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Getting in when the cows come home…….

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Well I have plenty to say, it just would be irresponsible at this point to be saying it. We just returned from taking Steph and Scott on a day trip, and it is 2:12 am! My body has been pushed over the limit, not by doing too much, but by staying up too long! So I will ask for forgiveness, and promise to write in the morning!

Thanks for understanding! I am sometimes up this late/early, but it usually means something is wrong! Of course tonight/this morning something is……..I am clearly not smart enough to go to bed!

Nite and God bless! I will write in a few hours!

Tom+

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Forgetting that which I thought I would remember……ouch!

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One of the up-sides of having a stroke is that when you forget things, people seem to give you a lot of room for your mistake. Take this blog for instance…..yesterday I just plum forgot! Could it have been the stroke? Sure. Is it really likely that it was my stroke? Well, probably not.

Of course as a Christian, I suppose I could make the excuse that it was Sunday and the Sabbath. Fine and good, had I not already worked most of the day…..plus it would have been a lie (you don’t take 75% Sabbaths)!

I will admit that I sat down early last night and did attempt to get some thoughts together, which never did come, but at least I tried. Was that failed attempt the stroke? Maybe, but without constant CT scans, doctors and therapists to tell me if it was or not, who’s to know? It probably really doesn’t matter. What mind I have is going to be there with or without excuses! I can no more replace it than I can my arm!

Anyway, Amanda reminded me about the blog tonight as I got home from Nashville and an Alpha Course preview at around 10pm, and she did so in a “I seem to need to be reminding you in a worrisome way.” That’s a sure and certain sign that she thinks it’s a stroke-thing. As for me, I appreciate her concern and gentle nudge…..it is welcome sympathy. I will not let it go to waste. If forgetfulness and confusion get me gentle reminders, maybe a few more forgetful episodes will relieve me from loading the dishwasher and mowing the lawn.

It’s worth a try…….but I won’t hold my hopes too high. After all, I am not crazy….I’ve just had a stroke.

Nite my friends and I am sorry to have forgotten to come back to my typing last night!

God bless. forgetting

Tom+

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There can be no more gunpowder left in China………

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It is July 19th, and it absolutely amazes me the amount of fireworks I am seeing and hearing from my back porch tonight at 10:30 at night. It finally led to my looking up the law, and sure enough it has been changed. In Indiana, not only are all types of fireworks legal, but you apparently can shoot them off on the big holidays from 9am to midnight. Less we think we have become unreasonable here in the Hoosier State, if it is not a big holiday (so this means ANY OTHER day of the year) we now have to respect our neighbors and stop firing them off by 11pm! IT’S ABSOLUTE LUNACY!!! My neighbors can complain if my stereo is too loud, but not if I am lighting off explosives! (If I were just 35 years younger I would think this was the coolest law in the world, but clearly I am not!)

But I suppose lots of things in our modern world don’t make sense to me, and fireworks is just one of them (and I do not think it is my age). For instance, as a third generation American, I wonder how people can break the immigration laws and come here illegally, and we just turn our heads. My family didn’t come here that way. We followed the rules, and I believe we all should!

And how about all these people we hear about who commit MAJOR CRIMES, who not only have been in jail many times before, but who then never complete anywhere near their sentence. Or how many times do we need to hear about a drunk hitting someone with their car only to find out that they have had a ton of DUI’s before this one? AND ALL THIS OF COURSE IS JUST A SHORT LIST!!! What has happened to order? Where in the world is our common sense? We really need to get a grip on things before it’s too late!

I worry about where we are and where we are headed, and that’s part of why I do what I do. Our world needs to make a turn and head in a better direction, and I believe that a life of faith, and the discipline it requires, is just the ticket we need to get where we need to go.

You see, life is more than fireworks, or just doing what in the heck you want. Following Jesus means loving God and your neighbor, and loving both requires a life of personal responsibility and respect. We are clearly not there, but through Christ I believe we can get there!

It’s quiet now, but I guarantee you Ben is already in my bed. If that’s what it takes to get him through the night tonight peacefully, then so be it. But the world we see still waits for him and for all our children, and I believe we should be concerned. We are its current stewards and they are tomorrow’s. What we will hand them should offer more than we offer now.

