All posts by Fr Tom Tirman

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Of carrying my assistant, and other ramblings…..

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I spent much of the day in meetings today, and as it turned out, so did Ben. He is very used to hanging out with me, yet the stroke, the heat, and the fact that he is getting a lot heavier and can’t walk on his own all are contributing factors to the upcoming heart attack I appear to be heading for! Hopefully in a few more weeks I will be in better shape and my energy will be back. (or he will be able to run at a brisk pace….I will not hold out for that miracle) But in truth, I do not handle the tired-thing too well.

One of my wife’s coworkers bought me a book to read that ironically I almost bought for myself last week. It is called “My Stroke of Insight” (my apologies to my librarian mother-in-law but you cannot underline in this blogging program) by Jill Bolte Tayor who is a brain scientist who had a stroke herself and wrote about it. Finally someone as fascinated as me with all that is going on inside my brain! I will begin reading it tomorrow in between writing a sermon for the weekend. I will let you know if I glean anything spectacular from reading it. But just from what I read as I looked at it, I was very drawn in.

I am excited about it, because I still need some help and to put my feet firmly on the ground. I will admit that I still struggle a lot. I know that I am blessed in that I have no real physical impairments from all of this, but I really am trying to get a grip on my mind. People talk to me and they see me. I look fine, I act fine, but I do act. On Sunday, though it went well, I was scared to death. And tonight when Amanda came home I just could not get a normal conversation out of my mouth. I had to just head to the other room and keep my mouth shut. I was not capable of anything helpful! I know what I want and what I should be doing, it just sometimes doesn’t come….I am told however to add the word “yet.” I need to be more patient, and though it is hard, I need the world to be more patient with me. I will get there….when however, is the question of every hour.

Keep praying for me and my family. We are still working hard, and I know it will all turn out fine in the end.

God bless…

Tom+

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Of birthdays, family, and of course cake……..

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Today is my dad’s birthday, and as always, I made it a point to call him. My dad is 25 years older than me, and though that makes him just 72 this year, (Lord I wish it were just 50) I always pretend it is about 172. He never fails to get me back though, after all my birthday is June 19th. Even at his advanced age he can remember that long! He and I jab back and forth at each other every year, but it is always in good fun. I am just thankful we can.

June is always a big month in our family. After we get Amanda’s birthday out of the way on May 28th (it is our warm up), we celebrate my dad’s, Scotty’s (June 16th), Father’s Day (I am not sure when), my birthday, and then now Ben’s birthday (June 30th)! And we all put on about 15 pounds in 30 days……and most of it comes from cake! I am not a big fan of sweets (unless it is cake) and I can think of no better way to spend the month than laughing, joking, and choking down my favorite poison….cake, with the real buttercream icing!

I suppose if I finally have to come off of medical leave and show everyone how far I have progressed, it may not be the best plan to do so in a semi-diabetic comatose state. But please understand, old habits and family traditions are the hardest to break…..plus, all the graduation parties make it almost impossible. In truth I will take what I can, after all, I am just happy to be back.

And back I am! I am now again working full-time and excited to be doing so. It is not always easy, not always pretty, and sometimes quite a challenge, but I see each day as a gift and as an opportunity. In time, I should be fine, but I do not want to take any of it for granted. God has blessed me, and the future is looking bright. And I thank Him daily for it….and of course for the month of June and all that cake!

I am preaching and celebrating at all three missions this weekend! I hope you and come on out and worship with us!

God Bless and I hope to see you soon!

Fr. Tom+

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Of hay, shots, and headaches……..

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As I sit here typing, I am reminded of the story about a traveling evangelist who went about place to place preaching and teaching. He went to one particular place to preach, a ranch, and instead of finding a whole bunch of cowboys, he instead found just one way out by a campfire on the plain. Even though the evangelist was disappointed there was only one cowboy there to preach to, he decided to share his entire sermon which it went over 45 minutes. After he was done, the cowboy looked completely overwhelmed. When he asked him why the cowboy said, “No offense sir, but sometimes I come out here with some hay to feed the cattle, but if I find only one cow I don’t make it eat an entire bale.”

I didn’t post at all this weekend because I indeed fed myself an entire bale, although that may huge UNDER-estimation on my part. This weekend our Bishop came to ordain a deacon (way to go Tony!) (the service was on Sunday) and he and a priest stayed at our house. It was great having them both here, but with so much going on, I just wondered how I did with everyone. It was more than I had done in months, and I really had to struggle hard to maintain concentration on all I was needing to concentrate on. I just don’t have a good sense of self-awareness right now! I just don’t want to insult anyone. Thank God they are both friends too, have a deep sense of concern for me and understanding.

