Monthly Archives: August 2008

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Of good news and bad news………

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My mom’s doctors were worried that her seizure a few weeks ago was possibly a tumor, but we received word today that it is not the case. Though a relatively young woman, just 68, she has been in failing health for many years. She had to retire early and went into assisted living maybe about 10 years ago, and has been in a nursing home for about the last five. I am her last living child since my sisters Stephanie and Sarah died in 2001 and 2004 respectively. But clearly, and my mom would tell you this, I am the least suited to take care of her. We have had a rocky relationship all our lives, yet we are stuck with each other! Fortunately we can laugh at it, and do our best.

My mom is either sharp or confused, and never in between. She is pretty funny when she is sharp, but hard to deal with otherwise. She is diabetic, yet never watches her sugar, and has smoked, as she will confess, since she was 12. She frustrates me by her lack of concern for her health, yet I continue to make sure she is taken care of. The Bible says to honor your parents…….and though she often makes it hard, I will comply.

A few weeks ago my mom began telling everyone she had a brain tumor, which when they ordered the MRI seemed as if it were a possible episode of the Twilight Zone. She still tells everyone she does, and describes a visit with a doctor who told her about it in great detail, yet it never really happened. I have told her that, and told her there is no tumor, and will do so again tomorrow. What I will not tell her is what the doctor told me……..my mom has Alzheimer’s Disease, and this may just be par for the course.

My mom will not notice the difference in her care, or in her world at all. There is however, a difference in me. My frustrations with her for years have clearly been unwarranted, and for them I am sorry. She frustrated my sisters too, yet I am sure they have known all this for years and if they could tell me I am certain they decided not to, knowing I could suffer later instead! Sisters can be cruel! (of course not my sister Anna, she is saint…as long as you don’t ask my brother Mike!)

But I ask that you keep my mom in your prayers…..her name is Kay Tirman. Her road, though it has been difficult, will get better, and I will do my best, as I have been, to make sure she is cared for.

Okay, this day has come to an end! Goodnite my friends and keep the faith!

Tom+

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Of Church and Organized Religion…………

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If there is one thing I have always hated about the Church it is the politics. When I was a kid I was quite sheltered from it, but as an adult, and particularly as a priest, I see it all the time! I often ask unchurched people I meet why they don’t go to Church, and am often given the response “because I hate organized religion.” My response to them, without variation or reservation is, “well so do I!”

I think that is part of why we have been pretty successful in the planting of Churches over these last 19 months…..because we have worked hard to not be like other Churches and we have changed our DNA. As a Church are not meant to be an “organization,” we are meant to be a CHURCH. We are the people of God gathered together to build up the Body of Christ in our world. We are to pray, heal, teach, preach, show compassion and mercy, and quite a few other things I would be able to remember if I had a whole mind. But too often churches become “who’s who’s,” and more concerned about monies, budgets, and buildings over Jesus and the people He came to save.

I believe with my whole heart we do not have to follow the bad road (though churches have done it for centuries). Where I have to have a Masters degree to be a priest (and I even have a Doctoral degree) the original disciples were uneducated fishermen and tax collectors among other things. They didn’t form task forces, long range financial plans, nor did they lock their progress up in committees or slow it down in politics. They loved the Lord, they cared for people, and they faithfully walked forward trying to fulfill mission over structure. They never intended to form “organized religion.” They only intended to serve the Lord.

Perhaps this world would be a better place if we hadn’t lost sight of that…..but more than that, perhaps it still can be if we regain that sight. We’re trying here, and I invite you to come join us.

Okay, off of my soapbox and off to bed! Goodnight my friends, and remember, your relationship with God is not about a Church, but about you……and your heart.

Fr. Tom+

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Of the unintentional path to snoozyland…….

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Today has been a difficult day. I did way too much over the weekend, and experienced a lot of problems, particularly today. BUT, as I came into the house finally this afternoon at three and sat down to watch a little TV, my body took over……it was suddenly 7, and though I had no intention of having that happen, it was a welcome break!

I think Amanda can tell I have been struggling. She has written a few blogs for me, and I know she still would, but I want to not just dive into the safety net every time I struggle. Even without a stroke, life isn’t always easy, and I believe it really can destroy your sense of direction, and even your self-worth, if you too often take the escape routes every time something gets hard. Clearly my life is very challenging now, but if I don’t engage it, I know I will regret it later. And though it is often harder to take the path I am on, in the end I believe it is all worth it….just like the Robert Frost poem!

