Of overloading circuts and blessed sleep……..

I am sitting out on that back porch again with the cat. Amanda’s mom and grandpa have headed back to their hotel and will be leaving to return to Kansas in the morning. Everyone else is in bed. It’s dark and it’s quiet, a great way to end the day.

It’s been a very busy and very taxing weekend for me…….clearly way over the top of what I am capable of doing right now. I tried to not let it all overwhelm me, but occasionally I know it showed. At the third service today Father Chuck offered to step in (thanks God) and all I had to do was the sermon. It was a great relief……I was pretty frazzled! It was nice to then just get home where I collapsed into my bed for a 4 hour nap while Amanda, Ben, her mom, and grandpa hit a few stores. Sleep is what really cures stroke problems….and it was just the thing I needed too.

Tomorrow however, will be the start of another busy week. Monday is of course Ben’s real birthday, but since we celebrated it on Saturday we do not have a lot planned. We will do a small family thing, but beyond that not too much. I do have a funeral on Tuesday,a clergy meeting in Nashville Thursday, and a wedding Saturday, all connected with other meetings throughout the week in order to prepare for them. Hopefully with a slow and steady, but forward-moving pace it will all go well. I always feel I can do it, it’s just when my body and mind act up (particularly my mind) doing things becomes difficult. It is frustrating too, because in my mind I still feel like me! I should be able to do what I always have! (My wife would tell you that my brain never really did work quite right, so I shouldn’t be worried about it….but little did she know the level of genius that existed pre-stroke. After all, you don’t look like I do and get a wife like her!!)

Anyway, my body and mind are calling me back to sleep…..so that’s where I will head. Another day is behind me, and I will toss its struggles away. Tomorrow is a big day…..our little guy turns one! Problems can wait! It’s time to play and sing….and of course get my last bit of cake for the summer!

Night and God bless!

Tom+

A party to remember…….

Today we celebrated Ben’s birthday with family and friends, though his birthday is really on Monday. It was a great time too. Ben had no clue as to why everyone was there. He was really quite puzzled as to why all the people were staring at him and singing, and he was even more confused as to why everyone would want to watch him eat cake. When he put his mouth down to his own personal birthday cake (it was pretty cute) everyone gasped with anticipation at the same time! It scared him to death, and he ended up crying before rediscovering the cake before him. Clearly he is my wife’s son…..she cries on her birthdays too!!

We also went down to Nashville for Church, and were traveling with Amanda’s mom and grandpa. It was a long day for everyone, and especially for Ben. He didn’t nap well because he didn’t want to miss anything, but it made for a cranky bedtime. He woke up pretty quickly and is now spending the night in our bed doing his usual routine…….loving up to his mom, and engaging with me in a territorial battle for the small space I occupy on the bed. I don’t mind, I will get him back later!

Anyway tomorrow is another big day! Thanks for checking in.

God bless.

Tom+

The return of the 10………

Today the ten players we dropped off at Northwestern for the Best of the Best Lacrosse Camp returned, and it was easy to see their transformation. Last year the two who went, my Assistant Coach’s daughter Maddi and my daughter Stephanie, came back much better players, yet they said they felt like fish out of water there because everyone was so much better. What a difference a year makes! This year, the ten shared that they were “deeply disappointed” that they lost by one goal in the championship game of the camp session (how did they develop that much???) and our goalie who also went to the camp, Jessica (we call her a Rock Star in goal) was named the top goalie of the whole camp! We are seeing some amazing transformation right before our eyes and now they want to get out and practice SOON even though our regular season begins in March of 2009!

It’s so cool! In a day and age that we see so much confusion and angst among teens, it is refreshing to see such positive focus. I am relatively new to the sport of lacrosse only having been an Assistant Coach one year and a Head Coach this past year. But in all my years of coaching (which there have been many in other sports) I have not seen such quality athletes or such enthusiasm. If I could just get them to stop singing loudly in the van when we travel I would say they would be just about perfect. But if they keep playing well and getting better, I may just wear earplugs and count my blessings.