I still however have hope for the future, for with God all things are possible. I prayed for the fireworks to stop and they have. I am certain it was not the prayers as much as the neighbors running out of ammo! But nonetheless, if we are going to change anything and make it last, God must be in it! My hope and prayer is that you too want more for our children that the culture we see, and that you will join me in praying for better, and commit yourself to working for better with me as well!

A peaceful night to you my friends, and God Bless!

Fr. Tom+

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It’s late, I’m bored, and I am tired…..thank GOD!

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Well tonight there is no moon, no fireworks, and no distractions because I am writing this early. It has been a busy day and I can’t even begin to express how ready I am to get some sleep! So tonight my daughter’s beliefs that I am “so old” will not be dispelled. I will hit the bed before 10pm tonight (which I believe is pretty late anyhow, but please don’t tell Steph)

In addition to wearing myself out today however I got a lot of things done. We made some progress on our plans for St. Paul’s Greenfield. I was able to speak with my friend Sister Sarah Masterson who is a nun in the northern part of the state. I finished up some final touches on my sermon for tomorrow. And in addition to the usual office stuff, Ben and I also did a few home repairs between the macaroni and cheese and sippy cups. (That’s all Amanda allows me to use, she says I’m messy)

But regardless, lately it seems it always comes down to Puddy and I out here on the porch typing at the end of the day. She’s the perfect assistant to be out here with me as I type, because unlike her canine companions, she never drops a wet ball into my lap or eats the porch rails or the chairs. She just watches birds and bugs till I finish up and we go in. I appreciate her company for the hour or so we are usually out here together….it’s clearly quality time. After all she sleeps about 22 hours a day, and to give me half of her awake time in a day makes me feel tremendously important.

Though I rarely watched it, Jerry Seinfeld made a great living in starring in a show about nothing. Somehow I feel like my day today could be one of his episodes. Not everyday in the life of a priest contains an amazing transformation, an interrupted wedding (at the objection part), the confession of a murder, or an exorcism! If you are expecting any of that, you are watching way too much TV…..(or it may be happening tomorrow). Today was pretty routine!

But today, more than anything, was just a day I got to enjoy with my youngest boy where not a whole lot happened…..thank God for that too!

I will count it as a win, and hit the bed for hopefully some quality sleep.

It has been a great day…..I pray that yours has been one too!

Nite and God bless!

Tom+

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Of blasting away the effectiveness of my fragile mind…….

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The day is done, the moon is full, and I am once again out on the back porch. I was going to say something about how peaceful it was out here, but apparently someone has taken it upon themselves to light a bunch of firecrackers out front our house in the street. Perfect timing!

Sadly, it has taken my mind away from what I was going to write about tonight and I just cannot seem to get it back! Immediately I began to think about those blasts scaring Ben and waking him up, and then that’s right where my mind stays! Dear Lord I love my stroke-damaged mind! I get distracted, my mind goes there, and there it stays until it’s ready to leave! Oh well, I will not worry about it. I have learned that when I do I only frustrate myself. (I also have learned that I never get distracted thinking about a nice big cheeseburger or a beach either!)

Anyway, let me just say I will try again tomorrow. Sleep is great therapy for me and the Lord seems to be giving me new chances to write this each day! I hope to make the best of it tomorrow. Jesus tells us not to worry, and I try not to…but the firecrackers tonight make that hard. But the sun will bring a new day, and with it God’s Son will bring us all more opportunities!

Nite and God Bless!

Tom+

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Profits and loss……..

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As I was considering what to write about today I once again was drawn to the “Verse of the Day” found on the front page of our website, a pretty neat feature sponsored by Christ Notes. Today it is Matthew 16:26 which says, “For what will it profit a man, if he gains the whole world and forfeits his life? Or what shall a man give in return for his life?” In other translations instead of “life” it uses the word “soul.” The idea however is the same. As Christians we are called not to amass treasures on earth, where the Bible points out moth and rust consume, but we are instead called to lay up for ourselves treasures in heaven….for where our treasure is so will our hearts be also!

If we look around however, we can see that many people seem to head in the other direction. TV is filled with tons of ways you can get rich. We glamorize (and sometimes idolize) wealth and celebrity. And there’s a lot of anxiety, especially these days, about OUR economy, and the effects it will have upon US.

But we live in a world that needs to focus less on us, and more upon the Lord. Our economy may have it’s ups and downs, but we should always remember that God’s economy always grows!