I know I often talk about my stroke and my struggles with it, but that’s because it is constantly in front of me. If you spend time with me, you may not see it at all, but I see it all the time. I really don’t mean to have it dominate anything I write about or talk about, but my dealing with it is part of how they say I get better. My expectations for myself are very high, yet my progress with it is way too slow (for me at least). Hopefully in time I will not think about it, or see it before me at all.

Until then, I suppose you will have to deal with me……part of your hard and uneasy path I am sure. But for now me and my struggles are going to head to bed, for intentional naps are far better than the non-intentional ones. And I am looking forward to a restful night and a peaceful end to this exhausting weekend!

Keep the faith my friends!

Tom+

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Of long days and the priests who do them…….

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Today was a day WAY BEYOND what I was capable of doing, and though I have made it to the end, I do have to say I am exhausted!

We began the day in Greenfield where we collected food for the Hancock County Food Pantry. It was hot, though not unbearable. But being out in the Wal-Mart parking lot in black pants, black shoes, and a black shirt can make it a lot hotter than it really is! The good news is that we collected a lot of food, people were very friendly, and we had a pretty good time. You know you can go places all over the state and see sports teams, or Red Hat ladies, or even motorcycle clubs, and not think a thing of it…..but seeing 5 clergy out in a Wal-Mart lot collecting food was truly a eye-catcher!

From Greenfield I drove back to Noblesville to get my family, and we then headed down to Nashville. We did some work on the new facility there before heading to our final service at the Brown County Vineyard Church. It was bittersweet to leave. Sure, we are excited about moving to a new facility, but the Vineyard Church has been very good to us and they are very dedicated and gracious Christians. We appreciate all they have done for us and for supporting us as we were growing our Church. We will certainly keep them in our prayers, and we hope you do too…..they are fine people, who do the Lord’s Work!

Father Sean was at everything today too! I hope we do not send him to an early grave, because he looked exhausted! We were following each other on the Interstate heading home from Nashville, and as we were passing Franklin, Amanda and I thought it would be helpful to see if Sean wanted to just stay at our home tonight rather than heading up to Muncie. He has to be back here in Noblesville at 8am anyway! He was happy for the invitation, and it will buy him a couple extra hours sleep! Since he is doing the sermon at all our missions this weekend, the extra rest will be very helpful!

We have been letting Fr. Sean do all the services with me assisting him as he learns our model these past few weeks, but tonight I celebrated the Eucharist in Nashville. It surprised me, in that I clearly can’t just hop into it like before. To me it seemed very awkward. I got through it, but could tell I have lost a lot, in terms of my ability. Things like that frustrate me too, and they even scare me a bit, but I rationalized that if I would do the service every week, I might not struggle. It is like what they teach in speech therapy….practice, practice, practice. You relearn and get around a stroke. But if you stop learning or practicing, it can bite you in the rear……at least it does (and did) with me! I hope to not forget that learning…..but I probably will! I forget everything!

Anyway, things seem to have settled down tonight and it is now just about 11pm! (I think these things post on Pacific Time) So I will call it a night and God Willing wake up to a new day full of new opportunities! As I said, I am exhausted, but I am thankful to make it through such a busy day. I do feel I am getting more stamina……..now if I can just muster up some brain cells and some memory!

Nite….and God bless.

Fr. Tom+

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Of telephone, gossip, and faith…..by Amanda

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Have you ever played the game “Telephone” or “Gossip”? I have heard it referred to as both names, but it is essentially the same game. I remember learning it in elementary school where it was used to teach our class a lesson on spreading rumors. It is also used in some team building workshops to understand about the power of ineffective communication. Regardless the reason for playing the game, the message is the same….the more people you put between the person giving and receiving the message, the more chances there are to mix up the message. Sometimes so many of the words are changed by the end of the communication line that the entire intent of the message has changed drastically.

I find the lesson of the Telephone game to have a lot of application in my life of faith as well. The only way to never misunderstand what God is telling us is to receive it directly from Him. Too often, we have put other people or things in the way of that message and allow it to be distorted. Dave Ramsey makes a great reference to this when he says in his Financial Peace University lesson “If you find a pre-approved credit card offer in your mailbox, it does not mean that God has answered your prayers and you can go buy the new boat you have your eye on!” With a much better sense of humor that I have, he is saying the same thing…our guidance on what to do, how to live, who to be and where to go in life only come from one place…the word of God. And that message has to come directly from Him in accordance with His word.

So if the message you believe you are receiving from God does not come directly from Him, or is in conflict with His word, then it is a good idea to ask again. Keep your relationship with the Lord personal and deep so that you are able to hear what he is saying to you. Don’t allow others to filter the message for you….hear it from His heart to your ears. God bless!

