Monthly Archives: January 2011

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In the fire……

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I know there is a lot of snow on the ground, but personally feel like things are on fire. And since I am not a young man anymore, I want you to know that I rarely panic in times like these but take them as times to pay closer attention to what is going on and move ahead. Some of my best decisions/life choices have been made in the midst of a fire, and although I am not certain any of this will lead to that, I am paying close attention.

I would say, “that’s why I am paid the big bucks,” but of course I have not made a lot of money since I gave up male modeling years ago. No, I am not living the monastic life of chastity or poverty, well at least not poverty, but my personal existence is pretty humble. Yea, I live in a nice house that pretty much my wife paid for, but I drive a small regular car, I wear jeans and t-shirts, I do not surround myself with possessions, and all of that is because I have found that those things often get in the way of seeing clearly.
Flames and smoke can cloud clarity too, but flames can purify as well. And, I am contemplating what all this means at this particular point in my life.
So please keep me in your prayers. I do believe that for now I am right where I belong.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Upset…..

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I do not normally get upset about things, but I am asking for your prayers for me as I deal with a few issues here at the end of the day (not home ones) and then into tomorrow. I am sure they will all resolve, but they are difficult for me to be dealing with…..especially in my current state of mind. I have really had enough for one day.

So this is to say, I am heading to bed. Tomorrow will hopefully bring me some energy and a fresh perspective to face the day.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Hangin with the peep…….

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Well well well…..my wife and Mother-in-law (yes, I always capitalize it….she tells me to) are out for the night at Beef and Boards, which although I am not sure, but think is some type of restaurant/lumber yard. But regardless, they are gone, so my plans were to hang out with the boys (Ben and Scott) for the evening.

Unfortunately however, Scott called and let me know he had lacrosse practice tonight just leaving Ben and I alone. Oh no, I am not scared at all. He and I have a lot of fun together and the only time I worry about my demise is when he sees his mom and thinks he can have her all to himself. There are two points I want to make about this though….1) I am safe because of the principle of 3 year olds “out of sight out of mind,” and 2) he has my permission to have her all to himself because when she sees me she just gives me stuff to do and I am tired.
But regardless, we have been having fun. He has been giving me the business all night and just playing hard. He has already worn out the dog, which regular readers know is not that big a feat (it could be done by someone in a coma) and has made the cat go into hiding. His “bedtime” is in 5 minutes (8:30 EST) but being the nice guy I am I may fudge that a bit (like 8:28 or 8:29). Oh I kid…..I just have fun with him, so I am not too concerned. He will go to bed soon though.
So my hangin-time (yep I am hip, groovy, and all that) is just about done, but I will just have to deal with it. Youngsters these days need to get their sleep and it is really vital to make sure that they are not being grouchy the next day.
So that’s why I am heading to bed. Ben will just have to fend for himself.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Manly things……

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Although I have been away ALL DAY, Ben has had his mom and his Nanny hopping all day long. In preparation of getting his picture taken tomorrow morning he went to get his first haircut. It was something that did not make me too happy, in that I am a man and I believe men go to a thing we call BARBERS, and barbers work in BARBERSHOPS.

Of course, my barbers (Chuck and Tony) and I lost out, because Ben ended up going to a place they call “Cookie Cutters,” which apparently is a place where they put you in a plastic car, let you watch cartoons and then cut your hair crooked with cooking utensils. Oh yes, AND they charge you too.
As you can tell, I am not a fan of the commercialization of tradition. The same guys cut my hair and even though I have moved about 25 miles away, they will continue to. Scott gets his hair cut there, and soon Ben will. A barber to a man is a very personal thing, and the barbershop is an important place in our lives. Sure there are guys who like to have the young ladies cut their hair, but I have no interest in watching women or cartoons, and I am going to get my haircut, not to go someplace that smells like flowers or where they give you water in a wine glass.
But he will get to my barber soon enough. There are just some things that I need to see him do!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Tails (yes it is spelled wrong) from the dog house…..

