Monthly Archives: May 2008

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My apologies…..the product of a mushy mind…….

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I didn’t post last night because there was just so much spinning through my mind. Michael’s funeral was wonderful. The clergy at Our Lady of Grace did a great job of helping us to celebrate his life. Michael was such a great guy, and I even missed Michael when he couldn’t make practice……I know it’s going to be a lot harder now.

I sat at the funeral with most of the girls on our team and with Coach Corry. Michael touched everyone of them, and his influence upon them clearly was indelible. I know we were all blessed to know him, and it frustrates me very much to suddenly not be able to put what I want and NEED to say into words about him. Perhaps tomorrow will provide me the opportunity.

I work hard to keep myself together when this happens to me. As for a reason, (of course I have had a stroke) I think the happenings of the week, and the ones coming up this weekend, just trip some sort of “limit switch” in my head and my ability to move ahead just stalls. It is hard to deal with, but in time I will get there…. In the meantime, please be patient. I still do have a lot to say about this week, Michael, his funeral, and all that has happened….I just have the need and desire to say it well/right.

Okay, I am giving up for the day! Pray for clarity for me tomorrow…Lord knows I need it!

Peace!

Fr. Tom+

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Of the hope for a better tomorrow………

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It has been an unusual day for me for a lot of reasons. Today I not only was able to attend the visitation for Michael Treinen at our Lady of Grace Catholic Church, but I was also able to meet his parents and one of his sisters for the first time. They are remarkable people. It was a hard time for everyone, and I just wish my mind could have kept up with all that was happening around me. The effects of the stroke often manifest themselves in hard places, and this was one of them.
I do have some things to say about what I am witnessing, but I just can’t get my thoughts lined up correctly….at least I can’t today. It is not some type of writer’s block, it is clearly a stroke-thing. After the funeral tomorrow I believe (and hope) that I will be able to express myself better.
Today was also my wife Amanda’s birthday. The events of her birthday bookended work and the visitation. We started the day with a coffee cake with candles and ended it with a DQ cake and high blood sugar I am sure. But celebrations are an important part of life, and today was one of her celebration days.
Tomorrow will be one of Michael’s. Funerals are to be a reflection and celebration of one’s life, and I am confident his will be just that. As a priest, I find comfort in them. And as a brother who lost two sisters to cancer as well, Steph (who my daughter is named for and who died in 2001), and Sarah (who died in 2004) I need them. Believe me, there is enough pain to last 100’s of years in any of this…..what funerals provide is the hope, peace and assurance that those of us who are left need to live on. They hold up death for what it is, just a transition, a gate that we too will one day pass through. And when we do, we will see those who went before us again. You see, there is a lot to celebrate…..death is not the end of the story!
Please keep the Treinens in your prayers and all those who are struggling with Michael’s death…..particularly the young people. Tomorrow will be a trying day for many. Pray that the Lord’s Hand may rest upon them all, and that His funeral will celebrate his life, and provide the comfort, the hope, the peace, and the assurance that everyone will need.
God bless you my friends.
Fr. Tom+
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A short post before the end of the day…….

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Today was really my first full day back working, and I made the most of it in usual Tom Tirman style…..I packed in about 30 hours of work into 12 hours. No, I am not working on a second, more spectacular stroke, but I am in the process of relearning how to manage my life with a brain that doesn’t quite get it yet. (nor can it tell time) I was slap-happy in the late morning, yet far from done. It will be interesting to see what I feel like tomorrow.

What I can say is that I am emotionally and physically wiped out from the day, and from the happenings of life all around me. I do know I am way past my limit, and will forgo writing too much tonight…it would only be rambling.

But if you read this, I ask that you please pray for the family of Michael Treinen and for our community. His visitation is tomorrow and his funeral is on Thursday. Your prayers will mean a lot to everyone.

Goodnight my friends, and God Bless.

Tom+

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A tragic day………….good-bye my friend…….