Anyway, that’s about it for my post today……I just wanted to give a plug as a proud father and coach. Tomorrow is the day we are celebrating Ben’s first birthday, so I have a bit of work to do. (His actual birthday is Monday) But I wanted to post before my wife put me to work as pre-party labor.

Goodnight….and God Bless.

Tom+

Ode to St. Matthew’s in Nashville……well worth the trip!!

Tonight Amanda, Scott, Ben and I drove down to Nashville for a meeting. It started out sunny and warm, but by the time we were south of Indianapolis, there were thunderstorm warnings, and two of them were crossing ahead of us on the highway we were on! It was one of those “grip the steering wheel tight” trips as I struggled at times to see the road. If everyone would have just cooperates, slowed down, and TURNED ON THEIR LIGHTS, the whole thing would have been a lot less stressful. Fortunately we, and everyone else we saw on the road, made it through the storm(s). And it was good for Scott to see such adverse conditions on just his 9th day of driving…..I was just thankful he was not behind the wheel (and so was he!)

Nashville is one of our favorite places in the world. We love going there! It is perhaps the most beautiful part of the state, and it is filled with some of the most hospitable people. Amanda and I got engaged there (perhaps it was the high altitude that made her say yes) and the kids love that little fudge shop in town.

Of course we planted a church there, not because we love it there, but because of its faithful people. St. Matthew’s may be the smallest of all our missions, but it always has the best attendance in terms of percentage of its membership. The people there are just highly committed, and they have a true appreciation for their Church and their faith. They are a blast to be around too!

Our meeting went well, as did our trip home. The trip home was much less eventful than the trip down. But all our trips to Nashville are well worth it! I hope you can get down there and see why. And, if you get the chance after a Saturday of shopping (and maybe even eating fudge) stop by and see the good people of St. Matthew’s. They are some of the finest people I know……….and after you meet them I am sure you will feel the same way!

I’m going back down to be with them this Saturday! Come join us!

God bless!

Fr. Tom+

GAFcon and other theological ramblings…..

For the last few days in Jerusalem, leaders of the orthodox-wing of the Anglican Church have been gathering at GAFcon (the Global Anglican Futures Conference) to discuss the crisis in our Communion. It is significant, in that it is a gathering of Godly people who are setting politics aside, in order to look at what it means to be faithful witnesses to Jesus in the midst of an Anglican expression.

Over the course of my entire life there has always been this draw to all things Anglican. People seemed to have such an unusual desire to be connected to the “Mother Church,” and things like the Royal Wedding, and the Archbishop of Canterbury. I of course was among them…..it was always a cool thing to be a part of a church with such a rich and wonderful heritage, and there seemed to be no downside to that connection.

But after I became a priest I saw the picture quite differently. The quaint history was still there, but the Church was far from faithful. It was inundated with politics and positioning, and infected with secularism to such an extent that I wondered if it was terminal.

The answer to that was not far off, for as I worked to reform the Church from within, as was both my right and responsibility as a priest, I found deep resistance mainly from my bishop and others who professed faithfulness. When my conscience led me to retire from active ministry within the Episcopal Church and seek out Godly bishops and ministry, I was charged and labeled (by the Church I retired from – the Episcopal Church) as unfit for ministry and as departing from the faith. It’s appalling! People are being led toward hell by the Church itself and by its so-called leaders, and many who profess to agree with me are too weak or too afraid to stand. I like so many others just must wipe the dust from my feet and in faith move on as called by Christ.

The leaders at GAFcon are discussing the very same thing. Archbishop Akinola knows the difference between following Jesus and following something else, and so do I. Sadly, too many people I know who profess the importance of an orthodox faith seem more focused on following tradition instead. The risks for me however, are too high.

Faith is serious business. We cannot just talk the talk, we also must walk the walk. The Bible tells us that you cannot serve two masters, yet too many people try.

In the words of Joshua, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” I can do no less, and I hope you do the same. Too much is counting on it.

Your choices in this life count. Make sure you make the good ones!

God Bless and keep the faith…….a real and meaningful one!!

