All posts by Fr Tom Tirman

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On blogs, theology, headlocks, and blessings……

I read all sorts of things, and at times when I think about this blog I wish that I was writing some sort of deep theological tome or insightful observation from life that would be a bit more blog-worthy in the sea of such insightfulness that we now know as the “blogusphere.”

And of course a few years back, that was exactly the intention of this blog. It started at the time when I had decided to retire from the Episcopal Church, and was going to be a forum of sorts on theology, both good and bad, that no doubt would have been read by about three people (if you counted me). But really, there are plenty of those out there, not just on theology, but politics, and they often seem to be written by writers with a lot to say, but even more of which to let go. And the very fact that they cannot leads me to that I should be very thankful for the fact that I have been able to move on from where I was.
Please do not misunderstand me. I think there IS good theology, and I KNOW I have it. But at some point we need to stop talking about it and battling about it and then just live it. People are going to go where they feel regardless. And although you can witness to them about what it is you believe, head-locking them is really (in my mind at least) not effective Evangelism.
So if there is no objection, or even if there is, I intend to still just use my time here as post-stroke therapy and to just write about what I feel like writing about. It may be deep, or it may not be. I really don’t care. I am just thankful that you my dear friends walk with me on my journey. And I hope and I pray that your lives will be every bit as blessed as mine.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Excuse me??????????

I got home and Ben was all about talking to me……he is still hanging in my office asking a thousand questions. When you are 4 you miss things when they are out of your sight, and I have been gone for over 2 full days. He is no playing spaceships, but has played just about everything and asked me everything since I got home.

The best part was when he was playing with his “Pirates of the Caribbean” Legos that Scotty bought him for his birthday. The things are so very small that I cannot make them out, but the first thing he handed me was apparently Captain Jack’s compass. He asked, “Dad, is this Captain Jack’s compass?” And I replied, “I do not know Ben, I cannot see it. It is very small.” To which he replied, “it’s a compass, is it open?” I said, “I don’t know.” He said, “yes it is.” I said, “okay.”
A few minutes later he asked, “Are these Davey Jones’ testicles?” To which I said, “excuse me?” And he repeated himself quite clearly. So I said, “what do you mean?” And he said, “Are these Davey Jones’ testicles? You know can he see out of them?” To which I THOUGHT, “Oh my I hope not!” But then I got it……he had not clue……he was meaning TENTACLES. (see the picture)…….so I was relieved.
Of course I live with his older brother and sister whom I will QUIZ about this very story because it is a heck of a mispronunciation……but I am not anticipating any confession.
For now I will just laugh at the story and confess how it made my day. Having kids is always an adventure, and today upon my return I got one of those for sure!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless.
Tommy+
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On meeting Elvis…….at Breyerfest 2011…..

I have been in Lexington today and will be most of tomorrow as well, and it has been a pretty productive time. I am staying in a hotel on the north side of town with approximately 10,000 little girls and their moms, along with about 1,000,000,000 plastic horses. Apparently I booked a room during the annual Breyerfest celebration in Lexington…..I just looked it up www.breyerhorses.com/blog/2011/01/28/breyerfest–2011/

But despite the fact that I didn’t fit in, it was really kind of cool. It was really neat seeing tons of little girls and their moms enjoying everything together. All their rooms seemed to be opened up to show off and even sell some of their collections, and I was actually amazed at how very into it they all seemed to be, yet it was something I had never heard of.
But what REALLY amazed me was walking down the hall and hearing a familiar voice…..ELVIS. I headed toward it, convinced they had some sort of impersonator there, but what I found instead was a hotel lounge, karaoke, and a guy who not only sounded a heck of a lot LIKE Elvis, but who LOOKED like him too (he was even in a jumpsuit)…AND HE WAS THE RIGHT AGE AS WELL! SO I did what any other red blooded American would…..I went in and snapped this picture.
As you can see like any picture taken of Elvis, it turned out just like the the ones of Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster.
Oh well……I am heading to bed.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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On the border……

I am on my way to a meeting in Lexington tomorrow and I thought in the interest of getting some rest that I would head to a hotel in Louisville tonight. And for those who do not know, Louisville is right across the border from the great state of Indiana.

