Well yet another stint for me as chauffeur (for my wife) and tutor (for the boy) tonight, and at my age and with my current aging brain and vision, I am clearly on borrowed time.  Ben is already explaining things to me I do not know, and he is in first grade and the older kids and Amanda are already touring nursing facilitates and imagining ways to take away my driver’s license.  My friend Randy and I used to joke about acting all senile and such when we got to this age as a prank, but dag nabbit (authentic old person lingo, or dag wabbit to use a Fuddism) it is far too risky to do as they are already planning our committals.  Why give them the ammo??

But tonight as Ben and I sat in the Panera doing his homework, I was amazed at how I was watching my wife shine through him.  He is looking up here, which was not the norm tonight as he had his nose in the book and was eating his soup, breaking concentration on the text only a couple of times. He was really laser focused, which is the mark of my wife.  He literally was impressive. It was a very proud experience for me, as focus upon the tasks at hand often evade me.  At 6 I wanted to goof off and at 52 I still do.  Heck, I didn’t even read a book for leisure until I was 26.  He is his mom’s son in this, and although he still manages to goof off (a lot) he also manages to evade trouble, showing clearly that the Mongold genes have what it takes to correct the defect in the Tirman ones, you know the ones that make us like to know principals.

But my hope and prayer for him is that he will get to the discipline himself of getting these things, like homework and the expansion of his mind, into his routine by habit and desire rather than by coercion. Right now I am not using coercion as much as I am using good old fashioned American bribery, but you get the point.  He needs to get this because he wants to, otherwise he really will be living with me forever.

Off to pick up Miss Daisy.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!


Tommy+

Of course “back in the day,” meaning when I was young, not too many of us wore “eye black.”  No one had packaged it yet, or put some sort of logo on it while making it reusable.  It’s not that we were not good athletes back then, but it just wasn’t something we needed to make ourselves look tough enough, whereas athletes today have all sorts of things, such as eye black, at their disposal.

Today’s athletes however use it for much more than its intended use.  They use it more like Indian war paint.  For them, it is meant to intimidate and create fear, and is really part of gaining that mental advantage over one’s opponents.  In truth, we never thought of such things.  Our jerseys and basic equipment was enough.  We were not the benefactors of modern convenience, and as we understood it everything on the field (or ice as I knew it) could be taken care of by hard work and effort, and everything else could be fixed with athletic tape.  But sports were evolving, even then.  Face guards in hockey for instance came out and became a requirement when I was playing.  Of course we complained about them and did our best to modify them to please ourselves, but safety was changing the game.

All of this is one of the reasons that was a taskmaster about safety and safety gear as a coach, since I wasn’t concerned as a player as I was invincible.  I sport some pretty impressive porcelain teeth that were posted into my jawbone as a young man as I thought mouth guards were useless.  I have since come to understand that I was right, except now I would add “if you do not wear them.”  Eye black, which became popular back then too was to help you see better by stopping the reflection of light from the sun, yet the sun didn’t seem like too much an issue inside ice arenas. But guys in the outdoor sports did begin wearing it, regardless of whether they were playing or riding the bench waiting for their time (in the sun here is implied).  

The bottom line was that it DID make them look a lot cooler and intimidating than they were without it, and it seems to have been part of teams I have been a part of ever since.  I will say that I do not recall it at all when I was under 10 because if it were what it is today at all we all would have had it in Little League where we were barely strong enough to lift our bats.  But it did come, and it is prevalent in sports today.  And regardless of who wears it, it does up the intimidation factor quite a bit.

And you will notice that I did not say 100%, and that is because Ben got some put on this past Saturday at Steph’s game.  And as a old guy I still know that regardless of who you are, or how good or bad you are at a sport, the very last thing you want to do is to put on eye black and hear the words “cute” or “adorable.”  Yet as you can see from the picture, this Tirman has a long way to go.

