What I am going to share I really do see as a GOOD THING, but I attempted to make my wife feel guilty on the 20th.  You see, I thought that she MISSED the anniversary of my stroke, and since she and the kids have ALWAYS made a big thing about it, I can say that I was a bit hurt and even offended by the LACK of acknowledgement.  Having a stroke is a BIG THING, and it kind of hurt that they forgot.

So I tried to bring it up to my wife in a STEALTH manner.  I shared with her how April 18th came and went and that she and the kids didn’t even acknowledge it at all.  And of course I brought this up on APRIL 20th, as I had apparently forgotten myself!

But my wife in her usual DIRECT WAY, apologized and then shared that she thought about it on THE VERY DAY…….APRIL 14th.  She was in Kansas and felt terrible, but since I didn’t say anything, she thought I might of forgotten……which I apparently DID…since my stroke was on April 14th!!!

Oh yes, I was called out, and rightly so……I was trying to get some mileage out of something I had already blown…..I just wish I knew I had already blown it.  The bad part was that I got caught….the good part was that I really did forget, which I consider not a good thing, but a GREAT THING.

Yes, on April 18th, 2008 I had a stroke, and though it affected me, it does not define me.  Am I the man that I was, heck no, but in all honesty I believe I am a better man.  I am just thankful for my family who has stood by me, and EVEN for my wife who is OCCASIONALLY smarter than I am and can call me out.

But regardless of whether or not I remember the date, I thank God that He made me taller, smarter, ad better looking.  After all, if you have had a stroke, what is the point of remaining connected to the bad parts of reality.

My wife is one lucky woman!  Scary, isn’t it..???  THAT PICTURE IS OF ME!!!!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Well today has not gone as planned.  Apparently I told my son (Scotty) he could keep using my car and I suddenly discovered that I was going to be unable to pick up Ben at 3, as he had not left me keys to his car.  In addition to that, my knee was not cooperating to the extent that I finally gave in and called the surgeon….I have an appointment next Tuesday (although I still hope to cancel it).  AND, all the stuff I was hoping to catch up on I still have to do.  Time today was not my friend.  And I hope to see some better progress tomorrow.

I am amazed at how the things I envision are often nowhere near what really goes down.  Oh sure, it is great when those things exceed my expectations, but many times they do not.   Victories occur when they at least meet them…..so as you may be able to tell, I am not all that thrilled about today.

But the beauty of life is that there is almost always a second chance, and that will be the case for me tomorrow.  Amanda asked me about my tomorrow a little bit ago, and I couldn’t give her a direct answer.

I guess that means I am envisioning a day of confusion beginning first thing tomorrow morning.  Finally a day where I can live up to and meet my expectations!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Well it seems like it has been for forever, but we are finally back at home in good old Edgewood, Indiana tonight.  Saying good bye to Steph was mighty hard, but as we left she told Ben (although he is famous for meltdowns, she is too) that she would see him in 20 days!  That’s right, in 20 days school will be over for the year and she will return a JUNIOR!

And with as busy as I will be, I suppose I will manage to wait (like I have a choice).  But it does give me something to look forward to.  I will say that I am looking forward to these next few months, although I also can confess that I intend a bit of news with everyone later this week that will also be a big change for my plans over the next few months.  Yep, nothing EVER goes as planned.

But for now I just be thankful for my own house, my family (sans Steph) and my own bed.  I will be at home ALL DAY tomorrow catching up from being away, but it was all worth it.  I am just happy to be able to live the life I am living……it is a total blessing.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Oh sure I wish this were a better picture of me (I am on the left)…..it is not a thorn and two roses, but two roses and some sort of bull moose.  BUT the real blessing was that this bull moose was able to hang with his daughter.

Tonight they had an end of year banquet for lacrosse, and we were able to go.  It was different for me, in that the last lacrosse banquet I attended that Steph didn’t receive some sort of an award was her freshman year in high school.  It says a lot about the level she is now playing.  These girls are phenomenal players, and as a coach (now former coach), it is a real delight to be among them.   I only wish I could get to more of their games.