Amanda

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Of hammers, birthdays, and doing our part to protect the environment………

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What a day!!

I came home tonight after a full and long day in Nashville. I was out the door at 6:30am, and home at 7:30pm. We got a lot accomplished, and it looks great, but I was probably over the top with activity by 10.

The highlight of the day was that it was Deacon Dan Conley’s birthday today, and we were able to share in a little pizza and cake with him. We only put 1 candle on the cake, since we know that the number we needed was out of our price range, Dan could probably not blow out more than that, and plus we are concerned for the environment. So it was Pizza King and cake, two of my favorite things, and I sat their through lunch wondering if it were indeed my birthday!

We will move to this location in just a little over two weeks. Our service in Nashville is currently on Saturday evening at 5:00pm. On August 31st it will move to Sunday at 9:00am. We expect to grow there with the better time too.

Overall it was a great day. Dan Prather from St. Patrick’s came down to help and a few parishioners from St. Matthew’s stopped in as well. Father Sean was with us, and he’s been great! I believe all of this has been a great learning for him. Of course by this point he probably thinks he works for a construction company instead of a Church, but in truth it really is so much more than worship. In a very real way we help people build and rebuild lives. We help them lay down good foundations, repair and repaint damaged souls…..and occasionally do secular construction too! But it is all good work, and for the opportunity we are all thankful.

Nite my friends and God Bless…..I am off for some Advil and sleep!

Fr. Tom+

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Apparently home too early…..you are stuck with me!!

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Well, after Amanda posting three of the last four days for me, I figured I best get back and get at it. I really do not want to be replaced, nor do I need the pressure. She does however write in a very moving and thought-provoking way that reflects a deep faith…a style that clearly makes me wonder which one of us is really the ordained one! I just do not have the mind to write like her right now, though I AM working on it……but she writes so well that I wonder if I have EVER had such a mind!

You know, people often ask me why I became a priest, and to be truthful, I often wonder that myself! I suppose I could say because I was called to be, and yes Regis, that’s my final answer. Do I think I belong here? Often, no…..but I am not the One who decides that, anymore than I could decide where I was born, or who my parents are. In truth it’s God that calls us to the places we find ourselves (if we listen)…..so there you go, yes, I am indeed blaming it on God.

But seriously, I am a Christian, and like many others I have listened and followed because of how Jesus changed my life. I really never thought I would end up a priest (neither did anyone who knew me), let alone to be one for almost 20 years, but in the Lord’s defense, I have been a good one, and that’s a decision that I suppose reflects His Wisdom. You see, He always sees more in us than we ever do in our own selves, and as we open ourselves up to His Vision for us, we find our lives take turns in the most surprising and spectacular ways!

Personally I have no regrets at all about where I am and what I am doing with my life. I do wonder where He is calling me now that my whole world seems turned on its head in my rehab. But the way to find out is the way we all should walk…….by listening and by being faithful. In truth the Lord wants us all to succeed and to reach our full potential. My life is indeed changing. Will I still be a priest? Sure I will, but HOW I am to do it He is currently working on. I believe He is in the process of working another miracle in my life!

But I believe He works miracles in all our lives if we let Him. We just have to trust Him and allow Him to work! He has done well by me!

And I know, or better yet I promise, that if you let Him, He will do well by you as well!

Nite my friends and God Bless!

Tom+

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Taking him back out of the saddle…….but just as a favor

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It is late and Tom is still en route to home from a meeting for the launching of St. Paul’s in Greenfield. I thought I would help him out.

My friend, Ashley, recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl names Lucy Jane. I had the honor of seeing her when she was only 2 days old. Such a precious tiny miracle to see! I am just so amazed by the miracle of life. We have prayed for her during the pregnancy, and the Lord blessed us all with her as she came into our world.

Babies are keenly aware of their need for care from their parents. It seems like they know right where to find comfort and security…snuggling up in the arms of Mommy or Daddy. They are loved, fed, changed, bathed, soothed, and nurtured constantly. All this is so obvious! But where I am truly amazed is at their willingness to receive from their caregivers.

We are all children of God, and are cared for by Him as a parent does for a child. He loves us, feeds our spirit, provides for our needs, and guides us constantly. But the major difference between us and Lucy Jane is that we do not have an unhindered ability to receive from our caregiver. If only we were able to automatically receive all He has to give us without thought, what a difference we would see in our lives! We know where to find our comfort and security, yet we often look in the wrong places to find it. I suppose if we start by acknowledging that we need what God has to offer us, then we might be in a better place to receive it.

When Lucy Jane is hungry, she knows where to turn, and her needs are met. So when your heart and soul are hungry, learn from Lucy! Know where to turn; open yourself up to receive it and your needs will be met! God bless.