Fr. Tom+

“The Best of the Best”

Today, my Assistant Coach and I drove ten high school women’s lacrosse players (two of them were our daughters) up to Northwestern University for “The Best of the Best” Women’s Lacrosse Camp which runs through Friday. Top players from all around the country gather at this clinic which is led by the Northwestern Team who has won the NCAA title the last four years in a row. Last year only our two daughters, Steph and Maddi went. This year with ten of our girls going, we expect it to make a big impact on our team!

As a former youth minister who has travelled lots of places with high school youth, I learned something today…….high school girls are a lot easier to travel with than boys. They talk and they laugh, but generally are well behaved, and I didn’t need to turn and say “stop it” once! They are a pretty good bunch, and I not only appreciate their respect, but their dedication to the team and the sport. I am excited for them to be there.

Of course the day has been exhausting (4+ hours each way) but it was well worth it. As I look at my life I can see that I have not just been blessed by family and friends, but also by other people brought into my life by my kids. I have talked about the Lacrosse Community before here in Noblesville…..they never disappoint me and always amaze me. But the girls, and their parents, really affirm all the hard work we have put into this. They are wonderful kids on and off the field, but just when I think they have plateaued, the amaze me again.

I am sure the girls, while they are away in that dorm all together at camp, are going to be miserable because they miss us terribly….right! (Oh that even made me laugh!) But I know we miss them. I suppose it’s just good practice for what is coming our way. Just yesterday Steph was in preschool, watching Barney, and showing me how she could color in between the lines. Now she is driving, dating, and hanging out at a college all week. That little girl can still be sweet, all of them can I am sure, but when they put on those goggles and grab their sticks, they seem nothing less than intimidating. That’s how they want it, but they are all great kids.

Anyway, off to bed I go. Tomorrow is full of meetings and I am pretty wiped out from the day. I will need a good night’s sleep to make it through tomorrow. But I had to mention “The Best of the Best.” Some people think it’s a camp…..I know it’s our team. And I do not think you could ever convince me otherwise!

Nite and God Bless!

Tom+

No Lions, No Tigers, but Bears….oh my!!!

Today, June 23rd, was an important day in my life….it always is. On this day in 1989 I was ordained to the diaconate. Yep, it’s the 19th anniversary of my ordination.

But more important than even that is that today is my grandfather’s birthday. My grandfather passed away in 1996, but he was truly the architect of my life, and not a day goes by that I don’t miss him. He and I spent a lot of time with each other, and yesterday when Ben was wearing a number 34 jersey for pajamas, I thought about how my grandfather would have loved that…..after all 34 was worn by my favorite player of all time, Walter Payton, running back for the Chicago Bears. We were big Bears fans, and we still are…..but being in heaven he just has better seats to the games than I do now.

I remember fondly eating too much and then falling asleep every Sunday afternoon as my grandfather and I watched the games. He watched from his chair, and I from the davenport. I never thought that life would change in those days, and didn’t want it to. But his health failed, I grew up, and a lot of time has passed since then. I still watch the Bears, but it’s now with my kids. Walter Payton is gone too, to liver cancer, but I am sure he had a glorious welcome when he arrived, since the Bears are also God’s favorite team!

I thank God that even though my grandpa is gone, that one day I will see him again. And, I’m thankful that day wasn’t two months ago when I had my stroke, and I am sure he is too. But in God’s time I will get there….we all will. But for today I am thankful to share with you how very blessed I was to have my grandpa (who I remember this day on his birthday) in my life. If I turn out to be even half the man he was to me, I will be doing better than most people I know.

Thanks for everything grandpa! And Happy Birthday!

God Bless!

Tom+

Of birds, clouds, and sleeping babies…….

Well I suppose I should not complain. I am writing this on my back porch, with a glass of wine, and Ben fast asleep in his highchair (thanks Jo and Flo) right next to me! Steph is in the office working on a summer book report, and Scott and Amanda are out practicing driving (Scott is the one practicing too, Amanda is the supervisor!). The cat is out here with us looking through the screen at birds she will never get to chase (she is an indoor cat), and Mercy Me is playing on the CD player! All is well tonight in the Tirman home!

The weekend, all and all, went pretty well. I did all three services and only stumbled a bit on the last one. (I deserve the glass of wine!) But it did take a toll on me……I had to rest most of the afternoon. I have always heard that people who have suffered strokes need to sleep a lot and I can verify that to be true. When your brain says no more it really means it, and mine occasionally says it quite firmly. But, after a short nap, I feel just fine.