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Ben wanted to “save big money at Menard’s” tonight, and so Amanda and her mom reluctantly took him along on their shopping trip. (Amanda was the reluctant one, his grandma would take him anywhere) But since Scotty was at work, and while I was alone, I thought I would earn some “brownie points” (which I do not know why they are so important to earn, especially since I was kicked out of the Boy Scouts before even making “tenderfoot”) by cleaning the kitchen while everyone was gone.

But shortly after I got the dishwasher running I remembered that my mother-in-law wanted to buy another Roma tomato, which I thought was something they might forget, so I called them. And sadly I discovered that my night was going to be a rough one.
If you have been a husband and a father for any length of time you will know that when your child, and it doesn’t matter which child, is causing problems for your spouse it will be YOU who will be in trouble. Sadly the misbehaving is ALWAYS blamed on genetics and the misbehaving parts of your children will always be attributed to YOUR DNA and not your spouse’s. And if I thought there was a chance to argue that point I just might, but who would be dumb enough to argue with a scientist.
So when I called out of courtesy to talk about produce it was clear that it was my DNA that was wailing in the closed confines of the car at whatever location they were. And my wife, who is generally very pleasant (always when sleeping and most of the time while awake) was quite curt to me on the phone. But in all honesty, it was probably her fault. I am sure he probably just saw some $250 Transformer at the Wal-Mart and she selfishly probably bought all of us food instead. She can be like that, an unreasonable tyrant at times I swear.
So the dog house will house more than the dog this evening. And actually, if the truth be known, the dog hardly sleeps in it at all (he is a 1st class show dog with good DNA). But when tomorrow comes Ben will be all full of hugs and kisses and his crimes will be forgotten. But I will just stay here in the dog house waiting for him to return.
I really tire of all the travel, and to be honest, it’s not so bad when you get used to it.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+
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A boring boring post…..

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Well it is 10 o’clock and Ben is in MY bed with his mom, Scott and the dog are in the basement playing music, my mother-in-law is in her room getting ready for bed, and the cat would have abandoned me too if it were not for the cat treats I keep in my office. (I particularly like them because I cannot find them in my calorie book, so I figure they do not count for me.)

But in truth, it has been a long day. Today we attended the funeral of the father of our Board President, Sarah Crowmer. Her father Milton had fought Alzheimer’s for over 10 years. Her mom died 5 years ago, and it was hard to see her so broken up. She is like a sister to me, and she is Ben’s Godmother. I just ask your prayers for her and her family. She is a pretty good egg, and like I said like a sister to me…….a much older sister. (see, we are like siblings)
So tomorrow morning I am scheduled in Nashville, and I am looking forward to it. I was originally scheduled in Kokomo, but I am going up there for a particular event this time, so we postponed it a week. I love being able to see all the people in all our missions. It is one of the blessings of my position.
But for now it is just the cat and I eating these treats. I am making sure she eats all the seafood ones since I am allergic, and it appears to be about as wild as I will get to be tonight. Oh if only reality TV would do a show on us!
Of course it would have to be done filming pretty early……..we are obviously not a very exciting group of guys.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Moving down in the polls……

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I love my kids, but when there is a grandma around I do not get as much time. As an example, I was following Ben to get this picture, but he really just wants to hang with Nanny. And even at dinner, though I was gone the last couple of days, he protested sitting by me, choosing (but not getting) instead his Nanny and Mommy.

But thus is the life of a dad. At one point in your life, your wife, who is then your girlfriend, hangs on your every word…..but suddenly a few years later, no one really listens at all, and your rank goes from number one to somewhere in the teens, even behind the dog and the cat. As an example, I am here in my office typing this while everyone else is downstairs……even “man’s best friend,” that traitor the dog. He has probably had 10 biscuits today and all of them from me. Does he remember? Nope, not even him.
But I am not bitter nor even surprised. It is the life I expected. Being a dad is a great honor and privilege and even though there is occasional “rank loss,” if you are faithful and steady sooner or later things come back around. After all, Amanda throws like a girl and in a few years he will tire of that. And sometime tomorrow that traitor is going to want to go for a walk, or better yet need another biscuit. The cat just uses me like all cats use everyone. (Cats are always 1-10 in their own book), so I will not worry. And sooner or later I will be the grandpa and everyone will love me again.
Because as I said, I am not bitter, but I will remember. I won’t be giving them a thing, but I intend to spoil the daylights out of my grand kids!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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O Peoria, who’d-a-thought……..