Amanda

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Back in the saddle on the Walmart horse………

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Well I am happy to say that the fog has cleared, the lawn is mowed, the day is done, and Puddy and I (sans weedkiller) are finally relaxing out on the back porch. It is great to get here and feel so good. The foggy periods are very trying for me, and actually pretty disturbing. And I want to thank both Amanda and Scott for doing a little writing for me during that time. It is greatly appreciated. It is one thing to take out the trash for someone or to fold some laundry……it is write another to compose a blog entry when you have never done one. They are both troopers (and Ben’s too young and Steph is too smart!) For their help though, I am very thankful!

Tomorrow night in Greenfield we will be hosting an event that we have not ever tried before launching a Church (we are launching there in September). It is called a “Meet and Greet” and all our clergy will gather together at a restaurant and just have an old fashioned “social” of sorts. We will provide soft drinks, coffee, and desserts. I will speak a little bit about what we are doing, and then we will give people the opportunity to just chat with us and ask questions. Our hope is that it goes well. Greenfield is a place where there has never been an Anglican Church, and we are excited to have the opportunity to launch there. Our friends at the First Presbyterian Church there are allowing us to use their Church as a worship site. We will start there September 7th!

This Saturday another big event will take place in Greenfield too. On Saturday morning, from 9:00am to 11:30 am, thanks to the generous people at the Greenfield Walmart, we (our Clergy and a few others) will be collecting canned goods and non-perishable items for the Hancock County Food Pantry on the far end of the Walmart parking lot between the O’Charley’s and the Murphy Gas. Though we have yet to hold a worship service, we want to hold up our intention of reaching out to those in need. Jesus calls us to feed the hungry, and what better way to start out than this?

Anyway, it is great to be out of the fog and back in the race!! Thanks for your patience and understanding, and thanks again to Amanda and Scott. The foggy periods are not as frequent anymore (praise the Lord!) but it’s good to know that others are watching out for me when they happen. I am truly blessed!

Good nite my friends and God Bless.

Tom+

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Of deep fog and the need for a clear voice…….

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I am sorry to report that this weekend I went into a real fog, and though I was able to work, I did not feel as if I was really connecting with people. As I sat down to write tonight, I found another incedible block…..fortuantely Amanda offered to write another for me. It follows….thanks Amanda!!!

Tom+

From Amanda:

I am reading a great book called Intercessory Prayer by Dutch Sheets. I decided to read it because I don’t think I really understand the power of prayer, and I certainly don’t fully understand the concept of intercessory prayer. I am only on page 75, but it has been fantastic and very thought-provoking for me. There was a story the author shared about a friend who was powerful in prayer, but was unable to intercede on behalf of his gravely ill son with his prayers alone. So he called and asked for help from friends with intercessory prayer for his son. After his son was healed, he asked the Lord why he needed help in overcoming the illness, why his prayers alone were not enough. The answer he received from the Lord was “Sometimes the covenant of the Lord is released to you through others coming to your aid.” (I don’t do justice to the story here, so you should read it for yourself on pages 68-70.)

I am a very fast reader, but for some reason I stopped at this point and actually put the book down (very unusual for me!). I was astounded at the lesson I had learned. For so long, I have been fearful or embarrassed of intercessory prayer, even the prayer we offer at our church after communion. I have noticed that very few people take advantage of the spiritual warfare that is available for them at church. I can’t help but wonder why?
Is it because others are also afraid? Or do they just not understand their need and the power that it can provide?

I don’t know all of the reasons, and if you are someone who is also not participating in intercessory prayer, I encourage you to find out your reasons why. For me, I always feel my needs or request are so small compared to what others may need, that I never want to “hoard” all the prayer time for my little problems! But here is the news…..our needs, no matter the nature, are never too big or small to bring before the Lord. And many times, the prayers of others may be needed for the Lord to work in our lives. All I can say is that the first time I ever leaned on the intercessors at church, my son was not sleeping at all during the night for about a week. They prayed for Ben and I after communion, and Sunday night, he slept the entire night. I know it sounds cheesy, but it is a true story.

I have decided to move past my insecurities about intercessory prayer and confront them head-on…after all, there is no way to get comfortable with it until you try! I encourage you to create your own experiences of intercessory prayer. Pray with others, ask other to pray for you and for those your know are hurting and may not be able to ask for themselves. Take your troubles to the Cross, and lay them at His feet with the aid of other’s that have been given the spiritual gift of intercessory prayer from the Lord Himself. It’s certainly worth a try! God bless!

Amanda