Of course, at Ben’s age Steph was a math nerd (okay, she kind of still is) and Scotty was, well just Scotty.  Neither showed any indication of what they would become, and for that I know not to rush to judgement with Ben.  Steph tried to pastorally address this with me over the weekend by mentioning a few sports (okay not really sports to ME, but I will refrain from mentioning them as to not offend anyone) that Ben might try.  It was her way of presenting a course of action for the seemingly black sheep of an athletic family, after all it is hard to envision Ben being an MVP in any sport, as she and Scotty both were in multiple years, when he acts like Spongebob (not Scotty, Ben).

But I gave up having my kids live into my expectations about sports long ago, not for them, but for me.  It was then that I could enjoy it, and even had they not done so well I would still have.  Steph still plays, and is a senior on the number 14th ranked D2 team in the country.  Scotty could have played, but went into the Marines instead.  He is now, on his off time, the head coach of a men’s high school team just off base and had his first games this weekend.

And Ben will continue to wear eye black (poorly) and run like a dork, and be cute, as well as adorable. I am proud of him just as much.  I know to not work to control it, but to let it happen. (Ask Scotty how well it worked when he tried to play ice hockey)  Ben however, will be fine.  And whatever sport he plays (right now he is in Taekwondo) he will be what he is supposed to be.  I just don’t want him to feel the pressure.

After all he has big shoes to fill.  Steph may be a top tier lacrosse player and Scotty a Marine, and both may be hot shot high school MVPs, but I have porcelain teeth bolted into my jaw, and what could ever be cooler than that?

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Well I am happy to post tonight, but saddened that our quick trip has ended.  At the last minute, we decided to make a run to Missouri to see Steph and the #11 ranked (USA NCAA Division 2) Lindenwood Lions Women’s Lacrosse team beat Shorter University (from Georgia) 20 to 0.  It was an exciting game, PLUS a lot warmer than last week’s game.  And although I got some great videos from the game, they do not post well on here from my iPhone.  So I had to take pictures later from our after game get together.

But clearly videos are much clearer as six year olds, just like sharks, never stop moving, so still are always blurred.  The first picture is clear of Steph and blurry of Ben, as Steph is the one who is 22.  The second picture I am certain would show Steph clearly too had not her brother, who is also a ham, photo bombed her shot, and perfectly at that.  He thinks he is hilarious, and I suppose I will admit he is, but I want to classify my photos by who I can see rather than who he is obstructing.  And in “speaking” with him, he swears he understands, however the evidence shows it to be nothing more than lip service.  I even stop him and ask him if he can see me right in front of him after my warnings, which he always answers in the affirmative, yet the lack of changing will lead him down a dark path in time.  Scotty got it straight in the Marines.  Ben, if he heads there may cause the retirement or breakdown of the best of the best Drill Instructors at boot camp.

But Steph certainly enjoys it, and that brings me great joy.  They hang together, read books and see movies together, and talk more to each other than to Amanda and me.  It is a blessing, and one that they both will treasure forever.  And we are more than happy to provide them both with the opportunity!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Yes, this is a picture of actual schoolwork from our son Ben.  It is also clearly an assignment, as I really do not believe he would have any such aspirations, although after reading this many people, including myself if I were young, would vote for him.  And it shall serve as “evidence enough” that the activation of our voting rights AFTER the required schooling we as Americans complete is good policy.  After all, he is clearly a schmoozer.

Of course I am very drawn to using these promises as the content of my post tonight, but retelling it really ruins your ability to experience and enjoy it in its original.  All I suppose I can add to it is that it is clearly something that keeps the school counselors employed….yep job security.   It is the Tirman contribution to society, keeping the counselors employed and the principals and deans busy.  And before you think the counselors’ security is tied into talking to Ben, please note that I really meant talking to the staff that has to deal with him.  As most Tirmans would tell you, throughout history we are often known to the Administrations of the schools we attend, but rarely for the noble reasons.  And as most Tirmans who have met Ben would tell you, he is a bit further “along” than most of us.   And where Scotty was me on caffeine, Ben is Scotty on steroids.

But for tonight we just can all be thankful he will not want to be president.  And we are quite thankful that he provides us with a lot of joy and laughter.  In fact, his teachers and school staff would tell you the same.  We just have the privilege of living with him 24/7.

