Monthly Archives: September 2010

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Confessions of a Bull….formerly in a china shop…..

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Today was not what I had planned. Other than waking up and going to bed, and the premarital session I did tonight, everything was flipped on its head.

Some days of course are like that, and though I am well prepared to deal with them, today I would not have done as well as I did without the help of some my staff.
I used to be the kind of guy that would never ask for help, and looking back at those days I wonder how I ever survived. I screwed up more than I’d care to admit, and I am thankful for coming to grips with the reality that I needed to change…..or better yet, I am thankful that reality came to grips with me and changed me.
You see, what some would consider tragedy actually opened my eyes and heart to a whole new world. Sure, sometimes I still close them and attempt to bull my way right through, but often with your eyes closed, even with your head down, you run into something a lot harder than you. I cannot say that I have learned completely (I tell Amanda to be patient because I am a work in progress) bit I am still learning. And that, I believe, is a big key to growth in life.
SO…….I am going to bed while I feel at least a little bit relaxed with the satisfaction that nothing is on fire and to my knowledge the police are not looking for me. Tomorrow will be a new day and one I am looking forward to very much.
Thank God the day is done and thank Him again for this expanded vision. It feels much different, and much better, than it would with my old brain!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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The accidental callout…..

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Thank God for teenage girls!

I began the day with a lacrosse roster for 2011 of about 17 girls. I decided, since we have yet to be assigned a practice field, to have a gathering at a local ice cream place with these girls to talk about the upcoming season.
BUT….these are girls with a HEART for their team……so as I arrived at Culvers I was greeted by 10, count em, TEN new players! It was a great time, and we haven’t even had the callout yet.
So of course as I was entering the information on our website I got a call from our Board President who said they had a booth at the Freshman Fair this week and got a few girls (8) sign up. Of course I told her about tonight and how they were probably DOUBLES….so I read her MY LIST. Guess what??? That’s right, NO DOUBLES!
I am now convinced I just need to live at least FOUR more years! We begin conditioning on Monday and we will have a lot to teach and learn. I found out tonight that my Assistant Coach Corinne Gunter will not be returning next year, which saddens me a great deal, but we have picked up three new Assistants (in ALPHABETICAL order) Alexis Gadient, Bobbi Mills, and Jack Russell. It is going to be an exciting year.
So off to bed I go…with my mind utterly blown. It is going to be a great year!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Happy 100th Grandpa Tirman!

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Well today, had he lived this long, would have been my Grandpa Tirman’s 100th birthday. And although I do have a picture of he and I when I was quite young, I do not have a memory of him in person. What I do have however are his genes.

A lot of people throughout my life have asked me where my sense of humor comes from, and quite honestly, the answer is genetics. Most family gatherings from my line of the family blame this, I prefer the word “trace” this, back to my grandfather. The stories I have heard about him are inspiring, and if there really is anything negative at all for me to say about his life, it was that he left it far too young…….at 54 in 1965. And in a family with incredible longevity, his death has long stood out as an anomaly.
But today I will give credit to where credit is due……he was the true master of humor and my life has been less than it should have been growing up without him around. I am thankful however for the genes. Happy Birthday grandpa! Had I been thinking I could have blamed all those times I was sent to the office for being a smart (censored) on you…….but somehow I think it would have only worked with my dad (or any of the other Tirmans who possess that same awesome sense of humor)
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Come labor on…….

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Today, Amanda, Ben, and I spent a good portion of the day at St. Patrick’s doing some much needed work. There is still a lot to do, but we were able to get most of the things we wanted to get done today while we were there. Ben was a big help too! He spent a good portion of his time drinking my diet soda and running up and down the handicap ramp……obviously checking its structural integrity.

But I am posting early because we are now home. I do need to do a few things around here as well, but I can say I really wasn’t all that disappointed to find out I was missing a few things I needed to start the big project…..repainting the deck. It’s not that hard of a job, and one I do intend to finish today. It’s just that I am tired (probably due to not being able to have an entire diet soda to myself) and I think I just want to take a short nap.
But this early note is to say that I hope you are enjoying the holiday. There are so many blessings all around us, and I am thankful for them all. But most of all, I am thankful for the nap I am sneaking too right now!
Goodnight (in the afternoon!) and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Getting cool…….

