All posts by Fr Tom Tirman

Uncategorized

Decisions, decisions……..

Leave a comment

The problem with having an overdeveloped sense of humor is that no one often gets it, and in truth after awhile, they just stop believing it altogether.

You see, today I found a site that would let me design my mom’s headstone, so I took some liberty……disrespectful? NOT AT ALL…..my mom was a great jokester.
As an example, I was a big fan of Inspector Clouseau. In fact, I used to imitate him all the time at home. So every time my mom would see me do something she would say “swine” in a French accent. No, it was not exactly top shelf comedy, but it was funny to us. Other examples were a bit more bizarre I guess, so maybe I should stop right here.
But back to the headstone. I actually designed one that had a bass (fish) flying out of the water as it was hooked on the line (next to her name) with the words “I’ll catch you later!” She would have laughed herself silly at that. Say what you will for her, pre-Alzheimer’s she was sharp and always good for a laugh.
But in all honesty, the headstone I ordered will just bear her name, date of birth, and date of death…..with no fish of any kid at all. It’s nice, but pretty bland……not quite her forte.
I will have to figure out some sort of add on…….after all, it’s her stone and I want her to be happy!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
Uncategorized

No complaints……

Leave a comment

I came to the firm conclusion this afternoon that my life would be far easier if I didn’t have to work, had no family, or a funeral to plan……but sadly I am a bit tied into all three.

Things at work have been building into a bit more intensity, while my family just keeps adding more and more for me to do! Of course had I entered a monastery as I considered out of seminary, my guess is I would be wondering why, with the brilliant mind I possess, I was the potato peeler. So I suppose I should, as they say, just bloom where I am planted……..but I still have some complaints.
It seems as if my life is always busy, and although there are varying degrees of intensity to it all, if the truth be known, it is my life and I am committed to live with it (much to the chagrin of my family I am sure.)
But who am I to complain….my life is really pretty good.
And if only I were in charge, how much better would it be!!!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
Uncategorized

Of funerally things……..

Leave a comment

Wow……my mom has a lot more to do now that she is in heaven drinking margaritas with my sisters. I THOUGHT I was really ahead of the game with all of this, but in reality the work may just be kicking up.

Apparently no one can pour concrete but a contractor to set my mom’s stone on. It is not a big deal to pour such a thing, because I have poured things larger than even that. But apparently everyone needs to get their cut. I would have gone down and poured a foundation next week when Amanda is in Europe, but we have to file stuff and be licensed before we do. (And the cemetery gets a part of it back too!)
But I do not want to complain….it only makes things worse. I have been involved with lots of funerals, I just have never been this involved in this side of it.
Pray for me! This is so much work that I just may end up keeping that grave for myself!!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
Uncategorized

Welcome home…….MATRIX

Leave a comment

WOW….today was a LONG DAY! And it was longer because I was driving my wife’s very masculine baby blue Honda Hybrid with that “LU Mom” sticker on the back window. There are not too many more things in this life to make you feel less of a man!

But that car has no “giddy-up and go” as my grandma used to say. It is nothing at all like my 2009 BLACK Toyota Matrix (a manual) that I am sure is the very same car that Batman would dive if he were not secretly a millionaire and was more “energy conscience.” Yep, it is a sad day when I actually think my car is more manly. But compared to Amanda’s car it really is.
So I am glad to be out of it. And I am in bed waiting for Amanda and Ben to return from Missouri.
Sure, I will help them carry their stuff in and make small talk. But what I am really interested in is getting back my keys!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
Uncategorized

Boo……

Leave a comment

Ours is a big scary house when you are staying here alone, and that’s exactly what I am doing since Scott called a bit earlier and said he was staying with friends. I do not normally get spooked by such things either, but it would be far easier if our home didn’t look like 95% of the places checked out by the Ghosthunters.