It has been a good decision too. The hotel is perhaps one of the nicest I have ever been in, and more that this, it is right next to the Ohio river. The picture is of the river looking east from the boardwalk (although it it cement) by my hotel. It is a beautiful site and one that makes me feel it was the right decision to come. I checked in, I walked to the restaurant (the food was LOUSY, but it was a good walk) and then I walked to the river. It was very relaxing.
Now however I am back in my room and in bed. Tomorrow I will make the short jaunt to Lexington and the meeting. It will be all day tomorrow and Saturday for a half day. I am glad I will have the stamina to get through it….particularly because I made this trip to just across the border. Thank God for the rest….now I need some more. I am off to bed!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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What???????

I went to a work event with my wife last night that included a Josh Groban concert at Conseco Fieldhouse. And to show you how very connected I am with the current happenings of the day, from the moment I knew we were going to the point I heard him sing, I thought he was a country singer…….so much for being with it.

The larger issue for me was not my ineptitude but rather the level that my hearing has deteriorated. I qualified for hearing aids probably some 5 years ago, but have never gotten them. I will say however that an evening like that is probably better if you can understand the words. Sure he sings in Spanish and English and Italian….but it would not have mattered. I knew the words to “You Raise Me Up,” and understood those…..as well as a great song that I loved but could understand only one word….”machine.”
But in all honesty, I am okay with not hearing well. It doesn’t bother me as much as it does everyone else. And how do I know that???? Well Amanda THINKS she hears well, but really does not…..and it drives me NUTS. Of course if she needs them we will get her the hearing aids.
After all, I do not need to hear to mow the lawn!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Lucky to be alive……..

I went to take Amanda to work early this morning, leaving 3 teenagers and Ben alone and asleep in the house. Steph was up getting ready for work, but Scott (Ben’s roommate) and Cassie were asleep as well. I wondered what would happen if Ben got up while I was gone, but figured he would probably sleep well past when I got back. Of course I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Yep, I came home about an hour later, and as I entered the kitchen it was then that it happened. Ben came into the kitchen like the SWAT team, armed with the amazing dart gun you see in the picture, and pointed it at me as if I were an intruder. I have decided he is either some type of agent for the CIA or he is watching way too many things about the police, good guys and bad guys, and things like that. He had me though….I was unarmed.
I cannot say I am surprised though. He is all about being superheros, Transformers, and SOLDIERS (capitalized because it is actually more important than the other two)! And it pleases me far more than Barbies! I am just thankful he doesn’t carry a real one!
So I am lucky to be alive I suppose. He checked my ID and let me go with a warning. I am just glad he is there to protect us. Clearly the teenagers and that sleepy dog of mine leave something to be desired!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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I want my room back…..

All I wanted to do was to go into my room and change, and THIS was what I ran into. My wife, my daughter, and Cassie exercising in my room. Cassie is in the foreground, Steph is at 12-1 o’clock, and Amanda is just got her legs sticking out. This takes place everyday in my room apparently, and the way the encourage me to leave makes me believe it is becoming a bit “cultish.”

And JUST when I think things could not be any weirder for me, Ben just came into my office, grabbed one of my collar tabs, and put it down his pajamas. When I asked him what he was doing, he pulled it out and started using it as a sword. My family seems to need a lot of therapy…..I am just too embarrassed to send them there with these issues.
So I guess I need to just live in my little world. My office used to be my sanctuary, yet now they invade it at will. They already have my bedroom, and soon I am sure they will want me to be drinking whatever they are. I will have none of it.
I am doing fine without the insanity, and intend to win the Biggest Loser without it anyway. But for now it is off to make myself a vodka tonic. Life is stressful enough. And there is nothing like a little night cap to end the day. I will drink it as I contemplate the torturous events taking over my room.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Tales from home……..

