You know I am a priest, albeit a married one, but I ran across this picture tonight as I was feeling a need to be a bit nostalgic, and it reminded me of something from Scripture.

In Scripture, in more than a few places, Jesus talks to people about signs. We don’t need to do a deep exegesis here to know that what he was saying when He said you see the clouds and then it storms that He means to say there are some things that are so clear we ought not to miss them.

And that’s what I thought about when I saw this picture. As Ben is 7 now, it is not all that old. But you just look at him at whenever it was, maybe 2 to 3 years back, and think why in the world should I be surprised by what I see in him now?  And further, if you even meet his brother, well how could I EVER be surprised that this is all going this way?  I even thanked Steph the other day for being the “normal one,” but they are all my kids, and even that is a stretch.

Today when I picked Ben up from school it was very cold, very windy, and in the 30’s. Yes, it was cloudy, but in no way did it ever merit a 7-year old who now thinks he is a meteorologist to look up and say “Dad, I think that is a super cell.” And after explaining to him for the 10,000th time why it wasn’t, he moved onto tell me how in a tornado you might not be safe even in a storm cellar.

I was baffled, that is,until tonight. It hit me that I have dealt with all of this before, just in different forms. Scotty was every bit as bizarre as his brother, so much so that we call them twins, even though they are separated by 14 years. And Steph, the normal one, I had to kick out of the house at Ben’s age to GO PLAY as all she wanted to do was stay inside and do math problems (yes, her idea of fun at that age). In retrospect, they boys’ philosophy I get, where Steph came from is an anomaly.

But regardless, I would not trade a one of them, even for something I would really want. They are pretty awesome kids and pretty wonderful human beings.  Sure, they may march to the beat of their own drummers, but I admire them for that.

After all, life is too short. One day you are here, and the next you could be sucked up by a super cell in the dead of winter.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

This is actually a surprise post. I am not a member of the Cult of Apple, although I use a MacBook Pro, have an iPad, and an iPhone. I switched to it originally for a reason, but have never bought onto the wonderful superiority of one over another. I do not have the bitten apple logo stickers they give you with your computer on my truck, as I am far more irritated Apple and Microsoft refuse to talk collaborate with each other. People like me always have a hard time when we have to use these two competing technologies simultaneously.

But I use a program called Omnifocus that helps me mange my life. Yes, it is a “system” that is designed to get things done in one’s life.  A businessman might use it to manage his job and all he has to do, but for me, I use it to parallel a damaged brain, as when I struggle it is easily capable of being that brain for where I can forget and get confused, it never does.  It has been a wonderful companion.

But that program is only on Apple, and although it works seamlessly without fail, what does not do the same is my new MacBook Pro. Did I mention it was new? You see it is NEW.  But on Sunday, it died, even though it was fully charged. But it was NEW.  I had a lot going on that I was working on, and it is ALL backed up, but in reality a dead computer doesn’t connect all that well with a backup. Why, because it is DEAD.

Oh but no worries as Apple has great customer service. Over the years we have purchased 2 iPhones, 5 iPads, and two MacBook Pros. If you have an issue you go online and enter a serial number and call and you are taken through resolution fairly quickly. In the cult, even as a peripheral or resistant member, you get that Disneyworld kind of “fast pass” service.  Of course that is unless the last NEW Mac is somehow put under an old email address you deactivated, and they don’t know who you are and you can no longer sign in under it. In that case you wait on hold for a LONG time waiting to talk to anyone you can, as you are not identified as “one of them.”  It is like Purgatory with provocation as you are forced to listen to on-hold music about how seamlessly and well all their products work. It just seemed a lot longer as my computer was DEAD. And then, when they did answer and were very nice, I could have an appointment to bring it in on TUESDAY in Indianapolis (50 miles away and I a BUSY) or I could drive it to Mishawaka (my hometown) on Sunday (2.5 hours) but it sounded like they would be keeping it.  If I took it to Mishawaka, I would have to pick it up there too…..whenever it was done.

