All posts by Fr Tom Tirman

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Hanging out…….

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I do not often get to have a night like I did tonight. I was home late from a premarital session and Ben was not yet asleep. As it turned out, Amanda was tired, so Scott and I snuck Ben downstairs to play. And after a while, Steph came home and it was just me and the three kids destroying the house on our own without supervision, I mean Amanda.

And it was really kind of fun for me. All three of them are so much alike, yet so very different. They all three make each other laugh, and that’s part of the fun. Steph is leaving for Lindenwood in a few weeks, and Ben, who will be a college probably long after I am dead, was wearing a Lindenwood jersey. Scotty and Ben had pizza together tonight and both relayed that adventure to me. Steph and Scott both got texts from friends as all this went on……it was an interesting dynamic, that’s for sure.
But mostly, it just made me thankful I am their dad, and reminded me of how proud I am of them all too. I should mention the dog was there too, but asleep the whole time. He, like Amanda, will need to read this tomorrow when they wake up.
But for now I will go to bed counting my blessings. It has been a marvelous evening and I pray for a good night’s sleep.
Goodnight to you my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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On the Potter’s Bridge Trail……

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In between all that I have to do, I am trying to get a bit of exercise too. And today I thought it would be a great idea to go push Ben in his stroller down at Potter’s Bridge. It is 3 miles from beginning to end, and in his stroller I thought I would get two times in before the rain.

Of course he was much less than cooperative. He apparently is “too big” for the stroller and prefers to choose option two….”run around like a maniac,” although his “maniac” sounds a lot more like something else. But regardless, I was put into a situation where I needed to choose between the exercise I wanted and total “dad” time. And like Martha and Mary in yesterday’s Gospel, I “chose the good portion,” …..the stroller remained in the car.
And Ben did a lot better than he or I expected. He wanted to keep moving ahead, and he did at a great pace. When we turned around we were 1.25 miles from the start making it a 2.5 mile walk. But Ben, clearly not wanting me to have an easy workout, INSISTED that I carry his sweaty hot little stinky self the last mile in the 85 degree heat. So yes, I got a great workout in the end.
And honestly, I have no regrets. Hanging with any of my kids is always a blessing and an adventure…….though the little one lies. To get me to carry him he kept saying that he loved me and wanted to give me a kiss. And once he had his arms around my neck the “carry you’s” (he doesn’t say “carry me,” he says “carry you”) began in insistence. And our half mile workout of intensity would have rivaled even Billy Banks!
But now we are home and enjoying the night. I still may get out an walk some more after he goes to bed. Scotty might want to go but I have news for him…..at 6’1″ he can finish the entire walk by himself.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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A matter of perspective…….

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Today is July 18th, and as I made it through my day today I became very aware that just 1 month from now, August 18th, I will be dropping my daughter Stephanie off at college hundreds of miles away. And though I am proud of her, and excited for her, somehow the whole thing (that I have been preparing for my entire life) will be a big thing for me.

Of course for her, it is also July 18th. And I am sure today at one point at least, if not multiple times throughout the day, she thought that in just 1 month, August 18th, I will arrive at college and begin my new life there. And though I am sure she is excited to go, I am also certain that she wonders just how she will ever live without us! (Okay, I just made that last part up).
But it’s funny how we can look at the very same thing and see it so differently…..it clearly is a matter of perspective. And my perspective to her, and all her friends, I know they believe is skewed. After all, to me they are all still the same kids I have known for years. They however, are young women, adults now in fact, all legally able to be married and live on their own with or without parental permission. But as a parent, it is often hard to let go. And my perspective is what makes that so hard.
I told Steph tonight that her three full days here in the house were the most that I could remember seeing her in years. Teenagers these days are always doing something, and tomorrow I am sure she will get back to her active social schedule. But I will say being able to talk to her by just walking down the hall at anytime, really was quite weird. It was like she was 8 again and here all the time. Times are changing and times have changed…..I guess I better get used to it.
So just a month to go. I intend however to hold my head high and enjoy every day. As a dad, I am glad it worries me and that I am dealing already with the fact that I will miss her. I would be horrified to think our relationship was such that I just couldn’t wait for her to go. She’s a great kid….excuse me, young woman…adult. These 30 days I expect like these last 18 years, will go by quickly. I will thank God for each and every one of them! (and yes, the picture is a couple years old)
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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A foot on the head is worth 30 lunches to someone…..