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It’s quiet out here on the back porch tonight. The sun is just setting and is a wonderful 65 degrees. Amanda, Ben, Viper and I just returned from a trip over to St. Patrick’s, where I put in all the screens, and we made a list of a few things we need to do there. Hopefully over the next few days we will be able to accomplish a few projects there as well as at the house.

But the reality is that this is the end of Summer. Yes, I know not literally, but in terms of how we as Americans live. And ironically, the weather seems to be playing along. A few weeks back it was just too hot to sit out here……today it is great. I do love all the seasons, but I love sitting out here in the Fall and the Spring the best. (Sure, I have TRIED it in the Winter, but it’s a bit much even for me.)
We have had a great time on this porch, but hopefully this will be my last September 5th here. Scotty will graduate next May, and we would like to move to the country somewhere, mostly as a mental health thing for me. I want to have things like a garden, a fire pit, a barn, and a place to raise and train Goldens. God willing, next year we will be in that place.
But for now I am thankful for this place. It has been a real blessing to be here and I still have a lot of time to enjoy it. So I will sign off for now and head out to the deck and the porch swing with the dog. It’s only 8:30 here, and I intend to enjoy the blessings of the rest of the night!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Hurry hurry hurry………

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I just got off the phone with my mother-in-law. She was calling to say hi, probably not to me or her daughter, but to her grandson Ben who is always VERY interested in telling her every detail of his life. I told her (politely) that I needed to sign on and finish this. Ben and Amanda are visiting Amanda’s good buddy Ann Yolish, who now lives in California (but is here this weekend at home) and is a Purdue graduate (not the chicken…they actually have a college!) and probably pretty depressed since my Notre Dame Fighting Irish handled them mightily this afternoon. But once again….I digress.

Ben and Amanda BOTH made it clear that they were going to Skype with Nanny and Aunt Rhonda tonight, which means that the computer I USE FOR WORK will be commandeered to achieve their evil, I mean just purposes (as opposed to “Just Porpoises” which is a movie starring Justin Timberlake). So needless to say I am faster tonight than Speed Racer, trying to finish both my sermon and blog.
I will be in Kokomo tomorrow with the good people there…among them, the newly ordained Father Kevin Middlesworth and his wife and toddler son. Kevin is a priest we would LOVE to see here, but his wife is due with twins and he has moved from Florida up with his in-laws to Wheaton, Illinois. We intend to plant a church with him someday, but for now he needs a j0b with INSURANCE up there. If you know of anything let me know. He is a talented priest and web designer…a great guy to have on board.
Anyway, I need to be done. I am not afraid of my mother-in-law or sister-in-law, but I am afraid of my wife and son. Last time I crossed them they tried to put me into the nursing home.
SO……goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Choosing the good portion…….

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Tonight we are outside. I am on the porch, Ben and Viper are in the yard, Puddy is on the roof, and Amanda is sitting on the porch swing (it’s on the deck) reading a book. Scott and Steph are both teenagers and Steph is in college. I only hope they are in their respective states.

But in truth, it is the perfect way to head into the holiday weekend. I have to write a sermon, but that’s really all that is on my schedule tomorrow. I may try and do a couple of visits, but it should be a good day to catch up. I know a lot of folks try to pack a lot in on a holiday, but I really like to relax better. Hopefully that is just what we are heading for.
So I am pretty content. I get to spend Sunday with the good people at Christ the King in Kokomo and on Monday Amanda is probably going to surprise me with breakfast in bed, a great lunch and scratch my back all day long. (I am sure I will not be disappointed.)
But for now I will just enjoy the night. I LOVE the cool breeze and watching the clouds blow by.
Life is good, and I am thankful for its blessings!
Tommy+
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Finding my place…….reflections of my mid-life

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A few days ago I posted something upon Facebook about a “mid-life” crisis. It really was a joke because I do not want a sports car (they are too small), a motorcycle (they are dangerous because people just drive too crazy now), or a girlfriend (I have trouble enough just with the wife I have). Sure, I have heard about living one’s life to the fullest, and I know that one of (if not all of) the Billy Crystal cowboy movies deal with seeking it at my age, and I am just too dang young for a “bucket list.” (I don’t watch too much TV or see a lot of movies, so I apologize for the vague references.)
But my post got me thinking…….what would be the very thing I could do that would reflect the fact that I am healthily dealing with middle age, yet also reflect my personality? Honest of God I was thinking about it, when a former player and captain of mine, Hannah Wishart (IU 2012 and yes, someone should give her a high-paying job) sent me just the thing. It may be a commercial, but those who know me will say, “yep, that fits.” Everyone else will probably “unfriend me.” Regardless, I’d gladly do this every year until I die, and maybe then some.
I hope you enjoy! THANKS HANNAH!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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It is what it is…….