We (our family) also had three open houses to stop in at for graduations this weekend. So there was even more going on than the church-stuff! But despite all the busyness, I knew I would make it, and I did! Yee ha!

Sure enough however, my long run is not quite over……this morning Amanda got very sick with a migraine and this afternoon I had to take her to get a shot. She of course has it A LOT worse than anyone else here in terms of condition. I know that for sure. It’s just that I am well past when I thought I would get some rest. And to make things worse, sadly, Mr. Ben is not being very helpful either. It amazes me that at almost 1 year old you never want to take a nap, while at 46 you want one all the time. And he and I just cannot seem to reach a happy medium. The important part though, and the blessing is, is that Amanda is unconscious and probably will remain that way until tomorrow due to the shot. It will take her a few days, but the shots do work, and she will get better….and we all thank God for that!

But the reality is that there will be no shot for me!! And I will be awake for quite some time. The bale this weekend and today already seemed pretty big, but clearly Ben thinks we need a little more hay.

No worries though, I intend to get through it and live a long and productive life………long enough for sure to make certain he gets what I know he needs…..a dad he can take care of! After all, what goes around comes around. And if I can’t give him that kind of hay, I am sure one day he will have a boy of his own!

Update: It looks like the graham cracker and bottle is working! Praise God!

Tom+

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My apologies…..the product of a mushy mind…….

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I didn’t post last night because there was just so much spinning through my mind. Michael’s funeral was wonderful. The clergy at Our Lady of Grace did a great job of helping us to celebrate his life. Michael was such a great guy, and I even missed Michael when he couldn’t make practice……I know it’s going to be a lot harder now.

I sat at the funeral with most of the girls on our team and with Coach Corry. Michael touched everyone of them, and his influence upon them clearly was indelible. I know we were all blessed to know him, and it frustrates me very much to suddenly not be able to put what I want and NEED to say into words about him. Perhaps tomorrow will provide me the opportunity.

I work hard to keep myself together when this happens to me. As for a reason, (of course I have had a stroke) I think the happenings of the week, and the ones coming up this weekend, just trip some sort of “limit switch” in my head and my ability to move ahead just stalls. It is hard to deal with, but in time I will get there…. In the meantime, please be patient. I still do have a lot to say about this week, Michael, his funeral, and all that has happened….I just have the need and desire to say it well/right.

Okay, I am giving up for the day! Pray for clarity for me tomorrow…Lord knows I need it!

Peace!

Fr. Tom+

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Of the hope for a better tomorrow………

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It has been an unusual day for me for a lot of reasons. Today I not only was able to attend the visitation for Michael Treinen at our Lady of Grace Catholic Church, but I was also able to meet his parents and one of his sisters for the first time. They are remarkable people. It was a hard time for everyone, and I just wish my mind could have kept up with all that was happening around me. The effects of the stroke often manifest themselves in hard places, and this was one of them.
I do have some things to say about what I am witnessing, but I just can’t get my thoughts lined up correctly….at least I can’t today. It is not some type of writer’s block, it is clearly a stroke-thing. After the funeral tomorrow I believe (and hope) that I will be able to express myself better.
Today was also my wife Amanda’s birthday. The events of her birthday bookended work and the visitation. We started the day with a coffee cake with candles and ended it with a DQ cake and high blood sugar I am sure. But celebrations are an important part of life, and today was one of her celebration days.
Tomorrow will be one of Michael’s. Funerals are to be a reflection and celebration of one’s life, and I am confident his will be just that. As a priest, I find comfort in them. And as a brother who lost two sisters to cancer as well, Steph (who my daughter is named for and who died in 2001), and Sarah (who died in 2004) I need them. Believe me, there is enough pain to last 100’s of years in any of this…..what funerals provide is the hope, peace and assurance that those of us who are left need to live on. They hold up death for what it is, just a transition, a gate that we too will one day pass through. And when we do, we will see those who went before us again. You see, there is a lot to celebrate…..death is not the end of the story!
Please keep the Treinens in your prayers and all those who are struggling with Michael’s death…..particularly the young people. Tomorrow will be a trying day for many. Pray that the Lord’s Hand may rest upon them all, and that His funeral will celebrate his life, and provide the comfort, the hope, the peace, and the assurance that everyone will need.
God bless you my friends.
Fr. Tom+
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A short post before the end of the day…….

