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The end of a perfect day…….

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Today was the first day of Summer, but more than that, it was my best day yet since my stroke. I felt great all day long and enjoyed every bit of it! Working in Nashville went well, and even folding laundry at the end of the day didn’t bother me at all AND I did it all on my own!! (I must have brain damage). But I hadn’t had a day like today in a long time, so nothing was going to taint it!

And I am all set for tomorrow too. I didn’t feel real good about my sermon, but it seemed to be received well at St. Matthew’s Nashville, so I will use it again tomorrow and it will appear on our website (www.IndianaAnglican.com) tomorrow afternoon. Deacon Tony Bender, (and his wife Denise), were at St. Matthew’s for the first time tonight, and it was great to see the people welcome him as one of the family there. There was no cake, which disappointed me (after this past week I sort of hope to see cake everywhere) but I did sneak a cookie or two and it was just what I needed to counteract all the salad I have been eating since my birthday!

I was just so very thankful to have a good day, and not just a good one, but a great one. Today I felt NORMAL, and that has been a long time coming I can tell you! And hopefully tomorrow will bring another great day!

For now however, I will finish this up. My laptop is with me in bed, and Amanda is already asleep just a foot or so away. I do have a bit of pain, but I am confident it is nothing serious, It is actually just the heel of an infant who is but 9 days shy of 1. He is asleep in a wedge in between us, but he is clearly more “in between” towards my side than hers (he works for her…. you know it and I do too!!).

But what do I care? It’s been a perfect day! I am blessed to have lived it, and I hope for many more too! And not just for me, but for you as well!

God bless and goodnight!!!

Tom+

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Of C.S. Lewis, Scotty, and Narnia…….

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My son Scotty and I are reading “The Chronicles of Narnia” together this summer, and today was the day we discussed the first book, “The Magician’s Nephew.” We had a great time sitting together talking about it, with both of us bringing our particular insights.

It reminded me of how broad our experiences of life can be if we only look a bit deeper. I would have never imagined Scotty and I doing something like this together. We have done all the other usual dad/son things like playing ball, skating, mowing, riding bikes, and watching our beloved Cubs. But reading books together and talking about them was a real stretch for us both.

In truth, I never read when I was Scott’s age. As a matter of fact, it was in grad school when I first confessed to a professor of mine that I had not read one book for leisure in my life. It wasn’t that I couldn’t read, because I read a lot for class. I just considered reading for fun a waste of my time……a mistake I regretted deeply later in life.

My professor, Locke Bowman, knew better and he made me read “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer” and “Huckleberry Finn” for class (it was an independent study) and we used both books then for discussions about educational theory. He knew he could draw me into reading, and he did! It was a brilliant move, and the mark of a true teacher with a passion for learning. Thanks Locke, I haven’t stopped reading since.

I certainly don’t want Scott to deprive himself of something so meaningful like I did, and after our discussion today I believe that will not be a problem. We move this week to “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe,” and we are both looking forward to discussing it next Friday!

What a great way to begin that 47th year! I am blessed that he will read with me…..now if I can just get him to clean his room!

God bless!

Tom+

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Of aging and the need of direction……..

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Another day, but this one was my birthday……..my 47th, and it was a good one. Though I am still not feeling quite right (just like yesterday), I had a day filled with well-wishers, family, and friends. I had a lunch meeting with 3 priests and one bishop, and then I went out for dinner for the family thing.

I did exhibit a few icky stroke moments early in the day. On the way to my lunch meeting I was detoured by some construction and got LOST! I was really frustrated because I knew where I was, but just couldn’t get my bearings. Since I was alone, there was no one there to give me advice. I was late to my lunch meeting and thought I probably ought to get me one of those GPS things that I have been too stubborn to get (okay too cheap to get) because it would not only get me to where I need to be, but would end a lot of frustration. It was just a passing thought…….but guess what Amanda and the kids got me???? Yep, a TomTom. How fitting.

So I will begin tomorrow just one day closer to that AARP card I have been seeking (for the Senior Coffee Discounts). My run of cakes is now over, and it is a good thing too……I need to get back to healthy living. I am just thankful for that week each year……fortunately Ben’s birthday is on the 30th, so I will have a little help with withdrawal I might experience!

Thanks for checking in, and God bless.

Tom+

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Let’s say goodbye to 46………..

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Well tomorrow is my birthday, and I have to say I am not unhappy about letting 46 go. Though there were definite highlights to the year, such as Ben’s birth, all the things happening with Steph and Scott, and my nomination for an Academy Award (okay, that last one was just a stroke-induced delusion) the stroke has made the last part of this year quite frustrating. As a matter of fact, today was my worst day since having it! I was jittery all day, confused more than normal, my face went all numb again on the left side, and I had to sleep a lot of the day just to heal up. I did get to speech therapy at 4:15 and it was productive, but difficult. Needless to say, I am just so very happy to get to the day’s end (and the 46th year’s end too!)

