All posts by Fr Tom Tirman

Let’s call this progress………

Well, for as much as it can be, we will call this progress.  My headache is still killing me, however, it IS getting better and not getting worse, and although I am certainly the wrong kind of doctor to make any type of diagnosis on this, I will say I believe it to be a good sign.

Of course such things do not make for riveting reading, but then again I believe that if you are a regular reader you 1) may have been sentenced by the courts to read this, 2) have some sort of sadistic streak, or 3) really understand the reasons that I write, as they have very little to do with amassing a following.  I will confess that I am amazed at how many people do read this, but without posting about the kids and my wife I suppose it would have all the relevance of Robinson Cursoe writing to himself on that remote island, particularly as he was a fictional character.  And although I am not fictional, (as my wife is disappointed by this fact every morning) I can say I find what I write about as alluring as waiting at the DMV.  (I would have said watching paint dry, but I am from Indiana, and that is something I enjoy)

All this is to say that I am back in the land of the living, and as I always find, it is ALWAYS still here waiting for me.  As a point in fact, in the middle of all this, Ben decided that he needed a chicken.  No, not on a plate, but a real, live, clucking, filthy chicken.  And, since chickens get lonely, we need more than one, and we needed to raise them from chicks.

So not wanting to be a disappointment as a father in the midst of my last chance, (since it bothers me that my wife wakes up crying every morning, and my other two kids just laugh when I say “move home”) I decided to give it a try and bought Ben 10 baby chickens.  Now Steph HATES chickens (for REAL, they are a major phobia of hers) and but Scott loves these kind.  My question is, do we have to their box from time to time to classify them as “free range?” (Yes, that is food and water in there with them……he is not right)

But this also is progress.  It got Ben to stop asking for chickens, and brought us all some peace.  And when you have a bad headache, peace is a valuable commodity.

Have a great day my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

No guarantees…….

I would like to say I am just forgetting, but I am not.  In fact, I am fighting one of the worst sinus infections I have had in years…….and all while I have been traveling.  My first dose (intended to fix it all) of antibiotics ended while I was with Steph and I was a LOT better, but somehow not feeling all that right. (My wife will tell you she feels that I am never quite right, but if we thought she had good judgement we probably wouldn’t be calling her MY wife) And on Saturday in the airport my head started hurting and I started to feel a bit warm.  My face and ears went a bit red again and yes, here on Tuesday I am still miserable.  I am trying to rest and taking meds and pushing fluids, all while thank God that I am not an old horse as I am sure someone would be walking me out to pasture with a shotgun.  But until I am at least able to get my senses back I cannot guarantee I can post or do much of anything.  I am now committed to resting between my bride’s reminders of how she felt I should have gone to the doc about six weeks ago when this started.  I however, being a guy and much smarter than her, was sure that it would just “run its course.”  But I do confess that for the very first time ever, she was right and I was wrong.  I am sure I will listen to her next time.

Probably about after 35 years of age your body just hurts occasionally in places and you kind of just accept it and get used to it.  Headaches, joint pain, achy muscles, iffy vision, and other things have just been part of my life as long as I can remember.  No big deal in my mind.  But I apparently can no longer get away with the philosophy of the black knight in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.”  This is clearly more than a flesh wound.

But I will do my best, as I believe I am my best when I am in my rhythm and this blog is a vital part of that.  Keep me however in your prayers as I have an unusually high tolerance for pain, yet this is kicking my butt.  In the end however, I will prevail.  After all our grass is started to grow, and Amanda has made it clear that she is not driving the tractor.

Enjoy this gratuitous picture of Ben meeting his grandpa’s dog “Olie.”

Have a great day my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Finishing up the trip of a lifetime (so far)………..

Stephanie post-game…..clearly miserable!

I had every intention of posting last night when I got back to my hotel, but in truth, by the time that I got there, which was AFTER midnight, I just didn’t have the energy.  I was able to set my alarm clock and put my head on a pillow, but not much more after that.  I had come from Steph’s hotel where the team is staying so I could say goodbye.  I was certain they would be up awhile.

But why?  Well because Steph and her teammates knocked off the #5 team in the country at the #5 team’s field too!  It was a spectacular win, and I was so very blessed to be down there (in Florida) to see it.   Of course the #5 team will probably no be #5 on Monday morning when the poll comes out, but the Lions (Steph’s team) came into the game at #10.  They also beat the #11 team (Rollins), but they too will drop.  I can hardly wait to see the poll.