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Today was really my first full day back working, and I made the most of it in usual Tom Tirman style…..I packed in about 30 hours of work into 12 hours. No, I am not working on a second, more spectacular stroke, but I am in the process of relearning how to manage my life with a brain that doesn’t quite get it yet. (nor can it tell time) I was slap-happy in the late morning, yet far from done. It will be interesting to see what I feel like tomorrow.

What I can say is that I am emotionally and physically wiped out from the day, and from the happenings of life all around me. I do know I am way past my limit, and will forgo writing too much tonight…it would only be rambling.

But if you read this, I ask that you please pray for the family of Michael Treinen and for our community. His visitation is tomorrow and his funeral is on Thursday. Your prayers will mean a lot to everyone.

Goodnight my friends, and God Bless.

Tom+

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A tragic day………….good-bye my friend…….

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I wish I had the heart to post yesterday, but it was a pretty sad day. Our dear friend Michael Treinen went home to be with the Lord at around 6:30 in the morning. Michael was a remarkable young man, who our entire community will miss.

Many of you may have heard of Michael or have been following his story. He was diagnosed with cancer just before his graduation from high school last year. He had to set aside his plans to go to Arizona State in order to go through treatment, and that decision led to remission in January of this year.

Sadly, his remission did not last long. A month later Michael was again fighting for his life…..a battle he would fight until yesterday morning.

Michael however was not like a lot of people I know who have cancer…….he was very different. Michael, though he had a terrible disease, and though he had no misconceptions of what he was to endure or what could happen to him, chose each and every day to live. And live he did. He took each day as an opportunity to make his mark upon the world. And in all my days, not just as a pastor, but as a person, I have met few like him. He inspired everyone around him, including me. And I have to say that my time with him, though short, was one of the most incredible blessings I have ever been given.

Last night around the high school flag pole, hundreds of people, students and adults alike, gathered to share what Michael meant to them. Michael was the Assistant Coach for the boy’s high school lacrosse team. He had been awarded the night before he died the “2008 Assistant Coach of the Year” for boy’s lacrosse, though he could not be present to receive it. It was quite an honor. Yet Michael really didn’t seem to be about all attention, he just was about making that mark on those he met.

I only met Michael in person on April 19th, the day after I was released from the hospital following my stroke. Oh I knew who he was, because everyone knows him here in Noblesville, but I went out to shake his hand very close to the big “N” on the high school stadium field where we were playing that day. You may remember I am the head coach of the high school girl’s lacrosse team, and my stroke occurred on the week of our first game. When it was clear I would need to be hospitalized and not able to practice or coach, my Assistant Coach Lisa Corry put a call out to our boy’s team for help….and help we got! But guess who was one of the coaches to show up? That’s right, Michael Treinen! And not only did he show up, he showed up every day…even after I returned! He showed up in between chemo and transfusions, never complaining, never calling attention to himself, only working to live his life and to make his mark. He inspired me, and he inspired our team as well.

Last night, our girl’s team was there too, and many of them spoke of how he had inspired them and made them a team, and how important he was in their lives. He walked with them only a little over a month, first to cover for me when I was out, and then at our invitation as an Assistant Coach for us too (after all he was there every day!). And though we have no such award as Assistant Coach of the Year in girl’s lacrosse, I am certain both Lisa and I would be comfortable just conferring on him Girl’s Coach of the Year for Noblesville Lacrosse. God knows he deserves it, for his mark on us all will be ever-lasting.

I will miss Michael, though I know he is in a far better place. I have two sisters there who like him left this earth far too early from battling the same terrible disease, and I rejoice that none of them shall suffer any further. But I can see his mark all around me, in the people he touched, the faces of the girl’s, and even in my own heart. Thanks Michael for showing us all the importance of living each day.

Few people ever live so fully. I thank the Lord for the opportunity we have all had to walk with him, and look forward to being reunited with him again, one day, in heaven.

May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the tender mercy of God, rest in peace.

Fr. Tom+

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Blessings are sometimes what they make of them!!!!