You know every person any of us has ever known has come into the world naked and with nothing, and here’s a big secret….the “with nothing” is how they all leave it too (and that includes us). It doesn’t matter how important we are, or how much we have made or have…..in the end we can not take anything with us. You see, it profits us nothing to gain even all we could imagine. The only thing that really matters in the end is our belief in Jesus Christ, for it is through that belief that we indeed gain everything we need…..through Him we gain eternal life!

This life we live really is important and it has a lot of meaning! But we do not find that meaning in things, we find it in our relationship with the very One who created all that we see!

Nite my friends and God bless…..I hope today and all your days are full of the kind of profit that will pay off for eternity!

Fr. Tom+

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Trust me, I am a doctor………………..

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A few years back, after I graduated with my doctoral degree, someone gave me a t-shirt as a joke that says, “Trust me, I am a doctor.”

It of course was good for a laugh. It is one of those kind of shirts that guys sometimes wear because they actually think girls will fall for it. But in truth, girls are pretty smart and they know that most of the guys who wear those shirts are not really doctors, nor do their “property of the Indianapolis Colts Training Camp” or “FBI” shirts mean they are pro football players or special agents. (As a side note, my “property of the Indiana Pacers” shirt DID WORK on Amanda…even though I am just 5’9″ I believe she was distracted by my “I have decided to give up my career in the NBA for the ministry” line….clearly she was spellbound by my noble character)

But as for my “Trust me I am a doctor “shirt, I sometimes wear it around the house. If I wear it out however it is always under something. I guess I am a bit embarrassed by it, but tonight as I was out (wearing it under a jersey) I was thinking, “why should I be embarrassed?”

If the truth be told, I really am a doctor, no not an MD, but a kind that really can be trusted. And I suppose if you think about it, I am the kind that can provide people with what they really need! I can’t fix all that ails you, but I can give you what you need to live forever. I cannot keep you pain free, but I can introduce you to the very One who made the heavens and the earth, who knows pain Himself, and who will walk alongside you, or even carry you through it. What better kind of doctor could I be?

Maybe I should be wearing that shirt out after all…..I don’t need another girl, after all I have one……but I’m seeing that there’s really a lot of truth in its words. And it just might lead to the writing of some very helpful prescriptions!

Nite my friends and God bless….

Tom+

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Of high blood pressure and the prayers for Godly leadership……..

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With my schedule, I have to get most of my news from the Internet, and I have to say that as I have read about the upcoming Lambeth Conference, it is just making my blood boil. Bishops from all over the world are posturing and making their political moves, while real people are neither being fed nor led.

I just finished an article a few minutes ago which cited an interview with Gene Robinson, the gay Episcopal bishop of New Hampshire, who despite not being invited to Lambeth, and despite being one of the primary epicenters of conflict and schism in the Anglican Communion, shoots off his mouth (irresponsibly in my mind) unapologetically and with conviction. AND he heads to Lambeth anyway!

I want to be clear, I do not agree with one bit of Gene Robinson, nor do I find him anything less than offensive, but I will say I believe more conservative Bishops, (and also the ones who confess to be) would be far better off standing with such backbone and conviction. Bishops are supposed to be “defenders of the faith,” but in my experience I have found very few leaders and defenders, and many more weasels and politicians. I did not, and could not be among them. I was convicted in my heart by the Lord to leave the Episcopal Church because of it. I just could not follow opportunistic or immoral leadership.

But even more than that, it points to what we are doing when we follow such errant leadership. The question I suppose is “can we really be living faithfully if we align ourselves by our presence and support, either directly or indirectly, with such rubbish? I don’t think we can. I was always the pastor of good and faithful churches, but it was still a question I had to ask. In the end, I saw the truth. The Bible tells us that you cannot serve two masters. If I was preaching truth but in bed with corruption, well then, I was only deceiving myself. They say that ignorance is bliss, but not when it is risking people’s souls. A paycheck verses my faith and conscience? No no no……I made the right choice. It’s just too bad many of our leaders haven’t been able to make similar ones.

I believe a lot of the leadership I have known has been lost in a sense of their own self-importance over their faith. You cannot complain about what you know is wrong, but then just wait for a time that is safe for you to hop on the train. Lots of guys I knew were doing that, but that’s not leadership. The Lord requires us to pick up our crosses, to do the right thing, and it cannot be just when we find it to be our best opportunity or about what we can lose (such as our cushy offices or our retirements) Jesus indeed requires more.