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Today has been a miserable day in terms of getting my head together. Sometimes I just struggle, and today was a real struggle all day. It is now almost 11pm, I have no sermon yet for tomorrow, I am exhausted, and my first service is in a little more than 9 hours. Of course I am confident I will do fine, but the stress is always more of a bother when I am in it.

But there are a few highlights to the day. Steph is doing remarkable….she told me she intends to eat macaroni and cheese tomorrow and that she is sick of ice cream. And Scott came home from work and headed to the store with Amanda…..why???? He did it so that he and a few of his friends could head into Indianapolis tomorrow to hand out lunches and care packages they are making tonight to people who could use them there.
So as for me, I am calling it a night. In times like these sleep is what I need, but I have the feeling I will not be sleeping well. I am going to give it a try though.
I do hope and pray your day was a blessing to you. Ben has snuck into my bed as I am typing and has set his foot upon my head. I am not going to move him, because I needed that. It is a big distraction to a difficult day, and a foot on my head is something that I find a blessing to have to handle!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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It’s okay, I’m with the band…..

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If you know the origin of that quote, then you too are probably a “Blues Brothers” fan. I have seen that movie probably as much as I have seen my three favorites….”It’s a Wonderful Life” (b&w, Jimmy Stewart), “The Princess Bride,” and “A Beautiful Mind.” It was always comforting to me somehow that the Lord could use two boy’s school rejects, which made me hopeful about my own future for sure.

But tonight the line from outside of Bob’s Country Bunker, in Kokomo, Indiana no less (where we have a CHURCH – no, not at Bob’s Country Bunker, but in Kokomo, Indiana) came to mind to me as Ben joined his brother downstairs for a jam session. His guitar was bigger than he was, but somehow it just didn’t matter. He drug it to the couch and began to play “with the band.”
His preferred genre is not quite what is normally played down there, yet neither were Jake and Elwood at Bob’s Country Bunker. Yet when music is playing, somehow things always seem to work out. Tonight was not exception. There was a lot of smiling and sining and then the concert ended due to what in the music business we call “bath time.” The conflict in the movie happened after the band left the bar without paying for their tremendous beer tab, and though Ben does not drink beer, there still was conflict. Ben slid Scotty’s kaypo under the strings and left the whole thing there on the couch. Musicians, I tell you……
Anyway, it has been a crazy night and I am sure Steph will not be sorry she has slept through it all. She had her wisdom teeth out this morning and has only been up a little. She seems no less wise for sleeping through the concert. Maybe those teeth are mis-named.
Anyway, it is off to make sure Estaban is getting clean.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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The Prodigal…….

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Although he has been in his own bed the last four nights, Ben tonight has returned to our bed. As a matter of fact, I am trying to type this very moment with him jamming his little feet into my ribs. He seemed more than happy to sleep in his own bed tonight……as long as someone slept in there with him. Unfortunately for us all, there were no takers.

But really, I do not mind. Though I tend to always get his feet kicking me in one way or another, it is, in truth, a delightful adventure. Kids are only little once, and I really do enjoy listening to him concoct a story as to why he needs to not sleep in his room. And the stories are always better when there are no storms, bad dreams, or any of the usual sad excuses.
So once again he is here, and the streak of Ben-less bed nights ends currently at 4. I am sure it is a record that will be broken and soon. But I am in no hurry for him to grow up. Lord knows I still haven’t! It is a blast dealing with a little guy who constantly cracks me up. It is a blessing for sure!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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The Small Stuff…

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I know the expression, “Don’t sweat the small stuff,” and I even think I own a book by that name, but often when we do not sweat the small stuff we lose sight of it.