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I wish I had the heart to post yesterday, but it was a pretty sad day. Our dear friend Michael Treinen went home to be with the Lord at around 6:30 in the morning. Michael was a remarkable young man, who our entire community will miss.

Many of you may have heard of Michael or have been following his story. He was diagnosed with cancer just before his graduation from high school last year. He had to set aside his plans to go to Arizona State in order to go through treatment, and that decision led to remission in January of this year.

Sadly, his remission did not last long. A month later Michael was again fighting for his life…..a battle he would fight until yesterday morning.

Michael however was not like a lot of people I know who have cancer…….he was very different. Michael, though he had a terrible disease, and though he had no misconceptions of what he was to endure or what could happen to him, chose each and every day to live. And live he did. He took each day as an opportunity to make his mark upon the world. And in all my days, not just as a pastor, but as a person, I have met few like him. He inspired everyone around him, including me. And I have to say that my time with him, though short, was one of the most incredible blessings I have ever been given.

Last night around the high school flag pole, hundreds of people, students and adults alike, gathered to share what Michael meant to them. Michael was the Assistant Coach for the boy’s high school lacrosse team. He had been awarded the night before he died the “2008 Assistant Coach of the Year” for boy’s lacrosse, though he could not be present to receive it. It was quite an honor. Yet Michael really didn’t seem to be about all attention, he just was about making that mark on those he met.

I only met Michael in person on April 19th, the day after I was released from the hospital following my stroke. Oh I knew who he was, because everyone knows him here in Noblesville, but I went out to shake his hand very close to the big “N” on the high school stadium field where we were playing that day. You may remember I am the head coach of the high school girl’s lacrosse team, and my stroke occurred on the week of our first game. When it was clear I would need to be hospitalized and not able to practice or coach, my Assistant Coach Lisa Corry put a call out to our boy’s team for help….and help we got! But guess who was one of the coaches to show up? That’s right, Michael Treinen! And not only did he show up, he showed up every day…even after I returned! He showed up in between chemo and transfusions, never complaining, never calling attention to himself, only working to live his life and to make his mark. He inspired me, and he inspired our team as well.

Last night, our girl’s team was there too, and many of them spoke of how he had inspired them and made them a team, and how important he was in their lives. He walked with them only a little over a month, first to cover for me when I was out, and then at our invitation as an Assistant Coach for us too (after all he was there every day!). And though we have no such award as Assistant Coach of the Year in girl’s lacrosse, I am certain both Lisa and I would be comfortable just conferring on him Girl’s Coach of the Year for Noblesville Lacrosse. God knows he deserves it, for his mark on us all will be ever-lasting.

I will miss Michael, though I know he is in a far better place. I have two sisters there who like him left this earth far too early from battling the same terrible disease, and I rejoice that none of them shall suffer any further. But I can see his mark all around me, in the people he touched, the faces of the girl’s, and even in my own heart. Thanks Michael for showing us all the importance of living each day.

Few people ever live so fully. I thank the Lord for the opportunity we have all had to walk with him, and look forward to being reunited with him again, one day, in heaven.

May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the tender mercy of God, rest in peace.

Fr. Tom+

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Blessings are sometimes what they make of them!!!!

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Last night “Pizza and Movie Night” looked to be a blast. Everyone was ready, there was really nothing in our way……but unfortunately, two of us only partook of the pizza part. Ben decided rather quickly that he was not getting enough attention, which is something he is lately making a career of. So he decided to do what he does best…..he worked hard to entertain everyone. Unfortunately however for Ben, we all were really hoping to be entertained by the movie instead.

So after about 20 minutes of his giggling and attempting to get everyone’s attention, Ben and I departed the basement and went upstairs. He got a bottle, a new diaper, and a ride up to my bed with me where he could talk and giggle all he wanted. Actually, we had a blast. Amanda, Steph, and Scott may have seen a great movie, but I had a personal performance from a comedian who could actually make me laugh! It was a blessing in itself (and it was all mine!!)