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Well, it finally happened. I finally was part of a service more mind-blowing than my previous record, which was in 1987.

Tonight, in St. Andrew’s Anglican Church in Peoria, we ordained Greg Lynn to the Diaconate. And what made this mind-blowing was that my boss, an Anglican Mission Bishop, had invited the Diocesan Bishop of Quincy to come and take part. St. Andrew’s is in the Diocese of Quincy, and it was a delight to be a part of two bishops sending forth a young man into the ordained ministry. BUT the Bishop of Quincy is the Abbot of a monastery not far from there and he brought some of the brothers and TWO other bishops. That’s right, four bishops, which if you were playing chess would be a complete set, and something I had never seen or been a part of.
Now of course everyone commented about how special it was that Greg had four bishops there, not once considering that perhaps he needed them. But rather than digress into a discussion of Greg’s needs, let me say that it was just an amazing time, and I was not just blessed by it, we ALL were. And Greg is now ordained and is heading toward launching a church that the people of Peoria will be blessed by too. He is a quality guy with a great wife and kids. It has been a wonderful evening, so it is off to bed so I can get up and drive home tomorrow.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Coincidence….I swear!

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(YES, this is an old picture)

It is all a coincidence I swear. I will be leaving for Peoria, Illinois tomorrow morning, and it just happens to be the same day that my Mother-in-Law is coming for a 11 day visit. It seems that a lot of people are questioning my integrity on this one, but I in fact am leaving for work.

I am a priest, and no where near being a Bishop (nor would I want to be) but it was the bishop who scheduled the ordination I am heading to tomorrow. And sure, I know he and I are friends, and I know that some may say, “I bet he paid Doc to schedule then,” but nope…it was all his idea. If the truth be known, I will be happy to attend the ordination, but would have been happy to see my Mother-in-Law too.
Yes, I am one of those guys who gets along with his…….we actually like each other. But really, who wouldn’t want me to marry their daughter? Amanda was a real mess, and is still a work in progress. And I am sure everyone who knows her is thinking, “yeah, thank God for him in her life.” She is one blessed woman. (Yep we will see if she really reads these blogs like she says she does or not, won’t we?)
But I will be home soon enough and get plenty of family time……not with Ben, mind you. Because with his “Nanny” around there is really no use in even trying to get his attention. Nothing is closer than a boy and his grandma!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Boxing Day, Tirman Style……..

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I am not really all that sure what “Boxing Day” is, but when Ben asked us to be able to take a nap in an old moving box this afternoon, I decided that Boxing Day must have something to do with it. So Ben hauled up the box, his Spiderman pillow, and his Cubs blanket and climbed into the box to take a nap.

It actually reminded me of my cousin Steve, who a few years ago in order to understand homelessness talked about sleeping in a box, I believe in downtown Valparaiso. I am not sure whether he ever did or not, but one thing I can say was that if he did, Ben was much more comfortable. His box was even sprawled upon wall to wall carpeting.
And a good nap it was! He slept about 3 hours and when he awoke, he was very proud of himself. Apparently it is a big accomplishment to sleep in a box for so long, and I really wasn’t aware of that because the only mammal I ever saw do such a thing was the cat, but she can sleep anywhere.
So as they say, everything is clearer in hindsight, and knowing what I learned today I would have forgone the crib and the beds I have bought him and just grabbed a box from somewhere.
Lord knows he likes my bed better than his own anyway….and in truth, I think his cost more.
Oh well, live and learn.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+