All posts by Fr Tom Tirman

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“What’s in a name?” And don’t call me Juliet!

I have been thinking a lot about names lately, and my name in particular. My name is of course, “Thomas,” meaning “the twin,” though I understand (from witnesses) that I was born all by myself, and am far from having two personalities!

But the funny thing is that no one really ever calls me Thomas, nor have they ever. And honestly that’s something for which I am very thankful. My feelings for my full name border a little past “strong dislike.” Tom is fine, but Thomas is out! Not only is it the name of a toy train covered apparently with tons of lead paint, but it just seems so formal.

I actually grew up as Tommy, which is the name I prefer, but the one I tried to escape at 12 years old as being too childish. I made such a big fuss about it in Florida with my dad’s mom (Grandma Keenan) that I am sure I hurt her feelings. It embarrasses me to this day! Pre-adolescent stands are sometimes so foolish when we look back at them….okay they almost always are. And isn’t it ironic that as an adult I like Tommy better now.

Tommy however, doesn’t flow too well professionally. Father Tommy or Doctor Tommy seems like a name for me at 5 in a Halloween costume. And at home my wife doesn’t like me to use it. But she doesn’t like Mandy either, which is what her family calls her. Too bad, because I like them both. And I do not know why she is so against it. I think it is better to call me Tommy around the house rather than “your highness,” or “Brad Pitt,” like she normally does…..after all I am not really royalty.

But people often ask me what I want them to call me, and I always say, “call me whatever you like, what makes you comfortable.” I suppose this is a way of saying I still mean that. But in my heart, I will always be just Tommy. And since I know she can hear me, I’m sorry grandma…..you were right! My real name is Tommy, and Tommy it will always be.

Nite and God bless!

Tommy+ (Fr. Tom+)

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A day I would rather not relive………..

Though I thought today would be pretty relaxing, it was anything but. Deacon Conley was doing the sermon at all our missions this weekend, and it looked to be a welcome break for me. Things went well yesterday, but this morning as I was leaving for St. Patrick’s, Amanda shared that her head was killing her, and that she felt she was possibly getting another migraine. She told me she had already taken her migraine medicine, but that was also a clear indicator that she would not be heading to church. All through that first service I thought about how I wish I had taken Ben with me, but I couldn’t really assume there would be someone there to care for him during the service. I did however know that Father Chuck would be at St. Anne’s in Anderson for our 11:30 service. And no, I was not intending to ask Chuck to watch Ben, but I figured I would sit in the congregation with Ben at St. Anne’s while Chuck celebrated for me……after all, I did so well with Ben yesterday!

But all three of our deacons were a St. Patrick’s with me, and after the service they suggested a more intelligent solution…..that I go home and take care of both of them. And though I did want to go to Anderson, it was a good suggestion. I took their advice and went how to a very appreciative wife and a very excited boy! Amanda went right to bed, and Ben and I went right back to the wrestling match we started yesterday! It was the right thing to do all around.

But clearly by the late afternoon, the lingering effects of my stroke were evident. I just don’t have it some days and today was one of them. I was wiped out by 5. Fortunately Amanda was up and feeling better which allowed me to get some rest.

Of course I always remember the line that there is no rest for the wicked, and I am not sure why that always comes to my mind when things begin to go wrong, but it always seems to! For just as I was thinking about finishing this blog up at about 9pm and heading to bed, I got a call from the nursing home telling me that my mom had had a seizure. So I was off to the nursing home to see her, and thankfully she was fine.

My mom is a sad story. She is young, just in her late 60’s and has been in a nursing home from diabetic and smoking related strokes and TIA’s for about 10 years. She had three children, but my two sisters, Stephanie and Sarah, died from cancer in 2001 and 2004 respectively. I am her only living child, and I feel very sorry for her. She was extremely close to my sisters, and though we always laugh that she got stuck with the worst of us, I can’t help but thinking at times as if she is thinking, “no kidding.” She just reads, still smokes, and now is wheelchair bound. She sometimes is incredibly confused (dementia) but tonight was pretty sharp, and concerned.

She is one of the reasons I have worked so hard to avoid diabetes. My grandfather had a similar story, but I will be where it stops. I will confess however that the stroke scared and scares me to death in terms of my family history. I have a lot of life and living to do…..I do not intend to do it with a demented mind or from a home if I can avoid it!

Anyway, the day (I hope) is done, and I am thankful for it. I will still be receiving a call from the nursing home tonight, but I will pray it is just for a report. My wife had told me to make sure I pick up the kitchen, so I know she is okay. (I read this to her and she has now threatened to write her own blog to refute my clear and truthful persecution) But I am exhausted and hope to hit the bed.