You know, I can never change the things that have happened, but I certainly can do a lot about what the future brings, and that’s how I want to look at 47 and beyond. Where I come from they use the expression, “There’s no use crying over spilled milk!” And it’s true! It’s really what we do from the spill that’s important!

As for me, I intend to poor myself a new glass, and if that spills I’ll even poor another. Life can be filled with twists and turns, and the Lord never promises us it will be easy. He promises instead to be there with us! I am going to make the most of the time I have, and with His Help I believe 47 is going to be a great year!

But for now, my brain needs some rest, so it’s off to bed. I hope I feel better tomorrow…..after all, it is the last opportunity for cake in my family for quite some time!

God bless!

Tom+

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A Tuesday drive of a lifetime…………

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WOW, things sure have changed since I got my driver’s permit in 1977. The cars are safer, the roads are better, and gas is no longer 62 cents a gallon! But I need not complain, not even in a nostalgic way, because Scott got his driver’s permit today and he then promised me in no uncertain terms that I would never have to drive again. How about that for an unexpected blessing? I am still just 46 and I have my own chauffeur. Who’da thunk?

So anyway, with his permit in hand we went out for our first drive (directly from the license branch), and it was a long drive too. I was so impressed at how well he handled the car. He made me very proud! I have to say that even though he had assured me (as he has since he has been 5 or 6) that he could drive quite well, I was still somewhat skeptical. But he showed he could. In truth, he was a very safe and attentive driver, and very responsible behind the wheel. In predicting Steph and Scott’s driving styles at their beginnings I had it all wrong! I thought Steph would be the cautious one, but I would always have to tell her to slow down. Scott I figured would be the jackrabbit! But he just took his time, taking everything in, and making sure he understood every move. I felt very comfortable with his driving. It was a great start! (And Steph is a remarkable driver now too) And don’t worry, Ben is in the chase too. He already has a toy with a steering wheel……so this is to say, it never really ends.

But for now I will just sit back and enjoy where we have come to…….but all from the passenger seat now. After all, a promise is a promise……..and I could really get used to not ever driving again!

God’s blessings to you all (and one of mine is wearing a chauffeur’s hat)!

Tom+

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Gentleman, start your engine……….

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Well it finally arrived……Scotty is 15 and we had a small gathering for his birthday tonight. (Yes, with cake #3). We sat around laughing and talking and listening to Scott and Steph play guitar and sing. Ben got into the act by banging on Steph’s electric guitar, but it didn’t sound nearly as good as Steph. Ben left Scotty’s electric guitar alone. Clearly only two of the three kids are great musicians at this point, but all three try. I went and got Ben my guitar which does not plug into any amp. He banged on that while the other two played……and, he really feel part of the band.

The big thing though was Scott’s birthday. I am so proud of him! He is such a fine young man, and tomorrow will be an even BIGGER DAY for him. Tomorrow we will get his driver’s permit and he will begin to drive! He is SOOOO excited about that and so are we. Scott has tried to drive his entire life, even before he could even talk, and he has talked about it since he learned the words. I know it is going to be a great time. We have worked to get to this day his entire life!

So anyway, Happy Birthday Scotty! You made it and we are proud of you! By 11:00 am tomorrow you will be on the road learning to drive. It’s been a long time coming, and you are ready. I am looking forward to getting into the passenger seat and seeing that smile that will be there all day!

Praise God, my boy has finally done it!

Fr. Tom+

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A Father’s Day for the ages……..

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Today is of course Father’s Day and we started our wonderful Father’s Day celebration this evening at 5. Working on Sundays sometimes changes your schedule, and that was the case today. But it was a blast. Amanda made “chicken marsala” and it was great. And yes, as predicted there was cake…..carrot cake, and it was delicious as well. And my dad was even able to join us for dinner as well. What a great surprise!

The highlight of the day however had to be my gift from Steph and Scott. They are both musicians and they spent tons of time writing a song for me, which they had recorded to play for me. (The song apparently took 13 takes to get it recorded too…the 12th take, which they had recorded “perfectly,” Scotty’s microphone did not work on. So it was gonna be 13)

That song was one of the funniest things I have ever heard too. It made quite a bit of fun of me, and they cracked up as it was playing. (That was why they couldn’t do it live!) As a matter of fact, they were laughing so hard while it was playing that they had to get me and my dad the lyrics sheet so we could make out the words over their cracking up! And Ben enjoyed it too. He couldn’t understand what we were all laughing at, but he was just happy to be at a party! It was a great day.