Of course I need not worry, after all, Viper is…………asleep. And the cat ALWAYS just walks around and stares creepily at places where nothing is clearly there because that is just what cats do. But really, I am tired of it tonight.
Tomorrow I will be speaking at three of our churches and it will be a long day. Rest is exactly what I need and although I am going to try to take it EXTREMELY easy this week beginning on Monday, the first order of doing that is making sure I make it TO Monday.
Oddly enough, though I complain about it often, I miss Ben’s little feet jammed into my side. He wakes up in the middle of most nights and sneaks in our room. He has cold feet so he needs to put them somewhere to be comfortable…..after all, it is all about him. Yet there is just something about me that is used to it. Pretty weird, I know.
But for now I will just try and coast out to sleep. I am pretty sure if there are ghosts they would find haunting Viper and I quite dull anyway.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
Uncategorized

I have no idea what I am doing……

Leave a comment

With all that is going on here, I stayed behind in Indiana while Amanda, Steph, and Ben headed to Missouri to take Steph back to college. I really wanted to go, but with my mom’s passing yesterday I needed to stay here and take care of a few things. I have been surprised at how much there is to do when someone dies. I guess I have never had to deal with all the details before.

But I am making headway. I got her pension payments stopped. I got the information for her death certificate to the right place. I contacted the cemetery in Evansville, where we will bury her next to my sister Stephanie sometime within the next few weeks or months (she has been cremated). And I am pretty sure I did quite a few other things pertaining to this that I cannot remember.
And….I have heard from A LOT of people. It is touching, really, but also a bit overwhelming. But I am just plugging along and hoping that I am not forgetting anything. So far so good. I suppose we will see how well I have done as all the calls and paperwork begin to die down.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
Uncategorized

The Strife is over……..Kay Tirman 1939-2011

Leave a comment

Tonight at 5:20 pm, my mom, Kay Tirman took her last breath and entered into her eternal reward. (The picture is of her and Ben on her birthday in 2007) It has been a long battle for her, as she has been an Alzheimer’s patient for many years. She made these last days easy for us as she got worse…..she suddenly seemed to wake out of that dazed mind and give some direction……”do not send me to the hospital, and discontinue treatment.”

Of course I could not trust what I was hearing or listen to it, after all, sick or not she is my mom and I am her son. But she probably knew that and told the Nurse Practitioner the same thing the next morning…..and then she just sort of faded away. It was a great gift to me, and one I will always remember.
When I saw her last, today at around noon, she was suffering. Her breathing was labored and she was not sedated enough. I was not too pleased and even less polite about it for sure. But the Hospice people really stepped in and up, which is why they are the best at what they do. I was already dealing with all sorts of work stuff, trying to keep my blood pressure down, and stressed to the gills. I will regret till the day I die thinking that a call I was on for work was too important to answer a call from a number I did not know. It was pretty poor judgement on my part for sure.
The call was from Carrie Fisher, not of Star Wars fame, but of Hospice…..my mom’s nurse. Carrie saw my mom crashing and did her best to get ahold of me, finally making the decision to sit with her, hold her hand, and say a prayer for her as she died. What I couldn’t do, she did, and although we had only met once before and I was a bit of a butt head to her then, I will say she will be someone I will always remember…..and I mean always. Dealing with patients and families at this point of life can be icky, and I just thank God for people who can walk there despite the messiness. She did more for me and my family than many people I have known all my life. And for her I am eternally thankful and have been blessed.
Of course the big blessing is that my mom is now free of that broken body and mind and is probably in heaven with my two sisters trash talking me right now. I am always conflicted about the blessing of spending eternity with my two sisters, but I know it was something my mom wanted very much. None of this has been the life that she envisioned…..the loss of two daughters, the steady descent into a lost mind, and struggles with diabetes and cancer. It was a mess.
But now life is different for her, and I am happy for her. Her death does not hurt, but gives me hope.
If there are margaritas in heaven, they are drinking them tonight! Rest in Peace mom. I am glad you are free from the torment you were living in.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
Uncategorized

A day from hell……..

Leave a comment

Perhaps this title is a bit misleading, in that it should probably read “a day IN hell.” It has not been a good day.