And, as we lounged around laughing and playing between his bottle swigs, I wondered just how long he might go on. I soon got my answer. After a few more minutes Ben took one last drink, pitched his bottle to my side, then flipped over towards Amanda’s side of the bed where he promptly conked out! Another one of God’s blessing…perhaps even a MIRACLE! So I finished my night in quasi-solitude, reading and writing with his back toward me and an occasional baby snore….which is hilarious in itself.

As I said yesterday, I have great kids. And all and all it was a fun day. I thank God for the time I get to spend with each of them, though it sometimes, okay it often, doesn’t turn out exactly as I envisioned. They are still all blessings to me. And I would not want them to be any different! Yesterday was fun, and as for today, we intend to have a wonderful Saturday together.

I hope your Saturday is just as wonderful, and full of the marvelous blessings the Lord indeed provides!

God Bless!

Tom+

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Of God’s Many Blessings………

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Today when the kids got home from school their little brother Ben was in his jumper bouncing up and down watching that amazing educational show, “SpongeBob Squarepants.” Ben was laughing at SpongeBob, Steph and Scott were laughing at Ben, and I was laughing at all three of them. I have really great kids. They are happy, healthy, funny, and wonderful. I am truly blessed.

What that scene reminded me of however was the importance of taking time to enjoy life. A baby’s giggle, a smile, happy teenagers (and mine are happy all the time) are all just a few examples of God’s blessings around us! And I want to enjoy them!

Too often however, the happenings of this life can rob us of what God Himself wants for us. God wants for us to enjoy His Blessings! We certainly all have plenty of things that can weigh us down, but it’s often just a matter of where we are looking, where we are turning our heads. God’s blessings abound! But often we have to choose to look at them, or for them!

As for me, I live with many of mine, and today I am enjoying them! I have plenty of worries that can wait. For tonight my kids will be my joy as Amanda and I are going to watch a movie with them and eat some pizza on a night I have just declared as “movie and pizza night” (yep I am far less creative after a stroke). But for me, it will be a blast!

I hope this day you are aware of God’s many blessings around you. They are there on every side. Take some time to look for them and enjoy them.

I hope your day turns out as blessed as mine!

One week to go!!

Fr. Tom+

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Of going to the dogs………

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What happened to the 21st??? Well, it’s gone, and I didn’t post. I did a lot yesterday, but more than anything I enjoyed some time in our backyard with one of our dogs, Viper. I know, his name sounds intimidating, but Viper is just a big old Golden Retriever with a tail that never stops wagging. We actually breed and show Goldens under the name “Angelcreek,” and we have four furry, funny, and friendly dogs. (we also have a spare dog….Amanda’s dog Spencer)

Viper is actually his “call name” or what we call him around the house. As you can imagine, SCOTT picked that name because Viper is Scott’s dog. Viper’s real name is “Charisma’s Anglecreek Snakenshake.” Actually all the dogs (but Spencer)all have real names. There is “Claybrook’s Angelcreek GEN” (for Genesis)….Jenny. “Angelcreek’s Best of the Batch”…….Cookie. And last but certainly not least, “Angelcreek’s I’m Not Mary Ann” …….aka Ginger. All of them are marvelous dogs, sweet as the day is long, and ALWAYS good for me. Regardless of what kind of day I have had, they always are wagging their tails and happy. It has very little to do with food or playtime…it has everything to do with their outlook on life. I learn a lot from them, and yesterday I learned a lot from Viper. Lying in the sun out in the grass watching birds and wagging your tail seemed to be exactly what I needed. (I didn’t have a tail, I borrowed his.)

Yep, my life is going to the dogs. They are great therapists. Where else can you get such a value? All I paid with yesterday was a little time, a few biscuits, and tennis ball!

And, I intend to go back to that therapist later today!