What I can say is that I am glad to be able to be here.  Lacrosse is a BIG part of my daughter’s life, but when I am here it is easy to see all the buildings where she attends class and remember that chemistry is a big part of that life too.  She will graduate from here in a little over 2 years and enter life after traveling the country playing lacrosse, developing close friendships with some pretty fine young women (and I mean that in terms of their character), and in addition to this learn a little chemistry as well.  It’s pretty cool to see what she has accomplished, and I look forward to what’s ahead.

Of course tomorrow I will be all depressed because we will head back to Indiana where I hope and pray Scott still is with the cat and the dog and the house.  AND, I pray they are all healthy and that the house is still standing.  Steph will return home about a month behind us, but that doesn’t mean we will not miss her.

Growing up is pretty hard……..but at 50 I am working on it.  

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Yep, Amanda, Ben, and I are in Missouri for Steph’s final home game of the season which they won tonight 17-10.  Steph played a great game, and it is so wonderful to get to watch her play.  It was one of the primary reasons I retired from coaching high school last year.  I was just not available to see her play her last few years of lacrosse.

Scott of course has that whole “job thing” going on, so he and the dog and the cat (the last two are not working) are at home doing the weekend there.  I really wish he (Scott) could have come along, but at 18, he is pretty busy.  I am sure however it would have made him miss lacrosse…..a sport we have all been involved in, and love.

But for now I will just enjoy that for which we am here.  It will be my last trip out here this school year, and I hope to get to see all those great seniors that will be graduating next month.  Steph has some really great friends and it is just such a great time to be able to see her and them, and spend this kind of quality time with them!

I intend to enjoy every bit of it too!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Yep, that’s Ben in my bed.  He has been having a “melt down” (his words, not mine) since his mom has been away at a conference.  Of course this conference has been at a hotel in Indianapolis, allowing Ben to see her a few nights for dinner, which has made it seemingly harder for him.  He is clearly a “mommy’s boy” (my words not his) and tomorrow he thankfully will be happy again….and so will she.

As for me, I will be happy too.  These past few weeks have been exhausting, and it will be a blessing to get things back to normal.  So Friday will be a reunion of sorts for them both and I may be happier than anyone.  The melt downs will be gone and the future will look bright, or at least that’s the plan.

So tonight we have headed down to Indianapolis to spend the night at the hotel with her.  Since we have her car, being here is probably a good idea as well.   Plus being here has earned me some “dad” and “husband” points, even though neither of them even seem to know I am here.

Yep, paradise!  I am happy, and I am feeling like a genius today!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Oh sure, I did TRY to post my blog on the 18th, but sadly my Internet was down.  Of course, I could have waited it out, but as I have found, most of the time my waiting on things like this is never successful.  So I set it aside, and I am posting this for the 18th instead.

The picture is of my rehab bike, but obviously that is not ME on it.  Ben seems very taken with it, and it is really quite comical to watch.  Ben can either use the handlebars or the pedals, but not both at the same time.  So to get his best workout, we switches between the two.  What he doesn’t do is to like me to be on it…..it seems to be his.

Really though, it is typical of a 4 year old in terms of their understanding of the concept of “sharing.”  At 4, what is yours is theirs, and what is theirs is theirs as well.

Oh well, at least I have this post up….and to me, that is progress for sure!

God Bless!

Tommy+

Yep, I finally found a stationary bike!  It took me a few days, but I was successful!  The sad part is that although I was able to get it together, I was unable to get onto it, because Batman had to work out.  Batman cannot reach the pedals mind you, but since the handlebars move back and forth, he felt it was a good workout!

The good news is that beginning tomorrow, I can begin to rehab my knee.  It seems a lot better already to me, but a big part of that is just delusion.  I do believe something is wrong, but regardless, I also know I can strengthen it and get a bit more out of it before giving into the doc!

