All posts by Fr Tom Tirman

Tradition……..

Well I have only seen “Fiddler on the Roof” one time, and that’s only because my brother Mike was the lead in it for Cathedral High School’s play.  I had only heard about it before, and as a kid my dad was always singing songs from it as he had the “album.”  (kids, if your parents are old enough to remember albums you can ask them)

But in all honesty it was awesome.  Mike as Tevye, as well as everyone in the play was outstanding, and that made it the best.  But one rea
son it really stuck out was because of the dynamic of the family. The family was faithful.  The father was always talking to God and worries about his children.  And they were embedded in their “Tradition.” (capitalized on purpose)  And more than that, they were proud of it too.  Wherever they may find themselves does not matter.  Tradition is important.

Now this may seem like a much larger deal to you than it is to me, as I was upset after I took the picture I am using tonight as Ben refused to get on the dog.  And in doing so, or rather not doing so, he broke what in my mind (and from what you can see) was a tradition.  No, not a capital T tradition by any means, although we a big Butler Bulldog people, but enough to where I considered taking him out to have his DNA checked to see if he might have been switched for our real son at the hospital.  But he, as they say, is (often, way too often) his own man, so he made it clear he would just stand by the statue of Blue instead…..thus the disparity in the two pictures.

And all of this reminded me to include the ever popular third picture which is of Steph and Ben at Brookfield Zoo (my favorite) in Chicago this summer.  Yes another statue for my children to sit on, and Ben was once again “his own man,” but this time I had him.  You see, times have changed, and where my dad might make some “direct suggestion” to me to get on that, let’s just use the word “lion” here, I would understand clearly that my life could be in danger.  (To paraphrase Bill Cosby, he used to tell his children that he brought them INTO the world and he could take them right back OUT too)  Kids of my generation understood that kind of parental advice.

BUT apparently, that type of “advice” is no longer socially acceptable, unless of course you are a sibling.  When Steph and Scott are now together they tell me stories and all I can say is “NO NO NO….I do not want to know.”  You see I remember “sibling justice” and whereas parents are often afraid of violating social norms, your brother or sister doesn’t really care.  I fortunately could not hear, but I am pretty certain it was not “Please oh please my dearest brother and come sit with me on this stone lion.”  I just know he got up (reluctantly) smiled, and moved on.

Ben also did other BU family traditions like walking around Hinkle Fieldhouse, climbing to the top and sitting by himself, and talking me into expensive food that he wouldn’t eat.  But hanging with my kids is always a lot of fun.  I just hope to get all three of them there together someday, because I love reliving our Traditions.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless.


Tommy+

Primo-Dona…..

I was looking for a picture that I was hoping to post with another I already have, but the such for it is proving to be much larger a challenge than I had anticipated.  I did however run across a few others, and this one I had to post.  And although Stephanie generally receives a texted apology shortly after I post anything about her, this one I believe she will have no objections to whatsoever.  It is actually one of my favorite pictures.

The picture was taken at the end of her sophomore year in high school, a few years after her “math-nerd era” and at the end of the second year of her “athletic era” of which she is still in.  This is just weeks before she was awarded the first of three consecutive MVP awards for lacrosse, and the “gang sign” she is making (although it looks like a peace sign) actually indicates that she went underground with all the nerd stuff and is part of the dreaded “Pythagorean Fear-ems” which are very secretive and are just as influential in the world as the Illuminati are to people who think we still exist, I mean that they do exist…pardon.

But looking at it made me laugh.  Steph now is in her last year at Lindenwood University in St. Charles, Missouri, and they finished last year at number 15 in the country in NCAA Division II.  So this is to say that her “athletic era”……… continues and she is majoring in CHEMISTRY which shows that she is every bit of a “uber-nerd” as my wife.  And although I am not sure if she is still part of that secret group, she does roll her eyes when I tell a hilariously funny joke or story, and I believe that may indeed be a new kind of sign, as I am clearly very funny.

But now I can post this and go back to find that other picture.  This one however, made my day.  Steph far exceeds what I ever imagined a daughter could be, and is also far more than I deserve.  And I am a very blessed dad…..even if she does not acknowledge how very hilarious I am.  But then again she is just like my wife and nerds are just that way.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Of math and other exciting concepts………

Math is a big thing in my family.  Lots of us are good at it, a few make of living of it, and had they even known that during high school algebra I truly wondered why in the world we learn this stuff (as I thought it was useless) I probably would have been disowned.  But math, even simple math, is a part of our everyday lives.

