoint him.

But with that, I am worn out and hoping that I can turn a corner sometime tonight.  More importantly however, we need Ben to.  He needs to DRINK, but he is a pretty stubborn soul.  Please pray for him to get better.  I can deal with myself……but I worry about him.

ALSO, please pray for my wife.  She was up all night before the surgery worried.  Last night and today, with me unable to take care of Ben in case I was contagious, she took care of him by herself.  She is exhausted.  Pray that she can make it through this.  And pray that I get better as well….THAT would be a big help!

But Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!  We are not as happy here as we want to be, but we ARE thankful!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Yes, Ben had an extremely successful surgery this morning and we were home just a little after noon.  He was on pain meds, and wanted to do too much as his sister was here, but he seemed to do it all without consequence.

By bedtime, he was far more tired and far more grouchy too.  But we  stocked up on ice cream and such for “fake Thanksgiving” tomorrow, so we assumed things would just be okay.

Of course MY spiking a fever has been an unexpected and unwelcomed surprise.  I immediately distanced myself from him, and am now in bed in sweats and all as I already have the chills going on.  It totally sucks, I assure you.  But in life, it is what it is…..I will deal with it the bet I can and I have Amanda and Steph to step up and make it work.

But for now I am thankful AND I feel like hell.  I am holding onto the good, and I am praying that the bad does not overtake me.

Ben is on his way to better health……me,…….not so much.  But the big point is to be beyond surgery and get HIS problems resolved…..and that is what we did!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Yes, tonight is the night BEFORE surgery for Ben.  Tomorrow morning he will have his tonsils and adenoids removed AS WELL AS tubes installed in his ears…..he needs it all.  He has tons of ear infections, he cannot hear, and hopefully this will solve his, other than that early bedtime thing.  He is not looking forward to the surgery, but seems strangely drawn to the fact that he gets to eat ice cream all the time for a few days….go figure.

And STEPH will be home tonight around midnight, so she will go with us to his surgery.  Ben is very excited about that, and in all honesty I think Steph is too.  All the kids are pretty tight, and if it was not on her break, she would just worry.  We didn’t schedule it for her break for her though, he just doesn’t need to miss any more school if he doesn’t need to.  So they have no school tomorrow anyway, and there is a chance that he could be fine by Monday when they return.

PLUS…..we were not having REAL Thanksgiving on Thursday anyway.  We instead were having FAKE Thanksgiving.  We figured if Scotty couldn’t be here, we would celebrate our family Thanksgiving a day or two after Christmas when he is home on leave.  I know one of his buddies had his Thanksgiving BEFORE he shipped.  So I know we are all looking forward to that anyway.

But Ben is out having Mac and Cheese at Panera right now with his mom.  He may have something else when they get home, but nothing after midnight.  We do ask however that you keep him in your prayers.  He is just a little guy and this is a big thing.  We know he will be scared AND I KNOW that Amanda will be a MESS!  Pray for her as well.

But for now, that’s it.  I am getting ready for the return of Ben and the arrival of Steph and Kara…..good times!!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Yes, this was the picture right before he left for school.  My mother-in-law, better identified as Ben’s “Nanny,” not in the nanny sense, but in the Kansas grandma sense, left to return for Kansas after an almost 3 month stay.  And I need to confess that it was hard on ALL of us.

In all honesty, she came here about a month earlier than she had planned, and she came to help out amidst a situation for which we needed help.  It was truly a Godsend too.  But we never asked her.  She asked us if she could come early, and she even gave up a planned vacation to do so.  It was an unbelievable gift to us, and it made all the difference.

But more than that, during that last hug, she encouraged me to keep moving ahead.  It was more than significant, in that she and I actually said goodbye twice….she passed on the same thing both times.  I am not a moron, at least most of the time, so I really did pick up the message.

The fact is, she is devoted to us and to her family as a whole.  No one likes to have problems or struggles, but when they do it is always a blessing to see people step up and support you, particularly family.  And I will be eternally grateful for all she has done for us…and in fact, knowing her, I am sure that it is not done.

So by now she is close to Kansas, where she will spend the next few months with HER Father-in-law, and help him.  I am sure she will have fun.

But here, we will miss her, and here we will continue on.  Oh yes, we KNOW she will return, we just do not know when.  But we are thankful for her in our lives……and even as the son-in-law let me confess….YES, even me.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+