And the bike I got is certainly not the Cadillac of bikes…..it is more like the Ford Pinto of them.  I however do not need anything with 70,000 programs.  I just need one that keeps me mobile.  AND, this will certainly do.

But when I say that, I mean certainly do as long as I can ride it.  Life with a 4 year old is invaded in every bit of it.  But he has school tomorrow and I do not!  So after a few meetings, perhaps I can do a little rehab and get things moving along!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

My wife is staying at a hotel for work that I actually remember pretty well.  I was there many years ago for a lunch meeting on pensions and I remember asking the waitress what the salad dressing was, which she said was ranch…..it wasn’t.  It was Caesar, and Caesar is made with anchovies, and anchovies are seafood, and I am allergic.  And I remember the wife of a good friend of mine jokingly say as my throat was tightening up, “how ironic to die at a pension fund lunch.”

Fortunately for me I had just a small bite, mostly because I could tell immediately when it touched my tongue.  I was miserable and scared, so I did the responsible thing……I DROVE MYSELF all the way up to my doctor’s office in Noblesville where I got steriods, a lecture, and a RX for epi-pens which I now carry.  It was a long drive and a scary day, and one that if the circumstances were the same, would probably do again because I just am all about denial, but honestly that was stupid of me to do.  But I always will remember her line, because all in all, it was pretty funny. (and it was never intended to be serious either.)

But tonight Ben and I stopped by to see my dad, and as we were leaving I was admiring his new car.  It is a little foriegn thingy that I do not know how to spell, but it does begin with an “H.”  And he was complaining that although he loves it, it didn’t come with a spare tire.  He has ordered one, but it still has not arrived.

I however, in my great wisdom, shared that it probably didn’t matter as I tires are different these days and I probably hadn’t changed one in about 20 years.  We soon parted ways and he went back into his house and I backed out his driveway.

The bad part is that it was dark, and I was driving Amanda’s car (since she doesn’t need it) and my glasses were in MY car.  So when I hit the driveway’s side curb that didn’t surprise me much. (everyone does it there)  But what DID surprise me there was the FLAT TIRE I had by the end of the drive.  The irony was incredible.

And of course changing that stupid thing in the dark with my dad playing with Ben and all of us laughing made it quite tolerable.  The tire is destroyed with a big cut on the side.  My knee is no very bad as this whole thing was probably one of the worse things to do with it.  The spare was one of those goofy ones that meant we had to go home on the slow roads.  And now my already packed day tomorrow will include finding and buying a new tire.  Happy happy joy joy!

But I am certain that will all be resolved tomorrow and I will not need to be worried about any of the other tires……after all, tires are different these days, and I haven’t had to change one for about an hour and a half!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

I must not be living right.  I spent the majority of this past week finishing the things I NEEDED to finish in the basement so we could reclaim the bottom third of our home. So the past two weeks have been insane with Holy Week, Easter, travel, construction, and all the other stuff I needed to do.  Never mind that Amanda was out of town on Friday and Saturday.  All was well as I began to look into this next week.

Of sure, she will be at a pretty important conference for her work this week, but it is in Indianapolis, so that makes it almost just like she is at her regular job…..or at least that is what I THOUGHT.  You see, this morning she asked me what time we would be back from Nashville were I was serving today, and I told her.  Not a big deal, nor a surprise, as we often have stuff to do when we all arrive home.  But when I asked why, because I wanted to know what kind of projects might be in my future, she mentioned the “conference,” and I immediately got worried.

And soon my fears were confirmed, my best laid plans had gone awry…..yes indeed, the conference is in Indianapolis, but as it is a special conference of certain company wide leaders, they schedule it all day, and yes, that means into the evening as well.  This means that even the locals are required to stay at the conference as well.

Yes, my vision of what this week would look like needs to be taken back to the drawing board.  No worries though, I am an expert at screwing up my life without supervision anyway…..

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+