But tonight I am thankful for the great guys I work with, for they are not just good souls (most of the time) they are my friends, and I know they care for me. I love what I do, and I love the people I do it with. I am truly blessed……even on the most exhausting days! Thanks be to God!

Nite my friends, and God bless.

Tom+

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Of my incredible wrestling abilities………

Tonight all of our clergy, with the exception of Father Sean who starts next week, snuck down to St. Matthew’s in Nashville to sit in the congregation as Deacon Tony Bender (our newest deacon) held his first Deacon’s Mass. No pressure on Tony that’s for sure (ha ha)…..just Deacon Dan helping him and the other three of us sitting out there smiling at him! But despite all of us staring at him, he did a great job. (He’s a pretty steady, good natured guy!) I actually had never been present for a Deacon’s Mass before, because when a priest is present he usually just celebrates the Eucharist himself. But Father Chuck had seen a Deacon’s Mass, and I wanted to see one…..and who better to see for my first than my good friend of 25 years Tony Bender?

But actually, that is not my story tonight. My story is Ben, and more than that, it’s Amanda too. You see, I NEVER sit in a congregation except on rare occasions, and those rare occasions are never in any of my own churches. So tonight as a rookie out there in the seats, I made a real rookie mistake. I decided it would be a good idea for me to hang with Ben through the service. Little did I know it would not be all worship and observation for me…..no, it was often a wrestling match instead, and I lost a lot of its rounds.

Ben first wanted the collar tab that makes the white square in the uniform of a priest. (He has NO concept of personal space) It’s funny how he is always stealing that collar tab from me, but this time after he stole it, he was adamant about not giving it back! Then he decided he wanted to throw stuff on the floor, then he wanted to jump, and then he wanted to yell just to hear his voice! So I got up and took him with me to the last row, but about half way through the service Amanda felt that he and I were just being too much and he was taken away from me faster than the Cubs lose in September every year. And to this very moment I am not sure whether it was punishment or a gift, but needless to say I needed it either way. And he was whisked off and returned a short time later as delightful as ever.

How she does that, I will never know, but I have to say, I admire her work. I know he doesn’t understand words too well, but he certainly seemed to understand her. She has a real handle on how to handle him, and for that I am thankful.

In truth, I am just happy she didn’t whisk me away…….I do not think I would have fared as well!

So now we are home and Ben is asleep and the day is at its end! Thank the Lord! I am not watching tomorrow, but will be back up in my usual spot. I know the congregation, and especially Amanda, will be thankful for that!

Nite and God Bless!

Tom+

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Of Aslan, Scotty, and the Last Battle…….

As a summer project, Scotty and I have been reading “The Chronicles of Narnia” together, though “together” generally means I am way ahead of him. Many years ago, Steph and I read “The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe” together, but that was as far as I went. When Scott and I decided to read the series, I asked Steph about it. Steph, who is an avid reader, was able to provide us with two full sets of the series from her personal library!

It amazes me at how much I love to read, but how little I actually do. I find it very relaxing AND, I find that it also helps in my rehab. This series in particular has been so much fun for me too. As a priest, CS Lewis was a theologian, not a fiction writer. But “The Chronicles of Narnia” seems to contain both fiction and theology. It has been a real blessing to me, as well as a privilege to read them with Scott.

I began to read “The Last Battle” this evening, which is the last book in the series, and I am both excited and depressed about getting to its end! I know there are other books I can read, but there have been few books I have enjoyed as much as these.

Anyway, I’m off to stay ahead! I hope to finish “The Last Battle” by bedtime. Of course the last battle is never really over……..I still have to push that 15 year old boy of mine to catch up! But in truth, it is still easier than getting him to clean his room!

Nite and God bless!

Fr. Tom+

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Elvis is in the building………well, kind of…….

I saw him today, and he is here, in Indiana, and even has a home here! Oh no, it’s not really Elvis, but rather Father Sean Templeton who joins our staff beginning August 1st! (In my mind, Sean is definitely better than Elvis anyway!)

We met Sean up at the house he is renting in Muncie and helped him move some things and unpack a bunch of books (thousands, maybe millions). We then held our clergy meeting at the Bob Evans there in Muncie. Now I have been to a lot of clergy meetings in my time, and I have to say that I like the ones at Bob Evans or Cracker Barrel the best. (Ideally, they would be best if the first half was at one and the second at the other, but I digress) There is nothing like hanging out with the very guys who will be visiting you in the hospital when all that fat you are eating plugs up your arteries. (Elvis would be proud) But I can truly confess that a great time was had by all.