I have been dedicating parts of the last few weeks to think about small things that I have set aside, but not quite yet forgotten, in the hopes that I might get a few things done.
Actually, there is often great value in doing the small stuff too. Sure, not getting it done is never earth-shattering, but I have really had some fun doing it…..particularly today.
You see, in our ministry we make just about everything because buying it is just too expensive. So today I decided to do a few projects. It’s good for me to do too, especially since ministry often has no tangible result. So today I made a sign.
Sure, you may not think that is that big a thing, but for about $30 I saved us at least $100. It doesn’t look marvelous, but you can see it from the road, and it is certainly as nice as many of them that it hangs with. I also began painting the mailbox at St. Patrick’s that I hope to have done tomorrow, and if all goes well I may just try to unify all of Christendom sometime tomorrow afternoon….but for now it’s just the small stuff.
It has been a great day but I am glad that it is over. Tomorrow is a busy one, but I am looking forward to it. I have a great life and it is filled with so many blessings!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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The Papa….the PAPA!

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It has been an unbelievably busy day for me, but the highlight of it all was being able to talk with my dad earlier this evening. He was in the car heading into London, and he sounded great. He must have still been drugged up though, since he shared he was stuck in traffic and had been for about 2 hours……it just wasn’t right, my dad was born and raised in Brooklyn.

But whoever it was that I talked to and told me he was my dad, and quite honestly he made my day. I do not need any inheritance. After all, I already have what I need from him…..six pack abs, chiseled features, amazing intelligence and a delusional self-perception. But seriously, when those you love are away and there is a crisis you worry. And, I was worried. And I know we all were. I know that Debby was very worried and I could hear it in her voice. It is such a blessing to know it is resolved. Tonight I actually told him about sharing it on my blog and on Facebook asking for prayers. He was VERY appreciative. Thank you all so very much.
So often as a priest I am called to be with families and people in these kind of situations and even as someone called into it, it weighs heavy upon you. I want you all to know how very thankful I am for all your prayers and support for my dad, because as you were praying for him, you were helping me and my family.
Of course I asked him if he was cutting the vacation short and coming home to which he answered………no. No surprises there and good for him. I am just glad he will be home sometime. And I want to thank you for all your prayers!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Planters Planters Everywhere!

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Dear Lord….it is either feast or famine. Of course as a priest of many years, I should have known better. All I needed to do was ask my congregations to start praying for Church Planters and for people to called to ministry and WHAM…..I am busier than ever! (or EV-A if you are under 18)

But in truth, I am amazed by it all. I am hearing from people interested in all parts of the state! It is such a blessing and an exciting time to see such enthusiasm and faithfulness! If I were just more faithful we might not have had to wait this long!
So tomorrow I will meet yet another, who I actually talked to for the first time today! A few weeks ago, another stayed at my house that I had never met! They both may become brothers in ministry (in Indiana)! At least I hope so (take note you two….IN INDIANA!)
On a side note, as predicted, I did hear from Uncle Al…..I got details on his walk, and was surprised to hear he learned about dad (his brother) from me. Dad is still in the hospital, and should be released in the morning. Hopefully that comes to fruition. I expect to hear from him personally tomorrow.
Anyway, it is off to bed for me. Tomorrow is another busy day, so pray for me. But more than that, pray for my dad. At 165 I am sure he worries that each breath will be his last. And I mock him (because he is just 74) in hopes that he will read this an commit himself to get out of the hospital and fly home to kick my butt. I love you dad, but we just need to get you home!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Da plan…….

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I am writing this at 8:30, hoping to get Ben to bed at 9pm so Amanda can get onto the treadmill. If all goes to plan and Ben goes to sleep, Viper and I should be able to end the day with a long walk as the sun sets.

Of course the words “if all goes to plan” are the operative ones. Three year olds can be unpredictable, and are often more defiant than the most independent teenager. But I will be giving it a shot. I really need to get into a routine, and what I have found is that the early mornings just don’t seem to work. So I am taking a lesson from my dear old Uncle Al….walk at night. Al, my dad’s oldest brother, would walk his dogs out on the golf course by his house late at night. I am not sure if he still does, but I expect him to tell me since he reads this, but regardless, I am hankering to continue the tradition.
The nice part is that it will be a relaxing way to end a day. Our treadmill is nice, and our health club has nice ones too (and is open 24 hours a day) but there is something about the clean fresh air and looking at the stars when you walk. I enjoy that very much. Please pray for our dog though….after all committing to walk makes him give up at least one of the 23 hours he sleeps in a day. Golden Retrievers have it rough.
So this entry is done, and it contains a gratuitous picture of Ben for his grandparents and other relatives……(I gotta get my points.) I hope and pray you have had a blessed day! I know I have!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+