We just ask that you keep the poor girl who one day will marry him in your prayers.  She has no idea what she is heading into…..after all, no girl grows up aspiring just to be the First Lady.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

I would really like to say I was able to post this last night, February 21st, but I have had a headache these past few days that has gotten progressively worse, and last light I was in bed early.  My wife gets migraines, and I do NOT want to compare my headache with those.  Anyone who has been around people who get migraines know that there is a massive difference between the two.  But that does not make my headache insignificant, as it is to me.  And having it from Wednesday, and still till now, wears you down.

So I will post two today, this one for yesterday, and another later (hopefully not tomorrow) for today. And today I have decided to post a picture of a person Ben thinks is himself, but is actually Scotty around the same age or a little older.  Ben insists that it is him, but Ben has not played a day of baseball in his life.  Scotty however was a very good baseball player, and primarily a catcher.  And yes, for those of you who know anything about baseball catchers, this picture had to be taken PRE-game as catchers are always filthy.

This picture however is not quite enough retribution for their sister, who’s picture of her and her telescope has resulted in endless ribbing and the use of it as a background picture for the phones of some of the younger teammates on her college lacrosse team.  Oh don’t worry Steph, we will get there, but Amanda and I decided to not post any of the Scotty “fro” pictures until after the wedding and we have Kenzie as a daughter-in-law.  Up to then it just risks too much.

But this will do for now, both in terms of a picture and a post.  Ben still thinks it’s him, Steph will still think it is not enough, Scott still will be thankful, and I still have a headache.

See you all tonight!

Tommy+

Yes, let me begin with a sincere apology to our local “Greek’s Pizzaria” who in no way is connected with this post, nor should it be implied that it is.  In fact, I know the owner of it and he is quite a delightful guy, although we have not ever eaten there.  Tonight’s title is only to indicate DNA, and when I say “DNA,” I mean the geeky, nerdy, DNA that Ben has inherited from his mom.  The kid is meticulous.

But earlier in the week he decided he wanted to make pizza.  Last time we ventured into this world he made a calzone, and he used crescent rolls for the crust.  This time however he made his own dough, as he wanted to be authentic, as well as the fact that he always takes all of mine.  So yes, all this is to say that Ben Tirman made pizza from scratch.

Since however I was his tutor, mentor, or slave (depending upon your perspective) I made sure that the “measuring” was more to my suiting than scientific.  He was like a little mad scientist pouring things in and mixing them up (with the big Kitchen Aid blender too), and he even waited patiently as I not only explained yeast, but as he waited for his dough to rise a bit.  He even made his own sauce.  Granted I opened the can of tomato sauce for him, but he chose the spices and amounts himself (I had set out common pizza spices) and there was NO sugar.

Of course much of the kneading included the words “Hi Yah,” if those really are words, and karate chopping seems to be his technique of choice.  I will say that it was actually very good, and far better with the crust he made than the pre-made one.   He did a great job and was very proud, as he should be. Both his brother and sister learned to cook in the same way, but Steph and Scott are gravitating more towards the “Amanda Timan Exact-a-mundo”style, so Ben is my last chance.  Otherwise my style will just pass on when I do.

But the end result was awesome pizza and proud parents.  He’s smart and he can cook, so if he just didn’t need to have someone to tell about Minecraft he could probably avoid getting married someday. But for now we will not jump the gun.  As most of us know, cooking skills can go south in a moments notice (my apologies to the Confederacy, as this is clearly a negative northern expression), so we just have to wait.

But waiting with foods like pizza is a pretty sweet deal.  If only he would take the same kind of interest into something just as useful, such as cleaning his room.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Today has been quite the adventure!  I have been to Indianapolis and back, I have purchased out tax program, I have dropped off and picked Ben up from school, I was able to FINALLY find a pair of tennis shoes (though I do not play tennis) and I ended the day with Ben at Panera in Noblesville as we waited for Amanda to get done with her haircut.