Take probability theory for instance, the branch of mathematics concerned with probability, or in English, the figuring out of the likelihood something will happen.   This infiltrates my life daily.  For instance…..the probability that Ben will be some weird character the next time I talk to him, high; the probability that I will read about the Chicago Bears playing in the Superbowl in a matter of days, low; the probability that I will do something wrong today, high (I am both male and a husband); the probability that I would do something wrong if I were female and a wife, not enough data or brain damage on my part to make such assumptions; and the probability that it will snow and be cold in Indiana in January, high….after all it is WINTER.

But as most of you know, I, unlike much of my family, did not travel down the sciences path.  I was instead in the humanities field (Religion) which means of course I have a high probability of working for you, but I digress.  What I can say though, as just a general observation, is that in SOME cases one does not need to rely on math, nor all the “mathy things” like Doppler radar and elaborate algorithms to know what we know from just good old, get ready, “common sense.”

When I was a kid there was what we used to call a “weatherman” on TV, WNDU (W Notre Dame University) in fact,  named Dick Addis.  We would turn on the TV and he would tell us what was going to happen outside, and he actually was what they used to call “right” all the time.  And this was before all this technology, (although not math as it is eternal – ask my family) and so anyone who would watch him, oh I don’t know, let’s say in January, might not be surprised to hear him say it was going to be cold and it will snow.  People down here in the deep south of mid-Indiana seem quite put off at what we used to call “WINTER,” but to us followers of Dick Addis, I need to confess we are not phased.

The snowman in tonight’s picture graced our yard for a few days in late December as it snowed then.  The highlight of seeing it built was Ben throwing snowballs at Steph and missing her wildly, despite the fact he was close enough to touch her and she was not dodging.  (He may very well have a career with the Cubs or Indians)  But it was gone in just a few days.

The snowman’s demise however tragic, indicates math.  He was built, the temperature went up a bit, he melted, and he was gone.  But here is the big lesson from humanities for all you mathematicians…….we can build anther, in fact many more.  A melted snowman does not indicate SUMMER!  Trust in Dick Addis, it is WINTER, it is cold, and there is a high probability of what we call “snow.”

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Reflections upon stupidity…….

Our cat Puddy (pronounced similar to the word pudding) is 11 years old.  I have written about her before, as she is considered one of the meanest most dangerous cats in the world.  On the outside she looks sweet.  She is a small gray and white cat, and has never been outside other than by accident.  As you may remember, she was declawed in ALL four paws (you cannot declaw her evil and dark soul) and compensates for that over the years by biting, with teeth that I am sure she makes time to sharpen multiple times a day.

What is a complete oddity however is that she loves Ben.  He is young, way too busy for a cat’s preferred environment of lying around contemplating killing something, and yet for the two of them they make it work.  She sleeps with him, hangs with him, and all in ways that reflect far more than just tolerance as no one on God’s good earth has ever been able to tell a cat what to do.

But Puddy does have, or at least had, a problem…….addiction.  For as long as I remember she has been addicted to cat treats, and not in what some might deem “recreational use” but full blown addiction. The cat word “meow” means a variety of things, as they are linguistically not all that diverse, but when she doesn’t get her treats and she meows perhaps 1000 times in a row while following you wherever you go, I am pretty sure there is a problem.  And the first part of recovery is admitting that there is a problem (which she hasn’t yet…..to her it is still OUR problem and she works hard to make it so).

So imagine my worry a few weeks back when I opened the container of treats that Ben handed me and it was empty.  Her dealer is generally Walmart, but it was late and a long way to go to get her a fix, and really I understand I should not enable this kind of behavior.  So out of desperation, I went in and filled the treat container with her regular cat food and prayed that it would work.  Oddly enough it did, it has since then, and it does.  It was never about the addiction.  For 11 years apparently it has all been about the love.

But for 11 years I have come to realize the utter stupidity of my actions.  Treats cost A LOT more than that food I have always had in abundance, and had I figured this out years ago, perhaps Amanda would not have to be thinking about getting that third job.

But that is the world of addiction.  Sometimes we just don’t get it.  But when we do figure it out, things get better.  Puddy is just as happy, I am a lot happier, and it saves us all from having to send her to a daily meeting of CTA.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Dignified……….

Yes, this is of Ben and I, but it WAS taken right before the start of his banquet on Saturday.  This is to say, no people with the ability to break my spine while shouting numbers in Korean were disturbed in the taking of this photo.  Yes, age has made me wise.

But of course as you can see, age has done nothing to tone down my propensity for goofing off, and sadly for my wife that is something I have passed on to all three children.  The blessing of that of course is that our gatherings are often filled with laughter. (Scotty will hide in a closet for hours just to jump out at Amanda….it’s hilarious!) But the curse is that we have probably shaved off a few years of her life, which of course begs the question, “If we happen to do her in, who will make that fantastic Oreo dessert?”