So I kept the appointment for Tuesday (today) and got myself out of Purgatory alone. I read up about this problem on Mac sites and by myself in a few hours was able to get it turned on, and at least finish some of the work. Today it died again, even though I still consider it NEW, and I drove the hour to the Apple Store and met with them expecting to keep it. On the phone they had told me to expect that, the guy I met said originally he thought we would be replacing it, but he was able to get it moving and working, and said at least I could take it and get my work that is on some urgent deadline done this week, and deal with it if it happens again.

During a normal time of life I would have told them I just needed the new one then, which I would have to wait for, but his offer was quite sensible. I needed to work my real plan and not a back-up one. But regardless, being able to do so was a surprise. As was being able to post this, as I certainly could not do so on my phone.

But here I am, willing, and now still able. Don’t get me wrong, this to me is all still a mess and the fact that it is as late as it is reflects the fact that there has been a significant detour in my week. But I will take it as a small victory and a win rather than the first domino to fall of a chain. The perspective it big, the win is better.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Upon my arrival at home tonight at 10pm, I decided to sit down and type this post before calling it a day. It was a busy day with a Licensure Board Meeting we observed for those in counseling professions and then a long drive up to Marion where I attended two classes tonight. So needless to say I am beat, and stressed and wanting to give myself some good feelings before heading to bed (which everyone else here headed to long ago).

But this picture made me laugh as it was Ben’s first birthday. You will note the bib, which only meant Steph got to him first, as we all had them. But it was not just the memory of that day, but the interactions between our family as we have all raised him together. I am not qualified to make a diagnosis, but I would say we have done a fairly good job, as Ben seems only moderately screwed up, at least most of the time.  If you look at his mouth he still eats the same, and at some point in his development he stopped opening his eyes in pictures, regardless of how many you took. And if you look at the high chair he was strapped into, you will understand that he was easier to manage then too.

Of course at almost 7 1/2 he is quite mobile and does not seem to have much concerns for your privacy, your stuff, or your apparent unenlightened mind not want to talk about complex meteorology or whatever he is into at the moment.  Each kid has been different, but when you see them together you see very clearly just how very much the same they are. I pray everyday they will get more of the Mongold DNA over the Tirman DNA, but their behaviors have already indicated their paths. So using the technical phrase, we are totally hosed as a family. But as the provider of that DNA I can say I am very comfortable with that.

But I was glad to get home through the white out conditions I fought for about 20 miles of my trip home tonight. And despite the white knuckling drive, which is a lot to say from a northerner, it was great to just come home to my office and sit and look at some of these pictures.  It makes me feel good.  And tonight as I close a long day, that was just what I needed.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Holy Smokes, when it rains, it pours! I am currently on my 30 day old MacBook Pro, that I bought to replace my 4 year old MacBook Pro because it wasn’t keeping up with all that I do. But today, out of nowhere it just shut off, and by shutting off, I mean DEAD. Not even the power cord lit up.

I received an email from my Uncle Al quite a few months ago who is not just one of the Patriarchs of my family, but a regular reader of this, my blog. I can still remember a line within it commenting upon my decision to stop writing it, “the dragons must be winning.”

I suppose to some extent he was right in stating that. I hadn’t stopped my blog for any reason in particular, other than I was tired, my life had changed, and I was under the impression that the primary reason for my blogging, cognitive therapy to address symptoms of the stroke I had suffered n 2008, was no longer needed. Yep, I really felt healed to some extent, or at least to the extent that I thought I would be. I also never even considered any possible regression as a consequence. After all, the body I maintain now by not doing the regime I did as an athlete 35 years ago I am sure is just as fit as the one I had then. What kind of moronic thinking is that?

In fact, Uncle Al was right, and the dragons were winning. And as a guy who always finished on top or at least fought like hell to get there, why was I so compliant about putting myself out to pasture? It was a good question to consider and one I should have done long ago. And what I needed was not some philosophical journey of examination and re-purposing, what I needed was a good swift kick in the pants, although I am drawn to use more descriptive language here.

So let’s get back up to speed here. Yes, I left my position as the Rector of the parishes I was over, and the very capable PT Morgan, who was my assistant has assumed that position. I still am the Superior of an Order, who has I believe suffered deeply from my hiatus from parish life. In truth, I have not celebrated or delivered a Sunday sermon IN A CHURCH in over a year. Yet I have planted many churches and have trained many clergy. The difference? It’s the dragons. I have given up leading for thinking, and I have given up action for hopes of invitation.  But such action, or lack thereof, only allows the dragons to run loose. It’s offensive to me, and I know I am capable of better, and more than that, I know I need to do better.  Dragons don’t have a lot to fear when when those who fight them never engage.