Such adventures always provide quite a bit of “thought” material, and most of mine tonight has been thinking about what I was thinking when I became a parent.  I was trailed by Ben all through the Kohl’s and the Walmart for about an hour and constantly apologizing to his incessant talk about Minecraft. Yes, just ask him if you dare.  I do not remember him heading to any special school for this, but he obviously has a PhD.  And, his talk is one constant lecture that he is giving.  Tonight, much to the horror of those Minecraft neophytes around us, he spoke of spawning animals and their eventual arrival at some sort of Minecraft pig/cow heaven where they even have wings.

Of course on countless points I could have corrected his theology, but I was so enjoying people’s reactions that I just let it ride.  After all I thought, Steph and Scott turned out okay, and it was pretty entertaining then too.  What surprises me is just how different each of them is!  And I just hope someday they all come to realization that endured them all.  Maybe, just maybe, it will keep me out of the nursing home.

But for now I will just enjoy the time I have.  I am living the dream, no, certainly not like he is, but then again that would be a clear sign I am well off the cliff.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Well it has been a rough couple of days, but I appear to have made it.  I have a myriad of things (problems) to deal with and quite often I discover that they have a common connection………me!

As an example, tonight’s picture is of my right shoulder.  It is a “repaired” shoulder, that was fixed by one of the greatest orthopedic surgeons I know, my ortho, Dr. Sexson.  So the question is, “Why then when I have a problem with it, do I wait for it to get better on it’s own?”  The answer quite simply is that I am a guy.  AND, this is exasperated by the fact that I am a guy from the generation where in athletics you could fix “anything” with athletic tape…..this included compound fractures, the reattachment of limbs, and heart surgery.  So when this started bothering me about 6 months ago, and I could not tape it away, I went into the guy-mode of “I think I will give it just one more day.”

Of course this logic will baffle any female readers, but to any guy over 40 they will go, “well of course, right!”  But in all honesty, looking back other than athletic tape miraculously healing President Reagan when he was shot, I can think of no time when it really worked for me.  But as a young man that was just part of the rite of passage to old manhood…..being able to recount to the following generations all your old sports injuries because YOU FEEL THEM STILL.  It seemed cool then, and still kind of does now, but all guys know deep down that it is probably not the best philosophy of life.

My body is a living (barely) testament to poor care of sports injuries as a young man.  My favored side, the right, has seen my rotator cuff repaired, including a labrum tear, and a simultaneous scope on the top of my right knee and with a complete opening and patella dissection on the lower part.  Those things don’t happen just watching cartoons.  My back, upper and lower, my right ankle, my right wrist, and left knee have never been cut open, but perhaps are all waiting their turns.   And as for me, I am still waiting and willing to get that Motrin tattoo if they will just sponsor me, as I clearly sponsor them.

But another cortisone shot and the advice that “I shouldn’t wait so long next time,” has done the trick. My belief that I would just heal in time, as well as my belief that if I go in they will tell me they need to do another surgery were both unfounded.  All I can say is that I am thankful to be wrong.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

My disappearance from this blog these last few days has been intentional, as we went to visit Stephanie in Missouri for her home opener.  Lindenwood is rated #14 in the NCAA II Coaches’ Poll, and as it is her Senior year, we wanted to be there.  With Viper having arthritis and narcotics simultaneously however, we decided to take him with us rather than boarding him in a kennel at our vets.  Sleeping on the floor at a hotel is far more comfortable for him, plus he got to see Steph and a few of his other friends out there.  With that however, we left the house only “cat-ed” and alarmed, rather than having people stay there, so I didn’t want to advertise that or post pictures away as I didn’t want to invite trouble.  After all, my copy of Dr. Phil’s “Life Strategies” is worth probably about 4 bucks on the black market.  My wife always quotes her grandma who said, “you don’t borrow trouble,” and I say “you don’t invite it either.’  And doing this on a whim just made these decisions prudent.