Actually, I am beginning to feel better than I have in a long time. I know I had a few miserable days at the end of the week, but they seem to be much more of an anomaly considering how good I feel now. It makes me quite hopeful for the future. Sure, I still worry about my memory and the reeling thoughts I have all the time, but I feel different, and that’s not just a good thing, it’s a big thing!

You know, I hear all the time “your much too young to have had a stroke,” and I want you to know I agree…..but it doesn’t change the reality of my world. Like anyone, I just meet each new day dealing with what comes my way. I am glad to be where I am, and thankful for the perspective this has given me and the blessings it has brought my way. I have seen the best in people and I have been presented with personal challenges that in the end I will not just overcome, but that will make me a better man.

But for now that’s too much to think about……I will just enjoy the view from my porch. Life is good, and I am thankful for the opportunity to live it. I had a good day……thanks for checking in on me today…

God Bless!

Tom+

The end of a perfect day…….

Today was the first day of Summer, but more than that, it was my best day yet since my stroke. I felt great all day long and enjoyed every bit of it! Working in Nashville went well, and even folding laundry at the end of the day didn’t bother me at all AND I did it all on my own!! (I must have brain damage). But I hadn’t had a day like today in a long time, so nothing was going to taint it!

And I am all set for tomorrow too. I didn’t feel real good about my sermon, but it seemed to be received well at St. Matthew’s Nashville, so I will use it again tomorrow and it will appear on our website (www.IndianaAnglican.com) tomorrow afternoon. Deacon Tony Bender, (and his wife Denise), were at St. Matthew’s for the first time tonight, and it was great to see the people welcome him as one of the family there. There was no cake, which disappointed me (after this past week I sort of hope to see cake everywhere) but I did sneak a cookie or two and it was just what I needed to counteract all the salad I have been eating since my birthday!

I was just so very thankful to have a good day, and not just a good one, but a great one. Today I felt NORMAL, and that has been a long time coming I can tell you! And hopefully tomorrow will bring another great day!

For now however, I will finish this up. My laptop is with me in bed, and Amanda is already asleep just a foot or so away. I do have a bit of pain, but I am confident it is nothing serious, It is actually just the heel of an infant who is but 9 days shy of 1. He is asleep in a wedge in between us, but he is clearly more “in between” towards my side than hers (he works for her…. you know it and I do too!!).

But what do I care? It’s been a perfect day! I am blessed to have lived it, and I hope for many more too! And not just for me, but for you as well!

God bless and goodnight!!!

Tom+

Of C.S. Lewis, Scotty, and Narnia…….

My son Scotty and I are reading “The Chronicles of Narnia” together this summer, and today was the day we discussed the first book, “The Magician’s Nephew.” We had a great time sitting together talking about it, with both of us bringing our particular insights.

It reminded me of how broad our experiences of life can be if we only look a bit deeper. I would have never imagined Scotty and I doing something like this together. We have done all the other usual dad/son things like playing ball, skating, mowing, riding bikes, and watching our beloved Cubs. But reading books together and talking about them was a real stretch for us both.

In truth, I never read when I was Scott’s age. As a matter of fact, it was in grad school when I first confessed to a professor of mine that I had not read one book for leisure in my life. It wasn’t that I couldn’t read, because I read a lot for class. I just considered reading for fun a waste of my time……a mistake I regretted deeply later in life.

My professor, Locke Bowman, knew better and he made me read “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer” and “Huckleberry Finn” for class (it was an independent study) and we used both books then for discussions about educational theory. He knew he could draw me into reading, and he did! It was a brilliant move, and the mark of a true teacher with a passion for learning. Thanks Locke, I haven’t stopped reading since.

I certainly don’t want Scott to deprive himself of something so meaningful like I did, and after our discussion today I believe that will not be a problem. We move this week to “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe,” and we are both looking forward to discussing it next Friday!

What a great way to begin that 47th year! I am blessed that he will read with me…..now if I can just get him to clean his room!

God bless!

Tom+