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In my life I have come to a deep understanding of the concept that “it is what it is.” I had a doctor appointment today, one of three this month, and I filled out the update form on my medical history. At 49, with a stroke, a load of orthopedic surgeries, two sisters in heaven ahead of me, and a severely diabetic mom with Alzheimer’s i a nursing home, I felt like I was checking every box. (I didn’t check two. I have not had a hysterectomy and I am not pregnant….that I know of.)

I used to get pretty frustrated by all that, but not anymore……..because it is what it is. You know, I have had to deal with a lot in this life, but focusing or obsessing on it doesn’t change a thing. If you ask me, I have it pretty good. I still get to live this life and intend to live it well.
Sure, it would be nice to live it with a buff body (meaning mine) and a brain at 100%. But in all honesty, I am still in pretty good shape for middle age, and as for my brain, well we have become friends! It may not work like it used to, but where one area falters another picks up. I really have learned my blind spots, and the relearning and adapting has opened up for me a life I could not have imagined. My mind whirls and whirls now, but it too is what it is. I have come to enjoy riding its wave, and it truly has opened up a whole new world to me. I am a better man, a better father, and a better priest for what I used to believe to be a tragedy.
Anyway, I will check every box but two again soon, and it is what it is, but isn’t it grand? No, it’s not a delusion, it’s just a fact. God has blessed me with so much and He continues to give me wonderful opportunities. I am in for the long haul too. Too many people focus on the negative, and I could too. That however, would blind me from the truth.
This life is what it is, and it is meant to be lived! I am living it, are you? My hope and prayer is that you are. We can’t change things we have no control over, we can only change ourselves.
I love my life, and I intend to keep at it.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Lacrosse (or goofball) memories……..

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I posted on my Facebook account on Monday that Father Irish and I, because the Internet was not usable at our hotel, headed to his favorite hangout…..Panera. There we could have lunch AND Internet and hopefully be able to finish up our work.

Oddly enough though, this Panera had been one that I had stopped at for lunch with a group of girls from my lacrosse team last summer. These were top-notch lacrosse players, who although just off our very first and only appearance in the Final Four, still chose to head to a Division 1 camp at Ohio State to further develop their skills. I was impressed with their dedication and intensity….right up until we got into the van to head there.
These girls love music, although I am not sure that’s what I would call it. They had a CD of tunes from as early as my day, and all of them were ones I would never listen too, even at gunpoint. They also talked, and almost exclusively about boys, which of course as a dad is never a good conversation to overhear. And then the cell phone prank calls and the singing of show tunes made me wonder why they were all girls that guys wanted to date.
But in truth, I know……they are great girls! One of the things I love about my team is the personalities of the players. Yep, they can be irreverent, and they will laugh always more than they cry. But in the end, they know what they are about. We may not win every game, but it is not for lack of effort or determination. They get things done, and often I think their apparent irreverence disarms opponents who think they are not serious. That is a serious mistake.
So as a core group of the number 4 team in Indiana arrived at that Panera last summer it was hard to tell who they were. They ate, they laughed, they played and then they constructed the famous (or infamous) “pyramid of death” out in front of the Panera in front of all the patrons and in clear sight of all the traffic on the busy street. It was awesome and these pictures prove it.
Within an hour they all checked into the camp and survived the week. And, the trip home was as screwy as the trip there. But a few of those girls in the picture were leaders of team that is now no more, and those leaders have left for college. But the rest remain….well trained and capable of leading us on. Sure, they are just as irreverent and screwy. But when game time comes the smiles are set aside and the intensity kicks up. These girls obviously suck at gymnastics (and group singing) but they are some of the finest players I know. I am blessed to be their coach.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+