But I was to say I am very very proud of Steph, because a little known fact about her is that it keeps alive the possibility of her not graduating in May………she and I both would LOVE it that way too.  Oh, she’ll get her degree, but she may not be there.  You see if the Lions happen to go to the National Championship Tournament the Final conflicts with her graduation date, and she and the other seniors just want to get to that field in Virginia.  I am hoping that they do.

But in May Steph will be awarded a Bachelor’s of Science in Chemistry, and all while playing four full years for one of the top teams in the country.  They travel extensively and to be honest, I probably couldn’t make the time to watch the news if I was majoring in Chemistry, let alone keep her schedule.  She has papers, projects, and labs.  She doesn’t make up, she stays ahead. And they seem to practice all the time.  She is one impressive young woman.

Post-game Lions!

I am proud of her for all her accomplishments for sure, but more than anything, I am proud to be her father.  You know, if she didn’t do any of this, or even not gone away for school, who she is as a person is absolutely amazing.  And she calls me dad.  How cool is that?

They play again tomorrow and then back to Missouri where they have a little time to heal some injuries and prepare for their next game on Palm Sunday.  But at least today (Saturday) they can have a little rest and enjoy weather that would only disturb a penguin.  They deserve it, as they have earned it.  And as I told her before I left, I thought I couldn’t ever imagine anything better, but then there were those thoughts about her not graduating…………….

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

A Mildly True Throwback……..

Hudson Beach

Being in Florida brings back a lot of memories.  I only lived here for about 18 months, but it is the only other country I have ever lived in other than Virginia.  As I remembered it, it was full of old people, although I do need to confess that they do not look nearly as old now.  But after seeing Steph this morning I got in my rental car and headed for good old Spring Hill.

Spring Hill is really the same as Weeki Wachi, you know where the mermaids all lived.  I used to have one in the parish I worked in, St. Andrew’s (Episcopal) but I cannot remember her name.  She didn’t wear a tail at church, nor did she try to make me believe it was real.  She was just another talented actress at a Florida tourist attraction.  It was nothing like Indiana.

But Spring Hill has changed, as well as the church.  I stopped by and was given a tour of everything by Father Lance Wallace, St. Andrew’s Rector, who I found to be a spectacular guy.  He was very gracious and helpful to me, and it was a very enjoyable time.  And after my tour, I went a spent a little time in the graveyard where amongst some of the people I helped bury were now many more saints that I knew.  It was a sobering experience.

St. Andrew’s where I was priested……

I then started to wind my way down to Tampa where I am now.  But in passing through New Port Richey I stopped at Hudson Beach.  My grandma, my dad’s mom, had moved to New Port Richey from New York when I was a kid, and she used to take me to Hudson Beach.  I remember stepping on a crab there and bolting out of the water, and I SAW THE SPOT.  But the other thing that makes it a special place was that her ashes were spread in the Gulf there (not on the beach but out off the shore….by a funeral home), so visiting Hudson Beach was something I often did when I lived there.  It was the closest thing to a cemetery I have.

Anyway it was an interesting experience.  I realized that many of the retired who live there now were my age now when I lived there.  Life goes quickly, but it was nice to remember some old important things in a more modern context.

Off to bed!  Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

A Wednesday Update on Thursday………

Yes, I did not post last night, but that was because I surprised Steph IN FLORIDA for their game against #11 Rollins (Lindenwood WON) and I didn’t go to bed till quite late.  I flew into Orlando and made it to the game less than a minute before it started, but wow I was pretty tired by the time the game ended and I checked into the hotel.  They are down here for 3 games (they play #5 Florida Southern on Friday and St. Leo on Sunday) but I have to head back Saturday early.  She was totally surprised and I was telling Amanda, I couldn’t be happier that I came.  Sure, I was her high school coach and they could make it to the National Championship, but it really has very little to do with that.  Stephanie is my daughter, and I couldn’t be prouder of her.  If she didn’t play lacrosse or anything else, it wouldn’t matter.  I just was honored to be with her here.

And what is even more spectacular is that my wife was the one who encouraged me to go…….although since we gave up the paying side of my job she has told me that I cannot eat anything while I am here. But she and Ben would be here too if it weren’t for school (still a law in Indiana), and I know she hears the joy in my voice that I get from being here watching and seeing her.