God bless.

Fr. Tom+

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Of the incredible mountain before me…….

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Oh I know, the title of this blog entry sounds very dramatic, but the mountain is my struggles in trying to get better combined now with all the work I have been avoiding while here on my medical leave. It is piling up and the mountain is getting high I tell you! And I have to say, it is starting to bother me in a way that is NOT helpful!

So, I am intending to begin to do a little “excavation” today! After all, the idea of this medical leave is to not stress myself out. And getting at a bit of this mountain not only will give me something to do, but it makes the horizon a little more level and lots less threatening for me.

Of course this is certainly not the first time I have had challenges in my life. In my mind I have had many more challenges than I should have had. But I cannot sit around complaining about all that, I believe it only wastes time. I instead want to move ahead and meet the current ones head on!

In the past, I used music as one of the things to help me do that. I had a list of songs I would listen to and sing over and over that helped me through some very rough times. Of course like so many other things lately, I didn’t remember this until recently. Some things however are just of God. I was driving along a few days ago listening to the radio when one those songs from my list came on, and it was on a particularly bad day for me. There probably could have been no better song for me to hear then either, it was FFH’s “Lord move, or move me” The song is one of my favorites, and the chorus goes,

“Lord move in a way, that I’ve never seen before
Cause there’s a mountain in the way and a lock on the door
I’m drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move (move), or move me.”

I sang it at the top of my lungs (with the windows up so as to not traumatize wildlife or people) but as it finished a few thoughts went right through my stroke infested mind……..

You know, too often the happenings of our lives, especially when they are traumatic, suck us in to the point that those happenings become all that we can see. The hills can suddenly look like or become mountains, and the valleys just seem to get deeper and deeper. But if we look around us our path out of this scary environment is always there, for the Lord will always help us if we let Him. That help just often begins with the admission first that we need Him.

You see, in truth, the Lord wants to help us and no one should know that more than me. He is the One constant in my life who has never let me down. And with Him, any hill, any valley, any mountain, any obstacle can be overcome. We just need to see these things from His perspective, not our own. Because He can take us over the mountains or even move them out of our way….after all, they are nothing to Him. He has the key to every lock. He can calm the seas, He can do anything…..and with Him, so can we.

So all this is to say I am attempting to do a little excavation in my life……beginning today!! Keep me in your prayers. There’s a mountain in my way, and I am asking the Lord to help me move it. But if experience is a good teacher, I just have the feeling He may instead just change my point of view!

God bless all of you!! I am looking forward to seeing you soon!

Fr. Tom+

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Of neurology, expectations, and impatience………

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I wanted to wait to post today until after my appointment with my neurologist. It just seemed easier than posting twice today, and it is helpful for me to be able to get the information out while it is fresh in my mind.

The appointment went well. He felt I was right where I should be. The struggles and the frustrations I am feeling really come from my being young and highly functional. I seem to have a lot of drive and desire to get better and with that a lot of impatience too! The effects of my stroke seem harder to me because my expectations of myself are so high. But just like any rehab of this sort, it happens in its time not mine. My body and my brain are what they are, and I am just going to have to live with them, and let them take their time!

And that too was one topic that we discussed as well. I was concerned because I felt I have not made a whole lot of progress these past two weeks. So I asked, “what if THIS is what I will be?” We talked about how that is always a possibility, but it really is an unlikely one. But despite that, I did say that I could still do it (my job and my life) if this was as good as it gets for me. It would be very difficult, but really, who am I to complain? In the whole scheme of things there are many worse things that a person can endure. After all, Porky Pig made a big name for himself despite his stutter, and I feel I owe a lot to confusion anyhow. I may just be paying the piper! For if Amanda were not a poor confused soul she might have turned down my proposal and have avoided living in all this bliss with me! So if there is anyone who needs that CT Scan it is her. But please do not let her have one…..I believe I actually benefit from her confused state!