The truth however, is that we cannot help ourselves.  In fact, of all the pictures we have taken of Ben the only ones we have not had to retake ten times to get a straight face are the ones where he is asleep. It is a genetic thing, and in our twisted minds it is one she chose freely when saying, “I do.”

It however is all just part of us being us, and at least in tonight’s picture I can traumatize you with a picture that includes me.  Consider it my gift to you.  It’s just what the dignified do.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Of Things Royal……….

The irony of this picture is that just moments before he was throwing a Royal (capitalized in honor of Her Majesty the Queen) Fit about how he was NOT tired and did not need to go to sleep.  He had been at this protest for quite some time, and had already passed the threshold of where we should have just kept him up.  As this was taken yesterday, we woke him up to go the the banquet I wrote about yesterday, and getting him up was a Royal Pain!  He was pretty grumpy (to put it politely) and recovered to his (as) normal (as he ever gets) self just a few minutes before pulling into the banquet. But I want to be Royally Clear, he was not tired.

Of course we were all kids, and if you were like him or me, which I am sure you were, you remember knowing more than your parents.  (I actually still do)  But what I have come to discover, especially today as I was talking with my dad, is that I just may not be as smart as I think I am, and when I act like I am I often miss valuable lessons.

My dad will tell the story about taking me when I was much younger than Ben to visit my Uncle Al. He put me to bed, but I didn’t want to go to sleep.  I kept coming out of my room.  And as my dad retells it, he wanted to kill me, but I (thanks to the Grace of God) came out I don’t know for the how many numbered of times and said something like, “hey my wonderful dear old dad of mine, I think you and Uncle Al need a pizza.”  For the exact wording as my dad, but I won’t just in case he has repressed variation of PTSD from it.  Apparently however, it worked.

But okay, get ready for a huge revelation…..my dad was right.  Going to bed is pretty cool, and at my age naps are one of the most precious gifts from God I can think of.  When a nap or bedtime comes I rejoice.  And I cannot ever imagining arguing against either, or at least not very hard.  And until Ben became a Royal Poopy-head about taking naps, we even used to have “family nap time” with him.  He now moves around in his sleep with the intent to injure and seeks anyone warmer freezing who he will suck the heat right out of like a parasite on a host.  So he now misses those naps, and if they take place he is generally banned to his room for what he calls “quiet time” which for him is clearly a misnomer.

But here in the picture he looks peaceful and angelic, just like our parents (the grandparents) see him as. But in all honesty, who can trust them anyway?  All they ever wanted to do to us was to make us take naps.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Searching for answers……..

I do not know who is showing up at Ironhorse Taekwondo in my wife’s place, but there needs to be some sort of mistake, as tonight at their banquet she received an award for the best attitude of the female students there.  All I know is that three nights a week she and Ben leave the house for what I thought was class, but this in no way can be the same Amanda Tirman.  I thought there was only one.

But indeed I shall admit, I just might be wrong.  There is always a first, and tonight just may be it (I am kidding here lady-readers as we have cups in our house that reflect the truth….mine=Mr. Right and hers=Mrs. Always Right)  Perhaps taekwondo just transforms her.  Maybe she ought to carry a bit of that into her life here at home.

Of course that is what I am afraid of……taekwondo is not meant to be used offensively, but the pink elephant in the room is that she IS a Green Belt!  It’s sort of the same come to reality realization that you think of when your son acts a bit “all that” and you think “I changed your diapers big boy and I can take you anytime I want,” but then you remember he is a US Marine and you change your mind.  I am not totally convinced that a Green Belt could do it, but I am certain I “do not want to push my luck” as my mom would say.

So for now I will remain as neutral as Switzerland and just wish her a hearty “congratulations.”  I still am not sure what has happened, but I suppose I will chalk it up to the same bewilderment I see on her face when I see parishioners tell her “your husband is wonderful.”  Payback tonight, I suppose, is sweet!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Reading for pizza…….

Yep, there was nothing cool for us as children in my generation.  Sure there was TV, and even color TV in fact, but there also was no cable vision.  And we as children were really more of antenna (or aerial) adjusters and remotes for the TV our parents watched just those three channels on.  We played soldiers, but with not a lot of money, sticks were our guns and pine cones our grenades. We also all played sports with old gear, and things like stop signs and man hole covers were bases, small piles of snow were our goals.  And doing school work was our JOB and there was really little incentive to do more…..we were just kids.