But we had a great time!  It was as cold (not as hell as hell is hot), but to the extent that I was quite uncomfortable out by the field.  Yes, they did provide indoor seating which Ben and Amanda took advantage of, but I am a purest.  (Plus I cannot see from the athletic center’s room as I have the eyes of a mole).  But I do not regret one dang second of my choice to stay outside.  It’s important to me as her dad, and if regular readers remember I left my position as head coach of the Noblesville High School Lady Millers Lacrosse team in order to be able to support Steph and her team.  So had I not been there, I would have been out on some sub-zero field anyhow everyday for practice and games.  Watching the Lions I only do so at games.

And this is it too.  They won 16-10 and with a strong season can qualify to play for the National Title in May.  As a coach, even just while watching, I always go play by play, minute by minute.  Execute in the now, recover and adapt to mistakes, and to not lose sight of what it right in front of you.  Not every moment will be spectacular……..refs with make bad calls, players will get frustrated, teammates can lose focus.  But good players see that and work to rise above that.  Great players set it aside for the play in front of them.  This is a great team, with a great staff, and a lot of vision.

As a coach on a almost completed hiatus, and a former player (although it was ice hockey) I will say confidence and belief in oneself change the dynamic.  To me, every puck was mine to take from an opponent, every shot a goal I expected to make, and every pass one that I expected a teammate could take if my options seemed shut out.  A team in not one in individuality, it is one by it’s collective commitment to team…..no selfishness, no egos, and a common vision and mission to win each game.

No one likes a coach, particularly a good one, and even more particularly one who coached quite a few players now playing at these levels, to chime in on The Lindenwood Staff.  I will do so to say they are FANTASTIC, and with  record speaks for itself.  They teach me too.  And I have complete confidence that they are not only contenders for a title here, but will be often in many year to come.

It was a pretty awesome weekend and we were glad to be a apart!  Go Lions!

So goodnight my friends and God Bless.  And please enough tonight’s picture of Ben and Steph celebrating there genetic goofiness together.  After all, you’ve gotta be able to also cut loose off the field and recharge with that which gives you life!

Keep it up Lions!  You are a very strong and balanced team, and you will go far, and hopefully this year too!!!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!


Tommy+

Since our day is packed tomorrow and since he worked so hard, he asked me if he could give his mom her Valentine’s gifts that he made tonight rather than in the morning.  The schedule is very tight in the morning and knowing that we have something for him then made this a good idea.  PLUS, if you ever had to deal with a 6 year old that is excited about something you know that you can be in bed and here him knock on your door every 5 minutes for 6 hours about how he cannot sleep, or you can just deal with the issue directly, which is what we did.

All and all it worked out quite well, as they were able to spend the time looking at her gifts and keeping all the attention, particularly his.  There is nothing so distracted as a child who is anticipating a gift, and it was a real blessing to see his pride in all that he had done (and yes, I only helped and gave a little direction).  And in addition to all that, she was deeply moved by it as well, and had he not been such a nitnort, I am guessing the tears I could see welling up would have just came.  So they sat and looked at it all together.

The frame is pretty self-explanatory, but he has those pictures in order.  And every picture is of them both, including in the book…..just him and her.  He picked out all of them and decided which ones went where, and of course designed his own cover.  He almost didn’t make it to the real Valentine’s Day though as in “our office” together, (past his bedtime) he decided on a more elaborate design.  His “editor” urged him to not, and “warned” him that this would not be a good idea.  In fact, the editor told him to “just draw a heart,” which after a bit of “discussion” he did.  After it was all done however, that little snake took a pencil and drew arms and legs on the heart and then just looked at his editor and laughed.  It reminded me of my mom once telling me that she hoped I would have the kids I deserved, yet tonight I thought God would think I had already paid…..and twice.  Of course I did think He might be saying (God) you will do this until you get it right, but I am always heading in the wrong direction!

Anyway, I suppose it doesn’t matter as it was not about me, but about him and his mom.  He did a great job too and I enjoyed working with him.  Mind you I don’t want to do it again, but it was fun while it lasted.

And speaking of things that last, I have lasted to the end of the day and quite honestly considering it all, it is a miracle.  But while he worked I finished my stuff for her too.  We are all on a schedule……and with Valentine’s Day tomorrow, I do not want to be behind in mine!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+