I am now in Tampa for two nights and am just to my hotel.  I will get to see her tonight and maybe a little tomorrow before the game.  She cannot leave the hotel, but I can go there.  There are quite a few parents here too.

But what a cool opportunity (thanks Amanda) and it is awesome.  And now I will take a short nap of awesomeness so I can stay awake to whatever time I can get with her tonight!

God Bless!

Tommy+ 

WOW PLEASE READ…..we are DONE with Frontier Airlines……….

I do not normally use this blog to make any kind of social or business commentary, but today I believe I shall.  As many of you know, our son Scotty, a US Marine, was home from last Wednesday until flying back to his duty station this morning.  I believe he has arrived, but that is no thanks to Frontier Airlines.

First of all, let me say Scotty’s flight was at 6:30 am.  He was not checking a bag, and just needed a boarding pass.  I thought I would walk in with him, as I had been up since 3:30 and we left the house at a little after 4.  It is 60 miles.  As we were pulling in, we didn’t rush, as we felt we had plenty of time. As we arrived at the counter, there was an agent there (a guy) and he was helping another customer.  I figured we waited about 3 or 4 minutes.  But after he left, the agent told Scotty that he would need to rebook because he missed there “45 minute” window.  I looked at my iPhone at that point and it was now 9 minutes past 5:45 (and remember we had waited 3-4 minutes).  Scotty tried to explain, and asked him to just give him his boarding pass, but the guy would have none of it.  He left us there and headed for the gate himself.

We started to check the other airlines and they were all pretty nice.  But the people at SOUTHWEST were spectacular.  He was on the phone with them (they are all that I ever fly) and all he could do (afford) was a flight into Los Angeles, quite a bit from base for a little over 200.  He booked it.

But when we walked over to the Southwest counter, and told them what happened, they said this actually happens A LOT with Frontier.  And after seeing his Marine ID asked, “where do you need to go hun?”  And in a blink of an eye he was booked to San Diego for NO ADDITIONAL COST. The Frontier flight would be $100 just to rebook.

After getting this handled, I bought Scotty some McDonald’s and sat with him a bit.  Yes, he could have handled it all by printing out his pass at home before going to the airport and not even having to stop, but that is my fault.  Scotty had never booked his own flight before and did it through Travelocity. I have ALWAYS booked the kids and bought the “Early-Bird Check-in” so they wouldn’t have to worry about it.

But after making sure Scotty was okay, I told him not to go back to the counter as I was going there to talk to the guy.  He wasn’t there, but a woman was who insisted how nice he was.  She also said that she left the counter herself at the 45 minute mark and we were not there, which is true as we probably got there a minute or two after her, but the implication that I was a liar was a bit much for me to endure. I told her that the guy was cold and showed no compassion or concern, and that he did not explain a thing to us and left us there.  She looked up Scotty’s ticket and saw it was a “third party vendor” and said had we booked it with them then it would be just $50 to change.   And to me, that may be a part of the problem.  If you do not want people to save their hard-earned money, oh I don’t know like perhaps someone who fights for your freedom, then perhaps you should not allow your fares to post on their sites.  Southwest doesn’t, but they treated him like a person.  Frontier could have cared less….even on the phone.

But I am writing this because I gave the woman my personal cell number and just asked her to give it to him, if he is the manager, or to the manager to ask him to call and talk about this.  It is now 15 hours later and no call.  They really don’t care.

So I also called my dad, who used to have a condo in Colorado, and has flown Frontier a lot…….but not anymore.  Tomorrow I will call their corporate and speak with them.  It had nothing to do with him being a Marine, it had to do with rudeness, lack of compassion, and just dismissing us as if we were peons.  I told the woman that the agent was very rude, and I told her to her face that I felt she was being rude and disrespectful to me as well.

Maybe he couldn’t have changed it, I don’t know, but he never explained as we were not important enough for his time.  Of course they flew and got paid for an empty seat, but with customer service and compassion like this I am guessing they lose people all the time.  And quite honestly, if this guy could have printed a pass for an active duty Marine heading back to base and just didn’t, he should be fired.

Of course those things are not my choice.  They are in the hands of far more important people than I……..like the people that work at Frontier.

Never again.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Updates on an important weekend……..

