Tonight at around 7:15 my grandma entered into eternal life.  She was 95 years old.  She was preceded in death by my grandpa, and sadly her daughter (my mom) just three short weeks ago.  And although I am certain my mom’s death had nothing to do with tonight, it pains me to know that my grandmother had to deal with such things in her final days.  But my grandma was at peace with what had happened to my mom, and I am thankful for that.

But tonight we said goodbye to a remarkable woman.  I can only speak of her as my grandma, but clearly after they made her they broke the mold.  I have 50 years of fond memories with her, and in all honesty, there was not one bad day for me in any of it.

As we let her go tonight I have to say that I was much more thankful than hurting.  She was truly a blessing to me in my life.  God blessed me by allowing me to be her grandson, and could and can easily see her and my grandpa’s influence upon my life.  There are so many people in this world who do not have relationships with their grandparents, and for them I feel sorry.  That was never the case for me.  I spoke to my grandma a lot…..and all my life.  She always knew what was happening in my life….as she did about all her grandchildren.  She was always the epitome, the ideal, of what a grandparent should be…..and I am certain my idealistic view of life comes directly from seeing that ideals really do exist.  I believe in them, because I have seen them……first and foremost in my grandparents

Thanks so much grandma for being who you have been to me.  I love you very much…..and quite honestly, I miss you already.

Tommy+

I have been so many places the last few days, including both Goshen General Hospital and now home.  My grandma continues to deteriorate, albeit slowly.  But as I am well-traveled, she has stayed put.

But where she is going is so much more significant the the places I am traveling to a fro.  And in the midst of it all….all the pain, all the sorrow, all the stress, I find great comfort in the fact that all of this is not about me at all, or even those around me…..it is about her and the Lord.

Sometimes we just need to reframe things to see what has been in front of us all the time.  From my first memories in Church to even now, we talk about and prepare for this point.  And our faith at this point is more important than even here, because it is here that it finds its ultimate meaning.

But I thank God I need not let my heart be troubled.  My grandma is at the end of this short life, and will enter into heaven quite soon.

Thank God for that…..and than God for the reminder that I seem to need now more frequently.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

It has been a day of very little change here in Goshen, other than we know in terms of time we are but one day closer to the end of her life.  But here in Goshen, not too much of anything goes fast.  It is something that has always endeared this place to me…..I mean, other than being the home of my grandparents.

But the community is a clash between two worlds….the modern world and the Amish world.  Cars and buggies, and buggies and cars.  Yet, even without the buggies, Goshen would be no New York.  It is typical Indiana.  The people are friendly and people say “hi” when you walk by.  In the hospital, or in restaurants, people ask you about YOU, and there is always that feeling of home.  And what I should confess is that the very fact that this happens here is very comforting to me.

But for now, I will call it a day.  At 10pm, my grandma was resting, finally, yet clearly we know where we are heading.  It is exhausting, but well worth it.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

I wish things were easier, I really do, but for now I will just need to ride this out.  My grandma is in bad shape, and her time on this side of heaven is very limited, but it is important to be with her nonetheless.  I was with her this morning, and then went to pick up the boys to be with her again until we left for home a little after noon.

But if there is a blessing in any of this it has been to be with them both.  Scott and Ben are exceptionally close, and although Scott is 6’1″ and Ben is no where near that, they still think of themselves as twins and Ben works hard to boss Scott around.  It makes me laugh, and more than that, it takes my mind off of self-focused thoughts keeps me focused on the right things.

And I know this is hard on both of them as well, Scott in particular.

Please keep all of us, and particularly my grandma in your prayers.  I am just thankful for the boys in all of this….they truly do make this hard road a lot easier.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+
                                                                             

I posted this picture tonight after finally getting back to the hotel to express the absurdity of it all.  My grandma has been unresponsive since they found her in her apartment yesterday, and then an MRI this afternoon confirmed the worst…….my grandma had a massive stroke yesterday from which she will not recover.

And on a day that was filled with the worst kind of news, I noticed the tag upon her bed that you see in the picture…..and it DID make me laugh.  My grandma is not a risk at this point for doing anything other than getting bed rest (there is a sign on her door that identifies her as a fall risk too – but I have a one silly picture per post policy) but at least it made me laugh.  I mean even a blind nurse could see that she is not going anywhere, but in truth, a blind nurse would not need a sign.

But the bottom line is that my grandma will make the transition from this life to the next very soon, and it is much ore of a surprise than it was with my mom.  My grandma JUST moved into assisted living two weeks ago, and her pictures are even yet hung on her walls.  She was loving it in her new place too.  And there is great satisfaction for us all that she was enjoying it so much.  My only wish is that my mom would have lasted a little longer so she didn’t have to deal with that stress.

So Scotty, Ben, and I are at the hotel for one more night.  I know what is coming, but I shall approach it with a faithful heart.  My grandmother was a blessing to me every single solitary day of my life.  I will celebrate that, and thank God for the blessing she was to me, and continues to be.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Although I wish this were just a cute picture, it is actually of Ben tonight at a Holiday Inn in Goshen, Indiana. We are here because my grandma was found unconscious in her apartment tonight (she lives in assisted living) and she is now in Goshen General Hospital unconscious and unresponsive.

It started with just an innocent little detour towards Panera, when Ben said he wanted macaroni and cheese. Panera was a bit crowded anyway, but more than that, I didn’t think they had macaroni and cheese…..so off we went to Logan’s Roadhouse.

It has been a long time since Ben and I had each other ALL DAY, but today was such a day. Amanda is in Europe, Scotty is in Michigan, and Steph is at college……so he had to go with me to two services today and he sat with other people.