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Last night “Pizza and Movie Night” looked to be a blast. Everyone was ready, there was really nothing in our way……but unfortunately, two of us only partook of the pizza part. Ben decided rather quickly that he was not getting enough attention, which is something he is lately making a career of. So he decided to do what he does best…..he worked hard to entertain everyone. Unfortunately however for Ben, we all were really hoping to be entertained by the movie instead.

So after about 20 minutes of his giggling and attempting to get everyone’s attention, Ben and I departed the basement and went upstairs. He got a bottle, a new diaper, and a ride up to my bed with me where he could talk and giggle all he wanted. Actually, we had a blast. Amanda, Steph, and Scott may have seen a great movie, but I had a personal performance from a comedian who could actually make me laugh! It was a blessing in itself (and it was all mine!!)

And, as we lounged around laughing and playing between his bottle swigs, I wondered just how long he might go on. I soon got my answer. After a few more minutes Ben took one last drink, pitched his bottle to my side, then flipped over towards Amanda’s side of the bed where he promptly conked out! Another one of God’s blessing…perhaps even a MIRACLE! So I finished my night in quasi-solitude, reading and writing with his back toward me and an occasional baby snore….which is hilarious in itself.

As I said yesterday, I have great kids. And all and all it was a fun day. I thank God for the time I get to spend with each of them, though it sometimes, okay it often, doesn’t turn out exactly as I envisioned. They are still all blessings to me. And I would not want them to be any different! Yesterday was fun, and as for today, we intend to have a wonderful Saturday together.

I hope your Saturday is just as wonderful, and full of the marvelous blessings the Lord indeed provides!

God Bless!

Tom+

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Of God’s Many Blessings………

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Today when the kids got home from school their little brother Ben was in his jumper bouncing up and down watching that amazing educational show, “SpongeBob Squarepants.” Ben was laughing at SpongeBob, Steph and Scott were laughing at Ben, and I was laughing at all three of them. I have really great kids. They are happy, healthy, funny, and wonderful. I am truly blessed.

What that scene reminded me of however was the importance of taking time to enjoy life. A baby’s giggle, a smile, happy teenagers (and mine are happy all the time) are all just a few examples of God’s blessings around us! And I want to enjoy them!

Too often however, the happenings of this life can rob us of what God Himself wants for us. God wants for us to enjoy His Blessings! We certainly all have plenty of things that can weigh us down, but it’s often just a matter of where we are looking, where we are turning our heads. God’s blessings abound! But often we have to choose to look at them, or for them!

As for me, I live with many of mine, and today I am enjoying them! I have plenty of worries that can wait. For tonight my kids will be my joy as Amanda and I are going to watch a movie with them and eat some pizza on a night I have just declared as “movie and pizza night” (yep I am far less creative after a stroke). But for me, it will be a blast!

I hope this day you are aware of God’s many blessings around you. They are there on every side. Take some time to look for them and enjoy them.

I hope your day turns out as blessed as mine!

One week to go!!

Fr. Tom+

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Of going to the dogs………

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What happened to the 21st??? Well, it’s gone, and I didn’t post. I did a lot yesterday, but more than anything I enjoyed some time in our backyard with one of our dogs, Viper. I know, his name sounds intimidating, but Viper is just a big old Golden Retriever with a tail that never stops wagging. We actually breed and show Goldens under the name “Angelcreek,” and we have four furry, funny, and friendly dogs. (we also have a spare dog….Amanda’s dog Spencer)

Viper is actually his “call name” or what we call him around the house. As you can imagine, SCOTT picked that name because Viper is Scott’s dog. Viper’s real name is “Charisma’s Anglecreek Snakenshake.” Actually all the dogs (but Spencer)all have real names. There is “Claybrook’s Angelcreek GEN” (for Genesis)….Jenny. “Angelcreek’s Best of the Batch”…….Cookie. And last but certainly not least, “Angelcreek’s I’m Not Mary Ann” …….aka Ginger. All of them are marvelous dogs, sweet as the day is long, and ALWAYS good for me. Regardless of what kind of day I have had, they always are wagging their tails and happy. It has very little to do with food or playtime…it has everything to do with their outlook on life. I learn a lot from them, and yesterday I learned a lot from Viper. Lying in the sun out in the grass watching birds and wagging your tail seemed to be exactly what I needed. (I didn’t have a tail, I borrowed his.)

Yep, my life is going to the dogs. They are great therapists. Where else can you get such a value? All I paid with yesterday was a little time, a few biscuits, and tennis ball!

And, I intend to go back to that therapist later today!

God bless.

Fr. Tom+