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned…..it has been a few days since my last blog entry.  I will not make excuses, as to live it this way was clearly my choice.  But hopefully in reading this you will understand.

Friday was both a very busy day and a good one.  It was ALL with family, although in two different settings.  I began the day with the funeral of my Uncle Phil for which I officiated.  Fathers PT and Kim assisted in the service and it was very nice.  Sure, it was difficult in a lot of ways, but I was really honored to be a part.  Phil was a great guy.  I then was able to spend some time at my Aunt’s house with our family.  It always amazes me how the thought comes to mind about how great it is that we are all together, yet that rarely happens anymore except in times like these.  But my mind is often taken back to all these now adults, including me, who used to sit at the “kids’ table” at our grandparents and eat together.  I thought that it would look a lot different now as most of those at the adults table have passed on.  But I valued my time there with those who are still here.  Family is family, and hanging with them at any age is a great privilege.

After saying my goodbyes, I hopped in my truck and drove to Missouri where Stephanie’s team played at 7pm.  (8 our time)  I was able to make it, and the big thing was that Scotty was able to see her play and spend some time with her.  Sadly, it was not a lot of time, as Steph and the team hopped on a bus shortly after the game for three games in Florida this week.  Yes, it was short, but sweet, for a small bit of time we had all three kids together.

And of course that points out my moronic behavior.  You would think that a dad who KNOWS what a rarity it is to have all three of them together, might, I don’t know, take a PICTURE OF THEM ALL. But no, I missed out tremendously.

There are two things I want to point out about these pictures, and really both things deal with one of them.  The first point is that the beautiful young lady standing behind Scotty is our future daughter-in-law Kenzie.  And the second is why she is in the picture.   You see, Scotty ALWAYS asks people if they want him to take a picture for them, and he generally does.  But as he does he also switches the camera, taking tons of “selfies” too.  Yes, this was my camera…..no big deal.  But he does this to everybody, including perfect strangers.  Had she not been in this one, I could have thrown it out as I NEVER LEARN and always hand him my phone.

But we are home and Steph is in sunny Florida.  Scott took Kenzie back to IU and he returns to California tomorrow.  Ben still has to go to first grade too.  But it all seems to end as quickly as it starts.

Anyway, I am posting this in the morning FOR TODAY, as I am swamped with stuff I need to get done and I would like to be free tonight to chat with Scotty before he leaves.

But today I am thankful for my family, all of them.  It has been a hard week, but seeing everyone helps us through.  We are all truly blessed.

Have a great day and God Bless!

Tommy+

Lacrosse and a new era……….

With Head Coach Jack Russell

Today has been one heck of a day.  I had been waiting for it for quite some time, but I really did have many mixed emotions about its arrival.

Tonight I attended the varsity women’s lacrosse game of Noblesville High School (where I was the Head Coach before retiring to be able to watch my daughter play in college) and Westfield High School who throughout my career I enjoyed beating on many occasions.  But tonight was different as the new Head Coach of Westfield High School was my former Assistant Coach and Head JV Coach Jack Russell.  He was and is one of the finest coaches and human beings I have ever known, and it meant the world to me to go out and shake his hand on HIS field.

With Maddie Russell

Oddly enough, the young woman in the helmet is Jack’s sister Maddie, who is the starting goalie for Noblesville.  She is a senior and she, along with the other two ladies, Christa Karns who is in uniform and Lauren Beck who is not suited up as she is injured, were just coming into the program in my last year.  Maddie has continued to develop into a remarkable goalie and will be playing college next year. Christa, who played goalie back in the dark ages (yes when I was coaching) now plays defense and takes some of the draws (face offs) too.  I loved her in goal, but she was outstanding as a field player.  It was really great.  And Beck (Lauren), well she is just Beck, and I was sorry she was injured and I could not see her play.  She and Christa came out in MIDDLE SCHOOL and used to practice with our Varsity.  But she was a talent then, and a real go getter.  I will make sure I see her play as soon as she heals from that knee injury.

The new Noblesville Coach is Veronica Mitchell who used to coach at Cathedral High School, and in my recollection I never once beat her.  She is a very talented coach, and unbelievably nice.  She knows the game and is great a developing players, and that was evident watching Noblesville play.  They are very blessed to have her, and they are a solid team.