So enough thinking, let me bring this up to date.  But to take the famous words of Inigo Montoya, “No, there is too much. Let me sum up.”

Amanda and I are still married, and although I am sure she sometimes considers homicide (justifiable) to this point she has let me live. Steph graduated from college in May, her Lindenwood Lions made it to the Final Four in NCAA Division II and the finished 3rd in the nation. She now is back at home working as “bench chemist” (her degree is in chemistry) to get some experience before either heading to graduate school or a non-entry level chemist’s position (all chemists start on the bench).

Scotty and Kenzie were married in July and I had the great privilege of officiating at the service, so we can all question its legality. But they moved to an apartment in Temecula, California not too far from Camp Pendleton where Scotty is stationed. Kenzie TIRMAN, is finishing her degree online from there. AND, we now have a “grand-dog” named Bentley who is a favorite of Ben’s.

And as for Mr. Ben, second grade is going marvelously. He has now given up on Minecraft and other games he talked about too much for his new career in meteorology. He knows way too much about the weather, and is always bringing up weather related Armageddon scenarios that he assess by seeing just one dark cloud in the sky. And hanging with him makes me thank Steph every time I see her for not weirding me out like her brothers. I mean if the truth be known, and I had no sons and just three Stephs, I would have three daughters.  Stick with me, I am here all week.

But my point in all of this is that I need to put on some armor and mount my horse and get back at it. Of course since I have no armor and no horse, I would prefer you to take this metaphorically. BUT, I will be looking for people interested to plant in TWO different areas soon……Indianapolis and Marion (Indiana). The primary purpose in this is because that is what I am called to do.  And the second is that I am also taking some classes every week in both locations and stewardship of time and resources is ALWAYS important.

But please pray for me that I move ahead in ways that are a blessing to others. I have noticed my thinking and writing are better when I commit to this, and I also notice a lot more people get reached with the Gospel when I act and don’t theorize. Let me know what you think. Let me know what you suggest. Let me know if you want to go along.

Just let me know. The picture is an oldie but a goodie, but a favorite of mine.

It is a blessing to have written this! I hope it blesses you as well.

Tommy+

If I were actively pastoring a church, all this would all make sense, as this often go haywire during Holy Week.  But I am not doing 130 services in 8 days like I used to, so shouldn’t life slow down? Well of course not!

Here at the Tirman home we are currently dealing with our dog Viper who suddenly Tuesday evening took a huge turn for the worse.  You may remember that he had a massive tumor removed late last year, and we had thought it was encapsulated.  Of course the first thing that goes through your head is that it was not.  But it was nighttime, and our vet was closed, and in all honesty, he is almost 11 and we had decided to have this surgery and then just let him enjoy his life till its end.  He is not just a very familiar part of our vet’s practice, but he is a celebrity there and we decided to wait it out till morning if he made it, and take him into see her rather than scaring him with unfamiliar places and people.

He made it through the night, although we didn’t fare too well.  Amanda slept on the floor next to him, and no one slept too much.  I carried him downstairs as he suddenly cannot manage and took him to her first thing in the morning.  He was pale and a mess.  But she discovered he had a pretty good fever, and when I say good, I mean significant AND good that he had a fever.  Tumor reoccurrence can cause fever, but so can infection.  And I have never seen her so happy to see him sick.  Hopefully, it is just a bad infection, but he got a shot, some new pills (antibiotics) and his narcotics and anti-inflamatories were increased significantly.

The good news is that he is still with us, although still sick, he is much more stable.  Also, since we were all not crying and holding his paws, we were all able to sleep as well.  Last night Ben wanted to take floor duty and did.  And I think Viper liked it as he can sleep on the air mattress with a little guy, whereas when it was Amanda, he was on his bed.

We are not out of the woods though.  But I overheard a heartfelt talk yesterday that explained it all.  Ben was having a private conversation with Viper and said, “even though you are sick, you beat cancer, and you can beat this.”  Viper is all of ours, but really Scotty’s dog, and before he left for the Marines he asked Ben to take care of his dog for him.  I’d say he is keeping his end of the bargain.