Well I am finally home and it is a good thing too. I am not too tired, but it is good to be amongst the chaos that I not only completely understand, but that I am responsible for as well. I was able to arrive home, get a shower, and then go pick up the Bishop for dinner, since he had also driven over from Illinois. (He lives in Ohio)

Our gathering tonight was just to be social. He works hard enough, and we want him to just get refreshed when he is here. We always get him a hotel room, and then we took him to dinner. We didn’t talk business, we just goof around. It was Fr. PT and his wife Jewel, my wife, Ben, Scott and Cassie, and our Parish Intern Robert, his wife Mary Ann and their son Kaleb! It was good food and good times. AND it was nice to just have dinner with an old friend and not have to do any work.
But Jewel wanted a picture of the Bishop and clergy after the dinner, to which he replied, “I’d rather have my picture taken with the women!” He sees US all the time, but she got her way….he took his picture with us. But not to be outdone, I took the one you see here….with our wives and Cassie. It clearly is a better picture than the one with us, and I hope you enjoy it!
We however will be working soon enough. The Bishop is back at the hotel and we will be meeting with our clergy tomorrow morning at St. Patrick’s. It is probably going to be hard for him, as this is now a larger gathering of the same sorry lot he had dinner with tonight. But it will be his burden to bear…….they just work with me, but they are HIS clergy!
I will take him to lunch tomorrow before he heads back to Ohio to help ease his pain. It is just great to have him here.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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It is over…..

After having a mustache since I was about 18 (I am 25 now….I mean 50) tonight was the last straw. No one meant anything by it, because the people around me really do like me, but tonight it was just too much.

You see, after my stroke in April of 1998 one of my eyelashes got a white spot on it…..no big deal, right? No, not really. But I cannot tell you how many times people have politely told me I have “something in my eye.” LOTS OF TIMES! But in truth, I don’t.
THEN, my face started to loose hair and pigment, no, not in a Michael Jackson sort of way, but it WAS noticeable…..and ALL of it was on the one side….the side of the eyelash. Of course I mentioned this to my neurologist who said, “I think it is unrelated to the stroke.” Which led me to wonder why I go to doctors, since that is the the “coincidence of the century!”
But tonight the comments were about my mustache. The loss of pigment has invaded one side and lots of people mention it. But tonight, here in Peoria, one guy complimented me as if it was on purpose. It caught my attention. As a matter of fact, a few people mentioned it. And when I mentioned it to the Bishop, who is a long-time close friend, he said it actually looks like I have half a mustache and shave the other half. I thought he was joking.
But upon the return to my hotel room, one of my players had posted some pictures of me at the lacrosse banquet about a month ago, and do you know what? The bishop wasn’t joking. I looked absolutely stupid. And I considered my options…..but only for about 3 seconds. I went right into the bathroom and shaved it off. The hair on my head will be next, but please do not tell my wife.
And in truth, it was not as traumatic as I thought it would be. I suppose looking stupid has it’s privileges! But it will NOT come back until either all my hair loses its pigment or someone staples a new one to my face. I do look different, but thank God people will no longer thing that I am some type of “fashion weirdo” anymore!
Thank God I had a razor and clearly the Brian Urlacher jersey helped to ease the pain!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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A preemptive strike………

Although I was to leave first thing in the morning for Peoria (I have an ordination there on Saturday), I am savvy enough to know when packing too much into one day is a bad idea. The last few weeks, but particularly the last few days, have been close to overload. So I decided to head to Illinois tonight.

And, it has been a good idea. I have A LOT to do, and I am now in my hotel room and able to do it without distraction. In addition to that, as you can see, I like the room COLD. (Amanda hates such things.) But for 2 nights I will ice it up and sleep hopefully like a baby! Or at least like a polar bear.
The good news is that it will make the trip a lot less stressful, and I can get some things done tonight as well as in the morning, and do so without having to worry about the drive and the day. I can work a bit tonight, get a good night’s sleep, and still get a lot done in the morning. PLUS, after the ordination and festivities, I should have a few more hours tomorrow night to work too! The Bishop will be heading back to Indiana on Sunday and Monday, so getting ahead of the work will not be a bad thing.
But for now I think I will stand over the air conditioner and breathe it all in! Please keep Greg Lynn in your prayers tomorrow as he will be ordained a priest. It will be a big day.
Thankfully, with some good rest, I should be at my best!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+