Anyway, Sean will be heading back to Ohio tomorrow for his final weekend preaching and celebrating in the parish he was erving there. I am sure they will hold a big party for him, but I also know there will be a lot of tears. Though people I am certain are happy for him, it will indeed be hard for them to see him go.

But here we will be planning another party…..one to welcome him as one of our own!

Keep him in your prayers as he travels!

Nite my friends and God Bless.

Tom+

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Okay, morning MUST BE a relative term……..

What a goofball I am! I really thought I had accomplished so much today, and yet as I sat down tonight to type this, thinking I could complete it and go to bed early, I read the promise yesterday (of an apparent lunatic) saying he would be up early and write in the morning! What would possess him to say those things???? Probably just the same flawed gene that is responsible in my life for the lines, “sure mom, I cleaned my room,” “if we just get a puppy I will ALWAYS take care of him,” “don’t worry about those cookies, I will just have one,” and of course the famous, “I promise I’ll do it tomorrow” which is of course just a comprehensive excuse that not only gets one out of a lot of responsibilites, but which also implies a very noble intention…..a great distraction for those of us with forgetful minds!

Anyway, sorry to dissapoint you, but this post will be the only one I will ,or even can, offer today. I and my memory appear to be about as reliable as Brittany Spears in a Mother of the Year Contest.

So for tonight, I am out on the porch with the door to the house open, and the cat coming in and out, which is not just her job, but her prerogative. My body is adjusting back to the long day I had yesterday, and hopefully by morning it will be back on track. Our regular clergy meeting tomorrow will be in Muncie where our new assistant priest is moving. We will meet there at 10am (now I just heard 9am!!) to unload his furniture into the house he is going to live in. He will head back to Ohio for his final weekend at his Church there and before leaving to join our staff on August 1st. He (Father Sean) is a great guy, and we love him to death, but tonight my prayers will be for his furniture to be light!!!!

On a disconnected note, let me say, I hope you are enjoying this blog. I have to confess, it has not turned out the way I intended….anywhere near what I intended in fact! I really did think it would be more theological (which in priest’s terms means smarty-pants stuff, but in the regular world means “dull”) but I suppose it is what it is. I NEEDED to write to help myself recover from the stroke, and in truth all that I have written has been helpful. But here’s the confession…..it has also pointed out a piece that I will need to share with my doctors in September if things have not changed. I have indeed lost a big important thinking part of my brain.

But before you fret, or even panic, please remember I process most of my life through my faith. I believe this not to be a tragedy as much as a call to a new direction. Time will tell, and we will see….but I KNOW I will be a priest until the day that I die. I just think how and what I am doing is beginning to change. Please pray for me. For more than anything else right now, I both want and NEED the Lord to intervene to let me know that moving furniture tomorrow to be a bad idea.

But I am not holding my breath.

Nite my friends, and God Bless!

Fr. Tom+

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Getting in when the cows come home…….

Well I have plenty to say, it just would be irresponsible at this point to be saying it. We just returned from taking Steph and Scott on a day trip, and it is 2:12 am! My body has been pushed over the limit, not by doing too much, but by staying up too long! So I will ask for forgiveness, and promise to write in the morning!

Thanks for understanding! I am sometimes up this late/early, but it usually means something is wrong! Of course tonight/this morning something is……..I am clearly not smart enough to go to bed!

Nite and God bless! I will write in a few hours!

Tom+

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Forgetting that which I thought I would remember……ouch!

One of the up-sides of having a stroke is that when you forget things, people seem to give you a lot of room for your mistake. Take this blog for instance…..yesterday I just plum forgot! Could it have been the stroke? Sure. Is it really likely that it was my stroke? Well, probably not.

Of course as a Christian, I suppose I could make the excuse that it was Sunday and the Sabbath. Fine and good, had I not already worked most of the day…..plus it would have been a lie (you don’t take 75% Sabbaths)!

I will admit that I sat down early last night and did attempt to get some thoughts together, which never did come, but at least I tried. Was that failed attempt the stroke? Maybe, but without constant CT scans, doctors and therapists to tell me if it was or not, who’s to know? It probably really doesn’t matter. What mind I have is going to be there with or without excuses! I can no more replace it than I can my arm!

Anyway, Amanda reminded me about the blog tonight as I got home from Nashville and an Alpha Course preview at around 10pm, and she did so in a “I seem to need to be reminding you in a worrisome way.” That’s a sure and certain sign that she thinks it’s a stroke-thing. As for me, I appreciate her concern and gentle nudge…..it is welcome sympathy. I will not let it go to waste. If forgetfulness and confusion get me gentle reminders, maybe a few more forgetful episodes will relieve me from loading the dishwasher and mowing the lawn.