Sorry for the delay my friends.  God Bless and have a blessed Holy Thursday!

Tommy+

Conference Champions!!

As most of you who read this know, I was down in Florida last week to watch Steph and the then #10 Lindenwood Lions play Rollins and Florida Southern.  I left on Saturday, but they stayed and beat St. Leo on Sunday before returning home to Missouri.  Amanda (a green belt with blue tips) and Ben (a green belt) stayed home and clearly know how to defend themselves.  Plus, at 80 pounds, our dog Viper would be nothing to mess with if he happened to be awake…..but I digress.

And yes, I have been fighting a brutal battle with my head as well since well before I left for Florida Wednesday, April 2nd.  It has been killing me, and still is, but the meds help. and I am at least level.

What you don’t know is that we just got home from SPRING BREAK tonight.  And since I didn’t feel great, and since we had people coming in to take care of Viper and Puddy, I just didn’t want to advertise we were gone.  It is pretty darn safe here as we live in a town of just under 2000 people and have ample police, fire, and neighbor protection as well as things like alarms and such.  But as my wife’s grandma used to say, “you don’t borrow trouble.”  And we don’t.

I however am more spent than I have been in awhile.  I have been gone 12 days, have seen three lacrosse games in two states hundreds of miles from each other…….BUT I HAVE BIG NEWS!!

Sincethe Florida trip was such a success, the Lions are no longer #10…….they are now #5.  Pending no disasters, they should make it to the National Tournament in May, but will not know for certain until May 4th.  BUT this afternoon in Missouri they beat Regis and captured their third straight CONFERENCE TITLE (thus the grey shirts)  And there celebration picture posted tonight even included Ben.  He is in his element with all those girls and they love him.  It is fun to see for all of them.

But the #4 team lost to #2 and badly.  The Lions lost to the #2 team too, but only by two.  They may trade spots.  Three regular season games to go and then three more for Nationals.  This is it, and as a Senior her last chance.  But they appear to be ready.  They have heart, they have skill, and they a seeing the reality of what they can play up to.  It is exciting, even more exciting than that bed I am heading to.

But I promised the Jamie Miller I would post this picture tonight in this blog!  Congratulations Lions we are all so proud of you.  Each game is as important as them all.  Each game begins 0-0.  And when you believe, you can see incredible things happen.  I have seen it before.  And I a
m confident I will see it again.

It’s your ball, it’s your game, and it’s your championship.  Keep your sticks up, control the ball, and play your game…..because one champion t-shirt is pretty cool.  But I’ve gotta believe that two might feel even better.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Well, for as much as it can be, we will call this progress.  My headache is still killing me, however, it IS getting better and not getting worse, and although I am certainly the wrong kind of doctor to make any type of diagnosis on this, I will say I believe it to be a good sign.

Of course such things do not make for riveting reading, but then again I believe that if you are a regular reader you 1) may have been sentenced by the courts to read this, 2) have some sort of sadistic streak, or 3) really understand the reasons that I write, as they have very little to do with amassing a following.  I will confess that I am amazed at how many people do read this, but without posting about the kids and my wife I suppose it would have all the relevance of Robinson Cursoe writing to himself on that remote island, particularly as he was a fictional character.  And although I am not fictional, (as my wife is disappointed by this fact every morning) I can say I find what I write about as alluring as waiting at the DMV.  (I would have said watching paint dry, but I am from Indiana, and that is something I enjoy)

All this is to say that I am back in the land of the living, and as I always find, it is ALWAYS still here waiting for me.  As a point in fact, in the middle of all this, Ben decided that he needed a chicken.  No, not on a plate, but a real, live, clucking, filthy chicken.  And, since chickens get lonely, we need more than one, and we needed to raise them from chicks.

So not wanting to be a disappointment as a father in the midst of my last chance, (since it bothers me that my wife wakes up crying every morning, and my other two kids just laugh when I say “move home”) I decided to give it a try and bought Ben 10 baby chickens.  Now Steph HATES chickens (for REAL, they are a major phobia of hers) and but Scott loves these kind.  My question is, do we have to their box from time to time to classify them as “free range?” (Yes, that is food and water in there with them……he is not right)

But this also is progress.  It got Ben to stop asking for chickens, and brought us all some peace.  And when you have a bad headache, peace is a valuable commodity.