You know, I will never agree with Gene Robinson, nor any of his cronies. They spout out about all the homophobes, and label priests like me and others in the conservative side of the faith as ignorant, discriminatory, and even intolerant……but I know better. Jesus said, “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” (Mt. 5:11-12)

I do not fear where I am at, nor do I regret being here, for though many have led good people astray, I know I am not one of them. So for now I will pray diligently to see Godly leadership step up, speak up, and lead.

But until then I can see that I will need to be watching my blood pressure.

God bless and keep the faith. It’s worth all your efforts, I swear.

Fr. Tom+

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One of the good guys has gone home……

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I was saddened to hear about the death of Tony Snow over the weekend. Tony was not just a good Christian man, but conservative of my generation who firmly stood for his beliefs with both conviction and humor. His call of course was the media, and he did it, in my opinion, better than most. And I know I, as well as many others, will miss his leadership for the conservative cause.

Men such as Tony Snow, and I suppose I could argue even Tim Russert, reflected their ideologies in such ways that people would listen and learn. And though Russet’s beliefs were often far from my own, both Russert’s and Snow’s were respectful of everyone. They drew people into conversations on pertinent issues rather than just spewing partisan poison. If the world had more of them, I’d just bet we’d be far better off. Both were men of deep faith, and that in itself was a witness we need in Washington DC and far beyond if you ask me!

But as I watched some of the coverage of Tony Snow’s death, it brought a lot back a lot of memories for me. His interviews after his first bout with cancer reminded me a lot of my two sisters that have died from cancer, particularly my sister Stephanie.

You know, sometimes people who know they are dying can teach us a lot about living. I know my sister did. She CHOSE to live everyday because she knew that everyday counted. I thought about that A LOT when I was sitting in the hospital in April after my stroke, and I still do everyday. Tony Snow, Tim Russert, my sisters, a relative, a friend….it doesn’t matter. It is a lesson we do not want to miss! I know I don’t intend to, and I hope you don’t either.

As for me, I will continue to take the lessons I have learned and move ahead. Everyday still matters to me, and I intend to still stand for those conservative causes in which I believe. Life is too short for me not to. But, in faith, I will continue to do it like the great ones have taught me, with good humor, firm conviction, and a faithful and respectful heart.

One of the good ones went home to be with the Lord this weekend. We must say our prayers for him and his family, and to honor his memory, continue to work for the cause.

I hope we all will.

Godspeed to you my friends, and God Bless!

Fr. Tom+

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The one that almost got away………..

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In my endless attempt to order my life, sometimes things just get away. I try my best to remember everything, and now to do so without the aid of countless lists……but occasionally things just evade me. This blog was my Saturday’s big escape. And although it is dated for the 12th, I actually had to write it on the 13th when I woke up. As I went to bed, it was nagging me, “I am missing something,” I thought. Sure enough, when I went to check it this morning, there it was, or better yet said, there it wasn’t.

You might find it odd that I check it each morning, and if you were here with me, you might find plenty of things to be odd. But when you damage your brain, your mind seeks out paths around the damage and new ways to do things you may have done for years. Getting through each day accomplishing all that I do is something I have done my entire 35 years of life (my ability to tell how old I am is still damaged and I am not going to work on it), but one of the ways I manage each day is through a lot of routine.

Last night however, a lot of new things came into play. We are in a different facility for St. Patrick’s on Sunday and all the extras about that worried me. I did bulletins, picked music, got my vestments ready, went over to take care of our friends’ dogs, went to the store, and then sat down right at the laptop and tried to figure out what I was missing! Isn’t that a hoot??? It was typing on the thing I had my hands on, yet it never came to me! Thank God I am not a surgeon!! My insurance would be pretty high!

No worries though, I was up early enough and I figured it out. Puddy and I came out onto the porch and I typed while she protected our house from both bird and bug. The sunrise was spectacular and I am thankful for the opportunity. God is good, and I know that is one thing I will never forget. I hope none of us ever do. But even in the times that we may mess up a bit, or miss, like I did this blog here which was waiting for me, He is always there to provide another chance!

Thank God….oh yeah, I guess that’s what it’s all about anyway!

God bless! Get up and go meet me at Church!

Tom+