It’s worth a try…….but I won’t hold my hopes too high. After all, I am not crazy….I’ve just had a stroke.

Nite my friends and I am sorry to have forgotten to come back to my typing last night!

God bless. forgetting

Tom+

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There can be no more gunpowder left in China………

It is July 19th, and it absolutely amazes me the amount of fireworks I am seeing and hearing from my back porch tonight at 10:30 at night. It finally led to my looking up the law, and sure enough it has been changed. In Indiana, not only are all types of fireworks legal, but you apparently can shoot them off on the big holidays from 9am to midnight. Less we think we have become unreasonable here in the Hoosier State, if it is not a big holiday (so this means ANY OTHER day of the year) we now have to respect our neighbors and stop firing them off by 11pm! IT’S ABSOLUTE LUNACY!!! My neighbors can complain if my stereo is too loud, but not if I am lighting off explosives! (If I were just 35 years younger I would think this was the coolest law in the world, but clearly I am not!)

But I suppose lots of things in our modern world don’t make sense to me, and fireworks is just one of them (and I do not think it is my age). For instance, as a third generation American, I wonder how people can break the immigration laws and come here illegally, and we just turn our heads. My family didn’t come here that way. We followed the rules, and I believe we all should!

And how about all these people we hear about who commit MAJOR CRIMES, who not only have been in jail many times before, but who then never complete anywhere near their sentence. Or how many times do we need to hear about a drunk hitting someone with their car only to find out that they have had a ton of DUI’s before this one? AND ALL THIS OF COURSE IS JUST A SHORT LIST!!! What has happened to order? Where in the world is our common sense? We really need to get a grip on things before it’s too late!

I worry about where we are and where we are headed, and that’s part of why I do what I do. Our world needs to make a turn and head in a better direction, and I believe that a life of faith, and the discipline it requires, is just the ticket we need to get where we need to go.

You see, life is more than fireworks, or just doing what in the heck you want. Following Jesus means loving God and your neighbor, and loving both requires a life of personal responsibility and respect. We are clearly not there, but through Christ I believe we can get there!

It’s quiet now, but I guarantee you Ben is already in my bed. If that’s what it takes to get him through the night tonight peacefully, then so be it. But the world we see still waits for him and for all our children, and I believe we should be concerned. We are its current stewards and they are tomorrow’s. What we will hand them should offer more than we offer now.

I still however have hope for the future, for with God all things are possible. I prayed for the fireworks to stop and they have. I am certain it was not the prayers as much as the neighbors running out of ammo! But nonetheless, if we are going to change anything and make it last, God must be in it! My hope and prayer is that you too want more for our children that the culture we see, and that you will join me in praying for better, and commit yourself to working for better with me as well!

A peaceful night to you my friends, and God Bless!

Fr. Tom+

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It’s late, I’m bored, and I am tired…..thank GOD!

Well tonight there is no moon, no fireworks, and no distractions because I am writing this early. It has been a busy day and I can’t even begin to express how ready I am to get some sleep! So tonight my daughter’s beliefs that I am “so old” will not be dispelled. I will hit the bed before 10pm tonight (which I believe is pretty late anyhow, but please don’t tell Steph)

In addition to wearing myself out today however I got a lot of things done. We made some progress on our plans for St. Paul’s Greenfield. I was able to speak with my friend Sister Sarah Masterson who is a nun in the northern part of the state. I finished up some final touches on my sermon for tomorrow. And in addition to the usual office stuff, Ben and I also did a few home repairs between the macaroni and cheese and sippy cups. (That’s all Amanda allows me to use, she says I’m messy)

But regardless, lately it seems it always comes down to Puddy and I out here on the porch typing at the end of the day. She’s the perfect assistant to be out here with me as I type, because unlike her canine companions, she never drops a wet ball into my lap or eats the porch rails or the chairs. She just watches birds and bugs till I finish up and we go in. I appreciate her company for the hour or so we are usually out here together….it’s clearly quality time. After all she sleeps about 22 hours a day, and to give me half of her awake time in a day makes me feel tremendously important.

Though I rarely watched it, Jerry Seinfeld made a great living in starring in a show about nothing. Somehow I feel like my day today could be one of his episodes. Not everyday in the life of a priest contains an amazing transformation, an interrupted wedding (at the objection part), the confession of a murder, or an exorcism! If you are expecting any of that, you are watching way too much TV…..(or it may be happening tomorrow). Today was pretty routine!

But today, more than anything, was just a day I got to enjoy with my youngest boy where not a whole lot happened…..thank God for that too!

I will count it as a win, and hit the bed for hopefully some quality sleep.

It has been a great day…..I pray that yours has been one too!

Nite and God bless!

Tom+