Have a great day my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

I would like to say I am just forgetting, but I am not.  In fact, I am fighting one of the worst sinus infections I have had in years…….and all while I have been traveling.  My first dose (intended to fix it all) of antibiotics ended while I was with Steph and I was a LOT better, but somehow not feeling all that right. (My wife will tell you she feels that I am never quite right, but if we thought she had good judgement we probably wouldn’t be calling her MY wife) And on Saturday in the airport my head started hurting and I started to feel a bit warm.  My face and ears went a bit red again and yes, here on Tuesday I am still miserable.  I am trying to rest and taking meds and pushing fluids, all while thank God that I am not an old horse as I am sure someone would be walking me out to pasture with a shotgun.  But until I am at least able to get my senses back I cannot guarantee I can post or do much of anything.  I am now committed to resting between my bride’s reminders of how she felt I should have gone to the doc about six weeks ago when this started.  I however, being a guy and much smarter than her, was sure that it would just “run its course.”  But I do confess that for the very first time ever, she was right and I was wrong.  I am sure I will listen to her next time.

Probably about after 35 years of age your body just hurts occasionally in places and you kind of just accept it and get used to it.  Headaches, joint pain, achy muscles, iffy vision, and other things have just been part of my life as long as I can remember.  No big deal in my mind.  But I apparently can no longer get away with the philosophy of the black knight in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.”  This is clearly more than a flesh wound.

But I will do my best, as I believe I am my best when I am in my rhythm and this blog is a vital part of that.  Keep me however in your prayers as I have an unusually high tolerance for pain, yet this is kicking my butt.  In the end however, I will prevail.  After all our grass is started to grow, and Amanda has made it clear that she is not driving the tractor.

Enjoy this gratuitous picture of Ben meeting his grandpa’s dog “Olie.”

Have a great day my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Stephanie post-game…..clearly miserable!

I had every intention of posting last night when I got back to my hotel, but in truth, by the time that I got there, which was AFTER midnight, I just didn’t have the energy.  I was able to set my alarm clock and put my head on a pillow, but not much more after that.  I had come from Steph’s hotel where the team is staying so I could say goodbye.  I was certain they would be up awhile.

But why?  Well because Steph and her teammates knocked off the #5 team in the country at the #5 team’s field too!  It was a spectacular win, and I was so very blessed to be down there (in Florida) to see it.   Of course the #5 team will probably no be #5 on Monday morning when the poll comes out, but the Lions (Steph’s team) came into the game at #10.  They also beat the #11 team (Rollins), but they too will drop.  I can hardly wait to see the poll.

But I was to say I am very very proud of Steph, because a little known fact about her is that it keeps alive the possibility of her not graduating in May………she and I both would LOVE it that way too.  Oh, she’ll get her degree, but she may not be there.  You see if the Lions happen to go to the National Championship Tournament the Final conflicts with her graduation date, and she and the other seniors just want to get to that field in Virginia.  I am hoping that they do.

But in May Steph will be awarded a Bachelor’s of Science in Chemistry, and all while playing four full years for one of the top teams in the country.  They travel extensively and to be honest, I probably couldn’t make the time to watch the news if I was majoring in Chemistry, let alone keep her schedule.  She has papers, projects, and labs.  She doesn’t make up, she stays ahead. And they seem to practice all the time.  She is one impressive young woman.

Post-game Lions!

I am proud of her for all her accomplishments for sure, but more than anything, I am proud to be her father.  You know, if she didn’t do any of this, or even not gone away for school, who she is as a person is absolutely amazing.  And she calls me dad.  How cool is that?

They play again tomorrow and then back to Missouri where they have a little time to heal some injuries and prepare for their next game on Palm Sunday.  But at least today (Saturday) they can have a little rest and enjoy weather that would only disturb a penguin.  They deserve it, as they have earned it.  And as I told her before I left, I thought I couldn’t ever imagine anything better, but then there were those thoughts about her not graduating…………….

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+