But tonight my youngest, Ben, ate a pizza he earned for reading extra books from the library, and that little rat ate it right in front of me.  I will confess that I suppose me and my childhood friends might have read more too if someone put pizza on the line, but there was never anything that cool, and had there been we would have been quite suspicious
!  In my day (to sound like my dad) we went out to eat as a treat and treats were pretty rare.  We had nothing electronic and just had to rely on old fashioned playing and our imaginations. And even though  I may not have ever earned a pizza (EVER in my life), I did have the privilege to skate on the ice with some of the greatest hockey players of all time (although this was completely contained in our neighborhood minds) and these same young men also were the very ones who liberated more people in the name of freedom than John Wayne did in movies (although this was also just in our minds).  But you need to remember that we were the same generation that “Pong” was released to, and we thought it to be a scientific marvel.

But I have no regrets growing up when I did, as I really do appreciate the blessings it gave me.  Yeah, it wasn’t as “cool” as everything is today, but I will take it anyway because to me it has meaning and continues to provide me life lessons.

As an example, I posted something on Facebook the other day about my struggling to make some important decisions in my life when one of my childhood friends, Sean O’Shea (yes, he might just be Irish) posted this.   He said, “Look at it from a hockey perspective, you’re bearing dow on the goalie and you see no viable shot, with some patience and a good deek the right window opens up and bam you score!!”

That I got……….what I don’t get is my iPhone.  We just got experience and that I will keep and cherish. Today’s kids get the pizza, and quite honestly they can have it!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Seeking Inspiration in All the Wrong Places……..

Oh the incredible irony!  I came home this evening, prayed (as I promised) for those who posted to my blog concerning prayer, and then decided to find a picture before I wrote as I am just plain tired.  I really wasn’t flight over fright, I was just whooped.

As my life often turns out, I noticed on my desktop and folder entitled “Inspirational,” which I knew to be a folder where I put inspirational pictures.  What a blessing, at least until I clicked it open……it was empty!

My electronic life has just not been going too well since my hard drive had to be replaced and restored early last year.  I do know I have most everything I need back on the new drive, it’s just finding it that is the problem.  Plus, after a certain age (25 for me) you not only really get cranked out of shape by these wild goose chases, but quite honestly I do not know what that even means!

Oh I wish life were as easy as what it seems, but if that were the case following recipes would all look like the pictures and we’d all be buff by just working out less than five minutes per year.  It just doesn’t work that way…..some people just say it does.

So to sell it like it is, please enjoy this gratuitous picture of my daughter Stephanie and I.  She is my oldest, a SENIOR in college majoring in CHEMISTRY.  She is also now 22, and is the one on the left.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Observations on prayer…….

There’s a line at the end of Confession, where the priest whereupon releasing the penitent, says to him/her “Go in peace, and pray for me, a sinner.”  So it is not uncommon for a man such as myself, to ask for prayers, even outside of Confession.

And of course I did that today and did it via a posting on Facebook.  I really just felt the need to ask for prayers, and yet it released a firestorm of attention to me that was really not all that necessary.  In fact, there is not any type of a crisis, I am just a bit stuck in making a few decisions I need to make, but it did turn out to be pretty helpful as it drew me deeper into thinking about prayer.

You know I have said for years that we as a society, even in the Church, pray like we are taking an aspirin, (yes that dates me as aspirin now is a preventive pill for old people’s hearts like mine) But we used to take it when we had headaches and pains, a lot like people take Tylenol or Advil now.  But we would not ever take any of it if nothing were wrong, and that’s sort of the way over the course of my ordained ministry I have found people engaging in personal prayer……when something is wrong or when they need something.  And the majority of the time when people have asked me to pray for them, it has reflected just that.  Mine was really not a “need” as much as just a “want.”

So I guess I am saying that I really shouldn’t be surprised at the reaction.  I just happened to be signed on to Facebook saying Happy Birthday to those who’s birthdays pop up on my screen, and just felt led to do ask, but I am fine.  No one is sick, our kids are fine, and I am as young, tall, handsome and delusional as ever.  (Don’t pray for any of that to change!) It just wanted to share with and feel the presence of others as I sought some answers.  And I truly am blessed by the concern.

So as an offer, give it a try.  If you comment on this or like it after I post the link on Facebook in a few minutes, I will pray for you.  You don’t have to need anything, and your life doesn’t have to have a crisis of any kind.  Just connect and I will pray for you.

But also, if you DO have something specific, message me if it is more personal, or post it if it is not, and I will pray specifically about that for you.  I just want to practice what I preach and I thank you all for your care and concern.

Tonight’s picture is one of my favorites and is NOT my cat….just a picture I found that made me laugh.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+