I began today not feeling quite right. The withdrawal from the meds I swore was literally killing me, and at around noon, I was pretty sure that it was not just something I was saying. But let me just get to noon.
My day started with dizziness and the need to get Ben over to Cindy’s for the day. Of course he wanted to take the truck, which has no air, is loud, and although fun to drive was not my first choice this morning. And we were about half way there when he “accidentally” shot the key for my padlock that he was playing with out the window on a country road.
I was not too pleased, but fortunately (I thought) it was on one of those rubbery wristband thingys. I figured it would not be too hard to find, but it was. The good news was tat we finally found it, and made our way to Cindy’s.
But after dropping him off and before leaving my phone rang and it was Amanda who had a migraine and needed to be picked up…..in Greenfield…..not close. I already was dizzy and needed to lay down. The quickest thing would have been to take the truck, but with no air the windows would need to be down and she would not survive it I was sure……so I headed toward the house to pick up my car.
I only wish I could have made it without running out of gas. Now I was REALLY stressed, my head was pounding, and she was calling all the time asking where I was. So Scotty came with our gas can (we will FIX that stupid gas gauge this week) and we went home and got my car. And he went with me to Greenfield behind perhaps every slow driver in Indiana so that he could drive the extra car home.
The good news was that we got her home and put to bed. The bad news is that I started to get worse.
It was about noon and I was extremely dizzy now and was very frustrated by the withdrawal of meds, but it was more than that, I had just too much pressure in my head. So I decided to take my blood pressure just to see what it was.
Okay, it was then I was worried. As a stroke survivor I am technically in a different risk category, but even if I wasn’t it was too high. 176/96 So I called my doc and said I was coming in. And I tried to pretend I was just the victim of a faulty cuff at home.
In retrospect, it was stupid to drive myself, and I do understand that….but I am a guy. The good news is that it was still high but down to 138/91 when I saw him, but it is still WAY TOO HIGH.
In all honesty, I am just tired of all this and need it to go away. The doctor said, though it is very hard, I should tough out this withdrawal because he believes it will get me to where I need to be. I intend to too…..I mean if I do not have an additional stroke prior to making it!
But the day is now done and I am in bed. I brought Ben in here with me because he is really the only thing making me laugh today and I need it. Mom is under full Hospice care now, and is on pain meds as needed around the clock. She had a fever yesterday, but not today. She is no longer eating or drinking by mouth. I shouldn’t whine about my day….her days are clearly worse.
But for now I am going to sleep. I have not had too many days in this life worse than today. I consider myself a man’s man, and I am not prone to being frightened. I got a full dose of it today though. I am hoping and praying that tomorrow will be a better day.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
Uncategorized

Hospice for mom…….

Leave a comment

Well I spent some time with the good people from Hospice this afternoon, making sure my mom was signed up and good to go with them. I have custody of my mom, and she has been in a nursing home for many years now, although she is just 71, suffering from Alzheimer’s.

But it is now clearly time to make this move. She has been pretty sick, was lucid enough to let us know she wanted to discontinue treatment, and as quickly as she sort of reappeared, her brain just drifted away again. We had a couple of days of sentences from her, and even a couple of questions. Now we are back to just one, and maybe two words if we are lucky.
It has been a long road for her, and we now take the turn for her final journey home. Keep her in your prayers (her name is Kay). I am just glad to know she will now be taken care of by people who specialize in the end of her life.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
Uncategorized

DIzzy……

Leave a comment

Well today is my second full day off the medicine, and to be honest, I do not see a big change in my weight, but then again I am having to deal with all sorts of withdrawal symptoms, so I suppose it will still be with me awhile.

I do hope that the dang dizziness stops. It is driving me nuts and I feel like a drunk 90% of the time. Of course drinking might help justify such actions, but in all honesty I am just hoping to stick this out. I have read that this is a pretty difficult road, and that many people give up. I however will not be one of them. I need to stay off it and get myself back to where I want to be.
With that, I will also say that I am dropping out or conceding the Biggest Loser competition that I have been in with my wife’s family. When I made the decision to go off these meds for the sake of my health and weight, I also made the decision to not agitate myself through the process. Of course I was hoping that just weaning off the drug would kick up my metabolism, but apparently the effects of this stuff will be with me awhile yet. And the stress of worrying about it is enough for me now. So I will get to where I can make this a win/win for myself and not fret about the rest. Lord knows I have enough to worry about already.
I went into see my mom today and she looked good, but was unresponsive. And although I tried to wake her, I figured she was just medicated. I will try again tomorrow. I understand that this is not about me, but her. She deserves to rest and not to be roused all the time to say something to reassure us that she can see us. I hope she has a great nap!
Anyway….me and my dizzy head are already here in bed at 8pm. I hope tomorrow sees me doing better.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+