With Christa Karns

In the end, although the game was tight, the Shamrocks won by one in the final minutes.  And although the team I had coached for many years lost, and it saddened me, I was absolutely elated for Jack.  You know, I have been around for a lot of years, and coaches like him just don’t come around that often. He introduced me to his team before the game, and I let them know they had one of the best coaches in the state.  I believe it, and so should they.

With Lauren Beck

You see, leaders lead, and good coaches bring out the best, and sometimes even more, in their players. Neither Jack or I ever played women’s lacrosse (for obvious reasons) but playing experience doesn’t always translate into coaching, especially good coaching.  Because beyond fundamentals lie the concept of heart.  Team, heart, and conviction win more games than theory.  He’s got what it takes, and oddly enough he helped develop all the girls in these pictures as well.

Someday perhaps we will coach again together.  I would love that as it would be a great honor.  Or perhaps we will meet someday head to head, as Steph is graduating in May and I intend to come out of retirement somewhere for a high school or college.  But tonight I will just enjoy being a part of what I saw tonight…..great game, great players, and great coaches.  I couldn’t ask for more!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

A post of sorrow and joy, with a non-related picture too……..

I wish I could say that today was a good day, but that would be a stretch.  I was able to end it with Ben’s music program at Lapel Elementary School, but that was the highlight of the day.  Sadly, in the middle part my Uncle Phil passed away, and I was up with my Aunt and Cousins (capitalized intentionally…..they are my family)and gave him Last Rites.

No, tonight’s post is not about me, as I am okay in all of this.  After 25 years in this vocation, I am not shaken by death, as it is something I have seen a lot of.  Plus, I am quite confident of WHO God’s people are and WHERE they are going.  To priests, people enter Eternal Life, and with that there is joy and freedom from suffering (Uncle Phil had cancer).  But in reality, death is a departure from this life as well, and regardless of how you prepare, it can cause deep pain.  My prayers and concerns this night are for my Aunt and Cousins their families.  It is hard to see them in such pain, even when they know he no longer suffers.  And my heart bleeds for them as I loved him too.  I think they married when I was 10.
It always bewilders me at how hard death is, even when we expect it or prepare for it.  Yet here it signifies something really good……..a family who loved and loves him.
We do not yet know his arrangements, and I pray that they will have the strength and assurance to walk through these next few days.  And may his soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+

Showtime, and other disturbing things……..

Unlike most people, I do not get a kick out of “remakes” of much of anything.  And that is probably a pretty good indicator that I am going to complain about my day yesterday with Ben and Amanda watching “Peabody and Sherman” at the theatre.

First of all, I am not a big fan of movie theaters anyhow.  Oh sure, they are far nicer than they were when I was young, but I have a lot of movies I have not watched, and quite frankly I am much more comfortable at home.  I love theatre popcorn, yet I am not supposed to have it, and I am also quite “old school,” meaning if the seat reclines, has cup holders, and doesn’t have a bunch of gum wadded up on the bottom of the seat, it probably isn’t authentic anyhow.  Yep, I am that bad.

But we DO got to movies, or to clarify, MY FAMILY often goes, and sometimes I go along.  To me however, everything is kind of the same.  Sure, some of the movies are good, but where are the original ideas and why are they so predictable?  PLUS, anything on a screen seems pretty hypocritically portrayed in our modern world.  I mean if stereotypes for people, races, and things are offensive in real life then why are they okay on the screen?

“Peabody and Sherman” was no exception, and like an
ything of that sort, it full of puns and pretty predictable humor.  My wife thought it was hilarious, but if she had good judgement she’d be at the movies with a much better husband than me!   And Ben is 6, so the word “butt” or anything of such nature, cracks him, like all 6 year olds, up.  Viper of course went along and had the better deal sleeping in the truck.  I endured it and had some popcorn because I was suffering.

But in the end I realized that “Peabody and Sherman” were really not all that funny in my time either. They were fillers to Bullwinkle the Moose and Rocky the Flying Squirrel.  We endured them as kids because they were for the adults watching with us, as no 6 year old gives a dang about Leonardo da vinci or history.  And why they didn’t take those millions and bring back Bullwinkle instead is beyond me.  Being Canadian, perhaps he had problems with his visa.

But I survived the day, and I suppose I should declare that some sort of victory.  Ben enjoyed it as he always does, and that is what matters most.  And the fact that Amanda did too, makes me think I need to check our insurance…….she clearly needs some therapy.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+