Anyway, my next neurologist appointment is in September, so I am now just turned loose to rehab. And, I am committed to it. It has been a good day. I actually prefer my doctors to be the way they are now, encouraging, pushing away, and wanting to see me less…. verses their mid-April looks of deep concern, worry, and seriousness. How they are now makes me much less anxious, and that is VERY HELPFUL in my healing.

So the bottom line is this……. I am still plugging along and (in my mind) doing well. I appreciate your prayers and concern. And I promise, I will be back in the saddle very, very soon.

God bless!

Tom+

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Of faith, friends, and the future…..

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I really do love what I do, not because it’s a great job, but because I feel called by God to do it. There are just some things in this life that the Good Lord Himself plans for us to do, and when we find them and then do them, our lives really sync-up…after all, we are doing exactly what we were made for! A shoe, for instance, though it may work as a hammer to drive a nail into a wall, in reality is just a shoe and not a hammer. A hammer is a hammer and it works better because driving nails is exactly what it’s made for. Too often I see people in this life with no awareness of their purpose. It’s sad too. Life is so much better (and effective) when we listen for the voice of the Lord and allow Him to guide us to our call. I am thankful each and every day that I have found mine.

Of course being a priest on medical leave and not being in Church today (my second week in a row) is driving me nuts! If patience is a virtue, it is a virtue I appear to have very little of! Fortunately for me however, being a priest is a lot more than a worship service and being in Church on Sunday. (just as being a Christian is not defined by that either) Don’t get me wrong, I believe it is VITALLY IMPORTANT to belong to, and go to a Church, but “getting it” as a Christian means coming to the understanding that going to Church is for the Lord and not for you….we go to Church to recharge our spiritual batteries and support one another so that we can go out and do the important work…….so that we can be the Lord’s disciples to the world around us.

Today Bishop Ames sent over Father Kelly Irish, from Madison, Ohio to both preach and celebrate at our two Sunday worshipping missions, St. Anne’s in Anderson and St. Patrick’s in Noblesville. (Yep, they all have their own names now!) Kelly is a longtime and close friend, the godfather of the kids, and the priest who actually married Amanda and me. (It’s his fault Amanda and not mine!! I was getting a deal!!) Unfortunately, Kelly could not make it into town to do services in Nashville last evening. It was his in-laws’ 50th Anniversary this weekend, and he had commitments through late yesterday afternoon. Actually, he had commitments all through the weekend, but both he and his wife Marie thought is was important to have him be with us here. It has been great to see him, and comforting to know that he was there at the two missions today! When we were both impoverished grad students in seminary over 20 years ago I could pay him off with a McDonald’s coffee…..I am guessing this however may warrant an actual dinner for sure!

This break I am taking (the medical leave) is, and has been good for me, and I can tell. The fact that my friends (including Kelly and our Bishop) are willing (and insistent) about coming to help us out reflects the new reality we are living in these days as a Church that is part of the Conservative Movement. Bishop Frank Lyons of Bolivia always talked about creating a new DNA, and Bishop Ames speaks of creating the new DNA often as well. These clergy coming in from ong distances to help cover for me is a great witness to the new DNA too. In this new paradigm, we care for each other and we pray for each other, and we even carry each other when we need to, not because we have to, but because it reflects who we are. That is NOT the reality of the church I was used to, but thank God it is the reality of the Church we belong to now…..the Church that all of us belong to now too! It indicates, to me at least, that our future looks very bright!!

I am thankful for the clarity of God’s call that has led me to this place and in this time, and I am thankful for those of you who also faithfully follow the Lord’s path along with me. But as He Himself has reminded us, “the harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few.” As we look around, clearly we have a lot of work yet to do…..

But more than anything, I am thankful we are walking along and doing it together. It’s what the Lord wants from and for us, and the best reflection of all that we are “getting it!”

God bless you my friends! I will see you all (how about in Church?) very very soon!

Tom+