So Happy Father’s Day to everyone. And thanks to my family for making it so special!

I hope all of you had a day as great as mine!

God bless!

Tom+

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Back to Nashville, back to normalcy……

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We finally made it down to Nashville thanks to good weather and a lot of drying out of the area down there! And it was marvelous! The people seemed happy to see me, and there was even a cake! Had I even the inkling that there would have been cake I would have come from the hospital directly.

And actually, with the addition of this “surprise cake,” it will mean I will see a total of four (4), count em, 4 cakes this week. Today was 1, Father’s Day is tomorrow 2, Scotty’s birthday is Monday 3, and my birthday is Thursday 4! If I am not in some type of “cake-coma” by Friday morning then my pancreas needs to head to the Smithsonian! I know, it’s gonna be a tough week, but I am gonna take this one for the team!

In truth however, the big celebration was not the cake, but rather it was being able to return. Sure I struggled a bit, but deep down I know I am truly blessed. I love what I do and I am surrounded by people I love when I get to do it. And getting to Nashville was a BIG GOAL that I made for myself in April. It helped me stay motivated and on the path. And now that I have made it, I will set my sights on other goals.

So all and all, today has been a great day, and I am voting to quit while I am ahead. Off to bed for me!! For one service is not three, nor is it two. And I need to be rested for the two I have left tomorrow….for the weekend is not back to normalcy unless I am able to do all three!!

Keep me in your prayers! I appreciate it!

Fr. Tom+

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Rain rain go away……….

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It’s raining so much here as of late I am wondering whether I might be living in Seattle. The sump pump in our basement is located in the same room where our dogs sleep and it has had quite a workout. And even though they love water (they are Golden Retrievers) if that pump keeps running, I will not be surprised if they build a dock and get a boat down there.

Oddly enough, I am a guy who really loves rain storms, particularly thunderstorms. As a kid I remember sitting out watching them roll in over the horizon. I apparently was not all that bright back then, because now that I think about it we used to watch them roll in while sitting on the top of a big metal electrical box. I survived though. I am however one of those rare birds who was hit by lightening (when I was 16) but it wasn’t while sitting on that box. And as I understand it I just need to be hit 7 more times to claim the world record. I think I’ll pass.

Sadly, the rain and storms I love so much, this year, are causing hardship for others. I know our parishioners at St. Matthew’s in Nashville just want to dry out! I will be able to see some of the devastation down there in Nashville tomorrow when I go to do the service there. But what a difference time makes. Last year we couldn’t buy rain, this year we can’t keep it away. I suppose we just have to deal with what we get. As for me, I will just be thankful to be there and to see what they need. There is a meeting down there Monday night to further coordinate relief efforts. We hope to be a part.

As for me personally, today has been a better day, though I am very tired. I am trying to not do as much, and of course the rain all day has been helpful for that. But I hope to finish the day better than yesterday. We’ll see! There’s still a little bit to go!

Keep praying and thanks!

Fr. Tom+

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The bull in the china shop……….

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Today was a day that I clearly did too much. I worked, Scotty and I mowed and trimmed two lawns, I went to my first session of speech therapy (I know I really drug my feet about getting there) and then we went to dinner with my dad. And by the time we were at dinner, it was clear to everyone that I was a bit dazed.

Of course when we got home it was still pretty early, so in my infinite brilliance I thought I would do more. I started reading that “My Stroke of Insight” book I talked about a few days back. The second and third chapters were on the science of the brain, and sadly they were just what I needed to spill over the top. I have clearly discovered another blindspot and it was very frustrating. It was as if my brain was nailed in place to those pages. I would read paragraphs over and over, yet nothing would stick. I would concentrate and be very intentional about maybe just one of them (the paragraphs, just trying to finish ONE) and find myself moments later thinking intently about something else, even though my eyes were still locked on that book in the same place. In saner moments, I would put something like that down, justifying it by admitting it was not my day. But not today! I was going to be a bull and push right through. I was tired, irritated, frustrated and clearly by this point downright stupid. I placed myself smack-dab in the middle of the china shop, and worse yet, it was filled with Tiffany Crystal……..

One of the eerie things about recovery, at least for me, is the unique sense of awareness I possess of what is happening with me and within me while quite often lacking the ability to do anything about it. That was happening here. The speech therapist yesterday mentioned helping me develop those skills, but sadly the day had its way with me before they arrived.

Tomorrow will be a better day, Lord knows it has to be. I know I am difficult to deal with, and no one knows that better than me. And the guilt I carry about that, though typical/normal is just another issue for me to get through.

Let me say this…….my wife and kids are saints for helping me through this, and though it is still a long road to travel, I intend to make it up to them. In the meantime, ice cream is going to have to go a long way!

Keep praying…..I am going to get there!

Tom+